Wearing Confidence: Just Disregard the Impossible Whilst Being Creative

By Agnes Nsiiro and Raymond Aaron

This book will reenergize your burning desires by convert your skills and talents into something more powerful and highly valued by those who want to support you. Being happy and successful is about finding out what works for you and doing as much of that as you can, while diminishing your excuses for not making progress.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Sep 9, 2016
• ISBN: 9781772770971

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER ONE

MINDSET

THE FOUR LEADERSHIP QUADRANTS

Mistakes are a great starting point for discovery, for correction, for experience, for transformation, for learning and gaining strength. It works better for you to discover your own potential than you focusing on others pointing out your own mistakes. People telling you stories of their own disappointment in you without giving you any suggestions for improvement, may numb your self worth, which could effect your progress to be a better version of you. You will always be developing and competing with yourself, whereas everyone or everything around you is just ideas of the things that could be inspiring you to be or do better in your life.

There are four leadership quadrants that can help define the type of person you are. Whether you are a leader or a follower, the concepts that other leaders come up with guide you to your own conclusions. The four leadership quadrants are described in four words, which are conceive, create, connect and control. If you feel you cannot conceive an idea to do something, or better still have an idea presented to you that helps improve your or someone else’s experience, then the only option will be to dismiss it, which would mean that you will leave the idea development to someone else. Coming up with ideas is just a way of coming up with solutions that you think may work for you or others.

If you feel you cannot create something, whether it be a product, service or an event that gives value or joy to someone else, then you won’t even be bothered to make the effort to try and create something meaningful for your prospective client. Also, if you think you cannot create the lifestyle you want, then the only option will be for you to leave that to someone else who would be more than happy to create your lifestyle for you. Creating something meaningful does take effort, and time to process and commit to anything you want to achieve in your life. Leaders who love to create tend to want to govern their invention and be credited for their concepts because they see a gap in the market for the products and services they can create. These types of leaders may need to team up with people who can connect their products to the right market to portray a powerful, positive brand identity.

If you feel you can connect your words, ideas, emotions and have the personality to connect with individuals or to groups of people, cultures, collectively, then you will not waste your time connecting with and understanding people at a deeper level. If you are missing out on the chance to collect contact details at networking opportunities because you feel you have nothing to offer them, then you may even dismiss having anything to do with developing a brand for yourself. You miss out on receiving value from other people who could help you understand what you could offer to those you want to connect with. Development of new relationships, careers and businesses is based on you being able to connect with people by learning, developing and growing from those experiences. Some people miss out on the opportunity to develop because they base the beliefs on past failed relationships as a reason to not try again or connect with new relationships that may work out well for them. Great leaders who can notice a gap in the market will find a way to connect with innovators, producers, marketers and investors and to neutralize ageism, racism, sexism or even tribalism.

If you feel you cannot control your emotions, your habits, people, events, projects or something significant to you, then you will feel powerless. You may allow someone else to take control of your circumstances. However, then you could come up with beliefs that make you feel helpless and powerless with the feeling of being restricted, so you may act out to seek attention in some way to gain back control. You could feel that you cannot help anybody and you cannot bring value to anyone’s life because you have distorted your beliefs to fit your past experience and not your future opportunities by not empowering your self-esteem. Leave the blame game out of the equation so you get to be proactive about the consequence of your outcome. People who invest their time and values into anything meaningful want to control the outcome of those results to their approval, so their work becomes more significant and rewarding to them.

If you feel you are lacking in two or more of these leadership quadrants you will be the kind of person who would say I wish I could do this…..I wish I could do that….I wish I could have done that fully knowing that you will mostly likely never realize your desired aspiration. In your mind your fears become more real to you because you fear what you cannot conceive, create, connect and or control. The secret to conquering your fear is by asking for help in the area you need to work with and not become imprisoned by the word impossible.

