Divorce and the Christian Woman: Breaking the Chains of Marriage

By Rev. Dr. A. L. Carpenter

This book will demonstrate that you, as a Christian woman, have the fundamental right to divorce your husband at any time, for any reason, without explanation or justification. Your marriage is not a covenant relationship governed by the ministers of the Church. There is not a single verse in the entire Bible that forces a woman to remain in any relationship against her consent. God does not hate divorce and you are not the lifelong servant of your husband. Marriage is a relationship between two people that is completely voluntary from beginning to end.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Rev. Dr. A. L. Carpenter
• Release date: Dec 21, 2015
• ISBN: 9781310369872

Rev. Dr. A. L. Carpenter

Dr. Carpenter is a graduate of California Baptist University, Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary and San Francisco Theological Seminary. In addition to his academic work Dr. Carpenter has been a pastor of numerous churches and his career as a minster spans over 40 years. He may be contacted at [e-mail].

Book preview

Introduction

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.

— Plato

The thesis of this book is simple: You, as a Christian woman, have the right to divorce your husband at any time, for any reason, or for no reason. You do not need to provide an explanation, apology, rationalization, or justification to anyone. This freedom is a basic fundamental human right that cannot be taken from you by the doctrines of the church.

For thousands of years men have used the Bible to claim it is the will of God that a woman abandon her strength, independence, and self-identity upon the day she marries. The woman is expected to become a willing helpmate to her husband and she must be servile and submissive to his authority. She is to acknowledge him as the high priest of the home and teach her children to do likewise. Once she enters into the marriage relationship she is provided no way of escape, other than death. Freedom to divorce her husband is denied. If, for some reason she escapes a brutal husband, it is expected of her to return to him and be reconciled, as this is the way a forgiving Christian woman should behave. Such a picture of marriage cannot be of God nor should his name be used in conjunction with such treatment of women.

The Bible is being misused as a manual on marriage and divorce. As a result, the Christian woman is told whom she can marry, how she is to conduct herself in marriage, how long she must remain married, when she can divorce, under what terms she can divorce, why she should reconcile, and if she is to be allowed to remarry. If she violates any of these rules, threats of divine punishments are said to follow her until she repents. In this book you will find that a woman does not become the faithful, servile servant to her husband by virtue of marriage. She is free before marriage, during marriage, and is free to end her marriage any time and for any reason. This book will show that there is nothing in the entire Bible that restricts a woman’s freedom in marriage or prevents her from divorcing her husband for any reason. The Bible is not, nor was it ever intended to be, a manual on marriage and divorce.

The church has built its interpretation of marriage on the very foundation of inequality. Men rule, women obey, until death; this is the definition of marriage according to universally accepted church doctrine. Under such a definition marriage is predisposed to be a place of discontent for women. It is no surprise that divorce among Christians has always been higher than among atheists and it is no surprise that up to ninety percent of all divorces are initiated by the woman.

The church considers marriage to be a divine institution and that is to be one man for one woman for one life. This book will show that it is not possible for marriage to be a divine institution and in fact marriage is common, mundane and ordinary. Marriage is like any other relationship other than it has legal ramifications. If marriage were one man for one woman for life, then the institution of marriage would become tantamount to human bondage. Any time a woman is held against her will it is equivalent to human bondage. To imply marriage was intended by God to be a lifelong arrangement is to say He joins those men who believe they own their wives, for life. It is men, not God, who have imposed lifetime internment of a woman in marriage against her will. There is not a single sentence in the Bible, when rightfully interpreted, that denies a woman her right to divorce her husband.

In the United States to detain someone against their will is a crime in all fifty states. It is illegal and immoral to hold someone against his or her consent. However, the church feels it is completely acceptable to use the Bible and the authority of the name of God, to force a woman to remain in her marriage under threat of divine punishment. The church, its ministers, and its doctrines deny a woman her right to divorce if she so chooses to do so. One man for one woman for life is the standard doctrine of the church in regards to marriage. It sounds like the dreadful pronouncement of a sentence of confinement.

This book is written for a specific audience. The intended audience of this book is Christian women who are considering leaving their marriages, but are being held captive by the threats of their husbands and church doctrine. These threats always include a promise of divine retribution for the woman who breaks the rules of God. This book will reveal the Bible is not a rulebook on marriage and divorce and there are no divine threats. In the Old Testament men casually divorced their wives for the slightest provocation and in the New Testament this tradition was continued. Divorce was a male privilege that was common among the people of the Bible. What God is concerned with is not divorce, but how we treat one another. Marriage is entering into a relationship that has legal implications; divorce is ending that same relationship. It is not the institution of marriage that is special; it is how we treat one another within that institution. It is always about how we treat one another.

I may sound as if I am advocating women to divorce their husbands. I am not advocating a woman to do anything in regards to her personal life. However, I strongly advocate that no woman should be wrongly held against her will in any relationship, marriage included, through the use of the Bible. Nothing in the Bible restricts a woman’s right to marry and divorce a hundred times if she so chooses. Likewise, there are no prohibitions given anywhere in the Bible that prevent a woman from divorcing her husband. The practice of using the Bible to control women must end. It is not God that seeks to imprison women in marriage; it is men. Were it not for the great misuse of the Bible to subjugate women to the will of their husbands, men would find themselves called upon to safeguard their own marriages. There is simply no motive whatsoever for a man to treat his wife as an equal when he can claim inequality as a divine plan.

