Black Rose in May

By NH Bruce

Eight year old Norman discovers unfamiliar feelings for a young girl who shares his love of frogs and forests only to lose her when she moves back to Kentucky. From this early experience, he embarks on an epic pursuit for a soul mate that takes him from his hometown in Ohio west to the majestic peaks of Colorado and beyond. His journey is filled with near misses amidst a challenging dating landscape that tries even the most hopeless romantics. Despite these mishaps, the fates bless him as he is reunited with a soul he'd begun to believe did not exist. But just when his stars appear to align, the fates throw him back on his perilous journey when his love is lost just as their lives have finally turned magical. He must strive to overcome this roller coaster ride of life, love, and loss to turn his black rose in May into a path to redemption. Based on a real love story.

• Language: English
• Publisher: NH Bruce
• Release date: May 8, 2016
• ISBN: 9781311545084

NH Bruce

NH Bruce has written books in other genres but breaks free of that persona to write this tender novel about romance and love throughout a life truly worth living. His passion for writing mirrors his passion for teaching and parenting, and he brings that emotional energy to the pages he shares with his readers. He has earned a Bachelor of Science in Computer Science and a Masters of Arts in Curriculum and Instruction from the University of Colorado. After a successful career in the telecommunications and computer industries, he left technology to pursue teaching. He currently teaches mathematics in Colorado Springs, Colorado where he raises two daughters. Despite his busy schedule as soccer dad and teacher, he still finds time for his writing, and hopes his books will inspire others to pursue their own passions and dreams.

Book preview

BLACK ROSE IN MAY

By NH Bruce

BLACK ROSE IN MAY

Copyright © 2016 by NH Bruce

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in articles and reviews.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any Web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid.

Author Contact:

www.nhbruce.com

[e-mail]

WARNING: This book is not Erotica but does contain explicit scenes of intimacy between consenting adults. They are included as part of the romantic relationships between characters within the book and are intended for mature audiences only.

This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, names, incidents, organizations, and dialogue in this novel are either the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

Cover Art Credit:

Paramita Bhattacharjee

Creative Paramita

http://www.creativeparamita.com

Book Soundtrack Play List:

Spotify – BlackRoseInMay

Apple Music – BlackRoseInMay

This book is dedicated to my wife. She is my muse, my best friend, my love, and my soulmate. I miss you everyday!

Special Acknowledgements:

I want to thank all my family and friends who were so supportive through the difficult years. While we probably didn't rely on you nearly enough, knowing you were there if needed was priceless.

I also want to thank my co-workers whose extraordinary patience with me over the years has been a blessing. It is also important to mention my writing group who has been with me over the last decade offering technical support for my writing and spiritual support for my soul. Thank you for being a special part of my life and for all the work you do to help my books make it into the world. I want to make a special call out for my younger sister who was also a victim of cancer and saved our youngest sister in a pool incident used in the story for the main character. We still love and miss you. Finally, I want to thank my students and my daughters whose wonder at the world around them reminds me of what it was like to be young and so full of life. They truly live in the moment, and the innocence and humor they bring into my life is the fuel keeping me going. Namaste!

Table of Contents

Prologue

Chapter 1 – If by Bread

Chapter 2 – I Honestly Love You by Olivia Newton-John

Chapter 3 – Light My Fire by The Doors

Chapter 4 – Rocky Mountain High by John Denver

Chapter 5 – Sweet Dreams by Eurythmics

Chapter 6 – Don't You Forget About Me by Simple Minds

Chapter 7 – Take On Me by a-ha

Chapter 8 – Destination Unknown by Missing Persons

Chapter 9 – Wicked Game by Chris Isaak

Chapter 10 – Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic by The Police

Chapter 11 – Possession by Sarah McLachlan

Chapter 12 – Manic Monday by The Bangles

Chapter 13 – More Than This by 10,000 Maniacs

Chapter 14 – Beautiful by Sarah Brightman

Chapter 15 – Clocks by Coldplay

Chapter 16 – Run by Snow Patrol

Chapter 17 – Trouble by TV On The Radio

About The Author

Prologue

First and foremost, I wanted this book to be a celebration of love and life. It is a fictional account of my quest to find my soulmate, something I didn't really believe in until I found her. My intent was to capture the emotions of that quest and the time we shared together.

