Resilience Not Included

By Beth A. Terry

Busy parents will appreciate this common sense, practical approach to child rearing. Packed with vital information, techniques and tools, the book is organized for quick reference. With humor and creativity, Beth Terry answers a centuries-old question: "How can I make sure my kids will survive a crazy, mixed up world? (And not come back home to live as adults!)" Adults will gain valuable information for their own life success as well.

• Language: English
• Publisher: eBookIt.com
• Release date: May 10, 2017
• ISBN: 9780967476971

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Copyright © 2017 by Beth A. Terry, CSP

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed Attention: Permissions Coordinator, at the address below.

The author has made every effort to provide accurate contact information at the time of publication. Neither the publisher nor the author is responsible for changes that occur after publication. The author and publisher do not have any control and do not assume responsibility for accuracy of third party websites or their content.

Beth A. Terry/Lezard Press

3317 E. Bell Road, Suite 101, Box 203

Phoenix, Arizona/USA 85032

https://bethterry.com

Publisher’s Note: This is a work derived experientially and supported with extensive research. Some stories have been combined to help make the point. Names, characters, places, and incidents are a product of the author’s personal experience. Locales and public names are sometimes used for atmospheric purposes. Any names used are by permission. Other examples, names and stories may contain representations of composite people. The resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or to businesses, companies, events, institutions, or locales is completely coincidental.

Book Layout ©2017 BookDesignTemplates.com

Ordering Information:

Quantity sales. Special discounts are available on quantity purchases by corporations, associations, and others. For details, contact the Special Sales Department at the address above.

Resilience Not Included: Helping Your Kids Learn to Bounce Back/ Beth A Terry, CSP. First Edition April 2017

1. Child rearing. 2. Parent and Child. 3. Resilience

Printed in the United States of America

ISBN 978-0-9674769-7-1

Other Books by Beth Terry

Walking in A Crowd of Angels: An Inspirational Collection

101 Ways to Make Your Life Easier (out of print)

27 Secrets of Management Success

Thinking About Thinking: The Kaleidoscope Effect

Dedicated to the many children I’ve helped raise over the past four decades. Thank you for your patience as I learned how to be a parent and family leader. It’s not always easy, but you made it interesting and one of the best experiences of my life. Special thanks to the bio-parents for allowing me to be a part of your children’s lives.

Dedicated also to Dr. John Rosemond for writing so many sane and wise books that gave me direction and guidance during very challenging times as I learned to be a good role model and stepmother.

Give your children regular, daily doses of Vitamin N. This vital nutrient consists simply of the most character-building two-letter word in the English language No... Unfortunately, many, if not most, of today's children suffer from Vitamin N deficiency. They've been overindulged by well-meaning parents who've given them far too much of what they want and far too little of what they truly need.

~ John Rosemond

§

"Beth, honey, I want you to have character, not be one!"

~ Condon Terry, Beth’s Dad

Table of Contents

Preface

CHAPTER 1

How Resilience Shows Up

Children Grow At Their Pace

Give Up A Little Control

CHAPTER 2

Communicate Clearly With Kids

Use Smart Words To Create Cooperation

Hold Regular Family Meetings

CHAPTER 3

Discipline Creates Strong Kids

Have, Create and Model Boundaries

Be Fair And Consistent

Don’t Make Threats If You Won’t Follow Through!

Discipline With Love

Pick Your Battles

Food Addendum

CHAPTER 4

Create Agreements With Your Spouse

Handling Disagreements

CHAPTER 5

Expectations Talk

Model What You Expect

CHAPTER 6

Encourage and Expand Body-Mind-Soul

Encourage Potential

Catch Them Doing Things Right

Expose Kids To Different Cultures And Ideas

Children Benefit From Doing Chores

CHAPTER 7

Teach Kids To Think Critically

Critical Thinking Questions

CHAPTER 8

Teach Kids About Money

CHAPTER 9

Focus On The Future

Spoiling Your Kids Ruins Their Future – Knock It Off!

Spoiled Milk And A Lesson

CHAPTER 10

Teach Respect

Respect Your Children’s Teachers

Respect Your Kids

Respect Your Spouse/Partner

Respect Authority

Respect The Biological Parents

CHAPTER 11

Play

Have Fun Together

CHAPTER 12

Finally: Remember

A View From The Future

APPENDIX

HOUSE CLEANING CHORES

HOUSE RULES

Rules For Our House And For A Happy Life

Letter From My Girls About Their Upbringing

A Letter I Wrote To A Friend About Being A Stepparent

Quotes

Acknowledgments

Resources and Notes

No Kids? Think Again!

I discovered in my twenties I was unable to have children. God had other plans, however, and over three decades I wound up with seven stepchildren, numerous Godchildren, and several Hanai kids (a type of Hawaiian informal foster system. No government, you just agree to take the kids for a time when the parents can’t.)

In that time I learned how to raise children and learned about myself. I made mistakes. I stumbled on successes. There were hard lessons about Love, Discipline, Fairness, Justice, and the fragility of Certainty. I fell in love with all the children in my care. To this day I have a great relationship with many of them. This is a practical guide to how we did it.

Perhaps this is the most important lesson: self-reliance and resilience are two sides of the same coin. Through the trials and errors of raising OPK’s (other people’s kids) I saw the more self-reliance they developed, the more resilient they grew to be, and the better they could handle the slings and arrows of Life. We do our kids and ourselves no favors when we make them too dependent upon us. That’s an ego trip. Our job is to be such great parents that our kids can venture into the world alone and make it successfully. (How else will they come back and support you in your old age? Think ahead!)

I’ve been fortunate to see the fruits of my