Dementia-13 Part-2

By B.P. Kasik

BEHOLD, at long last- a sequel to the classic film "Dementia-13"! REEL IN HORROR at shock after shock as the Irish axe murders begin again at Haloran Castle! LAUGH HELPLESSLY at this satiric sequel, a cross between Monty Python and Gothic horror!

• Language: English
• Publisher: B.P. Kasik
• Release date: Mar 12, 2018
• ISBN: 9781370392285

B.P. Kasik

B.P. Kasik is the author of dozens of humor, horror, YA, mystery, fantasy, and/or science fiction books. Has a wife and kids. Is on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and a blog somewhere. Also known as “Phony McFakename.” Thinks about you every now and then. Hopes you’re doing well.

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INTRODUCTION

There is a drastic shortage of Dementia-13 fan fiction out there.

People adore this movie and it’s in the public domain, so there’s no artistic or legal reason not to play in that lush Gothic sandbox!

Now this is not the most traditional of sequels.

This is a sequel in much the same way Evil Dead 2 was a sequel to Evil Dead.

Think of this as a Gothic horror story filtered through a Monty Python sensibility.

Why did I do it that way? Well...why not?

Dementia-13 is a fantastic mini-miracle of a movie. To know it is to love it. Its $42,000 budget is the best $42,000 ever spent. The list of names associated with it is a checklist of awesomeness: Roger Corman, Francis Ford Coppola, Jack Hill, Monte Hellman, Patrick Magee.

It was originally released as the b-movie on a double-feature with X: The Man with the X-Ray Eyes. But it’s way more than just some b-movie.

It’s demented lightning in a bottle.

And it’s about time that we all learn what happened to the nice folks in this bottle-lightning story after the credits rolled.

Enjoy!

Oh, but before we begin, we must conduct a D-13-2 Test on you to see if you’re psychologically stable enough to read this book:

Do you like William Castle-esque gimmicks?

a) Yes

b) No

Do you like to read books?

a) Yes

b) No

c) What’s a book?

Did you know Francis Ford Coppola actually directed two other nudie movies before Dementia-13?

a) Yes

b) No

c) What’s a movie?

Is murdering people by axe a nice thing to do?

a) Yes

b) No

c) It depends…

Is Roger Corman the best producer ever?

a) Yes

b) Yes

Is Patrick Magee the best actor ever?

a) Yes

b) Yes

Can your brain stand the shattering impact of shock after shock?

a) Yes

b) No

c) What’s a brain?

If you answered with mostly c’s or b’s or a’s...then you may just be able to handle this book!

PROLOGUE

To get us all up to speed, shall we review what happened in Dementia-13? Yes, we shall.

And let’s spoil the twist ending first: Billy’s the killer.

We start with a greedy young woman, Louise Haloran, learning that her creepy husband’s family is loaded but is leaving all their money to charity in honor of Kathleen.

And then her creepy hubby, John, dies of a heart attack.

It was an accidental death, but Louise thinks fast and dumps John’s body in a pond and lies about him going out of town so she can enjoy her visit at his rich family’s Irish castle solo.

And it’s a weird castle.

Louise’s secretly-deceased husband has two brothers, Billy and Richard, and a mother, Lady Haloran. The mother is a grief-stricken mess since her daughter, Kathleen, died many years back. Richard is a moody red herring. Billy is racked with guilt over Kathleen’s drowning (and he’s the killer).

A nice lady named Kane joins them at the castle and she just wants to marry Richard and move on with life. (Also she wants to have fun, as all girls just wanna do.)

Louise watches them conduct a strange grave-circling ritual in honor of Kathleen. Lady Haloran faints at the end of it, like she always does.

The whole family is a mess.

And Louise sees this mess as an opportunity to worm her way into Lady Haloran’s mind (and wallet) and convince her that Kathleen’s ghost is trying to contact her.

In the middle of the night, Louise scuba-dives down and sticks Kathleen’s toys in a pond to set them up to rise to the surface in a creepy way when everyone’s there the next day. (Not a great plan, as I’m not sure how you’d control the exact time they rise up, but I’ll give Louise the benefit of the doubt.)

But while placing these devious props down there, Louise sees Kathleen’s corpse, in near-mint condition! (Even more amazing—she can see clearly at the bottom of a pond in the middle of the night.)

Understandably startled, she surfaces from the water and gets an axe to the head, over and over. (Hey, the conniving main female character gets abruptly and unexpectedly whacked early in the movie, just like in Psycho! I wonder if that had anything to do with producer Roger Corman asking Coppola to make this movie a blatant Psycho rip-off...Maybe?...Nah.)

Dr. Justin Caleb to the rescue! He comes up to the castle and tries to help figure out what’s going on.

Then another random slasher-movie redshirt guy—a poacher named Simon—gets whacked with an axe.

And then Dr. Caleb has the family pond drained with the help of Arthur the groundskeeper—a noted pond-draining expert—and they find a monument at the bottom, with Forgive Me, Kathleen on it.

Suspicious!

Then the axe man cometh again, attacking Lady Haloran while she lollygags in a cabin filled with Kathleen’s stuff. She eludes him.

Dr. Caleb is tired of this nonsense, so he uses the power of a nursery rhyme—Fishie, fishie, in a brook, Daddy caught you on a hook—to track down Louise’s dead body in a meat freezer.

And guess what’s adjacent to her corpse? A wax figure of Kathleen, looking just like the