Love Me Tender: Love Me, #4

By Jaime Russell

 Shawn

Nicarra was the love of my life, and I let her slip right between my fingers. I couldn't stick around and watch her live her life without me, so I joined the Navy and got the hell out of dodge. I've lived in my own personal hell for years, and I still have demons that I fight every single day. But now that I've moved back home, it's time for me to show Nicarra exactly how I feel. I have my sights set on her, and this time, I'm not letting her slip through my fingers.

Nicarra

Starting over from the bottom, is something I never thought I would have to do, but here I am, a single mom with three boys, striving to make life better for them and myself. My ex-husband made it his mission to make my life a living hell, but he didn't succeed. I'm strong, I'm determined, and now, I'm free. Shawn was my best friend for years, and now that he's back in my life, he wants more. For once in my life, I just want to be happy. Is that too much to ask?

But sometimes, the past doesn't stay buried. Someone is threatening Nicarra's life, and Shawn's one true chance at having a real family. Is this their second chance at love, or is the past back to haunt them both forever?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jaime Russell
• Release date: Aug 24, 2018
• ISBN: 9781386022879

Book preview

Dedication

Love me tender

Love me sweet

Never let me go

You have made my life complete

And I love you so

Love me tender

Love me true

All my dreams fulfilled

For my darlin' I love you

And I always will

Love Me Tender by Elvis Presley

Written by:

Ken Darby; credited to Elvis Presley and Vera Matson

Table of Contents

Dedication2

Acknowledgments 6

Copyright 8

Prologue 10

Nicarra Armstrong14

Shawn Stewart19

Nicarra Armstrong 24

Shawn Stewart 29

Nicarra Armstrong 35

Shawn Stewart 39

Nicarra Armstrong 44

Shawn Stewart 47

Nicarra Armstrong52

Shawn Stewart 57

Nicarra Armstrong 61

Shawn Stewart 68

Nicarra Armstrong 73

Shawn Stewart 77

Nicarra Armstrong 82

Shawn Stewart 86

Nicarra Armstrong 91

Shawn Stewart 95

Nicarra Armstrong 100

Nicarra Armstrong 104

Shawn Stewart 106

Nicarra Armstrong 112

Shawn Stewart 117

Nicarra Armstrong 122

Shawn Stewart 127

Nicarra Armstrong 131

Shawn Stewart 136

Nicarra Armstrong 141

Shawn Stewart 146

Nicarra Armstrong 151

Nicarra Armstrong 157

Shawn Stewart 162

Nicarra Armstrong 167

Shawn Stewart 172

Nicarra Armstrong 178

Shawn Stewart 184

Nicarra Armstrong 188

Nicarra Armstrong 191

Oliver Armstrong 198

Reagan Cramer 202

Shawn Stewart 206

Nicarra Armstrong 210

Shawn Stewart 215

Nicarra Armstrong 219

The End225

Epilogue 226

About the Author 229

Acknowledgments

This one is a bittersweet as it’s the final piece to the Love Me Series. When I started this journey, I never thought that I would be here writing the acknowledgments for my seventh book. It never gets easier on who to thank because there have been so many wonderful friends and family behind me encouraging me that I tend to forget someone, so it’s not done out of spite, so I love you all even if I don’t mention you by name.

Gigi Hoggard- This photo is what I needed and didn’t even know it at the time. I was obsessed with it for so long and when I finally decided that I had to have it, it all clicked for me. The book came alive with the photo that you captured of Blake and Gina.

Blake Sevani- I’m so glad that you are in the model book cover world and Gigi was able to capture this image. I look forward to spending time with you and getting to know you. We are going to take over the signing world one city at a time.

Gina Sevani- I fell in love with you through your words before I met you last year in Rebels. When I first started writing Nicarra, I didn’t know who would play her on the cover and thought that I’d have to do a premade which I had actually bought then I found this photo taken by Queen Gigi. You are a beautiful woman inside and out. I look forward to getting to know you.