Unfortunately, we all experience tragic loss at some point in our lives, and I hope I have captured the difficulty inherent during those times and have shown that how we deal with them reveals true character. I am a different person since my loss, and while I may never fully recover from it, it has put me on a path to redemption and enlightenment.

Each chapter heading contains the title of a song since music was such an important part of my life. I believe we all have a soundtrack for our lives, and while this is only a snippet of the music I listened to over the years, it captures the essence of the emotional content within the story.

It is my intent readers listen to the songs just before they begin the chapters to fully experience those moments in time and feel the emotions represented therein. I have created playlists on several streaming music services so you can access the soundtrack to this book. The list of these services and their playlists is located within the front matter of this book.

Cancer has a significant role in this story, but this is not a book about cancer. In fact, I purposely tried to keep most of the details about fighting cancer out of it. While cancer has played a role in my life as it has in so many people's lives, it is not the focus of this story. This story is about relationships.

Cancer is a horrible disease impacting far too many lives, and while research is ongoing and great strides are being made, thousands still succumb to this disease everyday. For those who have survived it, many blessings to you and your loved ones, I know you enjoy life now like the gift it truly is.

For those battling it, do not forget why you are fighting or it will be for naught. Love those around you, live life to the fullest when you are able, and remember you are in all our prayers. Whatever the outcome, you are loved.

For the children fighting this terrible disease, it is the most insidious situation. I pray for them in particular as I want them to not only enjoy the wonderment of childhood, but to grow and experience all the joys life has to offer. I have been fortunate to experience those joys.

I am donating a portion of profits from this book to help support cancer research. While there was no cure for my wife, cures are happening everyday, and we must all do our part to support these efforts. As a teacher, I have modest means and can give little in that pursuit, but I can write, and hopefully this story will inspire others to donate.

My wife was a wonderful woman full of life, love, and caring for others, more so than me through the years. Near the end of her life, she was involved with the CPCD Head Start program on a belief that helping children early in their lives was a path to a better world long term. I don't think that makes her a saint but a human who cared a great deal about humanity.

I am learning from her life and trying to emulate her selflessness. As a single parent and teacher, it is nearly an imperative. We all search for meaning in our lives, and at the end of it, we all want some legacy to let others know we were here. My wife's legacy is our children, and because so much of her still lives in them, it is a legacy that will be passed down for generations.

My legacy is recounting our story of love. Everyone has a chance to find love, though in our lowest hours it may not seem like it. If you are honest with yourself and with others, you will find that special someone who will be by your side until the end. Even if they are not a soulmate, love will prevail. Enjoy our story!

If by Bread

1

Where does one start when sharing such a journey? Recounting my relationships throughout my life may seem petty and self serving, but there was a pattern hidden from me at the time that was revealed as I look back over the years.

I suppose an introduction would be the most appropriate start. My name is Norman, but most call me Norm. I was born in the winter of 1963, a turbulent time in our country's history. After escaping the precarious precipice of nuclear war the year before my birth, our country's president was gunned down in his prime. Fortunately, within my crib, I was spared from that tumultuous time.

Though my family moved around during my early years, we finally settled in a small town outside Cincinnati, Ohio. Now, don't get me wrong, I loved my youth growing up in our neighborhood, but I am more of a Western boy than a Midwestern one. I just always felt I didn't belong in Ohio and was ready to leave from the moment we moved there.

Despite that, my childhood was fulfilling and many of my interests were common for boys of the same age. Today, however, I might likely be labeled a nerd because of my early love of science. I am a curious person and will never shy away from a good intellectual debate. This early passion led me to spend many days of my youth in the woods and creeks in our little slice of southern Ohio. I still miss those woods to this day.

With a basic introduction out of the way, we can now focus on what might be called my first relationship, though at such an early age that term seems inappropriate. I had just finished the second grade and was enjoying a beautiful summer day in one of the creeks in our neighborhood. Naturally, I was frogging.

