The Composition of Honey: The Honey Saga, #2

By J. L. Brandenburg

Lies and deception are Tony Jefferies’ livelihood. An agent in the Special Operations division of the CIA, Tony has infiltrated the Gambini crime family. His mission is to stop the sale of weapons to a known terrorist supplier, Prince Al-Saud and bring down the mob family selling him the weapons at the same time.  A major complication - Tony Jefferies has fallen in love with a woman he is investigating. But she has fallen for Adam Carmichael, his legend.

Joni Crawford is a widow of seven years.  She has dreamed of a man coming into her life and having another chance at a happily ever after.  The man invading her dreams is Adam Carmichael. After wrestling with her feelings, Joni gives her heart away.  Months later, Joni learns Adam’s true identity and about the federal investigation that initiated their relationship.  She must make a choice about their future.

During a spontaneous trip, the couple runs into the Prince at their hotel. Prince Daniel seeks out Joni for a private meeting.  Agent Jefferies must now find a way to keep her safe from the mob, the CIA, and a budding interest from the terrorist, Prince Al-Saud, without blowing his cover as Adam Carmichael.

Can the couple survive the duplicity of their beginning, make a break from the ongoing federal investigation, and start a new life as the Jefferies?

• Language: English
• Publisher: J. L. Brandenburg
• Release date: Nov 20, 2017
• ISBN: 9780998802435

J. L. Brandenburg

J.L. Brandenburg was born in Vincennes, Indiana in 1960.  She married a military man and moved around the US, living in seven different states, but visiting thirty-eight.  After spending thirteen years in Virginia, it became her new “home.” Before retiring, she earned her living as a social worker.  Her background gives her an understanding of the emotional devastation that can result from broken families, regardless of the cause. Her passion for writing began when she was young, but her style of writing is inspired by Tom Clancy, Len Deighton, Steve Martini, Patricia Cornwell, Nora Roberts and Danielle Steele. Ms. Brandenburg currently resides in Illinois.  She shares her home with her two grandchildren, two dogs, two cats, and fosters an adult with disabilities.

Book preview

Dedicated to my best and only lunatic friend.

Semper Fi

1.

Startled by the dream of Jake releasing her hand, as he walked away, she awakes and as always, sleep quickly returns. At 3:45 a.m., she stirs at the sound of the jangling alarm and hears the patter of raindrops on the roof. Dang it!  The route takes longer in the rain because bagging the papers and adjusting the towel on her seat means extra work.

She gradually eases herself off the bed, while her mind remembering the recent event adding stress to her already restless nights. Three agonizing long days have passed since Joni Crawford’s relationship with Adam Carmichael came to a screeching halt.

As she drags herself into the bathroom, the images of the passionate lovemaking session, her eager participation, and his tender declaration of love race into her thoughts.  Unfortunately, she did not return the sentiment.  Saying the words I love you eluded her.  While staring at the mirror, she logically admits she loves the man, heck, even believes he is her future. Shaking her head at the woman in the mirror, she mutters, ‘why won’t my heart get in alignment with my mind?’ 

Although they are attempting to salvage the relationship, she is afraid too much may have transpired to risk emotional vulnerability again.  Adam agreed to visit her at the end of his work day, but she admits the nightly visits are an attempt to reboot the relationship; to ensure she doesn’t toss away an opportunity to know love and happiness. At ages forty-seven and fifty, she knows it is wildly improbable another chance to feel this way will come again.

Her inability to say, ‘I Love You’s convincing testimony for the man that she is not ready to love again.  After a bout of humiliation and a fit of anger, he did acquiesce to her plea for more time.  Though he agreed to evening visits, Adam also vowed never to touch her again...not until she could admit her love for him.

As he pledged, he stops for a couple of hours after work to share a meal and attempt conversation. Their lovemaking is not mentioned, but it is all he can think about.  Last evening in a grim, unsmiling and less than hopeful mood, Adam broke his promise and held Joni when her distress was physical, as well as emotionally, obvious. 

Convinced she will recognize her torment as love rather than just friendship, Adam became hopeful once again.  He finds Joni unconventionally beguiling. A woman with a childlike spirit, independence, grace, and wisdom beyond her years. She is a safe and compatible companion. A woman like he has never known.  He admits to himself, he wants her to deal with her past and be free to love him, deeply and forever.

As for Joni, well, she believes Adam coming into her life is a gift from God.  She is at a loss of understanding for her heartless rejection of his declaration of love. Joni wants nothing more than for Adam to be her future, but a nagging uncertainty holds her back.  She trusts her faith and asked God to intervene.  She prays daily for clarity about Adam.  A clear sign signaling it is also His plan that Adam is for her and for life.

