The Psychology of Creation: In the Beginning vs. Once Upon a Time

By L. M. Jankowski

L. M. Jankowski, following in the footsteps of renowned atheists before him, argues brilliantly how the Bible, in the crafty hands of clerics, has been used to suppress the human condition. With astounding clarity and sardonic wit, Mr. Jankowski enlightens his readers about the Bible’s abundance of cruelty, rape, murder, infanticide, genocide, incest, and an assorted menu of savagery. His savvy passages lend a master stroke of credibility in an otherwise hard to believe human-made compilation of mass controlling fairy tales. Mr. Jankowski leads you on a journey of fun-filled facts, erudite observations, and humorous conundrums that will leave you wondering and pondering “In the Beginning vs. Once Upon a Time.”

• Language: English
• Publisher: L. M. Jankowski
• Release date: Jun 3, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310110818

L. M. Jankowski

Where there is no proof, there is projection.This book is a psychological and humorous critique of the first 25 chapters of the Book of Genesis. Because religion is autobiographical and Moses claimed he talked with god, I thought the only logical recourse for this critique, based on the writings of Moses, would be a humorous one against a backdrop of psychology.If Moses had actually talked to the creator of the universe, he would have been forever known as mankind's first scientist. However, that never happened.So, what did happen?We define the world we live in, based on the world we grew up in.Through the crackling sounds of a burning bush, high atop a mountain, alone/no witnesses, Moses tapped into the voices in his head that were put there in his childhood by the people that raised him.Our gods, devils, demons, ghosts, spirits, and the monsters under our beds and in our closets, are symbolic representations of the people that raised us/hurt us. That's why one's concept of god always seems/feels so "familiar." The god of Moses didn't know anything about the universe because the people that raised him didn't know anything about the universe.In this book, my words are in (parentheses); everything else is word-for-word from the King James Version of the bible.Below, Genesis, Chapter 2 Verse 19: The original King James Version​ vs. the KJV augmented verse; augmented to make it easier to see through the nonsense and contradiction of the original.19 And out of the ground the LORD GOD formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air (the creating of the animals, take two—contradicting chapter one—the wonderful world of denial); and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them (so that’s how the kangaroo, koala bear, wallaby, wombat, and Tasmanian devil got their names—some cat from the Middle East named them. I suppose the naming of the animals went something like this: “Yo, my main man—give this thing a name.” Man clears throat and speaks first words, “Blue Whale.” “And this thing...?” “Tyrannosaurus rex.” “And this...?” “Neanderthal.”): and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof (assuming that this was done during daylight hours, how many animals did Adam have to name to get the job done? Scientists say there are anywhere between 3 million to 100 million different animal species on this planet. Each year we discover approximately 20,000 to 25,000 species. Over the course of Earth’s history, 4.54 billion years, scientists have estimated that anywhere between 1 billion and 4 billion species have existed on this planet. They say that roughly 50 million still survive today. Other estimates say that there are 8.7 million species that exist. To do the math, I’ll be using a low estimate of 15 million animal species. There are 86,400 seconds in a day. If Adam had 12 hours to name 15 million animals on that one day as his creator pulled them one-by-one from the dust of the earth and brought them to him, Adam would have had to give names to 347 animals per second. At 347 animals per second, the only thing Adam would have been able to see, would have been one continuous bellowing, screeching, squealing, screaming blur. That’s assuming that the first blast of animals didn’t first knock him down and blow him off the face of the earth. Note of interest: In the time it takes to cook a 3 minute egg, Adam would have given names to 62,500 animals).Man has always projected what he knows and what he thinks he knows onto everything he doesn’t know and has been telling stories about it long before he invented ways to write things down.I was born and raised in New Jersey. As a child I caught my share of frogs, box turtles, climbed a lot of trees, played a lot of baseball, and picked up the game of golf two summers before I graduated from high school. I acquired my first doctorate degree from Harvard University. However, I had to return it six months later after my eye doctor discovered it missing.The Psychology of Creation is my first book.

