Let's Go Slowly

By C.S. Mae

Terri Shaw is looking for a settled life: house, man, babies. She definitely isn't looking for Ethan Yoo, who makes her forget timelines and qualifications. But when life comes crashing down around her, she might be grateful to have someone on her side, supporting her.

This book definitely contains adult content.

• Language: English
• Publisher: C.S. Mae
• Release date: Mar 18, 2017
• ISBN: 9781370939671

Book preview

Chapter 1: Terri

Well, that was a birthday to remember, I thought as I left the restaurant and walked towards the parking garage where I'd stowed my car.

My feet, in their flat-soled ballet shoes, were aching. My head was pounding, and I left behind the hottest guy I'd had a date with in months because he was obviously into his friend.

When I'd gotten a note from Logan Lee, my initial feeling had been one of excitement. Guys like him didn't message girls like me. Especially not when I'd taken the time and effort to post an unexciting picture for my profile. After hard experience, I'd learned to date only guys who were interested in what was written on the page, not what was in the picture.

After about 50 gazillion messages asking me if the carpet matched the drapes, I'd canceled my membership with a pricey, bigger website and gone local, posting a subdued picture and an absurdly specific blurb for my page. I had less dates as a result, but fewer of them were cringe-worthy.

Logan had seemed like the jackpot at first. He was even hotter in person than on his profile page, and that was saying something. His voice was deep and dreamy, his eyes like caramel candies. But that didn't change the fact that those eyes were constantly on Beth. He watched her every move, and the two of them had their heads together every few minutes, whispering over whatever shared joke they seemed to think was so funny.

Even Brett, Beth's date, turned to me once during the night and cocked a Can you believe this? eyebrow at me when Logan's lips almost seemed to brush Beth's ear when he told her something.

Judging from Logan's surprised expression when I told him I didn't want another date, he was in total denial. That was fine. I had no interest in prolonging that discovery, though. Heck, for a few minutes I even considered sending Beth a text as a heads-up, in the spirit of solidarity, but I eventually dismissed that idea. They'd work it out, given time. That much repressed sexual tension would rise to the surface at some point, no question.

Feeling rejected by my date doesn't help me feel good on my birthday, though, I thought.

I'd already celebrated yesterday with my friends Malina and Jenny, at our favorite restaurant, but part of me had been hoping that today, on my real birthday, I'd have one more thing to celebrate—a hot new boyfriend. Oh well.

Thirty was a tough age, I'd discovered. There was something inherently judgey about it. As if the world looked over your list of accomplishments and gave them a grade. Married, A. Divorced, D-. Still Single, C. No Children, C. Semi-successful career in nursing, B+. Working at assisted living facility, B-. Own House, A. Own House that you purchased with a down payment from selling your grandma's house, C-.

So let's just take stock, I thought. I have two friends, two family members, no husband, no children and no pets. (I'd never bought a pet, because I was afraid of turning out to be an old cat lady, or one of those ladies with a tiny shaking dog.) Have I failed at life? Am I doing well for 30 or should I be making some exciting choices?

Walking faster now, I was about a block away from the parking garage. There were people everywhere laughing and talking in groups, and here I was hurrying back to my car because I couldn't wait to get home and put on my yoga pants, drink a nice glass of wine, and bury myself in another romance novel.

Hey, lady! said a voice behind me. Which I ignored, as there were like fifty other ladies walking down the street with me. There was the sound of more laughing and talking behind me.

Hey, Red! said the voice again, which stopped me cold. Man, I never got tired of people referring to me by the color of my hair. Oh wait, yes I did.

I turned around to give the schmuck a piece of my mind, when I almost charged into the guy who had run up to meet me.

The light out was dim, so I couldn't see him very well, but he was taller than me—I was 5'8" in stocking feet—with dark hair and a young face. Standing behind him was a group that he must be with, college age kids dressed in club garb. They were peppy and excited, talking among themselves, while clearly waiting for him.

You like Korean music? he asked, panting a little from his short dash.

Uh, I guess, I said, not really understanding his point. I'd liked that Kpop stuff that Beth had sung earlier, and from what Beth said, there was a whole slew of great music that most Americans were missing out on.

We got tickets to this Korean EDM night at Club S and one of my friends bailed on us, so we have an extra ticket. TOKiMONSTA is the DJ. This is like her comeback tour after recovering from brain surgery.

He was so enthused I hated to stop him, but he was talking about a world that I had no interest in.

I'm sorry, uh...

Ethan Yoo, he said holding out a warm hand. I knew it was warm because I gently grasped it before letting go awkwardly.

