Captivate my Heart: The Subzero Series, #3

By Rebecca Elise

Caroline Ashby has spent the past seven months wanting Noah Walker.

Noah has spent the past seven long, agonizing months telling himself to stay away from Caroline.

But the moment comes where they can’t stay away from each other any longer, despite the fact that neither of them has an interest in commitment or any of the emotional baggage that comes along with being in an actual relationship.

They think they have formed the perfect union until one of them admits they have fallen in love with the other.

As they struggle to deal with their feelings, they both find themselves being forced to confront parts of their past – the same parts that caused their issues in the first place.

Can they both learn to open up their hearts so they can find their happily ever after together or are they destined to just fall apart?
 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Rebecca Elise
• Release date: Mar 7, 2014
• ISBN: 9781497787841

Book preview

This book is dedicated to Carrie, who has been such a wonderful friend

and source of encouragement throughout the writing of this book.

This book is also dedicated to my readers. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t

be able to do what I love the most, which is to turn the random

thoughts in my head into stories that I can share with you.

Chapter One – Caroline

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I love watching him as he performs. I’m completely entranced by the way he grips the microphone so tightly in his hands that his knuckles turn white. Then there’s the way he rocks the microphone stand back and forth when he sings an intense song and the way he squeezes his eyes shut when he sings an emotional one. The one that affects me the most, though, is the way his tongue glides across his lips in between verses. God how I wish that was my tongue on his lips or even his tongue on mine.

He’s unbelievably intense, passionate and sexy when he’s on stage. He’s the same way in bed too...or at least he is in my dreams. I wouldn’t actually know because I’m fairly certain Noah Walker barely knows I’m alive. There was a point, about seven months ago, when he acknowledged my existence and I thought something might start up between us but it never did. I’m not surprised though. I don’t stand much of a chance with the harem of half-naked randoms that are usually hovering around him, which is fine, seeing as I have no interest in being in a relationship with anyone right now. Not even with someone as hot as Noah.

You should just tell him. Abby says as she studies my face inquisitively.

Tell who what exactly? I take a sip of my tequila sunrise and pretend like I have no idea who or what she is talking about. The problem is I know exactly who and what she is talking about because my big mouth divulged the naughty workings of my brain to her a couple of months ago.

Don’t play coy with me Caroline Ashby. Their set is about to end and when it does, you should go up to him before he ends up knee deep in groupie nakedness and tell him you want to rip off his clothes and fiddle his instrument.

Wow! A deep male voice exclaims from behind us. I picked the wrong moment to come see if you ladies needed another drink.

Yes, another pregnancy special. Abby says.

I’ll take another. I say holding my glass up in the air.

Dex taps his knuckles on the bar. Alright so that’s one tequila sunrise and one milk and cola...which is completely disgusting Abby.

Hey, don’t knock it till you try it! Abby laughs.

I was with Dex. Some of these cravings she has been having are completely disgusting. When she started talking about adding meat muffins to the menu Juan Pablo and I began to come up with plans to lock her out of the kitchen.

Well I’m still holding out hope for you two. Abby says.

You’ll be waiting a long time. I’m not looking for a boyfriend and we both know the last thing Noah wants is a girlfriend.

Dex slides our drinks across the bar. I toss down some money, grab my glass and take a long, slow sip. I make a face at the taste of the tequila. I don’t know why I drink the stuff. It tastes bloody awful. We have a complicated relationship, tequila and I. It’s kind of like hooking up with a guy that you know isn’t good for you but you just keep going back for more.

What happened in your last relationship? Abby asks me.

This isn’t the first time she has asked me that question and I give her the same response that I give her every time. He just wasn’t a very nice person.

Abby’s lips settle into a thin line. I can tell she wants to press me for more information but she doesn’t, and for that, I am grateful. Adam Caldwell was a part of my life that I’d rather forget. I sip on my drink, and though I try my hardest to not think about it, my mind wanders back to the last time Adam and I spoke two years ago.

You just don’t get it Caroline. God, you’re so pathetic, Adam sneered. Can’t you see I don’t want you around? No one wants you around. Your own parents died to get away from you.

I ignored his comment about my parents because I knew it wasn’t true. They didn’t want to leave me. That accident was not their fault.

You said you loved me and now...why are you being like this?

Adam threw his dusty army green duffle bag down on the floor and walked towards me, backing me up against the wall. There was no room in between us and I could smell the alcohol seeping out of his skin.

That’s your other problem. You believe anything that anyone tells you.

We grew up together Adam. We’ve been in a relationship for the past two years and now you’re saying that whole relationship was a lie? That you never really loved me?

For a moment I swore I saw a hint of remorse in Adam’s aqua blue eyes, but as quickly as I saw it, it disappeared. He placed his hands on the wall and pushed himself away from me before strolling across the room, picking up his duffle bag as he walked by it. He paused at the door, and without looking back at me, he said No, Caroline, I never really loved you. I just loved what you did to me.

Did you hear a word I just said? Abby asks, bringing me back to reality.

