Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Santa's Super Helpers

By Scott Gordon

SECRET AGENT DISCO DANCER has a super-sized problem. He forgot to give Santa his wish list, and faces the real possibility that his kids might not get any Christmas presents when the joyous day rolls around.

SANTA CLAUS is nowhere to be found, and there don't appear to be any flights in or out of the North Pole. Traveling to the frozen wasteland might offer some clues...if one could get there...

GRUBER, Black Eagle's most junior member, has been instructed to keep a certain crazy frog away from the experimental rocket packs and (most importantly) the annual Twinkie supply.

"But it's Christmas," Secret Agent Disco Dancer tells Gruber. "What harm could there be in taking one of the rocket packs for a spin?"

Approximately 18,500 words, 40+ pieces of artwork and easily the craziest Secret Agent Disco Dancer adventure yet!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Scott Gordon
• Release date: May 31, 2018
• ISBN: 9781386390053

Scott Gordon

Scott Gordon is a successful children's book author, with over two hundred books to his credit. He also writes science fiction, fantasy and horror under the pen name S.E. Gordon.

Book preview

Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Santa's Super Helpers by Scott GordonFredrico Frillyfoam

Secret Agent Disco Dancer

Santa's Super Helpers

Scott Gordon

My Crazy Pet Frog Reading Order

Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Green Eggs and a Side of Earnest Bacon

Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Double Agent Orangegrove

Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Was It The Lobster Bisque?

Secret Agent Disco Dancer: The Last Ding Dong on Earth

Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Did Somebody Say Pizza?

Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Frosted Flake

Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Was It The Tira Misu?

Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Government Issue (Coming Soon!)

My Crazy Pet Frog: I Gave My Pizza A Spanking

My Crazy Pet Frog (The original picture book!)

Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Santa's Super Helpers

My Crazy Pet Frog: The Nightmare Pizza Before Christmas

Secret Agent Disco Dancer: You Don't Know Jack

Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Soccer Star

Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Burger Blues

© 2017 Scott Gordon. All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form (electronic, mechanical or otherwise) without the express written consent of the author.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locations or persons living or dead is entirely coincidental.

E-book layout, formatting and design by Scott Gordon.

Written, edited and produced in the United States of America. Scott Gordon is proud to represent beautiful Orlando, Florida.

Image(s) licensed by DepositPhotos.com and © Marina Anokhina (#21190413), Alexandr Shirokov (#43772971), Oleksandr Moroz (#29929995), Julien Tromeur (#4370818, #53644745, #6059444, #6584278, #76945239, #41945641, #169961484, #6418029, #66171693, #4371390, #35635291, #4371381, #129297974), Olekcii Mach (#151300086), Дмитрий Мизинцев (#9893179), Michael Osterrieder (#28011259), Jacek Jędrzejowski (#91648458, #91648328, #91648332), Teguh Mujiono (#83642136), Olga Yastremska (#26604995), Yuri Karelin (#82080168, #82077766, #54399265, #53521025), George Nazlis (#122802924), Oleg Zhevelev (#3638719), Satomi Yanai (#74483289), Roberto Rizzo (#16324867), Santosh Chavan (#13757058), Eric Isselée (#173172084, #10873103), Evgenii Naumov (#111920204) and Lukas Gojda (#57353853). Extended licenses provided by Dreamstime Stock Photos and Deposit Photos. Black and white frog illustration(s) by Alfredo Intoci. Outrageous ads by Wallock Art.

First Edition (v1.0)

Published on November 28, 2017

Last updated on September 10, 2018

ISBN-13: 9781386390053

Mailing List: http://eepurl.com/TFW3r

Support Me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/scottgordon

Table of Contents

Table of Contents

Title Page

Also by Scott Gordon

Copyright

Dedication

Cast

Chapter 1: Extra Crispy

Chapter 2: Flight Plan

Chapter 3: Gadget

Chapter 4: Security Hole

Ad #1

Chapter 5: Family Feud

Chapter 6: Beastly

Chapter 7: Great Googley Moogley

Chapter 8: Plausible Deniability

Ad #2

Chapter 9: Fishsicle

Chapter 10: Busted

Chapter 11: Frog Legs

Chapter 12: Surfin’ U.S.A.