I swear it feels like a hundred and thirty, especially with the thick humidity so common in southern Ohio. Despite the temperature, the water on my feet feels cool and refreshing as I wade through the creek looking for that special leopard frog that will have the honor of being my pet for the day. I never keep them very long since discovering they don't survive outside their native environment no matter how many worms you give them. But keeping them for a day rarely did harm, and when all is said and done, the hunt and the catch are really the best part of frogging.

I am barefoot after taking off my black and white Converse sneakers along the bank. At my age, I go through sneakers like most people go through potato chips. It isn't like I can help it, I mean, what do you expect when you venture into the woods and creeks? Anyway, I always try my best to take them off when doing something particularly nasty, and the mud in this creek is that, more like puppy poo than mud.

I suddenly hear a plop to my left and instantly stop, seeking the location of the sound. Frogs aren't exactly God's smartest creatures and they use a simple technique to escape wandering predators. They jump into the water and bury themselves in the mud. I guess predators probably don't see them after that, but I have eyesight like a hawk and see their outlines as long as I don't churn up the water.

This particular frog is no different, and I slowly work my way over to its location. As predicted, its shape is clearly outlined in the mud between several cattails. I inch forward trying to keep the mud from kicking up, and when I finally pull in close, I bend down and orient my hands to make the grab.

This is the best part of the hunt, and I am determined to make this catch despite the mosquitos biting my neck. Closer and closer I inch like a praying mantis eyeing its game, and I am careful not to disturb the water lest I spook him. With my hand hovering just above the water, I make the grab. Success!

I pull my prize from the water and am pleased. He struggles to get away, but I use my other hand to secure him tightly. He and I are dripping the nasty mud so I carefully lower my hands into the water to clean us off. When I finish I stare him in the eyes.

Welcome, Mr. Frog, I am Norman. I say pleasantly.

I feel it necessary to address him formally like Mr. Toad from my favorite book The Wind in the Willows. After all, without him, my creek might not have any frogs at all. I have seen the thousands of tadpoles swimming about—Mr. Frog has been busy.

I clumsily waddle to shore holding Mr. Frog in both hands. Once out of the water, I stare intently at this marvelous creature. I turn him side to side trying to determine if I have caught him before, but there is nothing I recognize. Regardless, he will be my pet for the day.

That's a nice one. A petite southern voice says to my left.

I turn to the intruder and stare blankly. Although I don't necessarily have anything against girls, the creek was usually the one place you could depend on not finding them. I have four sisters, and none of them ever want to join me, so who is this stranger willing to risk mud and insects?

I eye her critically. She has short brown hair cut almost like a boys and wears slightly too large blue overalls cut into shorts with a red striped t-shirt. To be honest, she looks a lot like a girl version of Dennis the Menace. I don't know how to respond.

You've got a blood sucker on ya. She says pointing at my leg.

I stare at the worm-like red leech clinging precariously to my leg. They don't hurt but are kind a creepy when sucking on you.

She moves towards me and pulls out a pack of matches from her pocket. Before I can respond, she lights one and places the flame on the leech. It drops off quickly.

There, that's done it. She says smiling as she stands back up. I'm Tori, what's your name?

Tori? The name seems foreign and my usually sharp mind blanks. I'm not sure what is happening to me but I somehow manage to speak. Uh…Norman.

My mind reels, how did she know the match trick? The first signs of a leech and most girls run screaming. This one acts like she has taken them off for years. That says a lot when you're only eight.

Norman? That's a weird name. She says still smiling. Can I hold your frog, Norman?

My prize? Was she kidding? It took an hour after lunch to catch him, and I didn't want any chance for him to escape. I mean, what does a girl know about frogs?

However, I find myself handing it to her. Sure.

Have you named him? Tori asks, taking hold like a pro.

Mr. Frog. I say forcefully.

"Like The Wind in the Willows. She laughs. How do you do, Mr. Frog?"

You know that book? I ask amazed.

Sure, it is one of my favorites. She says, staring eye to eye with my prize.

Who is this girl? I've never seen her in our neighborhood before, but she likes frogs and reading the same books I do. I feel something I haven't felt for a girl before—I like her!