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THE PSYCHOLOGY OF CREATION

L. M. Jankowski

Copyright © 2014 L. M. Jankowski

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

THE BOOK OF GENESIS CHAPTER 1

THE BOOK OF GENESIS CHAPTER 2

THE BOOK OF GENESIS CHAPTER 3

THE BOOK OF GENESIS CHAPTER 4

THE BOOK OF GENESIS CHAPTER 5

THE BOOK OF GENESIS CHAPTER 6

THE BOOK OF GENESIS CHAPTER 7

THE BOOK OF GENESIS CHAPTER 8

THE BOOK OF GENESIS CHAPTER 9

THE BOOK OF GENESIS CHAPTER 10

THE BOOK OF GENESIS CHAPTER 11

THE BOOK OF GENESIS CHAPTER 12

THE BOOK OF GENESIS CHAPTER 13

THE BOOK OF GENESIS CHAPTER 14

THE BOOK OF GENESIS CHAPTER 15

THE BOOK OF GENESIS CHAPTER 16

THE BOOK OF GENESIS CHAPTER 17

THE BOOK OF GENESIS CHAPTER 18

THE BOOK OF GENESIS CHAPTER 19

THE BOOK OF GENESIS CHAPTER 20

THE BOOK OF GENESIS CHAPTER 21

THE BOOK OF GENESIS CHAPTER 22

THE BOOK OF GENESIS CHAPTER 23

THE BOOK OF GENESIS CHAPTER 24

THE BOOK OF GENESIS CHAPTER 25

INTRODUCTION

This book is a psychological and humorous critique of the first 25 chapters of the Book of Genesis. Because religion is autobiographical and Moses claimed he talked with god, I thought the only logical recourse for this critique, based on the writings of Moses, would be a humorous one against a backdrop of psychology.

If Moses had actually talked to the creator of the universe, he would have been forever known as mankind's first scientist. However, this never happened.

In this book, my words are in (parentheses); everything else is word-for-word from the King James Version of the bible.

THE BOOK OF GENESIS CHAPTER 1

1 In the beginning (once upon a time) God created the heaven and the earth (before that, 230 million years ago, dinosaurs had just begun to establish themselves as the dominate species. But let’s push reality to the side and get back to the story).

2 And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep (everything seems that way without a light source). And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

3 And God said, Let there be light: and there was light (because Moses couldn’t work in the dark he assumed his god couldn’t either. So, abracadabra—there was light).

4 And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness (that’s always a good idea. It’s like laundry; you never want to mix your lights with your darks. In reality, since darkness is simply the absence of light, no one has to separate anything, it happens all by itself).

5 And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day (the evening and the morning in that order would have taken place on two separate days. But why be a stickler for accuracy? If god had known his earth was round like a billiard ball, and not flat, as he and the people at that time believed, then the evening and the morning would have been irrelevant to a god that could continually move about the face of the Earth where there was daylight. If he needed to rest, he could have taken a nap on the dark side of the planet).

6 And God said, Let there be a firmament (sky) in the midst (middle) of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters (it’s like an air sandwich—water below the sky and water above the sky. For these people, the myth of the waters above explained where all that water came from when it rained. They were however, wrong. Fun fact: If the Earth was perfectly smooth, the oceans would cover the surface of the planet with approximately 1.6 miles or 8,448 feet of water. The average rainfall for the planet is 3.25 feet per year. At that rate it would have taken just 2,600 years to deplete the water supply above the sky; hence, no more rain. And what did these people think was beyond their finite water supply above—apparently nothing).

7 And God made the firmament (soon to be called heaven), and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so (when a story teller is allowed to lie at the beginning of a story, it sets precedence for them to lie throughout the story. Unfortunately, no one challenged Moses, so this bible is a lot longer than its first page. At this point, seven verses in, we have six lies—but who’s counting. Verse seven is verse six revisited).

8 And God called the firmament Heaven (just eight verses into the first chapter of Genesis and we now know, according to Moses, the exact location of heaven—between two bodies of water—one real and the other imagined). And the evening and the morning were the second day.

9 And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place (I thought the waters under heaven were already in one place—covering the face of the planet. My mistake, this god wasn’t creating a spherical planet. He was creating something flat, because as we all know, if it wasn’t flat, his people would roll off), and let the dry land appear: and it was so (Moses is using god to explain what he doesn’t understand. In essence, god is his miracle worker. Side note: Seeing something as a miracle simply means that we don’t yet know why some things happen. When we learn why things happen, we no longer see those things as miracles. Now back to the magic show).

10 And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas (if all the water was actually in one place, Seas would have to be changed to Sea): and God saw that it was good (so far god likes everything).

