The Infinite Beach: Divine Intermission, #2

By L. David Hesler

Carl is a Mistake not in the sense that he surprised his parents by being conceived, but in the sense that he is accidentally immortal and threatens to disrupt the Cosmic Swing of Things, ushering the era of Divine Intermission.

It is for this reason that he has been hurried to another reality in order to meet a retired deity. With the proper help, he might be able to set the universe right.

But first, he must survive his time on the Infinite Beach, where he may have garnered the attention of something much more sinister than an impending cosmic cataclysm...

• Language: English
• Publisher: L. David Hesler
• Release date: Aug 5, 2017
• ISBN: 9781386739371

L. David Hesler

L. David Hesler is an author of horror, fantasy, and science fiction for teen and adult readers. He currently produces the horror fiction podcast Bad Notes; he also co-produces the Be Mega Podcast, where he spends a few hours every week creating absurd super heroes with his friend Adam Martens. When he isn’t crafting weird tales, he is either pounding away on a Schecter guitar in his home studio or he’s trying to catch up on a reading list that’s been growing since 1995. L. David Hesler’s work includes the short story collection “Prismatica,”the ongoing novella series “Divine Intermission,” and the YA fantasy novel, “Children of Aerthwheel.” His poetry and short fiction have appeared in the literary magazines “New Wine,” “The Ivy Review,” and “State of Imagination.” His original play “Public Domain” was produced in 2012. He has also published the YA fantasy adventure “Roswell Newton,” a re-imagining of his own independently produced web comic “The Adventures of Roswell Newton.” Hesler has also written and performed music for several alternative rock albums with the bands DeepSkyTraveler and The Pale Hypnotic. In 2011, he released an album of music inspired by his novel “Children of Aerthwheel.” Occasionally, he performs live music in the virtual world of Second Life. For approximately seven years, Hesler was heavily involved in local theater to the point that he co-founded a production company that ran performances of “The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged)” from 2000 to 2003. As you read this text, he’s probably thinking of ways to simultaneously give you goosebumps and make you giggle. Be warned.

Book preview

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The Eternal Scrolls of Eld and Such were written in a vacuous pocket of time and space called the Sock of Crumb.

There’s no real explanation for this name, so don’t go digging for one.

The pocket does not resemble a sock. Also, it does not have anything to do with crumbs or a being called Crumb.

Nonetheless, it is an important place. It is between everything. It is the place that gods forget and humans rarely see.

Only one creature resides within this pocket realm and its name is Blorgph. It resembles a molten jelly mold with nineteen eyes and an oblong stalk that many mistake for a coat rack or misplaced vegetable.

Before time was even imagined, Blorgph was assigned the distinguished duty of protecting the Eternal Scrolls of Eld and Such, which contain a series of hard to understand prophesies and cryptic passages regarding the Cosmic Swing of Things.

There are also several interesting verses pertaining to rare cheeses, but this is quite irrelevant.

It is unclear exactly who wrote the prophetic verses found within the Eternal Scrolls of Eld and Such. Since so few beings, immortal or otherwise, have been given the opportunity to read the book, this is a question that will remain largely unanswered.

The first and final passages of the Scrolls are identical. This is most likely because the unknown and ancient author really didn’t know how to properly begin or end an interesting piece of literature.

The first and final passages read, The Creator sighed and there was life. Things were good for most of an hour. When the Creator sighed again, it was as a massive inhalation of breath and life was robbed from the great void once more. All that remained was an ever-lasting soul. And its name was Carl.

1.

So, this is the plan?

It is, the voice from the void said, although now the voice had a definite source. Instead of merely existing as a disembodied voice, it was a voice accompanied by a healthy, if not slightly insignificant body. In fact, the body was that of a rat's, complete with fur, whiskers, tail, and overbite.

This is a bad plan if you ask me, Carl said. He rolled his eyes and leaned his head against a cold boulder. And I don't even know what the point is. Look at me, I'm talking to a rat.

The rat bit Carl’s finger. Nobody asked you. Besides, I'm not just a rat. If you're going to make it through this, you're going to need me around. So drop the attitude.

Oh sure, you've helped a lot. You just dropped me into the mountains from about twenty miles in the sky. That hurt like hell, man.

I told you it would.

Carl looked at the bone protruding from his shoulder, the ragged flesh that now looked suspiciously like the mountains in which they were hiding. There was some blood, too.

Shouldn’t I be dead? he asked the rat.

Carl’s attention was quickly yanked away from his inability to die.

He became much more concerned with what appeared to be a tribe of twenty or thirty blond