Tori and I spent that summer and the next searching the woods and creeks for all types of creepy crawlies. She was the ultimate tomboy, and I was her best friend. Well, at least she said I was, though my longtime friend Matt was in theory my best friend. I liked her a lot and realized girls could be okay despite the impressions my sisters gave me of them.

Was it puppy love or just friendship? I suppose you could have called it puppy love, but we never held hands, kissed, or anything. We did spend a great deal of time together talking about everything under the sun. She loved science, too, and swore she would become the one who would cure the cancer that had taken her grandmother from her.

She was the perfect companion and even got along with my friends, though a few were jealous because she inevitably caught the first critter.

How often does a boy come across a cute girl who loves the same things he does? She even caught cicadas with the rest of us. You know, those noisy bugs that come out every so many years to fill the sky with their incredible racket. It turns out they make great kites, and Tori would catch them right alongside me. To my boyhood senses, she was nearly perfect—for being a girl.

In late August that second summer, her family moved back to Kentucky. We promised to write, but I never received a letter from her with their new address. School that year just wasn't quite as fun as the year before. I missed her dearly for several months. You know, that empty pit in your stomach which up to that point I hadn't experienced. But as with most young boys, she faded into my past as I continued to grow and change. To my knowledge, she hasn't cured cancer yet, but I am still hoping.

I Honestly Love You by Olivia Newton-John

2

The year was 1977, and I had recently turned fourteen and felt ready for high school in the fall. After Tori, my relationships had been minor affairs with the typical crushes and experimentation so prevalent during those pre-teen years. But high school was the next frontier, and I imagined all sorts of fantasies about how I would woo girls and finally have sex so prevalent on my mind in those days.

Oh sure, I shared the occasional kiss and hand hold with summer sweethearts at the lake and even made out with the Kelly twins with my friend John in his apartment's laundry room. But s-e-x? Yeah, that hadn't happened yet. I had an awkward naked moment with my friend's sister on a sleep over, but that didn't really count when there wasn't touching. I was still a virgin.

At the time, I thought I was in my prime. I was playing outfield for my baseball team, still held the record for the highest brick ramp jumps with a bike on my street, and could outrun just about anyone who tried to catch me, especially bullies. What girl wouldn't want a piece of that? I even grew my hair long to try to look like Leif Garrett. Everyone else was doing it, and my best friend John, aka Casanova, said it was what the girls wanted. He'd seen it on the cover of his older sister's Tiger Beat magazine so it had to be true.

Okay, I still went frogging on occasion, but those days were slowly fading as the opposite sex occupied my mind more and more. It was the start of puberty, and I'd had my first erection, so that meant I was ready, right? But the reality was, I was still too small for my age and had a face full of freckles. While my friend John looked a lot like Leif Garrett, I still looked like Opie. John got all the girls, and I couldn't even get the time of day from his cast offs.

But was sex what I really wanted? Under the influence of those new hormones raging through my system, it seemed the most logical thing. Love? I wasn't even sure what that was or whether I even wanted it. It was a far cry from when I'd met Tori, and no one had made me feel that pit in my stomach like she had. Perhaps it had been just puppy love after all, and love was just some mythical thing made up by women to justify sex.

Fortunately, eighth grade was the least awkward year in middle school, and I thought I was in with the cool kids. After all, I could roller skate with the best, Casanova was my best friend, and he and I were an unstoppable force on the foosball table. We'd even snuck into the local drive in theater and watched an R rated movie about stewardesses who took their clothes off. For eighth grade, that was pretty cool.

Then spring break arrived and my parents took us all to the new Disney World in Orlando, Florida. Even I knew that was cool. After growing up watching The Wonderful World of Disney every Sunday night, a chance to see it in person was something everyone dreamed of. However, what happened there wasn't exactly what I was expecting.

As usual, my sisters were holding up the works. I am standing by the pool waiting for them to exit the bathroom so we can find a spot to put our stuff. We are finally going to swim at the Polynesian, a pool that looked awesome from the monorail. It has a slide and waterfall!

