Illicit Kisses: Stirling Bay

By Kimberly Quinn

I've always been the outsider. The antihero. The guy who's only good for a good time.  

But losing my ex has made me see things clearly.  

I want my life back. To be the kind of man worthy of not only her love, but her respect. To do right by my son, and fulfill the promise I made to a dying man.  

Only, two chance encounters flip my carefully laid plan upside down.  

Chantel's allure and Sean's charming seduction make me question everything—my commitment to rekindling my relationship, my own desires, and my place in this small town.  

Both are impossible to forget and harder still to resist. 

With them, I'm someone new, and something I've always craved to be. The real me. 

Now, I must choose... Hold onto the promise I made and a love that's already lost, or move on with two new lovers. Take a gamble and lose the life that I've built. Or miss the chance and lose myself.  

Either way, the biggest risk might just be my heart. 

• Language: English
• Publisher: North Mile Books
• Release date: Jun 1, 2017
• ISBN: 9780995855229

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Copyright © 2017 by Kimberly Quinn

Published by North Mile Books

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical, electronic, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, organizations, places, events, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

Cover design by KiWi Cover Design Co.

Proofread by The Beta Buddy

Vellum flower icon Created with Vellum

CONTENTS

Note From The Author

JULY

DECEMBER

MAY

AUGUST

SEPTEMBER

DECEMBER

Acknowledgments

About the Author

NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR

This book was originally published in 2017, under my former name, Kim Bailey. Why the name change? I could probably write an entire novel about that topic, but the short answer is that a dude did me wrong and I just happened to share a last name with him.

A lot of changes were necessary.

While the book has had a facelift, it is still the same story underneath. If you’ve read it before, you may wish to skip it this time. Or (if you’re like me), you might not remember it and decide to read it again. If you’re brand new to this story, read on! Either way, I hope you enjoy it.

Another, equally important thing to note is that this book takes place in a fictional town in Ontario, Canada. If you notice a misplaced U or an extra L or two, please know this is intentional (it’s Canadian spelling). For added fun, you’ll also find some Canadian French sprinkled in. I’m letting my Canadiana shine.

Much love,

Kimberly

www.kimberlyquinnbooks.com

For the broken, the unrequited, and those who’ve lost.

Love yourself first. It’s the best we can do.

JULY

Backyard barbecues would never be the same, and it was a goddamn shame. Meat, beer, and good friends were always a winning combination.

But this?

This had no business being called a barbecue. This should have just been labeled what it was—an experiment in torture.

The burgers were fine, but there was no beer, and other than my kid, Hunter, who was too busy turning eleven to notice me, there wasn’t a friendly face in sight.

And it was a big backyard, filled with a lot of people.

I was there because Sylvie Anderson had invited me to celebrate my son’s birthday. I didn’t really know the Andersons, except for Eric, but he was dating the mother of my child, so we weren’t exactly friends.

Should I have said yes to his mother’s invitation or politely declined? Hang out with my ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend’s entire family or miss a party for my kid…

What kind of choice was that?

I could have said no and looked like the asshole who didn’t want to spend time with his child. The guy who still carried a torch for his ex-girlfriend. The deadbeat who couldn’t get his shit together.

Or I could stand around this lacklustre party in awkward silence as the outcast who couldn’t remember everyone’s name. The guy they’d all hoped wouldn’t actually show up.

Maybe the right answer was hard to find because it didn’t exist.

No matter what, I was the loser.

It didn’t help that it felt like they were scrutinizing every gesture I made. Every word I said. Like the entire thing was a test, and they were all just waiting for me to fuck it up.

So, choices like this—showing up for the sake of my kid—were the most important. It was the type of decision I forced myself to make, no matter how painful. To prove that I could.

To prove myself worthy of being around my own son.

It was maddening as hell to be in this position. To feel weak, have no power, and have my choices taken away from me.

It fucking sucked.

Even if I was bad at deciding, I at least wanted the option to try. To have free-fucking-will.

Authority wasn’t just part of my job as a cop, it was a part of my personality, and having it felt mandatory to me. Yet from the moment my son was conceived, I’d had no say in his life, no input on how he was raised, and no option where he lived.

No fucking opportunity to be there for him.

It was a miracle I’d kept a level head about it for as long as I did.

As much as I wanted to take on the role of father—in more than just the literal definition—parenthood had thrown a giant wrench into my cog of control. Until now, I’d fooled myself into believing I had everything in order. Right up until the moment I’d stood in front of Jamie’s dying father and made a promise to try.

A promise to do more. To be more.

I’d believed if I kept working hard enough, Jamie would be mine again. I convinced myself that I’d be able to win her back and that we’d raise our son together.

Eventually.

She’d finally allowed me into my son’s life, but even after a year of being hands-on with him, I still didn’t know the right way to act. The right things to do. Or say.

Nothing felt right anymore. I was a stranger in my own damn skin.

It was a bit like missing a button on a favourite shirt—you wanted to keep wearing it, but couldn’t help obsessing over the spot where you knew that damn little circle should be.

So, Dylan, how’s life in law enforcement treating you? Eric’s brother-in-law, whatever the hell his name was, asked out of boredom.

It was one of those annoying things people asked to be polite, not because they were genuinely interested. The truly frustrating part? This schmuck was as much an outsider here as me.

He’d been hanging around the edges of the party, neglected and forlorn. Even his own wife, Celeste, had studiously ignored him. He was a loser.

We were now a loser party of two.

Work’s good. I’ve been thinking about moving up from the local force to Provincial, I said, aiming for congenial, but sounding more like a bitter fucking ass.

You’re applying to the O.P.P.? a sweet, lilting voice, asked from behind me. A voice that I knew belonged to my gorgeous ex-girlfriend, Jamie.

A voice that made me feel both excited and sick at the same time.

I was surprised that she’d been able to sneak up on me—my senses were all finely honed to zero in on her, no matter where she was. The fact that she was now at my side, and I hadn’t felt her coming, proved I really was off my game and extremely far out of my element.

Of course, Eric followed right alongside her. He still didn’t trust me to be alone with her. I was a police officer who had the trust of the entire community, but none from this guy.

Still, I had to give credit where it was due. He was smart to keep his eye on me.

Not that I hated him or anything. I’d help him change a flat, consider lending him money, and I’d save his life if it came down to it. He could trust me with just about anything.

Just not with Jamie.

The Ontario Provincial Police? That’s a demanding and possibly dangerous line of work. Not everyone’s cut out for that, the brother-in-law, with the name I couldn’t remember, probed for more.

I guess. Hadn’t really thought of it that way. Guess I’m not the kind of guy who’s easily scared off. A sly smirk pulled at the corner of my mouth as my gaze shifted to Eric.

I knew it wouldn’t go unnoticed, but I couldn’t help myself—I enjoyed antagonizing the guy.

Our ongoing feud was low key. I’d deliver an underhanded jab, disguised as an innocuous comment, he’d throw back a poorly veiled threat. It might have been childish, but it gave me the feeling I had some semblance of control.

I needed that.

Dylan’s always been a risk taker, Jamie cut in, flashing a warning glare my way. Why don’t you tell John about the other things you do, Dylan? Like the volunteer stuff at the mission?

John, that was the loser brother-in-law’s name. No