No woman should be held against her will in any relationship. Forced relationships cannot be dignified by the word marriage. It is not the purpose of the Bible to be viewed as a manual on marriage and divorce, and when it is used as such it cannot be called Holy Scripture. If men wish to keep their wives, then it is incumbent upon them to do it apart from any divine authority. If a man loves his wife then he will extend to her the same freedom she once had, even if that freedom includes her right to leave her marriage. She is free to enter into marriage and free to leave her marriage. She is free to say I do and free to say I no longer do.

There are three things that hold a Christian woman in marriage against her will: The Bible, church doctrine, and fear. This book will show there is not a single verse in the Bible that demands a woman be bound to a man for a lifetime, or for any time for that matter. The doctrine of one man, for one woman, for life is a complete fabrication. Also, current church doctrine regarding marriage and divorce is based on a male-oriented theology from the Medieval Period (AD 400-1400) and has no bearing on a woman of the twenty-first century. Lastly, fear has been used as an instrument to insure that a woman never leaves her marriage. Physical violence, theological threats, emotional abuse, shunning, promise of guilt, threat of punishment in the afterlife — all are used against the woman who asks to be free of her marriage. Any man who keeps his wife through fear is not worthy of her. Male rage, threats pronounced by the church, social disapproval, all are used against the woman seeking to exercise her fundamental right of self-determination.

The Bible has many uses but never is it to be used as an instrument of oppression. In the past, the Bible has been used to oppress African-Americans, heretics, American Indians, South Africans, homosexuals, women, Aboriginal Australians, atheists, and many others. Every time the Bible is used to cause pain and suffering in any person, for any reason, it is being grievously misused. This book is about how the Bible is used by the church to confine a woman in marriage for all her life regardless of her right to freedom. If anything, the Bible grants freedom — it does not restrict it. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom (I Corinthians 3:17).

Throughout this book the term Christian marriage will be used. This term is used only for the sake of clarity. When both bride and groom are Christians this does not make their marriage a Christian marriage. Marriage is a legal union between two people regardless of their religious beliefs. A Christian is a person, not an institution. It is not possible for any marriage to be rightly called a Christian marriage, for doing so automatically categorizes all other marriages as non-Christian and infers inferiority as not being approved of by God. Marriage is marriage, regardless of the religious opinions of the wife or the husband.

While the Bible recognizes the culture of marriage and divorce, it never claims authority over marriage or grants authority to the church or its ministers. The idea of Christian marriage falling under the control of the church is false. Any time we add a preface to the word marriage it suggests an attribute that is artificial and serves no purpose other that to obscure the only true definition of marriage: Marriage is a voluntary agreement between consenting adults that is recognized by the community and ratified by the State. Anything beyond that is merely ceremonial.

The Bible is a book about relationships. In the Old Testament we have the story of a relationship between God and a people known as the Israelites. In the New Testament we find the story of a relationship between God and all the people of the world. This is what the Bible is for, to reveal to us a relationship that we may have with our creator. Regrettably, the Bible has been turned into a rulebook that has been used extensively to govern every aspect of our lives. The world has been divided into two categories, believers and unbelievers. The unbelievers are called heretics, apostates, atheists, rebels, skeptics, humanists, sectarians, and even antichrists all because they do not follow the perceived rules of the Bible. The rules are sacred to the believer and therefore the violation of these rules call for the most severe judgment. However…the Bible is not a rulebook that is to govern our lives or the lives of anyone! The Bible is a book of stories, history, prophesies, song, and biography that introduce us to God. The Law of Moses in the Old Testament that governed the ancient Hebrew people was conquered at the Cross, on the hill called Calvary. Only the law of love remains.

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another. (John 13:34-35).

It is my hope this book will aid women to find the strength to escape any marriage that is demeaning and cruel. Any marriage where a woman is being held against her will is illegitimate and should come to an end. I encourage women to read this book carefully and come to their own conclusions. Again, a woman is free to divorce her husband any time and for any reason, it is her choice. There are no divine punishments awaiting the woman who uses the very gift that God has given her — the gift of self-determination.

May God bless all women who are willing to stand up to male dominance and church authority and say, It is my life and I will not consign it to another. Let the chains of misery fall and take those first steps of regaining strength, dignity, and self-identity. Let the wrath of men roar against the wind and let the ministers of the church pour forth their religious disapproval. It is your life and you have the right to reclaim it from those who illegitimately hold you in bondage. God is always with the oppressed, and there is none more oppressed than a woman being held captive by men who do so under an erroneous claim of authority of their religion. Remember, you have the right to divorce at any time, for any reason, or for no reason.

1.

A Book for Christian Women

If one makes a mistake, and fails to correct it, one has made a greater mistake. —Plato

This is a book for women because it is women who have been victimized in marriage for thousands of years, not men. The ideal Christian marriage is presented as one where a man rules a woman and it is her role to humbly obey him in all things. She is told that man is the head of the woman (I Corinthians 11:3) and therefore it is God’s command that she submit to his authority. It does not matter if her husband is a fool, a drunkard, violent, or even molests her children, she still must obey her husband in all things. Christian men are not required to treat their wives as equals because prevailing Church doctrine claims that their wives are not their equals. The favorite verse of men who love to claim authority over their wives is found in I Corinthians, Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ. They forget that when they quote this verse that if it is being used as a chain of command it makes the doctrine of the

Reviews for Divorce and the Christian Woman

[Debby Pakpahan · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I am so glad to find this book. Open my eyes and my concept about Bible to read in the context not just as it is. Thank you and God bless.