Guilty

By Elle Radvel

Cole watched as Caitlyn Matthews walked into his office. She was definitely not what he expected. Never has he seen a woman so beautiful and yet look so dead. What on earth could have happened in her life? Can he help her back to life?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Elle Radvel
• Release date: Oct 6, 2015
• ISBN: 9781310015700

Elle Radvel

I'm a stay-at-home mom. After homeschooling my two kids, I've decided to do something for myself. I started writing poems and then tried my hand at writing a few books. Over the years I've done other creative work such as oil-paintings, but writing cleanses the soul. As mothers we tend to loose ourselves in motherhood, I was one of those woman. By writing, I found myself again.I live in South Africa. Yes, the Rainbow nation where everyone is free now. Not that I think I'm one of those free people, but in my dreams I believe I am.In my books, there are some truths, but there are also dreams and exaggerated things. The truths in my books, are things from my own live. Things I can't always talk about, but they are me fighting to come out. I do believe that in time I will be able to tell you more. For now, read my books and decide for yourself who I am.

Book preview

Guilty

By Elle Radvel

Copyright 2015 Elle Radvel

Smashwords Edition

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Contents

Poem

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Epilogue

All I feel is pain.

Yes, all I feel is shame.

I hurt in my soul.

Yes, I can put on a good show,

But dreams are shattered,

And goals are tattered

I feel so alone,

Not even my house feels like home.

Every choice I made seems wrong.

This life is just too long.

I’m tired of playing this game,

When I’m the only one to blame

I’ve hit my all time low.

The darkness around me grows.

Tunnel of darkness,

I’m struck with blindness

No hope in sight,

Where is the light?

Chapter 1

Cole watched as Caitlyn Matthews walked into his office. She was definitely not what he expected. Nurse Betsy helped her over to the chair and binds her hands and feet to it. In all the years he worked at the Psychological Hospital, he never seen a woman so beautiful and yet looked so dead. What on earth could have happened in her life? Apparently this was her second suicide attempt and she would have succeeded both times if it wasn’t for this friend looking out for her.

There is no life in those eyes. She just sit there, let the nurse do to her whatever she wants, like she just doesn’t care anymore.

Thank you, Betsy

It’s my pleasure. Just call me when you’re done?

I will.

Nurse Betsy closed the door behind herself as she left the room.

Cole looked over at Caitlyn, she was looking around the room, but her demeanour was aloof. He collected his recorder and went to sit on the opposite chair from where she was sitting. He hated that they bind the patients, but until she was not a danger to herself, this will be the norm. It breaks his heart but rules are rules.

Is it Miss or Mrs Caitlyn Matthews?

Caitlyn’s head snapped from looking out the window to meet Cole’s eyes. It was as if she just noticed him in the room. She lowered her head to look at her hands and Cole could see that she was nervous by the way her knuckles turned white from grabbing the armrest of the chair.

That would be Mrs.

Does your husband know that you’re in here? I don’t see any contact details on the form for him.

Again her head snapped up to look at him. Although her demeanour was still aloof, Cole could read the fear in her eyes.

No.

Do you want me to contact him?

No, we are divorced.

Is that why you tried to take your own life?

No.

Caitlyn, may I call you Caitlyn?

She just looked at him.

Okay, Caitlyn, do you know why you are here? Do you remember what you have done?

Yes.

Can you tell me why you tried to take your own life?

Again Caitlyn just looked at him.

Cole shifted in his seat to sit on the edge of it. He rested his elbows on his knees and looked at her.

Look Caitlyn, I’m hear to help you. I’m here to listen. I’m not here to judge you or make you feel bad about yourself. I want to understand, you. I want to know why a beautiful woman like you doesn’t want to live. I want you to live, but most of all I want you to want to live.

I don’t want to talk about it.

You see that is where the problem comes in. You will stay in this hospital until you talk to me, until I’m satisfied that you will not do this to yourself again.

Then you will be wasting your time and money.

O, it’s not me wasting time and money. You’re the one doing that to the friend that put you in here.

Cole saw the flash of hurt before she looked out the window again.

Caitlyn, I don’t want you to feel guilty. If you don’t want to do this for yourself, at least do it for the person who put you in here. At least that person cares about you.

It’s too late.

It’s never too late.

You see that is where you are wrong.

Can you explain to me?

Caitlyn looked out the window and tears were running down her cheeks. Cole felt compassion towards her like he never felt before. She was pulling him in and he knew that he was on dangerous ground.

After about ten minutes of waiting for her to say something, he stood up and rang the bell for Nurse Betsy to come and get Caitlyn.

Okay Caitlyn, why don’t you go and think about what I said. I will see you tomorrow. It was very nice to meet you. I truly hope that you will talk to me tomorrow.

Cole smiled at Caitlyn as he loosened her binds. When Nurse Betsy came in, Caitlyn stood up and walked over to her. At the door Caitlyn turned to Cole and looked at him.

I never got your name.

Cole, Cole McGreggor.

Caitlyn turned back and Nurse Betsy led her out to her room.

Chapter 2

Cole woke up with a terrible headache. He did not sleep well. When he got home last night, he worked on his reports till after midnight. Then when he did try to sleep, Caitlyn’s eyes kept haunting him. So after just a few hours of sleep he felt irritated.

He pulled himself out of bed and got in the shower. After the shower he felt a bit better. He dressed and made himself a cup of coffee. While he drank his