Snippets: Comments from the Red: Snippets, #1

By Phil Berto

Lib-rals, Conservatives, Alt-right, Alt-left, Catholics, Protestants, Jews and everyone else is fair game for the riotous humor and nose-tweaking opinions of Phil Berto. These snippets of "Plain Old Common Sense" come to his mind every day, and after years of sharing them with only subscribers to his firefighter newsletter, he's finally giving the rest of us a glimpse! From the Presidential Election to why Lib'ral Ladies should ALWAYS wear camo, you'll laugh, growl and never get over this collection of thoughts from a modern philosopher,. 

• Language: English
• Publisher: StormFront Publishing
• Release date: Aug 15, 2018
• ISBN: 9781386460893

Phil Berto

Phil Berto is a retiree with a wicked sense of humor and an old typewriter. When he isn't writing his thoughts to share with his fans and the rest of the world, he enjoys fishing, hunting and motorcycle racing, and finding new ways to annoy his lib-ral acquaintances.

Book preview

FRONTISPIECE*

HATE SPEECH

IN (ROUGHLY) 2006, a lesbian couple hosted (hostessed?) an animal show on TV. They denigrated the male African lion (racism?) for being... male. The females do the hunting and the cub rearing. The male sleeps all day. Even his mane is a fraud. (You think I am making this up, don't you?)Their hatred of all things male carried over to our animal brethren, and this was before we were all deemed toxic. Nevermind that the King's (No, not Elvis, Elvis is dead. Give it up.) magnificent mane helps protect him from tooth and claw when defending his pride. (Dear Dykes: the females sit this one out, even though, if their stud, whom they seem to like, loses, the new patriarch** will kill their cubs and start over. Kinda like S.F.)

’Bout that time o' the epoch, Ft. Lauderdale's gay mayor banned the Boy Scouts from City facilities because BSA thought it was a Bad Idea to send pubescent boys into the woods with a queer Scoutmaster. (Aw, everybody knows that homosexuals never use positions of authority to get over on kids. Right, Bishop?)

Lately, lib-rals 'llow mainstream media sources to provide, not information, but affirmation of already-held beliefs and prejudices. One would think that they would welcome a lone alternative (Fox News), if only to provide a counter-poise to keep their sources honest. They don't. (See: already-held beliefs... ) Hence, they live in a world which is comfortable with the fact that invading illegal alien felons receive sanctuary but American citizens don't; where Bill Maher may call Sarah Palin a cunt but Rush Limbaugh may not call Sandra Fluke a slut; where a very famous actor (or is he a singer?) is forgiven a joking reference to pedophilia but Roseanne will never be absolved of a very obliquely racist remark about a woman she (and the rest of the known world) thought was white. Hot Tip: If Planet of the Apes makes you think of black folks, who is the racist here?

Bottom line: we all seek validation of our beliefs. Finding none, we must be flexible enough to alter or at least re-think them. Liberals have the entire establishment news network to bolster their often-flawed perspective, and they are not the ones being called deplorables or smelly or clinging to their guns and their religion.

The following is an attempt to even things up a bit.

PB

*Kinda like a codpiece, but different.

**Look it up.

PS: Bill Maher was later visited by feminist Gloria Steinem with nary a peep. ’Slong as you support infanticide a/k/a late-term abortion, you’re OK.

S. F.: (San Fransisco) The liberals’ Dream City. They wake up moist just thinking of this place. Sure, you’ll see heroin syringes and human feces on any sidewalk, but there are no plastic straws in any of the restaurants. Yay.

21 February 2018: Rev. Billy Graham, Preacher of the Gospel of Our Lord Jesus Christ

* * * * *

ON THE NIGHT OF HIS BETRAYAL, HE WENT WILLINGLY TO HIS PASSION...

-from the Catholic Mass, anywhere in the world.