Ethan, I'm Terri Shaw. Anyway, I appreciate the offer, but that ticket would be totally wasted on me. I don't even know what EDM means, and I've certainly never listened to a Korean version of it.

It means electronic dance music.

Oh. It sounded all weird and techy, like I would be listening to robot music or something.

If you've never listened to it before, you should definitely come. It'll change your life.

That was something so ridiculous that only a college age boy would say it, and I laughed out loud, feeling a bit guilty when he frowned.

You should come. You'll have a great time, I promise.

But I'm not dressed for a club, I said, looking down at my clingy emerald top and dark jeans. My flats were screaming that I was boring and practical.

You look insanely hot, believe me, you'll fit right in, Ethan said this in a breathy and sincere voice that made me half grin and wrap a curl around my finger. Please, come with us.

It is your birthday, I told myself. What better way to spend it than dancing the night away with a hot young guy? It isn't like you have work in the morning or anything.

I didn't have work until Tuesday, in fact. I really didn't have a good reason not to join.

Okay, I told him. I'll go, but if I hate it, I'm leaving.

Chapter 2: Ethan

I'd been watching her for hours. Not in a weird stalkery way, but more like, I'd seen a flash of red moving through the crowd at Undongjang and couldn't keep myself from staring until I had taken in every inch of her curvy body. She stood out in a crowd; that was for sure.

I wasn't the only guy looking, either. Pretty much every guy in the room that could be considered a full grown male was taking in that flowing auburn hair, those high round breasts peeking up above the low neckline of her shirt and that round butt plastered with tight dark jeans. And pretty much every guy in there was groaning to himself when she didn't go over to the bar area, but instead joined a table where a guy who was ten times hotter than any of them leaned in to kiss her on the cheek and hold out her chair for her.

Lucky Bastard, I thought to myself with a shake of my head. She leaned forward, flashing that deep cleavage and every muscle in my body tightened as desire slammed into it.

Be less obvious, man, said my friend Mickey, shaking his head. She's here with someone else.

I shrugged. I'm not gonna carry her off to my bed. I just like the look of her.

Mickey snorted. You and all the other guys in here. Including the one sitting next to her.

Nodding, I turned away and focused on having a good time with my friends while ignoring Red and her date. Until she got up on stage and started dancing around to IU's song, that is. She and her friend gyrated their way across the stage, looking so happy. For a moment I really did want to take her home in some kind of Neanderthal display and hope that I could keep that look on her face all night long.

Mickey and his girlfriend, Regan, had signed up for a song, so we all cheered them on. I wasn't really into CNBLUE, but they did a good job and the crowd here always liked the Kpop songs best.

We were wrapping up dinner a few hours later when I saw Red exit ahead of her date. Alone. I glanced back and the hot guy was talking to the girl next to him. He looked at her in a way that let me know that Red was not his girlfriend. Maybe she was a friend or something, but the other girl and the guy were obviously together.

I looked back at the door and saw that she was going the same way as my friends and I.

The summer air was warm as we went outside, and I almost regretted wearing the tight jeans I'd put on for the club. But hell, I knew they looked good, and what was the point in going to a club with hot girls if you weren't trying to snag one for yourself?

I fingered the layers of bracelets on my wrists while I walked next to Mickey. My friend nudged me in the shoulder and nodded towards Red.

Looks like things didn't work out with that guy. You should try to talk to her.

I shook my head, blowing my long bangs back from my face. That girl is way out of my league.

Regan protested. Ethan, you know I think Mick is super-hot, but I have eyes in my head. You are definitely in her league. We have Tina's ticket, why don't you ask her if she wants it?

My heart raced at the idea of my body pressed up against hers for an unknown length of time. Still I hesitated. Until Mickey took it out of my hands. He yelled out, Hey, lady!

I groaned.

Yeah, that's appealing, I muttered.

Hey, Red! Mickey yelled, cupping his hands.

Just shut it, okay? I said and sprinted towards her. It took a little sweet talking on my part to get her to agree, but when she did I kept her talking the entire way there. I was honestly afraid that if she thought about what she was doing for like three seconds, she'd ditch me.

When we got to the door, I handed her a pair of earplugs.

She frowned. Is it going to be that loud?

It'll be loud, but everyone has different ear sensitivity. I want to make sure you're comfortable, I said.

She looked down at them then up at me. So I guess we won't be doing a lot of talking then.

I shook my head and talked myself into leaning down to speak in her ear.

We can talk, just not with our mouths, I said, and tried to give her my best come-hither look.