Ad #3

Chapter 13: Signature Smell

Chapter 14: Sergey

Chapter 15: Brotherly Love

Chapter 16: Mompops

Chapter 17: Super Size Me

Chapter 18: A Basket Full of Offerings

Chapter 19: Technical Support

Chapter 20: Executive Decision

Chapter 21: Good Vibrations

Chapter 22: Doomed

Chapter 23: Loaner

Chapter 24: Cookies and Dragonfire

Ad #4

Chapter 25: Star

Chapter 26: Stinger

Chapter 27: No Quiero

Chapter 28: Father Frost, II

Chapter 29: The Gift

Chapter 30: And a Merry Christmas for All

About This Series

Series Guide

The End?

Taco Bell Disclaimer

Domino’s Pizza Disclaimer

President Trump Disclaimer

Product Description

Excerpt: The Nightmare Pizza Before Christmas

About the Author

More Fun Picture Books

Ad 1: My Crazy Pet Frog: The Nightmare Pizza Before Christmas

Ad 2: The Forgetful Alien

Ad 3: Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Burger Blues

Thank You!

Support Me on Patreon

For Sergey.

Secret Agent Disco DancerChapter 1: Extra Crispy

Chapter 1: Extra Crispy

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the top secret government black ops field office, not a creature was stirring except for a diabolical pig with devious designs on taking over the world and other self-serving plans, a crazy disco dancing frog, and, well, the entire I.T. staff...

I can’t believe they’re having us work on Christmas Eve. Secret Agent Disco Dancer propped up his feet on the desk and leaned back in his chair.

Yeah, tell me about it, said Gruber, a twelve-year old genius and the youngest agent ever to work for Black Eagle. His glasses looked like the bottoms of Coke bottles, his hair short, straight, and spiky. Although it was cold out, he wore shorts. Even Secret Agent Disco Dancer couldn’t believe his boss, the brown Andalusian Special Agent Halfwitz, let him get away with it.

Gruber rolled up his diagrams, which detailed where to add additional firewalls and other security measures to make the network impervious to outside hackers, and slid them into a long cardboard tube.

Don’t you know? Evil never rests. And, well...it’s not like you numbskulls were doing anything, anyways. Earnest T. Bacon, the T undoubtedly for Trouble, stepped into the frog’s office with a present in hand--a black bow over black wrapping paper.

If I had my Firetoad clearance, I’d be more useful. Secret Agent Disco Dancer sat up straight. "It’s crazy, really. Even though I have a direct line to the president, I can’t read my own memos--even from missions that I took part in!"

Need-to-know, froggy woggy, need-to-know. And it’s better that you don’t know anything. Not that you do, anyways. Earnest coughed, surprised at the venom coming out of his mouth that eve. Although it pains me to say this: Merry Christmas, Secret Agent Disco Dancer. You survived your first year, which is longer than I ever thought you’d last. For that, you deserve a reward. The pig set the gift down carefully on the desk.

Really? I don’t know what to say...

Well, if I were in the Christmas spirit, I’d say don’t open it, Earnest thought to himself and grinned.

That’s not fair. I didn’t get you anything, said the frog.

There’s always next Christmas, Earnest smirked as he said it. He walked away as fast as his short, little legs could carry him, hoping Secret Agent Disco Dancer did not hear the ticking coming from inside the package.

Wow, that’s nice of him. Is that the same pig? Gruber peeked down the hallway at the fleeing swine, then back at the gift. So what do you think it is?

Oh, it’s a bomb, of course. Say, can you hand me that jar? Secret Agent Disco Dancer pointed to a glass jar filled to the brim with popcorn kernels.

Sure. Gruber fetched it for him and readjusted his glasses.

"As they always say, when