The Adventures of June Bug Johnson: Growing Up in the Shadows of the Proverbs

By Charlie Crowe

Take a laugh-filled, nostalgic trip to a place where we see the hopeful and dynamic power of common sense. So, grab a glass of sweet tea or lemonade, relax in the shade of your favorite tree and enjoy learning wisdom along with June Bug.

• Language: English
• Publisher: CrossLink Publishing
• Release date: Sep 18, 2017
• ISBN: 9781386772750

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The Adventures of June Bug Johnson

The Adventures of June Bug Johnson

GROWING UP IN THE SHADOWS OF THE PROVERBS

Charlie Crowe

CrossLink Publishing

Copyright © 2017 Charlie Crowe

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed Attention: Permissions Coordinator, at the address below.

CrossLink Publishing

558 E. Castle Pines Pkwy, Ste B4117

Castle Rock, CO 80108

www.crosslinkpublishing.com

Ordering Information:

Quantity sales. Special discounts are available on quantity purchases by corporations, associations, and others. For details, contact the Special Sales Department at the address above.

The Adventures of June Bug Johnson/ Crowe —1st ed.

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All scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, King James Version (Public Domain)

The homespun wisdom and humor of Charlie Crowe’s book The Adventures of June Bug Johnson harkens back to a different age and makes you long for the days when life seemed simpler.

Ted Huskins

Vice- President and Chief Operating Officer

Northern New England Conference

You will fall in love with June Bug and all of the vivid characters that Charlie brings to life in his first novel.

Cindy Carland

President

Coleman Stewardship Services Inc.

Charlie Crowe’s writing pulls me in to the story making me feel a part of the moment.   Charlie paints the picture so I can feel, smell, taste and hear what is happening on the written page.  The stories not only touch me emotionally and spiritually but they also remind me of people and times in my own life when I have had the honor and privilege to be a part of God meeting someone at the point of their greatest need.  June Bug Johnson and Grandpa Lymon will entertain you, comfort you, inspire you and encourage you to keep on moving even in the tough times.  You deserve to be uplifted by this book.

Mike Winsor,

Chaplain, BSW, MM, NACC, Chairman CRM

Good story telling, I could picture the scene clearly in my mind as I read this and it drew me in. The lesson behind the story was well done and right on point. Enjoyed this very much.

Ray Holloway

Operator Chick-fil-a at Archer Rd. Gainesville FL

However the news of the day comes to you, radio, TV, newsprint or streamed, it is mostly depressing. The burden of a day’s activities can be overwhelming. So, a few minutes reading a chapter of The Adventures of June Bug Johnson may be what the Doctor wanted you to have. The stories presented are of a simpler time and place, light-hearted but containing a message needed in today’s world.

Life lessons taught in a way in which they can be enjoyed and appreciated. Try it, I think you might like it.

David Chapman,

Consultant Kairos Legacy Partners

I’ve always thought Charlie was good at telling stories.  Now that I’ve read about June Bug, I know he is!  If you grew up in the American South, you’ll see a bit of yourself in June Bug’s adventures and misadventures, and hopefully, you’ll learn something, too.  

Michael Moebes,

Attorney at Law

Folksy and down home. American by birth, southern by the grace of God. These descriptions and anecdote dovetail perfectly with, The Adventures of June Bug Johnson. I’m usually not much of a reader, but this was surprisingly enjoyable. Maybe it’s because I’m a Southern boy at heart, or maybe it’s just June Bug Johnson is so easy to relate to. Either way, I highly recommend it. Two thumbs up!

Tim Spivey,

Minister High Springs Church of Christ

With a wit akin to Dave Barry, a tone that matches the late Lewis Grizzard, and wisdom similar to Reverend Will B. Dunn, the author tells tales that are clearly close to his heart and his funny bone. The stories will charm the young and young at heart, saints and sinners, and the grumpy and the joyous. Some stories will result in an uncontrollable guffaw, others a sly smile and occasionally, yes even a sentimental tear. This is a book for all who believe in the great beauty of heart and head coming together as one.

Jeff Welch,

Pastor Dunnellon Presbyterian Church

Charlie Crowe’s homespun southern humor makes for a delightful read! The characters from The Adventures of June Bug Johnson offer a good laugh and precious life lessons.

David Welsh,

Senior Minister Franklin Christian Church, Franklin TN

Mr. Crowe’s stories have the appeal and charm of a by–gone era, reminiscent of the safe–yet–quirky world of Mayberry. He is able to miraculously create in readers a nostalgia for a time and place they have most likely never known––no small feat. Much like the writings of Annie Dillard, Mr. Crowe is also able to reveal how the Holy Spirit manifests itself in the mundane and everyday existence where most of us only find sterility and darkness.

DJ DYCUS, PH.D.

PROFESSOR OF ENGLISH AND HUMANITIES

Point University

Mr. Crowe combines wisdom and humor In The Adventures of June Bug Johnson. Each story, fit for a 21st century Book of Virtues, will leave you laughing while being able to relate to the characters in the story. My favorite story was The Worst Whipping in the History of McComb County where young James Worth learns a painful lesion about bad influences but I won’t spoil the ending, read it for yourself.

Abigail Havens

IC2(SW) United States Navy

The Adventures of June Bug Johnson is a fresh new take on Solomon’s classic proverbs. Children and adults alike will be able to take away important life lessons after seeing these Biblical texts through real world lenses. And best of all, my son just thought it was «too much fun!» It is a great addition to any homeschooler›s collection.

