Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

By AA. VV.

Have fun with a collection of more than 1000 Chuck Norris' facts. Volume 2
 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kitabu
• Release date: Aug 2, 2012
• ISBN: 9788867440924

Book preview

CHUCK NORRIS IS THE REASON WHY WALDO IS HIDING.

ISBN 978-88-67440-92-4

Series: RADICI

© 2014 KITABU S.r.l.s.

Via Cesare Cesariano 7 - 20154 Milano

Thank you for choosing to read one of ours books.

We wish you a good reading.

The real reason that Budd Dwyer killed himself was because he owed Chuck Norris 48 dollars. Chuck doesn't care how much or how little you owe him, or whether or not you can pay it back; he's still going to eat you.

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Whenever Chuck Norris needs a new pair of boots he just goes out and kicks through a cow.

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Chuck Norris uses the mouth of a live shark to masturbate.

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The real secret to the success of Girls Gone Wild is that Chuck Norris is the camera man.

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Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, That's impossible, I already lost my virginity., then you are dead wrong.

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Chuck Norris once sold the schematics to his every-lasting beard, we now know this as the Chia Pet.

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Chuck Norris is the creator of myspace. He made the site just to make a list of everybody that he wants to kill.

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Chuck Norris once met God. God asked him if he would rather live eternally or have His powers. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him in the face and said, I'm Chuck Norris, I am God.

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris and a pair of cowboy boots? A roundhouse kick to the forehead... don't ever cross Chuck Norris.

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Zeus came from Chuck Norris' head.

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Chuck Norris is the only human being who can be seen from outer space.

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Chuck Norris has the strength of ten men, if each of those them men had the strength of a bear.

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Chuck Norris once went on a space expedition on foot.

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Chuck Norris' evil twin was known as Stalin. When confronted by his less communist twin, Stalin became angry and attempted to lead his troops to slaughter Chuck Norris. The fall of communism soon resulted.

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Walker Texas Ranger's black partner is actually the result of Chuck eating too many BBQ ribs and taking a giant dump in a puddle of radioactive waste.

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Chuck Norris can down a whole bottle of Busch without once making a bitter beer face.

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he then spent the next 4.5 Billion years creating Chuck Norris. Since then God has spent 66 years living in fear of Chuck Norris.

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If meteorologists really want to predict where tornadoes will form, all they have to do is follow Chuck Norris around and watch for roundhouse kicks.

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Chuck Norris once sneezed on a woman at the bank and got her pregnant.

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When God sneezes, his pal Jesus quickly replies with, Chuck Norris bless you.

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Chuck Norris mixes Dayquil and Nyquil.

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When Chuck Norris plays Pac-Man all the ghosts huddle in the corner and wait for death.

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Leap year was invented as a way to celebrate Chuck Norris' superior jumping abilities. But being the humble soul he is, Chuck Norris asked that we only celebrate once every 4 years.

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The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that Chuck Norris was just an actor.

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If you look closely enough in the opening cut scene of Halo, you can see Chuck Norris still sleeping in one of the tubes. He was the original Hushed Casket but since he refused to wake up, they had to wake Master Chief, their plan B.

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Chuck Norris' blood is 50% arsenic. The other half is the cure for AIDS.

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Chuck Norris wanted to taste the rainbow, so he ate Toucan Sam.

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Chuck Norris consumed two kegs of beer at one sitting. It took him longer to float the beer during keg stand than it did to eat the aluminium shell.

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Chuck Norris once made an appearance on Emeril. When Chuck said Bam!, Emeril's head exploded and a pregnant woman in the audience gave birth. Undeterred, Chuck finished the show by preparing roast Emeril with a raspberry glaze and a side of baby.

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When Chuck Norris was interviewed by local papers as to why he saved the baby from the fire he replied, I was hungry.

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Chuck Norris raped Tony Danza and Bruce Springsteen simultaneously one day just to make them aware that Chuck Norris is the fucking boss.

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Chuck Norris has a third testicle. He cut it off himself, shaved it, and threw it into the ocean. It's now commonly known as the continent of Australia.

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Recently, Chuck Norris demanded an absolute bug-free version of the upcoming Windows Vienna 2009. Five minutes later Bill Gates announced that he would move to a part-time role with Microsoft in July 2008.

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Chuck Norris is the only person in existence to get three thumbs up from Roger Ebert.

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Chuck Norris is the major cause of death amongst males between 20 and 60 years old.

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Major League baseball is retiring all of the digits in Chuck Norris's Social Security number to honour his achievements.

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Prince initially called When Doves Cry When Chuck Cries. After several Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to the sternum, he changed not only the title of the song, but his name as well.

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There is no problem of overpopulation on Earth, cause we all know the solution is Chuck Norris.

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Legend has it that the devil sold his soul to Chuck Norris, but actually Chuck Norris took the devil's soul. Nobody sells Chuck Norris shit.

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Chuck Norris drives around in a Mazda Miata just to find gay guys to roundhouse kick.

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Chuck Norris' Sprint cell phone has a different song for every occasion he roundhouse kicks someone to death.

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My wife and I decided to name our son Chuck Norris. My wife is still in a coma, and I am learning to walk again.

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Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

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Chuck Norris wanted to be the voice of God in the movie Dogma, but Ben Affleck locked him in a bathroom at a Denny's on the day of the recording session. In retaliation, Chuck introduced Ben to Jennifer Lopez.

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