J.M. Walker- You received Mr. Russell’s seal of approval and he’s a tough person to convince about a cover. You have a talented eye and I hope that I can be as talented you. I loved meeting you a year ago in Michigan and looking forward to seeing you again.

Debbie and Nicole- You two have stuck by me and helped me be a better author. Your encouragement and never letting me get down on myself has been so amazing. I’d be lost without you two. Thank you for your friendship. I love you two. Debbie, Salem is going to be so much fun and Nicole, I really hope you can come to it.

Nikki Reeves- My favorite person. I need to get that on a banner or something for you. Your help with this book has meant a lot to me. You were the first blogger that told me that you loved Love Me Like You Do and that has always stuck with me so to have your help with the final book means the world to me. Thank you!

My Misfits- You stick by me no matter what and that means everything to me. You are taking a chance on someone like me and for someone with the anxiety, depression and social awkwardness that is the best gift anyone could give me. Thank you.

My family- Not enough words in the world can I begin to apologize for the missed graduation to middle school, birthday parties, family outings for my many sleep deprived nights of writing, talking to myself and trying to figure out lots of unusual ways to break out of my writer’s block. I know that you love me and support me no matter what. I love you all.

My Tribe- I thought that I lost you. I’ve been so down in the sinkhole of depression that I felt so alone but I knew that you were there once I got out of my head. Your support, help, and wise words of wisdom means a lot to me. I look forward to tackling the last half of 2018 and the year of 2019. Look out, we are taking over the world.

Copyright

Love Me Tender

Copyright © 2018 Jaime Russell

Edited by: Nikki Reeves of Southern Sweetheart Author and Book Services 

Debbie and Nicole of Two Naughty Babes Editing Services

Cover Design: J.M. Walker of Book Just Write. Creations and Services

Photographer: Gigi Hoggard of Gigi Photography Studios

Models: Blake Sevani and Gina Sevani

Formatting: Jaime Russell

All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, including electronic or mechanical, without written permission from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This book may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite eBook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the work of this author.

Prologue

Okay, you can do this. I whisper to myself, as I wipe my hands on my dark blue jeans. I take a deep breath, as I bring my hand up to knock on the door, but it swings open, before my knuckles can touch it.

Shawn? Nicarra says, standing there with her eyes puffy from crying, and a smile that lights up the whole room.

Are you okay? Have you been crying? What’s wrong? I say with concern, as I walk into her apartment. It’s a small one bedroom with a living room, kitchen, and bathroom above her parent’s garage. I scan the room, seeing a man’s tool belt lying on the small brown kitchen table and men’s clothes sprawled everywhere in the living room.

I’m okay. No, actually I’m better than okay. Look! She holds out her left hand to show me a small diamond solitaire on her ring finger. Oliver asked me to marry him, and I said yes! She bounces in the place where she is standing. I stumble backwards, trying to let the news, that just broke my heart into a million pieces, sink in. I want to grab her by her arms, shake her, and tell her no. It should be my ring on her finger, and not another man’s. Well, are you going to say something?

Nicarra has been the love of my life since second grade. When I saw her walk in with her brown hair in pigtails, a shy smile on her face, and a pink sundress with sandals on, I knew that I was a goner. I didn’t realize it at the age of seven, but the older we got, the closer we became. My heart and head have always known that we belong together.

We graduated high school last night, and after celebrating with my parents at a dinner for the three of us, I went to talk to Reagan. I needed someone to tell me the truth, and she is the one person who never bullshits about anything. I think that is the reason Cash’s girlfriend, Robyn, hates her because she doesn’t hold back. There was never a moment that Nicarra went without Reagan just like there wasn’t a moment I went without Cash. The four of us were inseparable, until high school, when girls were noticing us, as we grew into our looks. I played football and basketball all four years in high school, and Nicarra came to every game to support me. I couldn’t have asked for a better friend than her, and I’ve kept her at arm’s length all these years, when I knew all along that she was the one for me.

Earth to Shawn. She waves her hands in front of me, trying to get my attention.

