"Two Million Mile Drive"

By Bob Garber

Come along on a drive all over
the country, fifty-five years in show business with 160 true stories that just
dont happen to real people. These are all stories that happened to a performer
who never gave up. This book will take you from age two, to present, 67 years
later. Stories about Night Clubs, Gangsters, Burlesque, Exotic Dancers, Supper
Clubs, years of Military Clubs, Agents, Musicians (the Table Of
Contents is five pages long). An easy read, all the
stories are short.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Nov 26, 2003
• ISBN: 9781414021188

Bob Garber

For the most part, Bob Garber has made his livelyhood in show business. Starting in neighbors living rooms in 1946, to having his own national revue. When everyone else had to quit and get a day job, Bob just changed direction. Today he sings for the Senior’s nationally.  

Book preview

Two Million Mile Drive

by

Bob Garber

© 2013 by Bob Garber. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

ISBN: 978-1-4140-2117-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4140-2639-8 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4140-2118-8 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only. Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

This book is printed on acid-free paper.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid.

The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

1st Books-rev. 1/29/13

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Two Million Mile Drive

Maine

Singing In 1936

The Barn

Bob The Boy Wonder

Thanks Wernersville

Atlantic City

My First Agent

Luden’s

Bingo

The Stripper

North Beach, Maryland

Mitsdaufer Theatrical Agency

Novelty Acts

Foreign Acts

It Happened To Kathy

Pittsburgh, 1957

Sear-Ro The Clown

Where Is The Dancer?

Meadeville, Pa

Kenmore Hotel Auburn, Maine

Blue Moon Gardens

Gangsters

Valley Falls, Rhode Island

Burlesque

The Supper Club

Mars

Philadelphia

Bad Bands

Bad Audiences

Doing Comedy

Fitchburg

Niagara Falls

Montgomery, Alabama

Lodging

Show Mix-Ups

Kathy’s Costume

Snow

Highway Closed

Blow-Off Show

About The Agents

The Agent Drives

Agent’s Tricks

More Agent’s Tricks

Long Jumps

Moving Day

Car Repairs

By The Lake

After Hour Clubs

Santa Claus

Thunderbird, Colorado Springs

Kathy Got Angry

Harrisonburg

Dressing Rooms

My Own Revue In 1965

Show Business

We Were Busy

My First Band

Kirk Takes A Business Trip With Me

Got’cha

Phil And Clair

Bits And Pieces

This Is Not Good

Crossroads Club Near Washington, D.C.

Don’t Know What I Was Thinking (...When I Booked This Week.)

1971

Myrna And Kim

Staying At Myrna’s

Adagio

Too Popular

Don’t Need Coffee

Get Your Pictures Here

Too Much Money

About The Musicians

Wichita Falls

Texas-Oklahoma Line

The Day Sheet

Topeka

Topeka, Kansas

Heart Attack At Fort Mac

Hays

Went Home Fast

Bruno Of Hollywood

Don’t Steal

Jacksonville, Florida

Gary, The Trumpet Player

Orlando, Florida

First Date With Cheri

Underground Atlanta

Puerto Rico

Car Trouble

Beach Towns

Lost Duke

Oh, Duke

Ridiculous

Oberlin, Kansas

Tucumcari, New Mexico

Snow-West

Trusting

Male Strippers

Audience Drinking

After The Show

A Western Tour 1967

Show Business

Camp Lejeune, North Carolina Good For The Bad Bad For The Good

The Mixups Band

The Mixups It’s All Over Quick

Elvis Presley’s Girlfriend

I’m Stuck

Florida-1966 Hair-Gone

Almost Too Many Shows

Traveling Cats

Robbery In Mind

Robbery In Macon

Too Much Success

Showtime With The Clown

Monterey, Mexico

Oklahoma City

Breakfast With Julian

Big Shots

Make-Up

A Connoisseur

Long Drive To Pick Up An Act

Sun Lamp

A Few Extras

Big Thinker

2003

Bob Garber’s Sentimental Journey (1998: Schedule Excerpt)

Rich Or Poor

About The Author

This book

is dedicated

to

Lilly,

who started it all

MAINE

It’s Maine, 1958. I’m performing at the hotel next to the train station. Haven’t seen my car since I arrived here. That’s the way it is in winter; you can see the pile of snow, my car is under it.