Elise Hill,

homeschool mom of three

The Adventures of June Bug Johnson is a wholesome, humorous series of stories that the whole family will adore! Life in the Southern Heartland reminisces of a simpler time when faith and family came first. I look forward to reading and rereading this to my children for years to come.

-Mrs. Ghizzoni,

mother of two

The Adventures of June Bug Johnson Growing up in the Shadow of the Proverbs is a must read! With a modern day twist from wisdom out of the Proverbs that is brought to real life by the experience of a small, back-hills, country boy, this book will have you laughing, crying, and even asking God about your own life all at the same time. 

Reverend Jennifer F. Beagle

Women’s Director, House of Hope 

This book combines classic southern story-telling with Biblical truth. Only the Lord could have foreseen Solomon’s wisdom applied in such a humorous manner in the deep South. You’ll laugh with a purpose as you meet colorful characters with grit, grace, or neither. 

Jim Bob McAllister 

President KEYSYS Inc.

To my grandchildren: Let me tell you a story

To my children: Thank you for making it possible

Hope is the preferred vision of the future.

Nostalgia is the preferred vision of the past.

Contents

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Worst Klan Rally Ever

Leaning in and Falling Back, June Bug Learns About the Fear of God

The Worst Whipping in the History of McComb County

Elias Black Shot the Pig out of the Tree out of the Tree

Mud Splashing: a Sport for Fools and June Bug was the

Champ

You Can’t Drown on a Sandbar

A Shooting at a Funeral

Grandpa Lymon Loves Precious Memories

Cussing in Church

Living Dead Man

Bust ‘em in the Mouth

The Right Hand of Fellowship

How June Bug Got the Nickname Hootie

Who Needs a Key When You Can Use a Hammer?

Catfish Noodling Ain’t a Sin, but It Is not Real Bright Either

How June Bug Married the Prettiest Girl in the County

I Don’t Think You Know What That Means What That Means

Why They Will Never Retire June Bug’s Number ... at Least Not for Football

Why CB and June Bug Stopped Being Friends

June Bug Always Has a Pig Named Lucy

About the Author

Acknowledgments

Lorie: Thank you for being one of the heroes of the story of my life; oh and thanks for your faithful support and help with this project. Without you the stories of June Bug would have never progressed beyond the ramblings of a story teller.

To my family and friends: Thank you for letting me tell you stories, jokes, and painful puns. Hold up a finger for every time you have heard this story.

Introduction

Once upon a time there was a place filled with wonder, amazement, excitement, beauty, fear, adventure, heroic selflessness, and on many occasions, remarkable stupidity. This place was a great place to grow up; this place was called childhood. The problem with childhood is that you have no clue what you are doing or how to do it. Thankfully, God gives us some great guides to help us through the wanderings of youth. Among those guides are our elders, folks who have lived through their own folly and can help us learn from their experiences. When we are young our elders seem so wise and so secure that we feel they could never have made a mistake out of sheer stupidity. But when they were young, they too had a tendency to slip into folly. Because of that, they can tell about their experiences with folly. We can travel back in time by means of the marvel of story.

A story can be a time machine. In a well-told story we are able, at least in our minds, to travel back in time to a place where we have never been. We may not interact with the events, but in our imagination, we can be eyewitnesses to momentous happenings. There is something about hearing a story that makes a person smarter; that is, if we are listening. Some stories are pure history and fact, where everything that is told is an exact representation of the events as they transpired. Sometimes stories are purely made-up. There is not a word about them that actually happened. Some stories are a historic fact with a few interesting exaggerations added to liven it up a bit. We have to tell the truth and nothing but the truth when asked for the truth, but a story, if we know it is a story, we can enjoy for what it is.

In the Bible, we see both history and stories. It is important that we are careful to understand the difference. The Prodigal Son is a story; the Flood of Noah is a history. Generally, it is not too hard to tell the difference. As a guide for wisdom, there is nothing that can compare with the Word of God. Our Father has been around a long time and has seen a lot of history and He has told us more than a few stories. In the book of Proverbs, He has given us a marvelous amalgamation of history and story. Each one of the Proverbs is a little story in itself. If you read the Proverbs with your imagination wide open, you can almost see the events of each story that prompted each Proverb. You get the idea that each time Solomon penned one of the proverbs he was thinking about someone.

The Adventures of June Bug Johnson is these three themes weaving themselves together as a boy learns a little wisdom in a world of folly. All of these stories in these pages have, at their root, a story told to me as true; and all of the stories have been embellished, some a little and some a lot. I did this to add a little flavor to the story and to protect the identity of the characters. I have no intention of telling how much embellishment happened and to which stories. But some folks still living might recognize a flicker of their past. I took a lot of stories, added some made-up details and put them into the life of one fictional character.

These stories are unabashedly and unashamedly nostalgic. But as the saying goes, Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be. We tend to remember the good old days better than they actually were. A friend of mine who grew up during the depression used to say, I clearly remember the good ‘ole days and they were miserable.

Hope has been defined as, our preferred vision of the future, consistent with the noblest aspiration of our faith. We might say that nostalgia is, the preferred vision of our past, reflecting our most cherished values and sentiment. What hope is to the future, nostalgia is to the past. Our memory is not clear, indeed, it is perhaps not very accurate at all; but in nostalgia we are able to see those things that are good, noble and heroic, and heartwarming and winsome. By using a nostalgic lens to view these proverbs, hopefully, it will bring into clear relief what matters in our lives.

In a world that is growing in folly daily, we desperately need to learn the wisdom of the Proverbs. We need to see these as more than ancient sayings, but rather as the story of life. It is my fervent hope that you will see in June Bug’s adventures how