The darkness of the gloomy gray sky does nothing to improve her mood or lessen her anguished thoughts. While passing papers, Joni reflects how Adam has managed to coerce a sense of confidence from her on many occasions. After learning Joni lost her husband Jake, and her son, Jack, six years ago, he understands and tolerates the old feelings she has to work through.

Once he even offered an honest observation - that her survival guilt plagues her self-esteem, making her question what she deserves.  Her misgivings typically surface in their tender moments. Joni shakes her head to dispel the awfulness of her current place in life. The nightmare replaying the death of her husband and son occurs nightly, but now it is the fear of losing Adam forever that scares her the most. 

Just like she thought, the route keeps her out about twenty minutes longer than usual.  Bandit, is waiting and pacing nervously at the back door. She gently strokes the white and black English Setter before opening the door. Joni giggles inwardly, wondering if the sound of water triggered his bladder too.  Naw, he’s probably in a hurry because she is late. 

Joni starts a pot of coffee, then decides to change into dry clothes.  When she returns to the kitchen, she takes the time to dump food into his bowl and fill his water dish before opening the door. She is a bit surprised the rain-phobic dog isn’t demanding to get inside. 

Oddly, he isn’t on the porch waiting for her either.  In her constant state of exhaustion, she fears she left the gate open. When he manages to get loose, Bandit is notorious for exploring the inlet and houses in the neighborhood.  He won’t voluntarily go out on a rainy day, but he will gladly play chase, even in the rain.  Typically, he trots out onto the sandbar to avoid capture.  Joni becomes irritated with herself for such a dangerous mistake. 

A quick glance out the front windows reveals nothing unusual.  No sight of a loose, wet, naughty dog.  Joni assumes if he’s gone down to the inlet, she’s wasting time looking from the windows anyway.  Usually, he’s back within twenty or thirty minutes. She decides to eat breakfast before going out to search for her rogue dog. 

Once again, she peers out the kitchen window while putting breakfast dishes into the dishwasher.  Still, no sign of Bandit, which frankly now has her worried.  Nothing about today’s events has been typical.  He woke early, voluntarily went outside in the rain, and still isn’t home. Each a questionable behavior.  Put them all together...it is time to investigate.  She snatches her raincoat off the hook and heads down the walkway toward the garage.

As she begins down the path, a flash of lightening causes her to lift her head and something catches her eye.  Out in the yard, she spies a large, white spot near the vegetable garden. After studying the still form, she realizes it is Bandit. Joni shouts his name several times, but gets no response.  More frightening for her, from this distance, she can’t tell if he is breathing.

Her mind becomes still from panic and her stomach feels queasy. Her feet refuse to propel her into the yard. Although she calls while clapping her hands, Bandit appears lifeless. Tears and raindrops mingle in her eyes, clouding her vision, along with her thinking.  Joni is too afraid to go to him, to touch him, because it might confirm her dreadful thoughts. 

After several seconds of fretting, Adam is the logical thought that invades her fears and moves her feet into action.  She runs inside and fumbles while dialing his number. The call to his cell goes straight to voicemail.  Joni left no message when she remembers his business card hanging on the fridge.  She has his office number.

His secretary answers on the second ring. The pleasant voice tells the caller Mr. Carmichael is in a meeting and cannot be disturbed.  She would be happy to connect the caller to his voicemail. 

Joni says no, please don’t, with more emphasis than she means.  Then she stammers through her tears, This is an emergency.  Please, tell him it is Joan. I know he will take a call from me.

Inside the office, Adam is having a heated discussion with his boss. Come on Vinnie. Surely, you realize we live in an age where anyone using the internet can learn to build a bomb. If you have an AK-47 and a desire to make a political statement, almost anyone can become a terrorist!  We have no idea what this guy plans to do with these weapons. What if this stuff ends up being used against the US? The phone is ringing as he speaks.

I don’t give a fuck about your political suppositions. The prince will pay millions of dollars for something I want to sell.  His name attached to our business will attract more high rollers. Meaning more money for us.

After peeking through the window, Adam’s secretary buzzes the private office.  She hit the speaker button after her boss doesn’t answer after several rings.  Mr. Carmichael. I am sorry to interrupt you, but there is an emergency call from a Mrs. Jones.  She insisted you would take her call.  The tension in her voice is obvious to all in the room.