Sorry. What?

You looked lost in thought. Are you okay? I swallow hard and nod.

Wow, getting married, huh? I didn’t realize that you and Oliver were serious. I thought it was a casual thing.

Me too, especially since he’s five years older than me, so the last thing I expected was him to propose to me. He surprised me about ten minutes ago, and I don’t think I’ve come down from my cloud yet. Are you happy for me? She looks up at me with those beautiful brown eyes that captivate my dreams. I want to tell her the truth, but I put aside my feelings to give her the answer that she needs to hear from me.

Nic, of course I am! I fake smile and grab her by the waist, spinning her around the kitchen. She giggles, as her arms squeeze my neck, and I breathe in her scent of Jasmine. I try not to let her hear or see how disappointed and heartbroken I am, so I gently let her go.

Was there something that you needed? You showed up, and I just went straight into my news. Nicarra asks, as she walks to the refrigerator to grab a beer. One of the benefits of her dating an older man is that he can buy alcohol at least. She tips it towards me, and I shake my head, letting her know that I’m not drinking because once I start, then I won’t stop.

I wanted to see if you were hungry. I didn’t want to go home yet, and I wanted to spend some time with you, I say, as the door opens and Oliver walks in. He is 6’2" with a muscular build, black hair, and bright blue eyes. Nicarra sighs happily, as she stares at him, when he walks past me to kiss her. He kisses her with authority, letting me know that she belongs to him.

When they first started dating, Oliver had a talk with Cash and me about our feelings towards Nicarra. He wanted to make sure we didn’t try to sabotage his relationship with her. I try to keep the feelings from showing on my face, but I have to look away from their display. I hear my cell phone ping in my pocket, and I pull it out and check it, seeing that its Cash letting me know about a party.

Hey, I’m going to head out. There is a party going on at Robyn’s house. I’d invite you, but I know you and Robyn don’t really get along. Besides, you two should celebrate.

Thanks, Shawn. I love you. Nicarra hugs me. Be happy for me, she whispers, before letting me go. I nod, turn, and head towards the front door, getting into my beat-up Dodge Ram truck, that I bought with my money from my job these last three summers. My mind is all over the place because I thought that my future was planned for me. I was going to go to college, marry Nicarra, have some kids, and live happily ever after.

As I’m driving down the road, not paying attention to the news playing on the radio, I pass a sign that says, We want you. Come talk about your future. I slam on my brakes, glad that no one was behind me, and pull into the parking lot. I literally walk in and tell them to sign me up. No questions asked.

I spend the next hour signing and reading over everything that I need to do, and then I walk out of the office a little while later now a part of the Navy. I knew that I needed things to change, and this was my chance at a new life.

I have avoided Nicarra for most of the summer, and I’ve been spending a lot of time with Cash and Reagan. It’s actually better this way. She needs to move on, and so do I. Now, the time has come for me to leave. My mom has cried, Reagan has cried, and Cash is telling me that I’m making a mistake. Anything is better than staying here and watching my future slip through my fingers. I’m pulling out of the driveway, when I see Nicarra standing in my rearview mirror. I take a deep breath and get out, as Reagan and Cash stand there watching us, and my parents’ head back inside.

What the fuck? Were you just going to leave without a goddamn goodbye? I had to hear it from your mother that you joined the Navy. You’re an asshole, Shawn Stewart! I head to the front of the truck, standing beside her.

I didn’t think you wanted to be bothered because you’re planning your wedding. Thanks for dropping by though, but I have to head out. I will see you in about a year. Good luck with the marriage, I say with no emotion in my voice. It is heartless of me I know that, but I want her to hurt like I am.

You’re an ass. Don’t get killed so you can come back to us, so I can kill you later. Nicarra cries, as she runs to her car. I smell the burnt rubber from her tires, as she pulls away so fast that she almost gets into a head on collision with a semi-truck.

Don’t say it. I stand at my truck door, gripping the handle.