11 And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit (what about vegetables?) after his kind (his kind suggests that there is more than one god—three days in and god is not alone. I wonder where they all hung out before the heaven and earth was created?), whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so (if Santa Claus had set-up his operation at someplace other than on that frozen slab of ice up at the North Pole, preferably a place that wasn’t frozen solid, his underdeveloped elves might have been able to take advantage of god’s green thumbs and grown to normal size. Side note: If at any point in time I blur the line between fairytale and make-believe, I do apologize).

12 And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind (apparently god’s kind can also reproduce just like the grass, herb, and fruit): and God saw that it was good (if the bible didn’t constantly repeat itself, it could have easily been the size of a magazine. If the bible didn’t constantly repeat itself, it could have easily been… oh, never mind).

13 And the evening and the morning were the third day (I believe the vague time issues were due to their sundials’ inability to tell time without the Sun. How long were their nights? They didn’t know. These people were in the dark about a lot of things. They had no idea where anything was or how anything worked. Hence, their imaginations ran wild).

14 And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night (and god said, Let there be light, take two. Didn’t god already do all that dividing three days ago—of course he did) and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years (so far god has created two major light sources in three days that separated the light, which was called day, from the darkness, which was called night. What a brilliant oversight. At this rate, by the end of the week, there could be as many as four to five suns in the sky… but who’s counting):

15 And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth: and it was so (all this light is great, but what about the acknowledgement of an all important heat source? Not going to happen).

16 And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day (the Sun is so great that one million Earths could fit inside it if it were hollow. This great light is 93 million miles from Earth), and the lesser light to rule the night (the Moon takes an elliptical path around the Earth, therefore the average distance from Earth to Moon is 238,857 miles. What size is this lesser great light? Sixty four million Moons could fit inside the Sun. Not 64 Moons; 64 million Moons. Also, the Moon is not a light. It does however reflect the Sun’s light): he made the stars also (that he supposedly placed at the upper most part of the sky; the dome as they called it, where the sky meets the imaginary waters above. If Moses isn’t going to mention the other planets in our solar system, then I won’t either. Also, the Earth revolves around the Sun and not the other way around as Moses believed. Actually, Moses believed that the Sun magically came up in the morning and went down in the evening because god’s flat earth didn’t rotate. What the Sun did after it went down was another of the many things these people didn’t understand. But why admit ignorance when you can simply lie and sound smart. If Moses had actually talked to god, one would think that his creator would have given him the correct information. Note of interest: In our galaxy, the Milky Way, which is considered to be average is size, there are approximately 400 billion stars. In the observable universe there are approximately 200 billion galaxies. If we multiply 200 billion galaxies by 400 billion stars, we get the approximate number of stars in the known universe. In 20 years, telescope and satellite technology will be far superior to what we have and use today. Therefore, these numbers will pale in comparison to the numbers two decades from now, because, whenever we build a better telescope, we have always been able to see more).

17 And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth (if that were true, the Sun, Moon, and all those stars/suns would be the same distance from Earth—which they are not. So what does all this mean? In our solar system, the Sun is nearly 400 million times farther away from Earth than our Moon is from Earth. Alpha Centauri C is the closest star to our Sun. It is 25 trillion miles, or 4.24 light-years away. A light-year is the distance light travels in a vacuum in one year—that distance is approximately 6 trillion miles. In contrast, the furthest known star is 13.8 billion light years from Earth. Moses missed it by that much),

18 And to rule over the day and over the night (as the world’s seven year olds roll their eyes), and to divide the light from the darkness (it takes the Moon 27.32 days to complete its orbit around the Earth. Therefore, from our vantage point, the Moon passes the Sun every 27.32 days, putting the Sun and the Moon in the same sky at the same time): and God saw that it was good (at lease someone saw that it was good, although, it was all wrong. On a side note: The reason why we only see one side of the Moon at any given time is because of a process called tidal locking. Tidal locking occurs here because the Moon is positioned close enough to the Earth where the Earth’s gravitational pull causes one side of the Moon to lock onto the Earth. It took until 1959 before anyone saw the other side of the Moon, thanks to the Soviet spacecraft, Luna 3, when photographs were transmitted from the spacecraft back to Earth).

19 And the evening and the morning were the fourth day (four days in and I’m getting tired).

20 And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life (wow, in just 12 words, god created millions of unique sea creatures—making evolution look downright silly—or vice versa), and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven (and thanks to the Wright brothers, man has been flying in the open firmament of heaven since 1903. Orville and Wilbur may not have ever walked with god, but I’m sure they did get to fly with him).