We have another big snow coming in tonight. The owner of the hotel gave Len, the bandleader, a room because of the weather. During that evening, some drummer and this girl show up. Len gives the drummer his key to use his room.

Let me tell you how the evening ends up. Len is parading everyone [has a lineup of people] through his room. There is the drummer and this girl-both are on the bed naked. She has one leg on the bed and one leg off with her foot on the floor. The drummer is wearing a Snoopy pilot cap [snapped under his chin], completed by wearing flight goggles and a DO NOT DISTURB sign hanging over his dick. [I’m sure Len had added the sign]

Later, at the same hotel:

A young woman arrives by train, phones her husband, in a neighboring town to come pick her up. Before the husband can get there to pick his wife up, the hotel owner gets some drinks in her and takes her upstairs.. .A Wild Place.

SINGING IN 1936

At two, mother already had me singing. First song I ever learned was When I Grow Too Old to Dream. At the bridge of the song there is a line, ‘so kiss my sweet but I sang, ‘ so kiss my feet-all the relatives laughed at me. It’s uncanny, now, singing that song for my retired seniors.

When we were visiting relatives, always had to sing a song before we would go home. Guess that’s where this all started; was in the choir and shows in school. They had some program for kids on the radio; I sang on that.

When we moved to Wernersville in 1939, the economy was still real bad. My parents bought our house for $2,200. They both worked for years to pay for it. We had no bathroom and toilet in the house, had a little house out in the back yard [it was a two-seater-a board with two holes in it]. Dad had a Coca-Cola calendar on the wall.

The heat in the house was a Heatrola [wood or coal] in the living room. The heat upstairs was a potbelly stove in my grandmother’s room. Winter, would wakeup and have to get dressed in front of that stove. If you are old enough, who can forget the Saturday night bath, in a galvanized tub, up on the kitchen table!

THE BARN

It’s 1944—I’m ten and a big time producer! We had a barn in the back yard. Upstairs [in the barn] there was a raised area. This was our stage. An old pole was suspended straight across the stage. We hung a couple of blankets over the pole, pinned them with big safety pins and this was our curtain. Used wooden orange crates for seats for the audience.

My father had a glass candy case stored up there. We shined it up, went to the grocery store and bought candy. Candy bought at two for a penny, we sold them a penny each and nickel candy bars, we sold them for seven cents each. Mother made lemonade. We sold that, too. Every time I had a show, would go around town and gather my audience. Charged them five cents to get in. The only thing I don’t remember is what we did for a show. I’m sure it wasn’t much.

About the candy case, from when I was born, my dad had a small store with a couple of gasoline pumps out front. Mother always ran the store while dad worked in the factory [he was a flash welder]. Growing up, if there was some little girl that I liked, we could always go the candy case for a treat.

Image305.JPG

Actual photo made in 1957 of the Barn. Still standing today. I believe a strong wind would take it down.

Every Saturday my parents took me to a vaudeville show in Reading [this was about 1946 when vaudeville was supposed to be dead by then]. I saw: The Three Stooges, Lionel Hampton, and Mel Torme [when Mel was seventeen he was the Velvet Fog]. They had comics as well as novelty acts-I loved it!

The same year, bought a Gilbert Magic set for two dollars. It had ten tricks, a magic wand, and a little beard. I was hooked!

I had seen a store in West Reading; the sign read: Mingus Magic Shop. Pested my dad to take me there. He said, Next Saturday. Didn’t wait till next Saturday-hitchhiked down there and bought a magic trick for a dollar-had to hide it in the barn for a few days.

The neighbors asked me to come over and do my magic. They had some people visiting. After the show, they passed the hat. I went home and counted my money-57 cents! Thought, There’s money in this.

Bob the Boy Wonder

I became Bob the Boy Wonder. Was "magic crazy’. Any little money earned went into buying more magic tricks. Went around town and did my shows from house to house.

Didn’t have a price