I’m tired of seeing The Lion of Judah portrayed as a skinny ascetic with girlie hands and a wimpy face. Would the commercial fishermen of Galilee have listened to a yuppie wus? I think not. Jesus was a carpenter’s apprentice. Before Skilsaws. The Man cleared the Temple single-handedly. No one, not even the armed guards there, even thought of opposing Him.

Every time I hear some punk say, He’s a badass or Man, that’s gangsta over some (usually illegal) feat of supposed derring-do, I am reminded that Jesus Christ picked a fight with the Pharisees, allowed Himself to be arrested and subjected Himself to a prolonged torture that would have killed a normal man at the scourging, much less the hours He spent, alive, on the cross. And He saw it coming. That’s a badass. That’s gangster.

P.S. Jesus sweat blood in the Garden of Gethsemane as He awaited His arrest. Like I said, He saw it coming and He still did it. Gangster.

LEGALIZED MURDER

A Center For Reproductive Rights (Translation: Center for Killing Unwanted Babies) spokesperson bemoaned a disturbing trend that makes it harder for women to get services. Services, of course, means killing their babies. Think about it. This woman finds it disturbing that fewer babies will be killed. I find that disturbing.

THE WAY WE WERE PER AN O’REILLY FACTOR FREQUENT GUEST

As a young enlisted soldier, Col. Ralph Peters, US Army (Ret.) visited Dachau and viewed the photographic records of American G.I.s liberating that prison camp. As Americans, that’s what we do; that’s who we are, said Peters recently while reminiscing about that day so long ago. What the good Colonel is missing is that (soldiers, sailors, police and fire fighters aside) an increasing percentage of our population is sitting life out on their front porches waiting for every and all gov-mint hand-outs they can be taught to sign up for. Thank any liberal.

WHO EVER KNEW TRUTH PUT TO THE WORSE IN A FREE AND OPEN ENCOUNTER?

-John Milton

I can remember trying to convince a conservative that George Bush’s nomination of Harriet Miers to the Supreme Court didn’t really count as a female appointment because she was conservative and... Christian. Such a prejudiced view was only able to take root because of the lack of ideological, political and religious diversity in my world.

-Kirsten Powers, The Silencing: How the Left is Killing Free Speech

SHE WAS TOO BIG TO JAIL: 7/5/16, FBI Director James Comey screwed the pooch

(and kicked his NYU Professor buddy)

PLEASE STOP HELPING US - Jason L. Riley

Booker T. Washington dared to advocate black self-help: ... you must have property, industry, skill, economy, intelligence and character in addition to political activism. Today’s ultimate racists (Jesse Jackson, the Rev. Al Sharpton, etc.), faithfully following in the footsteps of Malcolm X, believe blacks to be incapable of those virtues, much like the white liberal (unwitting) racists who lower scholastic, language and behavioral standards for blacks. Political activism, by itself, is a temporary forced fix. A permanent solution for any minority which finds itself treated as second-class citizens is to employ all of Booker T’s tenets, not just the easy ones, and not just the handouts.

Example: the first wave of Polish immigrants to settle in the big cities were called dirty Pollocks. When people saw how hard the men worked in the factories, how meticulously the women kept their homes and reared their families (this was before feminism), and how grandmas in babushkas swept the front stoop, the sidewalk and the street in front of their homes, the dirty Pollock thing quietly went away in one generation, an eyeblink in human history.

The local wisdom in this small Southern Christian town (which is hardly an exception) where jist ’bout ever-buddy is disabled (wink, wink), was expressed to me as I approached the polling place. You gotta vote for Hillary! She’ll keep our shit comin’. The white folks have been taught to do this perfectly, having had the same teachers as the blacks. Do-dah.

BULLSHIT

Social programs rarely include self-help. Dems don’t want blacks to succeed. ’Slong as they are on the dole, they’ll vote Dem to keep their shit comin. The left says it values diversity while shouting down conservatives, attacking police horses and accusing damn near everybody (including themselves) of cultural appropriation**.

