The Touch That Transforms

By Kyle Hamilton Barr

This isn't your typical gay-to-straight conversion story; this is messy, yet glorious.  

• Raw, Authentic, and Inspiring
• A Much Needed Conversation for Today
• A True Display of Masculinity
• Journey fro

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kyle Barr
• Release date: Jul 31, 2023
• ISBN: 9781088229118

Book preview

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The Touch That Transforms

A Personal Journey of Faith, Sexuality, and Healing

Kyle Hamilton Barr

Copyright © 2019 by Kyle Hamilton Barr

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

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Acknowledgments

To Jaye:

You have walked with me through many pivotal and trivial moments of my life. You are the truest definition of what it means to be a friend and brother. I am forever grateful for you and I know that I wouldn’t be the man I am today apart from knowing you. I love you.

To Every Other Brother:

You’ve each played a key part in my life; I’m forever thankful for all the hugs, laughs, conversations, and prayers. I always wished I had a brother (little did I realize that God would give me this many). Keep your love fierce and strong - the world is a better place because of you.

To Others on This Journey:

Don’t give up and don’t believe that you’re alone. God is there with you through every step and He will bring help when in need. It may not always look like how you think or want, but He is faithful and knows what is best. Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus because this alone will strengthen you to finish the race.

Foreword by Benjamin Atkinson

Is it time for us to rethink the word #gay?

Everyone has a story to tell. But only some find the courage to tell the whole story. Kyle has brought you on a journey through the pages of his heart. Here he stands before you, exposed and naked, unashamed of the journey because of his peace — the true peace which can be found only in Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace. This is a story for every parent, every leader, and everyone who has a heart for the next generation. Why? Because Kyle’s story is similar to hundreds of the young people around you.

Certainly, everyone knows of someone struggling with homosexual desires. And for many, this reality strikes close to home. What can we do? The answer may be simpler than you think: hear their story and then serve their practical needs. First, just listen; hear the stories of those walking in a homosexual lifestyle. Within the gay community, there are very few people who have known a Christian to sit down and simply hear their story without preaching (#listentome). In this is Christ’s love. As you listen to their stories, their hearts will be healed, and yours will grow with a compassion rooted in God’s love towards people. Secondly, serve the person that is struggling with homosexuality. Don’t just preach to them; the goal is not to win an argument and prove that you are right. Instead, win them to Christ by being an example to them as Christ was an example to us. Walk as a new creation, that they might come to Christ and walk as a new creation too.

In 2014, I worked alongside Kyle in an outreach to the Gay Games: an international sporting event for the gay community. Our goals were to do two things: hear the stories of athletes, and serve them so that they could see God’s love and walk as new creations in Christ. And that is exactly what we did! We just sat down and asked people about their lives. And we heard the most amazing and passionate stories! In the midst of listening, we bought them lunch, carried their equipment, picked up their garbage, bandaged their wounds, and gave them hugs. We had a blast! And do you know what? The more we spent time listening and serving, the more they said ‘yes’ to Jesus. It really is that simple.

In your hands is a book, but it is more than a book. It is a story with an opportunity. Yes, it is a book about a young, sometimes scared, little boy that needed someone to hear his story. But it is also an opportunity for you to learn how to love. So read this book. Read it until your heart is filled with God’s love for the gay community. (Tell me honestly: If you had met Kyle in the early years, would you have entered into his life as a source of healing?) After you read this book, ask God one question, Whose story do you want me to hear? Make an appointment with them and sit down. Put your phone down and look into their eyes. For in their pupils is the heart of their story. Then, after you have listened, lovingly do something for them. In this service of listening and action is the love that saves lives!

To my friends that are struggling with the gay lifestyle – You are not alone. I love you. Jesus loves you. Heaven loves you. I truly am sorry for how the church has dealt with you over the course of your life. Some in the church just don’t understand. But, don’t let the rejection of the few stop you from the joy of the many. We want you in the body of Christ. We need you in the body of Christ; the body is not the body, without you! Please read this book. Let this story help you gain courage to overcome.

Lastly, I want to say this: the best is yet to come for your life. How do I know? The bible says, And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God. (1 Cor. 6:11) Paul further adds, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. (2 Cor. 5:17) There are two keys phrases I want to highlight. First of all, And such were some of you. If you are in Christ, these very words free you from the feelings you may have been born with (specifically: those feelings that do not line up with the will of God). When I was growing up, I was controlled by fear, anxiety, and lust. However, when I made Jesus my Lord and Savior, I put off my old ways (which were satan’s plan for my life) and I put on the new man, becoming a new creation in Christ. Secondly, the phrase new creation tells you something about God. What is the word found in creation? Hopefully you answered create. This shows that God is creative. He wants to creatively make you a new creation day-by-day. But still, the devil hates you, so he wants to destroy God’s creative desires for you to walk holy. The words new creation" invites you to do just that: allow Jesus’ creativity to form and fashion you by His mercy and grace day-by-day. Don’t let your feelings define your life and hide you in the closet of shame. Everyone is waiting for you to arise and come forth, to take your rightful place as a new creation, soaring in your holy destiny! The BEST is yet to come.

Ben Atkinson - Author and Director of holyclubs.com

Introduction

Stories. No one exactly knows where they originate from. Yet stories are a central part of our society, culture, and existence. Stories entertain and make us laugh; they inform and make us cry. They have great power and impact to shape and define all who hear them. But why? What gives them this great power? We do, because all our lives are made up of them, of stories. My life is a story and your life is a story. Our stories may have different characters and plot twists, but at its core, we all have the same story. All have been torn and all are searching. We all have longing which searches for an answer, for healing. We want desperately for our story to be heard and known, to be greatly loved and greatly impactful, and to be remembered when it reaches its final chapter. As I share my story with you, I ask one thing of you: Will you truly listen? Yes, this is my story, but this is also my version of your story. Listen close enough and you might see that our stories aren’t that different after all.

1

Learning to Breathe

Whether it’s a thrilling attack by Jaws ; a beautiful, moving, and inspiring song in the Lion King , or a suspenseful fight scene at the start of The Matrix , all compelling stories have them: a beginning. A captivating story draws the audience in the first chance that it gets. If you don’t hook people in at the start, how do you know that they will finish it? A story’s beginning sets the audience up for what the rest is going to be like. My story is no exception . . .

11:19 PM. July 19, 1981

Life began outside of the womb at this very moment for me, but it wasn’t an easy start. I was born three months prematurely with underdeveloped lungs. I spent seven weeks on a respirator and somehow, pulled through using every ounce of strength in my tiny, two-pound body. Shortly after dodging this obstacle, I was faced with an even greater one. I quickly developed pneumonia and a brain hemorrhage; this fatal progression produced doubt in the doctors that I would survive . . .

As if what my parents and family had already experienced wasn’t enough, they then received professional advice to prepare themselves to say good-bye to their son. Things really didn’t look promising for this little boy whose weight had plummeted to one pound. There was nothing that they could do in this moment for me. There was nothing that anyone could do, as a matter of fact. All eyes were watching to see what the outcome would be—life or death. I have no idea what my parents felt in this moment; I can’t imagine how difficult it was for them to go through this. But what I do know is that even when we feel helpless and alone, like things are spiraling out of your control, there is always one thing. One anchor, one rock, one person able to bring peace no matter what. At this moment, my parents did what only they knew to do: they gathered together our family, friends, and church to pray. They knew that God alone had created me, this tiny little baby, and that He alone would be able to save me.

For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. (Ps 139:13)

God knew the complexities and inner workings of my body and birth. It wasn’t a surprise, and so He was the perfect one to approach in time of need. God alone holds all the power and so