You pretty much are saying everything to yourself in your head, so I’ll keep quiet for now. Reagan says, as she comes to hug me. Please be safe and come back to us in one piece. I love you, Shawn, even if you were just an asshole. She kisses the back of my neck, as Cash slaps me on the shoulder.

Be safe. I get in and drive away, as I watch two of my best friends standing there. I need to put as much distance between Nicarra and I as possible, so I can get over her. She chose Oliver, and I will support it, but I don’t have to stick around to watch it. Here’s to a bigger and brighter future.

Nicarra Armstrong

Eighteen years later

I feel a chill run up my spine, making me shiver, as I start to unlock the back door to the bar. Something is off, and it definitely doesn’t feel right, so my eyes start darting around the scenery behind me. Nic’s Bar is located in an area where there are commercial buildings and apartment buildings. It’s close to downtown, but also far enough away that it’s not an overcrowded bar, like most of the bars in Miami tend to get.

I don’t see anything suspicious, but I’m still freaked out. I’m going to call Sam, who is my head of security, to do a sweep of the area around the outside of the building in addition to his normal duties. Things have been hopping at the bar lately, and it can get crazy sometimes. I walk into the kitchen, turning on the lights and looking around to make sure there isn’t anything out of place. After a quick look, I don’t see anything out of place. Eric, my head chef, will be in soon, so I’m going to be on the safe side and tell him about the uneasy feeling as well. I’m sure it’s nothing, but I’ll feel better if he looks around too.

Walking into the bar area, I see all the chairs and stools are up on the tables. There isn’t any glass anywhere, so I know no one broke in. I really need to stop watching horror movies with Shawn, Reagan, and Max at night. Those three fuckers know I hate horror movies, but they like fucking with me. Who puts a horror movie inside a chick flick case? I’m definitely going to start checking the cases from now on. Shawn thought it would be funny to let me think that we were going to watch The Longest Ride, but it ended up being one of the Michael Myers’ movies. Needless to say, I watched the whole thing with my eyes closed and hands covering my ears.  

I walk back to the locker room, turning the lights on and checking to see if there is anything out of place, but everything looks normal to me.

My cell phone starts to ring, startling me.  I see it’s an unknown number, and almost decided not to answer it, but quickly change my mind in case it’s an emergency. Hello? Silence greets me. I say hello again three more times and still nothing. I end the call and bring up my contacts, scrolling to Shawn.

My finger lingers over the call button, but I change my mind. I’m just being paranoid, so I put my phone away, take a deep breath, and then head to my office.

I never knew if I’d ever forgive Shawn for leaving the way he did that summer, but I prayed for him every day he was gone. He wasn’t around a lot for my tumultuous marriage with Oliver, which I’m thankful for, because I’m so embarrassed about staying with him and letting him continue to abuse me. I wouldn’t change it, which is crazy, but I have my boys. If Shawn knew everything that happened to me, he would’ve spent the last ten years, searching for Oliver to kill him.

When Shawn came home hurt, he told everyone not to tell me, and that crushed me more than I thought it would. Reagan has never been able keep a secret from me, especially when it comes to Shawn and Cash. She got busy one afternoon with a bad case, when she was working as a child caseworker, and couldn’t pick Shawn up from his physical therapy. I hadn’t seen him, but from what Reagan had been telling me it was bad, and that scared me. I agreed to pick him up, and it was not easy at first. We did nothing but argue the entire time back to his house. I helped him inside, and we just let each other have it. It was a no holds barred argument, but by the time we were done, we were laughing and hugging. I think being apart has actually made us stronger than ever.

I start working on the receipts of yesterday’s total, so I can take the money to the bank. I try to get it done before the lunch rush comes in, and so my bartender is left alone.

I’m adding everything up, when my phone starts to ring again. I jump, but this time I see that it’s Shawn.

Hello. My voice trembles.

Hey, fucker.  He laughs a big boisterous laugh, which makes me smile. Are you still freaked out?

Fuck you. What do you want? Some of us have real work to do.

I’ll have you know that I’m working very hard. It’s exhausting telling people what to do.

