The Inspection: Found, #1

By B.V. Holt

Simon is ambitious, has his life mapped out.

His path to the top of the career ladder, his relationship leading to successful marriage (complete with the obligatory 2.4 children) – all of it planned to the nth degree.  

Thing is he doesn’t really enjoy the job he’s doing right now, certain aspects of it bore and aggravate him.

But then he knows he’s only marking time, serving his dues so he can tick that box before climbing another rung to the top.

Most days are fairly uneventful, the foibles of customers just an expected – sometimes aggravating - aspect of the work.

The day seemed like any other day, the job his least favorite type.

And then he meets Baz.

Will this man disturb his mundane life in a good way or destroy his sense of self forever?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Topaz Publishing
• Release date: Sep 5, 2017
• ISBN: 9781386551065

Book preview

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

One

He absolutely hated these annual checks. You'd go into these houses and hope to god it could just be a simple, routine job – no nasty surprises, nothing that required a ton of paperwork. But so far, in the two years he'd been doing this that had never been the case.

There was always, always something – a problem that became more complicated the longer you went on; a customer who didn't know their arse from their elbow; a customer who was just...difficult...( to put it politely); a customer who had her tits out the minute she clocked you were under 25 and male (well they expected you to be male, but your youth seemed to be some kind of trigger for some of the older ones).

These were the ones he hated most. What the hell were you meant to do when some old biddy came to you in some shorty bathrobe, nothing underneath, and blatantly offered you things on a plate without ever coming right out and saying it?

They were counselled about this stuff – how you just never, ever got involved with a customer, and he wanted to say (now he had experience) but how do you reconcile that with the fact that the customers is always right, that you were supposed to go out of your way to showcase Britec Energy's second to none customer satisfaction policy?

Exactly.

So easy to run workshops about customer satisfaction, but he'd bet that not a single one of the trainers had ever been trapped in a poky flat with some middle-aged bleach blonde who didn't understand that mutton-dressed-as-lamb wasn't a compliment...

He was too embarrassed to talk about the stuff that had happened to him, but just from listening to the others bitch about the checks he surmised that he wasn't alone in the difficulties he'd encountered.

Still, no use grumbling, this was his second to last one and he had exactly one hour till his final appointment of the day.

Fingers crossed.

Soon as he saw the house he knew it was student accommodation.

Now that could be either a good thing or a very, very bad thing.

In his experience it was more often the latter.

Students were not his favourite people.

Some of the ones he'd encountered were charming and sweet individuals – on a different level to most guys of a similar age.

And then there were the other type.

These were the ones who thought that because they were wasting their parents' money, saddling themselves with debt they'd spend the next ten years paying off  they were somehow superior to anyone who worked with his hands. He had no idea why they thought an engineer or plumber disengaged their brain in order to do their job, why they thought that taking two years of a college course – very practical and vocational course – made you somehow dumber than any uni student. He knew who the dummy was in this particular equation. Half the things they went to college to study turned out to be absolutely useless and irrelevant in terms of living and working, whereas he could guarantee having work until he retired.

So yeah, who was the dummy again?

It still ticked him the fuck off though, to encounter the attitude. He swore if he were that type of person and wouldn't be risking the lives of other people, he'd rig things to give them a truly nasty surprise the next time they turned on a light or took a shower.

He just prayed to god he wouldn't meet any of those wankers today.

Just wasn't in the mood for it.

He hoped also that he wouldn't meet any of those girls who while genuinely nice, couldn't seem to help feeling that you, as a working class boy from the Black Country, would be so flattered by their attention that you'd pretty much fall in love on the spot; that having their focused attention for even the hour you were there would make your entire week; that you'd be thinking of them constantly, yearning for them.

Whatever.

A lot of them were really fit, but that slight attitude of condescension put him right off. Plus he already had a girlfriend, not that this ever appeared to be a factor with these girls. Presumably the thinking was that a nice middle or upper class girl trumped a working class girl – even if you were dating the latter and had only exchanged a few casual words with the former.

Sighing to himself he got his tools together, locked the van and made his way up the road to the house in question.

I've only just moved in, so I don't exactly know where everything is.

Don't worry, we'll figure it out between us.

The guy who'd opened the door seemed to know nothing about the appointment.

Typical.

The letter probably hadn't even been opened!

He seemed nice enough, though. An Asian guy, quite slight and very Northern.

Simon wasn't that great when it came to accents, but he guessed Yorkshire or Lancashire.

Had to be said that the guy didn't really look like your typical student, but then he wasn't entirely sure what that looked like when it came to Asian guys.

The guy looked like anyone you'd see on the street – in other words could be anything, anything at all.

Well, I need to start by asking you to turn off all your gas and electrical appliances, okay?

There must have been something in his expression because the guy laughed and said. I do know where some of the electrical appliances are, yeah.

Simon laughed even though the quip really didn't warrant a full out laugh – an amused smile would have more than sufficed. Well, we'll get on just fine then.

The guy smiled into his eyes before turning away and heading to what turned out to be the TV/communal room.

Like most student accommodation the house was fairly shabby, badly decorated and big.

As he waited for the guy to return he examined the hallway. The electrics were abysmal – as was the decorating job. Someone had cut corners in major ways.

He shook his head, wondering why so many landlords were such wankers.

The meter's out there. The guy was walking toward him, attention on the space behind him and the front door, it seemed.

Simon turned to look, before saying: Right. Could you take this, please?

Sure. Not gonna blow up in my hand or anything is it? Even as he asked he had hold of the bag and was once again smiling into Simon’s eyes,

Simon couldn't swear it had been deliberate, but the guy’s fingers had grazed the back of Simon's hand as he reached for the bag. Okay. So that's how it was? Wouldn't be the first time, and though he hadn't really been expecting it, it really didn't bother him.

Same rules applied, whether the customer was male or female.

Of course the training never took into account that there were gay people in the world and of course it was always about never giving into the blandishment of predatory (course that term was never used) women, but he'd had men interested before now. You handled it exactly the same as you would if it were a woman.

I'll need somewhere to lean on to do my paperwork if that's okay. Kitchen will do. Kitchen was always best – more impersonal.

Not sure anyone's washed up.

What? It was 4 0 clock in the afternoon! No worries. Just need a clean, flat surface I can lean on to complete the paperwork.

I'll wash up while you do what you need to.

Well, if it's not your turn...

This seemed to both surprise and delight him. Well, no, it's not, but I like a clean place so I do it anyway at times.

Shouldn't let them take advantage, though, especially with you being new and everything. If I know people they'll just take the piss at every opportunity if you let them. Just out of interest, is it just lads or are there girls living her too?

Officially just lads. He was grinning.

Simon grinned back. "Like that, eh? Bet none of the girlfriends

Reviews for The Inspection

[L'eau · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I really enjoyed the story, but the editing could have been better.