Keepers at Home: The Love Journey

By Anne Sheppard K.

My husband and I have come a long way since we got married. We had no idea what we were in for. Im sure our marriage would have been voted one of the most unlikely to succeed. Yet through the years, we have seen the strongest marriages crumble, and we are still chugging along. Why?

This book will reveal to you how the Lord intends not only our marriage relationships to work, but family and church as well. We need to be growing in Gods kingdom ways of not being accepted because we meet certain standards and fulfill various obligations. The only true, unconditional acceptance comes from the love given, not earned. And it is this love that begins the healing: transforming a person into the splendor God created them to be. Marriages and relationships dont end because of what someone has or hasnt done. They end when one person quits.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Aug 16, 2012
• ISBN: 9781449761615

Anne Sheppard K.

Anne Sheppard Kovar studied as a research assistant in the field of geochemistry and mathematics during undergraduate and graduate school. Following publication of a master’s thesis in a related field, Anne’s life took a dramatic turn after a direct encounter with the Lord. The education and training in research of scientific data shifted to study and evaluation of biblical truth. After marriage, she and her husband encountered severe problems, forcing them to seek help. They have received counseling from huge nationwide organizations down to local professionals and have acquired an incredible library from all the counselors, conferences, seminars, and treatment centers over the last thirty-five years. With so many other marriages falling apart all around them, Anne decided to assimilate and make available the Biblical steps to personal growth in the kingdom and a lasting and happy marriage. Today Anne continues study and writing and serves as accounting administrator for an international consolidating agency.

Book preview

Keepers

at Home

The Love Journey

Anne Sheppard K.

logoBlackwTN.ai

Copyright © 2012 by Anne Sheppard K.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Scriptures are taken from THE NEW KING JAMES VERSION, Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.

WestBow Press books may be ordered through booksellers or by contacting:

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.westbowpress.com

1-[phone]

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-4497-6160-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4497-6161-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012913664

WestBow Press rev. date: 08/13/2012

Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1      The Roadmap to Love

Chapter 2      The Journey Begins

Chapter 3      Who’s The Boss

Chapter 4      How Do I Feel—Really?

Chapter 5      The Rubber Meets the Road

Chapter 6      Who, Me?

Chapter 7      But It’s Not My Fault!

Chapter 8      Okay, You Win

Chapter 9      How Sweet It Is

Chapter 10      Together Forever

" . . . that they(the older women) may teach

the young women to be sober, to love their

husbands, to love their children, to be

discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good,

obedient to their own husbands, that the

word of God be not blasphemed."

Titus 2:4-5(KJV)

"Loving means to love that which is

unlovable or it is no virtue at all; forgiving

means to pardon the unpardonable, or it is

no virtue at all; faith means believing the

unbelievable, or it is no virtue at all. And to

hope means hoping when things are

hopeless, or it is no virtue at all."

G. K. Chesterton

Introduction

Just recently a dear friend was telling me about her granddaughter in the process of divorce and her legal battle for child support of their three kids. I can picture the pain of the situation. And a new neighbor next door—sharing she has just gotten divorced and her kids now face the struggle of not having their Dad around much. Just the other day a magazine had on the cover about increase in divorce among those over fifty years old. At prayer, one woman shared there are many troubled marriages in our church and another one shared knowing of this being the case in many of the churches in our area.

Boy, how I would like to help a lot of these women who are bailing out of their marriage. Maybe you’re one of them. Perhaps someone close to you is struggling. Our marriage has led us to discover some tools that have enabled us to navigate through some pretty deep waters. I can relate to what so many of these women struggle with. So I have taken upon myself the task of trying to share the ways I have learned leading me forward on the journey to true love and a lasting marriage.

The sad truth is many women have been led astray by the wiles of very subtle and deceptive spiritual forces. These forces entice us to first become as attractive and as successful as possible. We base who we are on this. We have been seduced with the message that we are neat and desirable if we have bigger bust lines, wear revealing clothes to show off breast implants that we spend a hefty penny on, and are led to believe we are a better person if we are sexually free. We seem to have fallen for it hook, line, and sinker. Umpteen examples come to my mind of magazine covers, articles, TV programs, fashions, commercials, songs, and books reflecting this standard. Mary Pride points out this tendency in her book, The Way Home:

Today’s women are the victims of the second biggest con game in history. (The first was when the serpent persuaded Eve she needed to upgrade her lifestyle and ‘become like God.’) . . . Women’s magazines follow in the footsteps of Playboy and Hustler, degrading us to the level of unpaid prostitutes by glamorizing uncommitted sex.(1)

It became clear with the Marilyn Monroe tragedy that the dumb blonde, even though sexy, still didn’t find happiness in the height of being sexually hot. As time went on it seemed as if the real winning ticket was to be intelligent as well. Being a high powered career woman coupled with sex: that must be the way to find love and acceptance. Once we achieve success in a career, these destructive powers whisper to us that we are better than our husbands. We judge them and look down on them. This dynamic has been around for a long time but has escalated because now we have been duped into the thinking that our worth, and therefore other’s worth, is based on successful performance.

