UNDONE: Hope for Healing from Childhood Sexual Abuse

By Sharon Sheppard, LMFT-S

Do you often feel defeated, overwhelmed, and ashamed that you aren't able to get over your childhood sexual abuse?

No amount of praying and memorizing of scripture alleviates your overwhelm and feelings of disconnection from your family and friends.

Are you looking for an effective way to help your clients or church members truly heal from the devastation of childhood sexual abuse?

Undone: Hope for Healing from Childhood Sexual Abuse combines elements of Christian faith and proven mental health therapy tools to help adult women work through (we call it process) their childhood sexual trauma.

It is written to equip biblical counselors with evidence-based interventions to use in a small group setting. There is a unique benefit to the group setting. Trauma happens in relationships and heals in relationships.

Some of the topics covered: "Freedom from Obstacles," "Flashbacks, Panic Attacks, Depression," "Shame and Guilt," "Does God Love Me?," "Vows and Judgments," "Sharing My Story," "Forgiveness (What It Is and What It Isn't)," and "Establishing Healthy Patterns."

• Language: English
• Publisher: Covenant Books, Inc.
• Release date: Nov 6, 2024
• ISBN: 9798891123762

Book preview

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UNDONE

Hope for Healing from Childhood Sexual Abuse

Sharon Sheppard, LMFT-S

ISBN 979-8-89112-375-5 (Paperback)

ISBN 979-8-89112-376-2 (Digital)

Copyright © 2024 Sharon Sheppard, LMFT-S

All rights reserved

First Edition

Cover Design: Marion Riggs Graphic Designer, marionriggs.com

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Scripture quotations taken from the (NASB®) New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995, 2020 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. All rights reserved. www.lockman.org

THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, IL 60188. All rights reserved.

Tyndale House Publishers. (2004). Holy Bible: New Living Translation. Wheaton, Ill: Tyndale House Publishers.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Covenant Books

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Murrells Inlet, SC 29576

www.covenantbooks.com

Table of Contents

Dedicated to the women and girls who are rewriting their stories.

Disclaimer

Preface for Survivors

Preface for Study Leaders

Week 1

Writing a New Story

Week 2

Freedom from Obstacles

Week 3

Taking Off My Mask

Weeks 4–6

Sharing My Story

Week 4-6: Sharing My Trauma Story

Week 7

Does God Love Me?

Week 8

Guilt and Shame

Week 9

Vows and Judgments

Weeks 10–11

Forgiveness

Week 10-11: Forgiveness

Week 12

Establishing Healthy Patterns

Sample Forms

References

About the Author

Dedicated to the women and girls who are rewriting their stories.

Disclaimer

Although Sharon L. Sheppard is a qualified licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT), the information presented in no way establishes a client-therapist relationship nor is it intended to take the place of individual mental health therapy from a licensed professional.

The information presented is for the use of biblical counselors with the sole intent of supporting participants in their recovery from childhood sexual abuse.

Preface for Survivors

This study is for you and dedicated to you. I'm heartbroken you need help related to your childhood sexual abuse, yet I am also grateful you chose to participate in this group. You are led by women called to minister to your wounds, hear your stories, witness your growth, and marvel at your courage.

Though you were given no choice when you were abused, you now have the choice to seek help and healing. Thank you for putting your trust in us. I pray the next twelve weeks bring you healing, wholeness, peace, and restored joy.

One day, I hope we meet in person. I'd love the opportunity to look you in the eyes and affirm that you are one of the most courageous and victorious women I will ever meet, and I am grateful to know you.

The Lord bless you

and keep you;

the Lord make his face shine on you

and be gracious to you;

the Lord turn his face toward you

and give you peace.

(Nehemiah 6:24–26 NIV)

Preface for Study Leaders

Thank you for your ministry to survivors of childhood sexual abuse within your church and community.

I wrote this study to equip biblical counselors with trauma-specific evidence-based interventions. All knowledge and wisdom come from God. I've seen firsthand how He uses traditionally secular interventions to heal women devastated by the heinous sin of sexual abuse.

You will find the leader guide at the end of the book with each chapter providing a list of supplies you may need and a synopsis of what you will cover each week. I also created videos offering more details about the purpose of the week's material and its implementation. You may access them, free of charge, at sharonsheppard.com.

The study is designed for group members to take turns reading the material—a paragraph or two—and then pass it to the next reader. As always, we honor the choice of those who do not wish to read. Of course, you may also present it in a format that works best for you. The workbook materials are completed in the group, not at home. I find it helpful to collect the workbooks at the end of each week with the promise you will secure them to ensure confidentiality. It cuts down on forgotten workbooks.

Please keep the group to four or five participants. The intimacy of four to five plus the leader(s) promotes trust while still providing the healing benefit of group work. Also, limit the weekly time to one and a half to two hours. Any more may be overwhelming for some. It also keeps the group focused and on task. There may be occasions when participants need more time, especially in weeks 4 to 6 and weeks 10 to 11. It is at your discretion.

There is a sample Confidentiality Agreement and Participant Screener at the end of the book. Customize, and print copies for each of your members to sign. Confidentiality among participants is crucial to creating a safe environment. Many survivors of CSA struggle with trust and feeling safe. Please go over the Confidentiality Agreement with the group and answer any potential questions. Please highlight the importance of a secure environment. The participant screener is to be used before the study begins. Unpacking and addressing trauma is hard work and can be itself triggering. The ideal participant is in individual therapy/counseling or has been previously and perceives she has done most of the work and sees the group as a final step toward healing. The group is not for individuals addressing their trauma for the first time unless they are working with an individual therapist/counselor.

I hope we meet someday. I'd love to hug your neck, if you're good with hugs, or shake your hand, and tell you how much I appreciate you.

If you have any additional questions, please feel free to contact me through the website sharonsheppard.com.

Week 1

Writing a New Story

Heartbreak brought you here, and how I wish it had passed you by. That the sexual sin of others had never hurt you. I am grateful though that we are here together. You are with a group of women who understand what you have survived. We also understand that you've done your best to make it this far. And now, you need a bit more help. You are in the right place. I am eager to share with you the transformation experienced by many through this twelve-week study.

Everyone will move at different paces through the twelve weeks, and there will be varying emotions—anger, fear, sadness, resentment, shame, guilt, indifference. All emotions are normal responses to trauma. All are acceptable. Your feelings are safe in this place. You are brave—one of the bravest people I will ever know because you are here doing the tough work. It takes courage to face the damage done by trauma, and it is challenging work to be free from it. It can be done. Let that swirl around in your head and heart. It can be done. Your future can be defined not by trauma but by your resiliency, courage, and the testimony of God's healing power.

So let's begin.

Undone: Defined

The name of this study comes from a song of the same name written and performed by the band, MercyMe. After hearing the song and looking up the lyrics, I googled the definition and knew that this was the perfect name for a study on healing and restoration from childhood sexual abuse.

The first two definitions talk of the coming undone of ourselves. We build a strong wall around ourselves to keep people out, to protect ourselves from more hurt. We