We are actually staying a short shuttle ride away at the Golf Resort, but due to my constant pleading, I convinced my dad to see if we could swim at the Polynesian. Apparently, the manager was more than happy to let us in for a one day swim so here I wait for my sisters.

The pool is crowded and the line for the slide looks long. I curse my sisters under my breath and finally give up. I throw my towel on the nearest empty chair and walk to the edge of the pool. That is when I see her come off the slide and splash into the pool.

She is wearing a pink floral bikini with a rich brown tan contrasting her blonde hair. She is so cute, I am speechless. Suddenly, swimming here seems better than the Haunted House ride. She swims over to the side to get back in line.

I nearly fall trying to run to the line before she gets out of the water. Her skin is so smooth and wet when she stands and shakes her hair, I nearly get excited. I wait at the end of the line and decide to play it cool as she approaches. Best to be a gentleman with a girl like this.

I am nervous as she walks up but determined to say the right thing. I go for it.

After you, please. I say spreading my arms wide and gently putting my left hand on her back to usher her up the steps.

She smiles as she walks past, but as I turn to follow, my left hand slides down her back and onto her butt. I immediately freeze in fear. Oh, my God, did I just cop a feel of her butt? It was an accident, or at least I thought it was. I was trying to be a gentleman and had let her go first, but when she had stepped up onto the path her butt and my hand collided. I imagine I am red with embarrassment.

She turns and smiles. You're cute.

I stare in disbelief at what should have been an earned slap. Nobody has ever called me cute before except my mom, but she has to. I can't respond, so she turns back and continues up the steps. I am finally prepared to say something when someone pushes me from behind.

Outta my way, dick! A gruff voice says as he pushes past me followed by two other high schoolers.

The second one gives me a nipple twist as he passes. You snooze you lose, prick.

Oww! I yell as the third one fakes a punch at me. I duck, and they all laugh as they march up the steps behind my dream girl.

I don't say a word and let others get between me and the assholes as I watch my chance to meet this girl drift further and further away. Should I follow her up the steps or wait for her to come down? I want to go down the slide and I really want to talk to her.

I finally make a decision and jump out of line heading to the side of the pool. It was going to take a little while for her to reach the top and slide down, but I am willing to wait.

Hey, Norman, where are you sitting? My sister says from behind me.

She is a distraction, so I don't respond and vaguely point to my chair.

My youngest sister waddles past and splashes in the water. She is only eight, but eyes the lava slide dubiously before looking up at me. You gonna do the slide?

I am so focused on looking for the girl, I don't quite understand her. I am probably more annoyed than anything else. After all, I didn't want to miss the girl in the bikini. What? I ask brusquely, turning towards her.

The slide? She says innocently. Will you take me down it?

Sure. I dismiss her and turn back to where the slide exits into the pool. Sure enough, I see the pink floral bikini of the girl as she splashes into the water. I wait expectantly, but she turns away towards a voice calling from across the pool.

Nikki, we got to go! The voice says.

I turn to see a woman wave her to the other side of the pool. Dang, they're leaving! I quickly try to make my way over there but am stopped by my oldest sister.

Take Sharon on the slide, please. She demands.

Can't, got to see someone. I say trying to push past, but she grabs my arm.

Bull. She says. If you don't take her, I will tell mom you left us alone for an hour.

What? I can't believe she is blackmailing me now. Maybe if I appeal to her feminine side. There's a girl. I say.

Yeah, and you have already met her, she is your sister. She thrusts Sharon's hand into mine and turns me away from Nikki.

I grit my teeth and comply. I learned a long time ago you can't win when they gang up on you. Whatever they tell mom is gospel truth in my parent's eyes even when some of it isn't true.

I slowly walk to the slide and turn to watch Nikki and her mom exit the pool area. They were probably staying at the Polynesian, and I would never see her again. I like the name Nikki and can still visualize her face and feel the curves of her behind on my hand. But more than that, I feel something in my stomach.

* * *

We'd had fun at the Magic Kingdom all day and even rode the Haunted House twice, though my two younger sisters refused to ride it. They wanted to ride Dumbo and all the kiddie rides, but I escaped with my older sisters for a couple hours of more exciting ventures.