I don’t know a Mrs. Jones. He doesn’t punch the button and begins to address his boss again, but turns back toward the phone.  Wait a minute, Sally.  Did she say, Mrs. Jones, or Joan? Adam quizzes as he holds up his finger to the man present in the room.

Possibly Joan. The woman is crying, so I had a tough time understanding her.  Mr. Carmichael, she assured me you would talk to her.

And she is correct, Sally.  I will take the call.  Now and anytime she calls.

Vinnie Gamble paused the discussion about the lucrative deal with Prince Al-Saud when the call distracted his employee.  The interruption irritates him, so he flashes a nasty smile at the man on the phone.

Ignoring the looks thrown his way, an anxious Adam snatches the receiver and punches the lit button.  Joni has never called him, because he always manages to call her first. Something must be wrong for her to call him at the office. Considering that, along with the current state of their relationship, the call is out of character.

Joni is physically shaking from the fear of a loss, not rejection.  She knows Adam will tell her how to help her beloved Bandit.

Are you ok? Is everything alright? He interrogates without any greeting. 

It's Bandit.  He’s in the rain...the yard...not moving...  Her voice cracks, as tearful hiccups break up her speech.

Oh, honey. Hang on. I will be right there.  Stay right where you are. The line goes dead.

While waiting for help to arrive, memories of Jack and Bandit playing catch drift into Joni’s mind.  But memories of Adam sitting on the floor petting the dog mingle there too.  Bandit is the bridge from her past to the present.  How will she go on without him?

When Adam drops the phone back onto the cradle, he heads straight for the door.  He hears Vinnie shouting. Where the fuck do you think you are going?  We are in the middle of planning this deal with the prince.

I have an emergency.  I’ll call you when I am on my way back.  We can resume then, but I am leaving. Adam informs him.

You are leaving? For a fucking woman?  Get your ass right back in here. Vinnie demands. His summons went unheeded because it came too late.  Adam is already gone. She must be in a desperate state to call, he thinks as he walks out the door.

She is pacing between the back and front doors - watching for signs of life at one and waiting for her answer to appear at the other.  Even though she is frantic, it seems Adam arrives in just minutes.  Joni grabs him around the waist and shudders involuntarily when he holds her close.

Though Adam notices her red, swollen eyes and puffy face, he only sees the striking woman whom as captured his heart. The feel of her 5’8 frame tucked nicely under the arm of his 6’4 frame carries his mind in another direction. Part of Joni’s doubts center on his good looks. He believes no one would call her a stunningly beautiful woman; more like the girl next door attractive, but to him, she is the most magnificent creature he has ever met.  Adam wipes the tears from her cheek, then gives her a quick kiss of reassurance.

Joni holds his hand and walks with her savior as far as the patio.  Her fright makes the brick an invisible barrier which prevents her feet from carrying her further. Knowing what awaits in the yard, her breathing becomes rapid, her heart races, and her body begins to sway. She closes her eyes until the feeling of nausea passes.

Adam thinks ‘of course, today I wear my Armani suit,’ but it does not deter him from going to Bandit.  Walking away, his concern is how Joni will handle this situation. He recognizes her paralyzing apprehension comes from experience. Joni is all too familiar with the pain of sudden tragic loss.

In spite of his angst of being wet, the dog is still lying in the muddy yard, right where Joni pointed. Adam ponders as he makes his approach, ‘Bandit is 9 or 10 years old. Probably too young to just keel over, but hell, I guess anything is possible.’  Adam squats over the wet animal and gently strokes his side. Bandit wags the tip of his tail when he feels the touch.  ‘Thank God, he is alive,’ rushes into his thoughts.

Hey, Joni. He’s alive.  Would you go open the door of my truck?  Let’s get him to the vet. He shouts while trying to assess the condition of the limp dog.

Relieved to know her dog is breathing, Joni jogs into the house and snatches a blanket from the closet shelf. Once back outside, she watches Adam coaxing the dog to get up and walk.  When they arrive at the truck, Adam is now carrying Bandit. Joni sees although the dog is motionless, his eyes are opened, but glazed, and his breathing comes in shallow gulps. 

He gently lifts the soaked bundle into the backseat. Adam smooths the fur on Bandit’s head and tells the sick dog before climbing into the driver seat, We’re going to find out what ails you, ol buddy. 

The elegantly dressed man carries the near lifeless dog into the Emergency Vet clinic.  The receptionist guides the trio into an exam room rather than continuing with check-in. She asks the technician to join them, so the events that led them to the clinic is shared with three people at once. The tech informs them Bandit will need x-rays and blood drawn before there can be a diagnosis or prognosis.

