The Green Beans, Volume 5: The Phantom of the Auditorium

By Gabriel Gadget

MIDDLE SCHOOL MAYHEM...

Maria and Sara are bummed out. While their friends are off adventuring on Smuttynose Island, undoubtedly engaging in all kinds of escapades and shenanigans, the sisters are stuck at Hollow Oak Elementary for another routine day of school. Could anything, they wonder, be more boring?

As the day begins to unfold before them, however, they quickly realize this day is anything but normal. A formidable presence has made itself known in the school, and increasingly strange happenings are occurring at an alarming rate.

Their father, Chief Fresco, is determined to resolve the matter, but he isn’t nearly as well versed in the realms of supreme weirdness as his daughters are. When it comes to unparalleled oddities, the girls are the experts, not the lawman of Hollow Oak. It will take more than the chief's efforts to eliminate the school’s strange problems - it's going to take the entire Fresco Family.

“The Green Beans” is a series of middle grade novels featuring elements of adventure, mystery, science fiction, and the paranormal. Recommended for ages 9-13 (and anybody who is still young at heart).

• Language: English
• Publisher: Gabriel Gadget
• Release date: Nov 26, 2015
• ISBN: 9781311344199

Book preview

Chapter One

An Assembly Unexpected

As the students of Hollow Oak Elementary filed into the school auditorium, there was a great hustle and bustle of activity. Sneakers squeaked and shuffled upon the floor, books and backpacks were jostled about, and the sound of children’s excited voices filled the air.

There were several hundred students who attended the school, and all of them had been summoned to the auditorium for a general assembly. At nine o’ clock sharp, the building’s intercom system had crackled to life, projecting the voice of Principal Funkmeyer into every classroom. He had announced that all students were to report to the auditorium at once, regardless of their grade or age.

The announcement had come as a surprise, even to the teachers. This, of course, filled the students with curiosity. They wondered what the purpose of the assembly was, and they pitched their ideas to one another as they funneled into the auditorium. It was a welcome distraction from the usual routine of the school day, and they took their time shuffling in, making use of the opportunity to socialize with one another and goof around.

Among that shifting, shuffling, chattering sea of students were Sara Fresco and her younger sister, Maria. They walked side by side, their coffee-colored ponytails bobbing behind them as they went. Something was missing from their usual gait, however... the spring in their step, while still present, was mildly hampered.

Though they were very athletic, active children who were accustomed to daily exercise, they found themselves a bit sore this morning. Only a few days previous, they had been at the center of an event that had left them bruised and banged up. In order to survive that ordeal, they had been pushed to their limits, and they were still recovering from their efforts.

While visiting the Portsmouth Museum of Historical Artifacts, they had been caught in the midst of a diabolical plot that had been executed by two of their nemeses: Ebenezer Widget-Bocker and Jasper Cragglemeister. The two galoots had managed to inadvertently destroy the entire museum, as well as releasing untold numbers of dangerous creatures from their previous confinement.

Sara and Maria had been able to escape from the museum in the final moments before its decimation (thanks to a little help from their friend’s dog, Nibbler), but they had left the building with scorch marks at the tips of their ponytails. Since that time, they had trimmed the dead ends from their hair, but those singed pieces had served as a telling sign of what a close call they had experienced.

Thanks to their young age and their healthy constitutions, they healed quickly, and they were almost back to feeling one-hundred percent. But they still felt the lingering effects of their excursions, and a subtle soreness permeated their arms and legs.

In spite of the physical toll they had paid in their latest escapade, their appetite for adventure was not diminished in the slightest. They found themselves longing to be with their other friends, who they knew to be off on an exciting voyage to Smuttynose Island.

Oh, man, Sara groaned, relying on her sister’s sympathetic ear. I really wish we had gone with Neil and Jack. I can’t believe we let Lefty talk us into staying behind.

I know. All morning, I’ve been thinking about what we might be missing out on. Do you really think they’ll be able to find Pan Gu? Maria asked.

Sara sighed, and her eyes grew distant as her imagination conjured fantastic thoughts. I sure hope so. I wonder... what would that magnificent monster be like, out in the open world?

The creature they were speaking of, Pan Gu, was an ancient animal that Ebenezer and Jasper had managed to awaken from centuries of hibernation. They had foolishly believed they could control it and force it to do their bidding, thereby furthering their harebrained schemes and nefarious plots. That theory had totally blown up in their faces, and Pan Gu had destroyed the museum in its quest for freedom.

Now, the beast was loose... but by all indications, it remained in the vicinity.

Their friend, Lefty O’Houlihan, was currently in the process of trying to track down Pan Gu. The monster had been awakened with the aid of technology he had developed over the course of several years, relentlessly laboring away in his basement laboratory.

Having created the means to awaken Pan Gu, Lefty felt partially responsible for any damage the creature might inflict (even though his technology had been stolen from him, and he had no part in its misuse). Of greater significance was that Lefty was a most inquisitive scientist, and he could not resist the opportunity to study such an exceptional beast, were it at all possible.

Although Pan Gu resembled a dragon, Lefty had assured the children that there was nothing mystical or supernatural about the creature. He theorized that it was simply the last living member of a very rare species, which had been able to survive due to a superior, long-term hibernation system, which included an impenetrable exoskeleton. Lefty thought Pan Gu might even be a leftover from the age of dinosaurs.