Leaders, on the other hand, try and manage all four leadership quadrants. Some powerful leaders find a way to leverage on all four leadership quadrants with other people’s help to achieve their goals. If leaders cannot conceive an idea they will listen for those people who complain about something and see how they can improve their lives. If leaders cannot create something they will find other people with the acquired skills to do what they don’t know how to do or do not want to do. If leaders cannot connect emotionally to others, they will find people who are great at doing PR work. Most of all a leader will find a way to wear confidence to show that they can control the outcome of their objectives and goals. Leaders who feel empowered find people who are great at creating systems that connect ideas, people and branding together so the system runs effectively without them needing to control everything. Leaders need to be competent in directing, commanding greatness from themselves and others to create win-win opportunities. Wearing confidence is about finding solutions for you and the consumer.

The higher the energy you have, the more productive you can become. Think about any activity you are involved in, think about all the successful people in the world who usually perform with high levels of energy and passion. Leaders find a way to increase their game all the time to get more energy, to keep going, to keep achieving since this world is just a big playground. The lower energy you have the less productive you can be, and those around you could feed off that same non-productive energy which could pulverize your team. There will be things you like and things you dislike and everyone will go through ups and downs. However, the level of your energy will determine how you handle the outcomes. Life will keep delivering to you endless things for you to develop and work on. Do not let negative situations put you off from developing and experiencing more than what you may have had in the past.

Imagine two men, named Steve and Dave, in their early forties, who both get to work every weekday at 8.30am. Both men went to the same school and still continue to live in the same neighborhood. Dave is the most laid-back last-minute type and Steve likes to be prepared and to be early so he is not stressed by the idea of missing out on anything. Both men are married to great women and both men have two young children to raise. Steve likes to get ready at least two hours before he need to be anywhere; he spends 30 minutes doing an intense workout that gets his energy levels high and pumped up while listening to uplifting music to get his mind set for the day in a positive way. He schedules time to have breakfast with his family, so he can connect with his kids before they go to school and with his wife before she goes to work. He feels prepared to handle the world before he gets to work.

On the other hand, Dave has a habit of complaining about a lot of things. He complains about the kids being too loud and his wife being too needy, the weather being too cold or too wet; he complains about how there is too much traffic in the mornings, he evens complains about the people at work complaining about him. He reads the morning paper and the section he likes to read is on crime-related subjects that he likes to complain about as well, which sets him up for the day. Dave’s mind is mostly consumed with negative feelings and emotions. He finds it very hard to come up with something positive to say about most things or about most people, including his family. Dave feels like he has low energy; he feels tired all the time and he does not enjoy anything that he does in life. He feels powerless but does nothing about changing it. Do you know someone like this? Both of these men are very good at what they do, they earn the same amount of income and live similar lifestyles but they see life differently.

The best time of the day to start off on the right foot is when you wake up. Conceive the idea that you have something of value to offer others in your life or do something rewarding for yourself. Line up with that idea that you can create something, connect with it and take control of your feelings and emotions to make that positive outcome become REAL in your life right now. You are reading this and you are thinking yeah right, that is easy for you to say but start small and build up on your progress; it may take a few weeks or months but the point is you have started towards achieving your goals that you have set yourself.

Based on my experience and research, having high levels of unshakable energy generates high levels of productive with matching rewards given back to you. Scientists have called this the law of cause and effect. We will talk more about this later in the book.

Transformation starts with people who want to be leaders; leaders in their own homes, leaders of schools and businesses, leaders of their industry who want to be seen to be of value and making a positive impact in that environment. Transformation is spotting opportunities and knowing that opportunities are sometimes dressed up as hard work. That transformation is a paradigm shift of the leader’s mindset; understand that your emotions, thoughts and actions will impact negatively or positively on the people who are being led by you, but appreciate that the end result to leading a group of people is to get a positive outcome for you and them.

VALUES YOU BOUGHT AND SOLD

The phrase wearing confidence is just an extension of seeing confidence and hearing confidence in other people. As an example,