The Time-Traveling Chicken Sexer

By Jason Werbeloff

2146. The Battle of Kentucky. When aliens invade earth, there’s only one woman who can save humanity: Agatha Wretched, a halitosis-fueled, husband-beating, pulpit-pounding chicken sexer living in 1908 South Africa.

No chickens were harmed (or pleasured) in the making of 'The Time-Traveling Chicken Sexer', a sci-fi comedy short.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jason Werbeloff
• Release date: Dec 9, 2015
• ISBN: 9781311877598

Jason Werbeloff

Jason Werbeloff is a novelist and philosopher. He loves chocolate and his Labrador, Sunny. He's interested in the nature of social groups, personal identity, freedom, and the nature of the mind. His passion is translating philosophical debate around these topics into works of science fiction, while gorging himself on chocolate. **Amazon author page - http://amazon.com/author/jasonwerbeloff **Newsletter - subscribe to get 'The Solace Pill' free, as well as VIP access to Werbeloff's latest fiction: http://smarturl.it/werbeloff **Facebook and Twitter - follow Werbeloff for release date information on upcoming novels: http://www.facebook.com/solaceseries @JasonWerbeloff **Website - want to read about the philosophy behind the fiction? Take a look at: http://www.jasonwerbeloff.com **Goodreads - http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7340789

Book preview

The Time-Traveling Chicken Sexer

Jason Werbeloff

The Time-Traveling Chicken Sexer

Copyright: Jason Keith Werbeloff

Published: 17 August 2015

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Fiction by Jason Werbeloff

Novels

The Solace Pill

Hedon

Anthologies

Obsidian Worlds

Shorts

Solace Inc

Your Averaged Joe

Visiting Grandpa’s Brain

Falling for Q46F

The Cryo Killer

The Photons in the Cheese Are Lost

Dinner with Flexi

Bleed Me Silicone

The Time-Traveling Chicken Sexer

The Experience Machine

F**king Through the Apocalypse

The Man with Two Legs

Other fiction by Jason Werbeloff

11 mind-bending sci-fi shorts. 1 must-read anthology. Your brain will never be the same again.

Click here to download the book:

http://smarturl.it/ObsidianWeb

Contents

The Time-Traveling Chicken Sexer

Other fiction by Jason Werbeloff

Dear Reader

Acknowledgements

Disclaimer:

No chickens were harmed (or pleasured) in the making of this story.

The Time-Traveling Chicken Sexer

Knysna, South Africa, Earth: 1908

It was difficult to choose the worst quality of Agatha Wretched.

Legend has it that her halitosis was so accomplished, the chickens she slaughtered were relieved when they met the knife. Others say it was the way she presented her monthly sermon.

Erecting herself on the creaking Knysna Church podium, her tremendous mass thundered curses, insults, and damnations at whoever dared meet her gaze. You! She’d point with a trembling, sausaged finger. You have sinned. Yes, I’m talking to you, Johnny Henderson. The whites of little Johnny’s eyes shone wide in the morning light. Don’t look to your mother, Agatha boomed. How will your mother save you from damnation?

Others spoke of the way she treated her husband, of unknown name. At the spritely age of thirty-six, Agatha had chosen a septuagenarian. Fortified by his oxblood bowtie and swaddled in a crumpled linen shirt, the aging man accepted Agatha’s daily abuse in his hobbling stride. Owing to his failing lungs, the elderly stoic struggled to keep pace with his wife. When he coughed too loudly, she’d lambaste him across his meager buttocks and shoulder blades, until the will to splutter was exorcised from his fragile frame.

Nobody knew for certain how he felt about the beatings, given that he’d been mute since their wedding night. It was clear, however, that the old man adored his