No, I’m sorry. What did you say?

Abby frowns at me. Are you alright?

I’m fine. It’s just the tequila. I think I had too much tequila. I tell her, which is half true.

Well, I was saying since the guys are done, I’m going to grab Tyler before he gets sucked into anything ridiculous. This child is killing my back and my ankles are so freaking swollen.

Abby finishes her weird milk and cola mixture and slides off of the barstool. She grabs her purse and waves as she waddles over to where Tyler is standing by the stage. I turn around on my stool so that I am facing the bar. Catching a glimpse of red out of the corner of my eye, I glance to my left and see Noah leaning against the bar talking to Dex. A petite brunette struts over and wraps her arms around Noah’s waist. He glances down at her, and while he doesn’t look particularly thrilled that she has attached herself to him, he makes no attempt to move away from her.

I roll my eyes in disgust. Throwing my head back, I down the rest of my drink, making another face as the tequila stings the back of my throat. I grab my purse and when I glance back to my left, I see that Noah and his new little friend are gone. I don’t know why it bothers me so much but it does.

I call out goodbye to Dex as I slip off of the barstool and head towards the exit. Pushing through the doors, I step outside and stifle a laugh at the sight in front of me. Noah is standing there, his green eyes wide and a frightened look on his face, as his little friend from inside is practically trying to climb up his body. I shake my head and turn to walk towards my flat.

Caroline! Caroline, wait a minute!

I turn around and see Noah unclasping the brunette’s arms from his neck. He says something to her and she relents, putting her feet back on the ground and smoothing her hands over her short, skintight black dress. Noah runs up to where I am standing and stops in front of me. He shoves his hands in his pockets and rocks back on his heels.

Hello Caroline.

Hello Noah.

Can I walk you home?

I let out an annoyed laugh and shake my head. That is the most you have said to me in months. You have practically ignored me and now you want to walk me home?

It’s late and a beautiful woman such as you should be escorted home to thwart off anyone lurking in dark corners. It’s only proper.

Proper? If you want to be a proper gentleman, you could start by being honest. You’re only using me to get away from that girl.

Noah hesitates and I turn to continue walking towards my flat. Seconds later, Noah falls into stride beside me and drapes his arm across my shoulder. My heart rate speeds up and I fight the urge to wrap my arms around his waist. Even after jumping around on a stage and sweating for an hour, he still smells incredibly good...all spicy and manly...and I have always felt something stir deep inside of me just from being in close proximity to him.

You’re right and I apologize. Let me make it up to you. Can I take you out to dinner tomorrow night?

I don’t respond to him until we reach the steps to my building, and even then I don’t say anything right away. I turn to look at him, and though I try hard not to do it, my eyes wander up his body, taking in every inch of his six foot four frame. My gaze lands on his face and my cheeks burn with embarrassment as I see the dopey grin he is wearing, because I know he has just caught me checking him out.

I’m not going to sleep with you. I say matter-of-factly.

Did I ask you too? he laughs. It’s just dinner Caroline...C’mon. You know you want to say yes.

That was the problem. I did want to say yes. I mean, who in their right mind would turn down the opportunity to have dinner with Noah Walker? It wasn’t just dinner I wanted to say yes to though. I may have told him I wasn’t going to sleep with him but I haven’t had sex in a long time and I have had one too many daydreams of what it would be like to be on top of him, underneath him and wrapped around him.

It doesn’t help that I know what he looks like underneath his faded Ramones t-shirt. There was this one day over summer when a group of us went to the beach together. Noah peeled his shirt off and I thought I was going to spontaneously combust at the sight of his body. He isn’t bulging with muscles but, oh my heavens, that boy is seriously ripped in all the right places. If I could go back to that day, I wouldn’t hesitate to spill something, anything, on him just so that I had the opportunity to lick it off.

It’s just dinner Caroline, he repeats, pulling me away from my thoughts. We can go to The Decantery. You like that place right?

Uh, yeah I do but you don’t strike me as much of a wine drinker. I say, trying my hardest to gather my bearings.

Noah laughs. I’m not but I would like to take you somewhere you like and if that means I have to act all hoity toity for one night, then I’ll do it.

I don’t think I’d be able to stand you if you acted like someone you’re not, even if it was only for one night. We don’t have to go anywhere expensive. I could just as easily go for a good burger and some onion rings.

If burgers and onion rings are what you want, I know this place over on Baker...

Piper’s Tavern? I ask, cutting him off.

Yes! They have the best burgers ever!

They have the best food ever! I agree.

So...is that a yes then? Noah asks as a slow smile creeps onto his face.

Yes, I would like to have dinner with you tomorrow night.

Alright then, I’ll pick you up at seven thirty?

I’ll see you then. I say, giving him a nod before turning to walk up the steps.

I can’t wipe the smile off of my face, even though I feel nervous at the same time. I haven’t been out one on one with a guy, as a date or as friends, since Adam and I broke up. I know the things he said aren’t true but you can only be told something negative so many times before it becomes silently etched onto your soul.