I bet it is. How is work? I ask him, as I keep working.

I’m working on orders and schedules. I hate paperwork day, but my boss is a slave driver. Anyway, I actually do have a reason for calling. Do you need me to get the boys after work and take them to their practices?

I thought Reagan was doing that?

No, she has to cover for Abby at the store because Ethan has an appointment.

Yes, please. I only scheduled one bartender today, and the night shift doesn’t start until four, so I probably won’t get out of here until at least six.

Okay sounds goods, and after practice, I’ll take them out to the diner for dinner, and you can meet us there.

What would I do without you? I smile, waiting for his smartass comment.

Probably be as bald as I am. I laugh out loud because he’s probably right. I wouldn’t change my relationship with Oliver because it gave me my boys, but I’ve always wondered what my life would have been like with Shawn. I look at the picture of my three boys around the Christmas tree last year, running my finger across it, so I can feel close to them. Well my boss is standing in my office doorway, so I need to pretend to be working, or he might fire me. If he fires me, can I have a job there?

Sure. I need a bar back who will be my bitch. I laugh, as I say goodbye and hang up.

I look at the clock on my cell phone and see that it’s already ten in the morning. Where did the last two hours go? I gather up the money, bank deposit slips, and then head to the locker room to get my stuff. I open my locker to see the pictures of my boys. I have a tiny mirror in my locker, and as I look at my reflection, I see a dark shadowy figure in the doorway, but when I turn, the figure is gone. I grab my purse and the money for the bank, slamming my locker shut and running out into the bar room. I’m looking everywhere, but I can’t see anyone. There is nothing disturbed. I hear clatter in the kitchen, and I have my can of mace in between my slender fingers ready to protect myself.

I slowly open the door, and there’s Eric firing up the stainless industrial strength stove. Jesus Christ let someone know you’re here. I grab my chest, and I’m surprised that Eric doesn’t hear my heart beating.

Fuck! I didn’t even know you were here. He drops a pan of water. I didn’t see your car out there, so I thought you were already at the bank.

What? My car isn’t there? I race to the back door, open it, and see that in fact my Dodge Charger isn’t there. What the fuck? I grab my phone and head outside to see if my car is out front. The door is locked, so I unlock it, and after checking for several minutes, I see it’s not there. I pull out my phone and call 911. While I’m on the phone with them, I’m writing down the people I need to call, but there are only two Shawn and Sam. The lady on the phone tells me they are sending an officer over right now. My security system should show what happened, but I have to wait, until Shawn or Sam get here, because I have no idea how to pull up the footage. Eric is waiting with me, as I’m biting my fingernails down to the stub, while pacing back and forth.

What’s taking them so damn long? There could be someone in here with us, and they could’ve killed us by now! I throw my hands in the air.

Calm down, I hear Shawn’s voice boom across the bar room. I run to him, jumping into his arms, and he catches me.

Shh. I got you. I’m here now. He says, as I cry into the crook of his neck. He keeps telling me that everything is fine, and he’s here now. I don’t let go of him one time, even as he sits me on the barstool.  Dove, you gotta let go of me, so I can sit down, or you’re going to fall.

There is a loud bang in the kitchen, which makes us all jump. Shawn takes off to the back to see what it is. Eric and I are sitting at the bar, when the police come barreling in, yelling at us to put our hands up.

I own the place, and I’m the one who called you. I say, beginning to panic.

We got a call about some suspicious activity in the bar.

The kitchen is completely destroyed. I don’t know how that happened. Shawn comments, as he walks out into the bar area.

Freeze! Put your hands up. The young officer points his gun at Shawn. Interlock your fingers behind your head and walk slowly towards me. Don’t make any sudden moves. The officer keeps an eye on Eric and me.

He’s part owner of the bar. His name is Shawn Stewart. Shawn is now standing up against the wall, and the other police officers start coming in to look around. Dave Hutchinson walks, and I breathe a sigh of relief. He’s a lieutenant, and a very well-respected man in our community. He