She laughed and stuffed the packet in her pocket. From the way she was shoving at that tight pocket, I could tell it was tough. And no wonder. Those jeans were like a second skin.

The music pulsed through my body when we entered Club S and the crowd immediately pressed in around us. Reaching down for Terri's hand, I twined my fingers with hers. I checked her eyes to make sure she was cool with that, and when she smiled, I pulled her along toward the dance floor.

I stopped short. Did you want a drink? I asked.

No, but I need to check my purse, she said, pointing to a sign by the entrance.

After that was done, we continued on to the dance floor.

It was dark, and the music was pounding, and notes seemed to radiate from the speakers until I felt like I'd die if I didn't dance. So I danced. I let go of Terri's hand so she could do whatever made her comfortable and we just danced together.

God, was it good. She twisted and undulated in front of me, eyes closed, hands up, head thrown back. She was close enough to be in my space, but far enough away that I felt a sharp longing whenever some part of her body touched mine.

Suddenly the music changed and the tempo had people moving even more frenetically. Terri got pushed from behind and fell forward, into me.

I slid an arm around her and held her against me for a minute while we danced together, eyes meeting. I was afraid I was going to embarrass myself in a minute though, so I let her go and she drifted back again.

After a couple of minutes when my senses calmed down, I slid a hand around her hip and tugged again, bringing her body closer. It was like I was testing myself, holding her close until I couldn't take the heat, and then releasing her slightly, hand still cupped around her hip bone. I didn't drink—it was why I volunteered as designated driver for these jaunts—but the heady, dizzy, spinny feeling I got inside when I was touching her was as disorienting, and way better.

I couldn't wait to feel more.

Chapter 3: Terri

I knew the night had to end. I knew my short interlude with this younger guy was coming to an end. We'd gotten water, tried and failed to talk above the music, and danced through the PM and on into the AM. And now I was starting to lose energy. My feet were killing me. And there was only so much rubbing up against a guy you could do before you started to wonder if it was even worth it—all that teasing when you knew nothing was going to come of it.

I wasn't taking him home. He was his group's designated driver, so he was in this for the long haul. And he was too young. I was old enough now—thirty, for goodness' sake—to know better. So I leaned forward, slid my arms around his neck, and gave myself a second to enjoy the look of startled pleasure on his face. I hadn't let myself be sexually proactive until that moment.

I'm gonna leave after this song, I said in his ear. He looked down at my face and saw that I was serious and tired and done and nodded.

I started to unwind my arms, but he hugged me close.

Let me enjoy it for a few more minutes, Ethan said, rubbing his hands up and down my back. His touch sent shivers of pleasure over my neck and spine.

I told myself the hell with it and leaned in to him, letting everything from my shoulders to my belly button press against him. Ethan responded by leaning down to nuzzle against my neck. The crowd around us was still moving like jitter bugs, but the two of us had traveled into our own world. How else could they explain the sultry way we moved together, enjoying the beat, but also halting and hesitating through a space that was making the rules as it went?

The nuzzling turned to kissing as his lips moved cautiously from the crook of my neck to my ear. Ethan kissed my earlobe and nosed the side of my cheek, as though directing me to move my mouth closer.

You are so amazingly gorgeous, I can't believe I'm dancing with you right now, he said. His voice was raised, but somehow seemed like a whisper.

I did turn my face then, and look up into his eyes. I watched his gaze move from my eyes down to my mouth, but just as he lowered his head, I stepped back.

The music had changed, the night was gone, and it was probably a good idea to end things before I did something I'd regret. I had a lot of regrets and making out with a boy who was probably a decade younger than me was not going to be an addition to the list.

I've gotta go, I said. Thanks for the ticket. I had a great time.

I turned to leave, but he'd grabbed my hand.

I'm going to walk you to your car, he said. It was a statement of fact.

You should stay with your friends.

I'll send them a text to let them know. I can be back in time to take them home. Regan will dance until the club closes, believe me.

Ethan texted his friends while I picked up my purse from where I'd checked it in. Then we left the club together.

In typical Bay Area fashion, the warm summer air had turned chilly and I shivered a little as we walked.

I wish I'd brought a coat, Ethan said, reaching around me to rub my arms. Somehow his arm stayed there, but I didn't complain. Let the fantasy continue for another couple of blocks.

We walked in silence until he finally spoke.

I wanna go out with you again. Maybe have an actual conversation, he suggested. Can I get your number?

I sighed. He seemed like a sweet boy.

I don't think so.

"Why not? You seem like you're as into me as