The receptionist offers Adam some paperwork on a clipboard, then directs the couple into the lobby area. As he returns the clipboard to the counter, in a whisper the clerk inquires how they plan to pay the bill. He responds, Money is no object.  Do everything necessary to keep Bandit alive.  Then hands over his credit card, along with the paperwork.

It is an investigator who settles into the chair and silently assesses the woman sitting by his side. The totality of his job is to examine the known and suspected facts about people and make an official decision about this person.  As Joni scoots closer, caressing his arm, rocking back and forth, occasionally resting her head on his shoulder, he has no suspicions. But lots of questions.

With this woman, the known facts confuse him. It only takes a brief time in her presence to know Joni is emotionally fragile. She functions and adapts to change, and honestly, most would see her as content. But she is emerging from an emotional darkness, still searching for her place in the world. Undoubtedly from the loss of her family – a situation he helped to create, his guilt reminds him. Knowing these facts, it is easy to understand how Bandit became her life line to sanity and reality.

On deeper reflection, the agent decides Joni doesn’t possess the emotional fortitude necessary to overcome her fears and self-doubt. She frets about being an inconvenience. Unlike most women, little piques her interest, or she shows great restraint, he isn’t sure which.  Joni accepts what she sees and hears, without question, and never pries for more than he shares.  Then there are the occasional ‘dream chats’ with her dead husband.  Sometimes her actions catch him off guard.  Like today.  She calls him, depending solely on him for help. How did she manage before he stepped into her life? Truthfully, the known facts are about as confusing as the unknown.

Her tears have subsided and outwardly she appears strong. The tapping sound of her foot on the tile floor and her rocking movements are the only signs she is fretting. Adam makes his way to the reception desk after about thirty minutes, wanting answers. The wise receptionist reassures him the doctor will update the worried couple when tests results are known.  Until then, there just isn’t any news to share.

Finally, after what seems like an eternity, the veterinarian emerges from the backroom and calls her name.  Lost in her thoughts, she did not hear the door open, causing Joni to jump at the sound of her name.  She slowly raises her hand before standing to greet the doctor.

The vet tells the couple that Bandit is one smart dog. He instinctively knew what to do to bring down his fever.  An abscessed tooth has caused an infection, which in turn, caused him to develop a fever.  By lying in the rain, Bandit managed to keep his temperature from spiking, preventing seizures, brain damage, or possibly even his death.  Bandit needed immediate treatment and is receiving antibiotics and pain medications through an IV, but he will come home, today.  The tooth needs extracting, but that procedure can be scheduled with his regular vet. 

Joni stares at the man, watching his lips move, but only hears the words, ‘Bandit is coming home, today.’  When the doctor walks away, Joni covers her face with her hands. The initial silent tears become sobs. 

Adam drapes his arm around her shoulder. It is a somber look on his face that fit his words, Did you understand what the doctor said? He’s going to be ok.  His heart thumps with worry.

She shakes her head, yes, but the sobs wrack her body. Joni manages through her tears to say, Oh, Adam, the worst is over. Just like my family, I didn’t help him. I stood there and did nothing. I couldn’t bear another loss and I just stood there. But, he is coming home with me.  She finishes her thoughts with her eyes.

Though a baffled look comes over him, Adam pulls her into a tight embrace anyway. 

Once they have Bandit settled at home, Adam’s mind is back on the meeting he abruptly left. Vinnie is the head of the east coast Gambini crime family.  His men take orders without question. Undoubtedly, there will be consequences for this decision. Adam takes her face in his hands, and says, I cannot stay with you right now.  I left an important meeting.  Honey, I must go back to work, but I will see you as soon as I can.  I promise.  She agrees with just a nod of her head. 

After Adam leaves, she pulls a pillow off the bed and curls up next to her beloved Bandit.  The shame of her failure to react and the relief of his presence next to her bed, mingle as the adrenaline drains from her body. Taunting her thoughts, her many inadequacies replay over and over, before exhaustion settles in and she surrenders to much needed slumber. Comforted by the warmth of her canine companion, she drifts into a restless sleep.

2.

Adam leaves the house with his phone in hand. No answer, but he leaves Vinnie a voicemail with his ETA. He reflects, thank goodness, he has access to a shower at his office because he smells like a wet dog.  He keeps a backup suit at the office, so no delay in meeting with Vinnie. In the past smelling like a dog might bother him...well contact with a wet dog would never occur before Joni.  But hell, it's just a suit.  Joni’s happiness is worth any amount of money.

He showers and changes, but