A Chronology on Elm Street

By Mr. Satanism

Do the Nightmare on Elm Street movies really occur in the order that they were released? And how does Freddy Krueger's TV show fit in? Or Wes Craven's New Nightmare? What about the music videos? Well fear not, because, like Clarissa, Mr. Satanism is here to explain it all, in his first-ever film guide dedicated exclusively to a single franchise: A Chronology on Elm Street.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Inept Concepts
• Release date: Feb 15, 2018
• ISBN: 9781386885597

Book preview

II

Freddy's Nightmares: A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Series: Sister's Keeper

(1988)

Okay, so that guy in our previous installment who led the mob in burning Freddy alive, only to become his first (or possibly second) dream victim? There was a reason he was so aggressive about getting rid of Freddy Krueger: his hot, blonde, twin daughters were next on Freddy's hit list, and now that Freddy's a killer dream ghost, they still are. I guess it takes Fred a while to power up at this point though, because a decent amount of time seems to have passed since their pop's death, long enough for the more stable of the two to be pretty much over it. The other one keeps having dreams about Freddy though, and when she gets hurt in these dreams it's her sister who feels it. This, of course, is based on the old myth that if you, say, fuck one twin, the other one will also have an orgasm. (Actually, if you were fucking her neither one of them would have an orgasm, but you get what I mean.) Freddy does a good job of playing the sisters off against each other for a while (classic), but eventually they're both on the same page and decide to enter their shared dream and confront him together. Unfortunately, their brilliant plan (We'll just wish him away!) doesn't work, and their double-dose of hotness is immediately reduced to a solo act. It's always tragic when a tasty piece of ass is abruptly pulled off the market like that, but I take some consolation in the fact that it's the stable sister who ultimately gets whacked. Given a choice, I always prefer to date the crazy twin. They're almost always better in the