Dream Myself Dead

By Darrell Howland

Life is a wild rollercoaster ride, filled with moments of love and hate, lust and passion and dark struggles with mental illness. But amidst the chaos and pain, there are also moments of beauty and inspiration and for me these moments came in the forms of life changing timelines that would define who I was as a person. I found solace and comfort in a happy kind of sadness that resided in my past. It spoke to my soul and helped me make sense of the world around me by writing thought provoking compositions about the despondency, elation and the pleasures that life’s happy and darker moments held. Not all the content is about struggles and hardships, some is about love and the beauty of life.
And through it all, writing has been there to guide me and to remind me that no matter how hard life may get, there is always something that will humble and get me through.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Darrell Howland
• Release date: Oct 27, 2017
• ISBN: 9781370353989

Book preview

DREAM MYSELF DEAD (POEMS AND VERSES)

Table of Contents

Foreword

Donna

Fish and Chip Fridays

Seen It Thru

Airing Cupboard

Dedications

Dream Myself Dead is dedicated to…..

Kevin Blythen,

Donna Lee Summerfield

& Julie Pootle Camish

Dream Myself Dead (Poems & Verses)

Copyright © 2013 by Darrell Howland

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced,

Distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including

Photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods,

Without prior written permission of the publisher, except in the

Case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain

Other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

First published in 2013.

Foreword

Dream Myself Dead is basically an ode to the state of

my mental health, bought on by years of

self-loathing, self-hatred, self-harm

drug abuse, love, and positive energy,

born of negative cataclysmic thoughts.

The Art concept of D.M.D was so entirely simple,

the idea was to have the very beautiful Julie Camish

lying on my bed with the duvet over her and her

arms resting on the outside.

Then with the magic of a certain photo program,

I’d remove the duvet and superimpose a grave slab,

and replace the headboard with a headstone.

Due to the photo shoot of the original idea ending in

fits of hysterical laughter, I decided to use an x-ray

of my skull and the tech wizardry of Lenka Page to

create the final image…enjoy!!!

Prelude

Some people can’t be saved

Some souls can’t be salvaged

This loneliness has shadowed me since my teens

Now it has consumed me….

Dead Skin

My mum she wants the worst for me

She wants me out and on the street

I’m not her son that’s what she said

Go find your dad if he’s not dead

Tell me what I did, what I did to you

Tell me what I did, I’ll tell you if it’s true

But my dad he hates my guts

He didn’t want to keep in touch

He never phoned, asked how I’ve been

Cause through his eyes I’m just dead skin

Tell me what I did, what I did to you

Tell me what I did, I’ll tell you if it’s true

I’m a no one man, I know

I’m like a freak without a show

Been made to feel I don’t