We are slowly making our way back to the monorail and stop in one of the tourist shops lining Main Street. I hate shopping but am eyeing a t-shirt with Donald Duck on it, my favorite character. Since I was about six, I could do a pretty respectable imitation of Donald.

But I can't get the girl off my mind. She was so cute and had told me I was cute. She must have liked me. How would I ever find her? Disney World is an enormous place, and the odds of two individuals randomly meeting were about as high as winning the remote controlled airplane playing skeeball. I feel depressed and even Donald doesn't cheer me up.

I grab the shirt anyway and head to the counter. I walk through the rope maze and take my place in line. I can't help but picture her in my mind, and that bikini, very hot. I should have ignored my sister and just went and talked with her. Great plan except I am kind of shy. Even if I had made it to the other side of the pool, I probably would have frozen in fear and looked like an idiot. I have to face the facts. I am brave in theory but rarely in practice.

The line moves quickly, and I shuffle along in a malaise. Suddenly, I feel a hand on my butt as a voice speaks from behind.

Your turn. It whispers.

I turn to look, and Nikki smiles back at me. Thanks. Is all I can say as I move toward the impatient girl waving at me from the counter.

Knowing me, I am probably beet red again, but I somehow manage to give her the t-shirt while not looking at the girl I have been dreaming about all day. I hand the clerk my money and try to sneak a peek, but she isn't in line anymore. Dang!

You're short a quarter. The girl says with even greater impatience.

Wha…let me check. I say as I dig through my pockets for change, but I am completely out of money.

Sorry. I say shrugging apologetically.

Here, use this. Nikki says from behind me as she hands the clerk a dollar. I turn and look into her smiling face. Looked like you needed some help.

Yes, thank you, Nikki. I say cautiously.

You know my name? She asks confused.

Oh, yeah, I heard your mom calling you at the pool. I say trying not to sound like some sort of creep.

She grabs her change and I grab my bag and follow her out onto Main Street. What is your name? She asks.

Norman. I reply quietly.

Norm okay? She asks.

Yeah, that's what my friends call me. I say.

She laughs lightly and I am mesmerized by her beautiful blue eyes hiding behind a pair of pink glasses. She is wearing a blue skirt with a white top, and I can just make out an outline of a brassier beneath it. She is even more beautiful than I remember.

I can be your friend. She says casually. I'm from Minnesota, where you from?

Ohio. I say. Cincinnati.

We're just outside Minneapolis, a place called Eagan. You ever heard of it? I shake my head. That's okay, few people have. How old are you?

Just turned fourteen. I say. And you?

I'll be twelve next month. She admits. But I am in seventh grade. I skipped a grade on account of my math skills. She laughs. My dad says I will be an accountant considering how good with numbers I am.

An accountant? I ask.

You know, they keep track of everyone's money. She says.

You can be my accountant. I say nervously.

I think I just was. She laughs as she flicks my bag.

Oh, yeah. I laugh. I owe you a quarter. Don't worry, I'll pay you back.

I like ice cream. She says with a grin.

It takes me a minute before I get what she is angling at. Hey, yeah, let me check with my parents.

Me, too. She says as we head back into the store. Back here in five.

I finally locate my mom who is trying to console my youngest sister who wants a stuffed Minnie Mouse instead of a t-shirt.

I need money for ice cream and can I just meet you guys back at the hotel? I blurt out.

What? She says. Where are you going?

I met someone, and we are going to get ice cream before going back to the hotel. I say sounding a little too desperate.

Her eyebrows rise knowingly. A girl?

I frown. Yes, a girl. Can I go?

She smiles and hands me a ten. Don't be too long.

I don't even respond as I grab the ten and head back outside. Nikki is waiting but looks sad. I got the money. I say hopefully.

I can't go. She says quietly. We're leaving.

But I can take you back to the Polynesian. I offer desperately.

They would never let me do that with an older boy. She says almost angry. They think I'm still a kid. Heck, I babysit the neighbor kids all by myself.

They don't trust you? I ask.

"No,