If we fall for these, the stage is set for the final blow. Where possible, the great marriage destroyer tries to find a way to woo us to another man who we are soul mates with or who we think as so much better than our husband. The falling in love god is worshipped in our society and its power is as addicting and destructive as gambling, drinking, and drugs. A great depiction of this was given in the movie Mrs. Doubtfire where the wife has moved up the social ladder and discovered the man of her dreams in Pierce Brosnan. Women who have succumbed to these deceptions most likely are not interested in their marriage any longer or keeping their wedding vows. At this point deception escalates by offering all the reasons it is right and needful to end the marriage and even makes the effort to convince us that it would be wrong to continue in the marriage.

If we have fallen into some of these things, it will be very difficult to tell what is true and what is false. What is the truth? That question was asked millenniums ago by Pilate when Jesus stood before him and many have sought to find it throughout the ages. Those of us who have been born again of the Spirit of God through Jesus believe He is the truth according to His own testimony: I am the way, the truth, and the life. (John 14:6) The truth of Jesus is that God is love and we are to love and forgive even those who hate, curse, and despitefully use us. Love Journey will explore what is truth in our relationships and what is deception.

It all boils down to our need to be loved just as I am: no matter how good, bad or ugly we may be. Without it, we become deformed in our soul, just as the body does without food. Where does this need come from? The Bible tells us that we are made in the image of God. (Genesis 1:27) It further reveals God is Love. (1 John 4:8) By simple logic this means that we are made in the image of Love. We are vessels created to contain Love in the same way the body must have blood. Just as the blood is the life of the body, so Love is the life of the soul. Drain the blood from the body and you are left with an empty shell. Deprive Love from our being and, likewise, you are left with only the trappings: nobody home.

Our bodies come equipped with all the blood we need. It came with the package. If we have a parent, friend, or stranger who cuts our wrist, we are in trouble. But even so, if a doctor sews it up, the body will go about making new blood. Just like when you give blood, you get it back. God made it that way. When our souls have holes punched in them, when others have sucked the Love out of us; how do the holes get plugged and the Love we desperately need get regenerated? Gary Smalley in his book Joy That Lasts talked with his son when struggling over a painful relationship issue:

"‘It’s like my life is a cup, and until recently it was filled with joy and peace and love. But lately a big hole has been drilled in it and all the life has drained out. Instead of joy filling my cup, anger and fear and hurt feelings have taken its place.’ . . .

For the first time I began to realize my major mistake: I was expecting to find fulfillment in people, places, possessions, and position.(2)

Many painful life experiences, plus exploring numerous resources over the last thirty plus years, lead me to the following conclusion. The only true Love that will meet my deepest need is the fruit of a journey that takes place within the Kingdom of God. I hope in this book to share many of those experiences and resources in order to encourage others to take this path or to not give up if they are already on it. To travel on the pathway of a life of true Love first requires entering into the Kingdom.

The Kingdom of God is a realm in which God lives and rules. You enter the Kingdom when you are born into it just the same as you came into this earthly kingdom when you were born. The Bible says you must be born again of the Spirit of God to see the Kingdom of God. (John 3:3) How? The Bible tells us basically that our spirits were killed by sin: the wages of sin is death. (Romans 6:23) To get rid of that sin, something has to filter it out of us. Sort of like if you have dirty water, you need to filter out the gunk to get pure water to drink. The dirty water will make you sick, like so many in Africa. The clean water will bring life. Jesus taught that He is that filter: God’s gift of life to take away our sin. When we are born into this Kingdom by repenting and confessing our sins and receiving forgiveness through Jesus, we become a new creation (Romans 5:17) full of God’s Spirit of power, love, and a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7)

For many of you these things will not be new, but just in case someone ever reads this who is not spiritually born, I invite you to open up the door of your heart and talk to Jesus who is waiting there for you to come to Him. Tell it like it is to Him, ask His forgiveness, and invite Him to come into your life and bring you into His Kingdom. Simply talk to Him, confess to Him your sins, ask His forgiveness, give Him your life. It can be as simple as the thief on the cross next to Him who asked Jesus to remember him when he came into His kingdom. Jesus assured him he would be with Him that day in paradise. (Luke 23:42-43)

Once you set out, the journey of Love will be an adventure like the Hobbit’s in Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings. There will be lots of pain, frightening encounters, and loss of