Bumble on the Maze

By Porphyro

I suppose you can say I’ve two left hands. Yes, go on and take a look at my drawings. “My god!” you say. “The utter lack of dexterity! This...person! This doof! He must have two left hands. He must!” I’ll draw you a straight line, but we’ll have to call it a squiggle.

Unfortunately, I’m not much better at writing either. Or thinking, for that matter. So I suppose if you say I’ve two left hands, you must also mention my two left brains.

Anyway, the main question of this work is: “What would life be like if this world were an actual maze?” Basically, I’m taking the philosopher’s premise--that life is something to FIGURE OUT--and treating it literally.

Or, well, that was the intention. What came out was...jeez oh jeez, I don’t know.

How can you tell whether or not life is a maze? I don’t suppose you can until you find the exit. The Buddha supposedly found the exit. And what happened to him? Did he POOF! off into nonexistence? Did he ascend to some higher realm? I don’t know. I’ve never met the guy. In fact, I’ve never met a single Buddhist--not like him (you know, an actual one). I’ve never met a single Christian either.

Well I suppose you can certainly tell which ones among us have stopped looking. Aye, it only takes a quick glance to see which one of us have convinced ourselves there’s nothing in life worth striving for--that happiness is being content with whatever utter mediocrity constitutes the ever-present Now. Yes, you can tell us apart by our big stomachs, our sleepy arguments, and our gluttony for distraction. You can--

--but where is this all even coming from? Aren’t I supposed to be selling you something right now?

Well, I suppose I have to say it eventually: give me your buck and be on your way.

My apologies if the file is difficult to read and/or manipulate; you can’t expect someone with a two-left-handed existence to be competent with gizmos and gadgets. That would require a Right mind.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Porphyro
• Release date: Oct 10, 2016
• ISBN: 9781370300808

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