**Daring to learn a new way to cook, dance, dress, sing etc. from another ethnic group. Oh, the horror.

LIMOUSINE LIBERALS

I’ll stop supporting a border barrier the day the Hollywood elites un-wall their mansions and gated communities.

ONE HOUR AFTER THE Alexandria shootings, Virginia’s governor called for more gun laws, then said it was too soon to call for more gun laws. Att Gov. McAuliffe, L.A. Times, NYT etc.: the NRA has never supported guns for everyone and has always advocated stiffer penalties for gun crimes. It is ironic, but no surprise, that gun law proponents rarely want harsher penalties for anything. PS: It is against the law for a felon to even attempt to buy gun. People who do so are turned away by gun stores but never, ever prosecuted. Translation: existing gun laws are not being enforced. Calling for more demagoguery seems to be the only answer the left will accept.

GETHSEMANE

Can’t show up for church on time? He arrived on time for His crucifixion.

THANKS, RAHM: IN CHICAGO, illegal aliens are safe. American citizens will continue to get their asses shot off.

DRY SPELL

Not to say that things are slow, but lately I’ve been answering the IRS fraud phone call just to speak to someone.

THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD

Burn brush piles promptly and start the fire at one end only (or in the center) to give any lizards, spiders and snakes who may have already moved in a chance to escape. If a mindless phobia (sorry: redundant) causes you to want to kill these peerless predators (They work for a living; do you?), you’re REALLY not going to like their replacements. NOTE: If you have animals, kids or legs, the black widows (Brakeclean drops ’em) and 3% of snakes that are poisonous’ll have to go, which is why the Chinese cannon evolved (Cray-ep, Ah done ’fended the fundamentalists. Agin.*) in both directions, from 16-inch naval rifles to .22-inch rimfire rifles.

*We have been told that man was custom-made (what was He thinking?)

We can see that everything else evolves at the pleasure of The Lord.

PS: Many orb web spiders deploy their snares in the morning and take them up every night. Talkin’ ’bout work ethic. She spins straight silk for the anchor lines, sticky silk for the trap and (get this) double strand silk for the line she hangs from. ATT ATHEISTS: R U getting any of this?

EVERYONE IS EQUAL BUT SOME ARE MORE EQUAL THAN OTHERS – George Orwell

There are two women on the planet to whom I would entrust a Browning Superposed for cleaning. There are half a dozen men. Sounds like 1:3 to me.

Q: Has The Jeffersons been canceled?

A: Only on ESPN

Ya gotta wish that Robert G.* Lee had said, Fuck yes, I mind, ’steada cowing to the latest politically correct liberal bullshit like a pussy**.

*Gutless

**Now, liberal ladies, uh, I mean liberals who identify with the female gender, this may not have been a reference to a body part. After all, the main ingredient in General Tso’s chicken, which in Szechwan Chinese is spelled @#$#$%&, is pronounced straycat. Look it up.

HARRY HOMEMAKER

Rubbin’ garlic on ye bread? Cut the end off but don’t peel it. Less slippin’.

If you must use draw-string garbage bags, cut the loops after tying them. The animals at the dump are miserable enough without being lassoed. (I know you cut up your 6-pack rings, even if you’ve never seen a sea turtle, neck rubbed raw, being slowly strangled by one of these little horrors.) If you dump fishing line without cutting it up, you are a criminal. Ditto old nets. PS: Take the large claw off a fiddler crab, he grows a new one. Miami’s Marielitos take both claws and the crab starves to death. Thank Jimmy Carter. (For that tiny piece of meat in the second claw, they threaten a species via prolonged, needless deaths of God’s creatures. Shame on them and asshole Carter.)

KILLED BY COPS SO FAR THIS YEAR: 275 whites, 136 blacks, Even though Blacks resist arrest eight times more than whites.

OFFICER, PLEASE SHOOT