Soul Sketches: How to Craft Meaningful and Authentic Eulogies

By Elaine Voci and Ph.D.

This book is written for writers of eulogies and for those who choose to answer the question, after someone they loved and admired has died, "What does this life teach me about how I wish to live the rest of my days?"

Eulogies are essentially hopeful rituals that make grief more bearable.
Because eulogies are about the deceased, but for the living, they can help us prepare to live more intentionally, with an appreciation of life and with respect for the Great Mystery of death and beyond.

Eulogies draw us into a sense of community at a time when we may feel alone, and when all we have left are our memories to bring us comfort. Eulogies add to those memories and help our healing begin.

• Language: English
• Publisher: eBookIt.com
• Release date: Sep 27, 2016
• ISBN: 9781456627492

Elaine Voci

ELAINE VOCI is a life coach, grief group facilitator, and the author of Bridge Builders: Ordinary Women Doing Extraordinary Things and Creating the Work You Love: A Guide to Finding Your Right Livelihood. She lives in the Midwest with her spouse.

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PREFACE

This e-book has two purposes:

(1) To offer practical advice and encouragement for writers and, especially, inexperienced ones, who are called upon to compose a eulogy, or who wish to write one for themselves as part of getting their affairs in order.

(2) To offer trained funeral celebrants inspiration and useful insights into the art of writing soul sketches (also known as memorial portraits) that combine a creative process with organizing images.

My hope is that readers will increase their competence and confidence in order to compose and deliver eulogies that ring true to the family members who hear them.

Note: I have included a guide to writing obituaries although it is common practice for funeral homes to offer to assist families in completing this task. I included a number of interesting examples that demonstrate how widely obituaries can differ. The guide can also be used to write a self-obituary, something that more and more Boomers seem to find of interest.

CHAPTER ONE: Death in the Modern World

If we have been pleased with life, we should not be displeased with death,

since it comes from the hand of the same master. - Michelangelo

All living things die one day; mortality comes to all of us without exception. As the saying goes, No one gets out of life alive. Americans, sadly, live in a culture that is death-phobic. It hasn’t always been that way. One hundred years ago, most people died at home; a black wreath was placed on the front door to announce to passersby that someone in the family had died. To express their sorrow, family members wore black arm bands, and dressed in black for a few weeks, months, or longer. The women in the family washed, dressed and placed the body of the deceased in a simple wooden coffin, often made by the men in the family, in preparation for holding a wake in the living room. The men in the family dug the grave and sometimes carved the grave stone and a committal service was held at the grave site. The death of a loved one was managed by the family with supportive contributions from neighbors and friends to feed them and spend time with them as they mourned. Death was familiar to most people, and it was understood as an inevitable part of the human journey. (The journey was short: the average life expectancy of men and women in 1900 in the U.S. was 50 years of age.)

Today when someone dies it is more likely to be in a hospital or a hospice than at home. Funeral responsibilities are usually managed by a funeral home director who helps the family select a coffin, the deceased’s clothing, the place of viewing,