Noah is different though. He isn’t Adam. He wouldn’t tell a woman she was worthless, of course I never would have thought Adam, whom I had known since we were kids, would be that kind of a guy either.

I’m going to put Adam and all of his negativity and bad juju behind me and I am going to have a damn good time tomorrow night because I deserve it. I deserve to have a good time and Noah is decent company to have around. If anything, he’s good for a few laughs...and he’s nice to look at so...there’s always that.

Chapter Two – Noah

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Caroline Ashby...my god she is hot. She’s not just hot, she’s hot and she doesn’t know it, or maybe she does know it and she’s just that reserved and down to earth. Whatever it is, it makes her hotness factor go up even higher.

I met her a couple of months ago through Abby. She instantly caught my attention and I haven’t been able to shake her from my head ever since. I’ve wanted to ask her out so many times but the problem is that first dates will often lead to one of two things – a one night stand or a relationship. The fact that we hang out with the same people, I can pretty much cross her off of the one night stand list and as for relationships, well...I’m just not that guy.

There was a period of time when we first met where we were spending a decent amount of time together, although it was always with other people. I started to get urges to do little things like wrap my arms around her for no reason or touch her arm just for the sake of being able to feel her soft, silky skin. That is when I realized I had to back off a bit. I did not want to wind up hurting her. So I started ignoring her, barely saying anything other than hello. I am sure it did hurt her feelings a bit but I had to do it. It’s better for her in the long run.

It seems to be working pretty well when she is not around but she is almost always around. She and Abby are practically joined at the hip and she comes to all of our shows. I could probably have her banned but I don’t really want to be a jerk about it. It’s not her fault that every time I see her I wonder what it would be like to have her underneath me, hot and sweaty as she screams out my name.

My stay away from Caroline plan blew up in my face last night when she called me out for using the excuse of wanting to be polite and walk her home as a way for getting rid of Carly or Kelly or whatever her name was. I should have just let her walk away when she did but I didn’t. Instead, I ran after her like a lost puppy and asked her to dinner.

At first I thought maybe I had gone mad but then I realized maybe I was just brilliant. I tried staying away from her in hopes that maybe the feelings of lust and longing I had for her would go away and they didn’t. By going out with her tonight, I can do things like look at her, touch her, or kiss her without having to chastise myself. Tonight could either be the best thing to get her out of my system or the biggest mistake of my life. Either way, I am currently sitting across the table from one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen.

Okay, Caroline says in between bites of her burger. Tell me something that no one knows about you.

I furrow my brow and think for a moment. There isn’t too much about me that people don’t know. I snap my fingers and point one of them up towards the ceiling as I realize the one thing that no one, except possibly Tyler, knows about me. Got it...I know just about everything there is to know about astronomy.

Her eyes widen with surprise. That’s probably the reaction I would get from most people. I’m pretty sure most people think of me as an idiot with a microphone that sprouted up from the dodgy end of town. I think that’s the general stigma for guys in bands though; that we’re all a bunch of uneducated heathens that ended up forming a band because we didn’t have the motivation to do anything else with our lives or something.

Didn’t expect that did you? I ask with a chuckle.

Not in the slightest.

People usually assume that, because I am in a band, I either didn’t go to university or I have a degree in music. The truth is I spent a lot of time singing for fun. I never expected to actually have any sort of a career as a singer. Now it is the only thing I want to do. I love being on stage. I love writing songs and I love performing more than anything. Most people would probably be surprised to know that I have a degree in Planetary Science and Astronomy.

Caroline cocks her head to the side and her eyebrow wrinkles. If you have a degree in Planetary Science and Astronomy, then how is it possible that no one, aside from Tyler, knows how knowledgeable you are on astronomy?

Well, people know about my degree, of course, but they don’t know the extent of how passionate I am about it. I can easily point out the majority of the constellations without a telescope or planisphere. I’ve studied with great enthusiasm every space mission and shuttle launch, not just in the UK, but around the world. I once went to a costume party when I was seven dressed up as Galileo. She laughs, a light, airy laugh, and it brings a smile to my face. I’m serious. I wore this costume I found in the dress up bin at a church that looked as though it came straight out of a Shakespearean play. I carried around a cardboard tube that I wrote ‘telescope’ on the side of and I spent the entire evening spouting out astronomy fun facts to anyone that even remotely glanced my way. It’s amazing I didn’t get beat up!

Her laughter dies out and she takes a sip of her water. So, how did you get so interested in astronomy?

I take a deep breath and part of me regrets mentioning my love of astronomy to her. I don’t know how to explain it without divulging my past, which is something I do not discuss with anyone, especially not girls like Caroline.

"Growing up...I didn’t have the best childhood. My parents fought constantly – verbally and physically. I didn’t have any siblings at that point, not that I speak to the ones I do have now, so I was basically on my own. When the fighting would start, which was a nightly occurrence, I would climb out of my window, lie on the roof and look up at the stars, tracing the shapes of the constellations with my fingers and watching the night sky change throughout the year. It was the only thing that kept me sane, the only bit