Whatever it might be, the term monster seemed appropriate. For it was a massive creature of tooth and claw and scaly hide, capable of vast destruction. It could even shoot streams of fire from its mouth, as the sisters had discovered firsthand.

Pan Gu previously lived in China, before being transported to Portsmouth in its hibernated state. Lefty speculated that its activity in ancient times might be the reason similar creatures (portrayed as dragons) were so popular in Chinese mythology and culture. After all, Pan Gu was a very powerful animal, and it was easy to see why humans might have believed it to be a supernatural force of nature.

Lefty had pinpointed the location of Pan Gu to Smuttynose Island, located six miles off the coast of New Hampshire. This morning, he had departed for the island aboard his boat, the Quantum Conundrum.

Since the boat was not big enough to carry everybody, Lefty had chosen to take his nephew, Jack, and their friend, Neil. Sara and Maria were to remain in Hollow Oak and continue their recovery.

And so, the boys were off on a grand adventure, while the sisters were stuck here at school. Could things possibly get any more boring, they wondered?

Chapter Two

The Arrival of Funkmeyer

As the students finished cramming into the auditorium, they took their places among the many rows of cushioned, dark green seats that filled the room. The auditorium could hold several hundred people, and with the entire student body present, it was at full capacity.

By the time Maria and Sara found a place to sit, most of the seats were already taken. They ended up near the center of the auditorium, sitting next to one another. The rest of the students finished finding places to sit, piling into the remaining spaces, clambering over one another to reach unoccupied seats.

The teachers had gathered at the front of the auditorium, just before the stage. They stood about in a series of huddles, leaning forward and speaking to one another in low voices, possibly trying to figure out what the purpose of the assembly was. On that particular subject, it seemed the teachers and students shared a similar curiosity.

What do you suppose this is all about? Maria asked her sister.

I have no idea, Sara said, as she watched her classmates, most of whom were busy chatting and goofing around. As far as I can tell, it’s a surprise, even to the teachers.

Maybe it will be something exciting, Maria said optimistically, though she doubted it would be anything nearly as interesting as the journey to Smuttynose Island that she was missing out on.

The auditorium was a huge room (the biggest in the entire school), shaped like a trapezoid. It had stadium-style seating, with each row being slightly higher than the previous one, ensuring an excellent view of the stage for everybody.

The ceiling was very high, and it had large, rectangular panels attached to it, which had been placed for the purpose of enhancing the acoustics of the room. There was also a large amount of gear and spotlights mounted to the ceiling. These were used for visual and audio effects of the presentations that were held for various occasions throughout the school year.

The stage at the front of the room ran the entire width of the auditorium. It was built from a robust cherry hardwood, gleaming with a high shine. Dark green curtains, matching the upholstery of the seats, hung from the ceiling, concealing most of the stage.

The curtains were currently closed, drawn together at the center. A slight gap between the green fabric revealed a glimpse of the deeper stage that lay beyond, which was dark and layered with shadows.

The assembly had not yet begun, and the chatter of the students continued, creating a buzz of countless conversations that filled the air. As the school administrator, Principal Funkmeyer, entered the auditorium, the level of noise increased, the children anticipating what he might say. The principal was making his way toward the front of the auditorium, and the students realized the reason for their having been summoned would momentarily be revealed.

Principal Funkmeyer was a man who constantly had a slightly disheveled appearance, and the air of a person who was overwhelmed with everything that was on his plate. Today was no exception, and he seemed to be his typical, frazzled, vaguely distracted self.

His tie was always loose around his neck, with the button for his collar unsnapped to give him a little breathing room. His shirt was only half tucked in the back, and one shoelace of his dress shoes had begun to come undone, trailing along the floor. Pens, pencils, and a calculator protruded from the breast pocket of his shirt in a haphazard manner.

He favored a conservative haircut with a traditional part, combed to one side. However, he couldn’t ever seem to get all the hair to obey his brush, and wayward tufts propped forth at the temples and crown of his head. Horn-rimmed eyeglasses were perched on his nose, ever so slightly askew from an accidental bending that was never quite corrected to original specifications.

He was perpetually beset with a vague expression of mild confusion upon his face, as if he could not fathom why on earth he had ever thought it would be a good career choice to be placed in charge of hundreds of energetic children, who were roughly as uncontrollable and unpredictable as an army of wild spider-monkeys.

This was, of course, a fair question that most adults could sympathize with.

Even in the school yearbooks, the pictures of him generally looked as though he had been caught by surprise, unaware of the photographer’s presence or the fact that he was supposed to be posing for a portrait. Consequently, it was a long-standing tradition for students to write Huh? beneath his picture. It seemed to be the perfect caption to fit his expression.

Nonetheless, Principal Funkmeyer was not one to give up, and his mildly flustered condition could not be mistaken for a lack of caring. He wholeheartedly embraced his duties as the school’s primary administrator, and he actually did enjoy his job. It was just a bit overwhelming for him, and the drain it had caused over the years was visible in subtle ways, such as the gray hairs at his temples and the wrinkles at the edges of his eyes.

As he approached the front of the auditorium, he clutched a fistful of papers and