Unwashed Fiction

By D. E. Park

More tales of flash fiction from D. E. Park. Crossing a variety of genres, including Science Fiction, Fantasy,

Horror, Fairy Tales and Other. What Heinlein chose to call "Speculative Fiction".

For example:
What happens when a witch hooks up with a frog prince?
Avoid the lengthy queue of souls entering Hell.
Meet a Baroque art classic with unusual habits.
A new bride deals with a jealous sister's interference.
Buy a fortune cookie from a genuine seer.
And many more!

43 works of flash and micro-fiction.

• Language: English
• Publisher: D. E. Park
• Release date: Sep 12, 2015
• ISBN: 9781310372759

D. E. Park

Dave is a vigilant champion against the magniloquent periphrastic battalions of blowhard, on the front lines daily protecting the virtues of brevity and whimsy. He's also demented and won't ever amount to anything.

Book preview

A Gullible Witch

Beneficent always believed whatever she was told.

Angrat often took advantage of her sister’s gullibility as children. Beneficent was easily sent on wild goose chases of all varieties, often to hilarious results. Angrat told her a true princess always felt a single pea through nine mattresses, for example. Beneficent spent the entire summer convincing herself she was adopted. Which Angrat, naturally, carefully said nothing to confirm or deny.

But eventually, even Angrat grew mostly tired of such games. Always much too easy; her sister’s empty head never provided any challenge.

So the two sisters lived together in relative peace, until Queen Elishka decided to send the young witches away for their first year in boarding school. They packed their brooms and traveled to Madame Zelda’s Coven of Primary Witchery for the Spring term.

Beneficent proved proficient with Scrying and Divinations, especially the crystal ball varieties. Angrat excelled at Hexes and Curses, with a minor in Weather.

One morning, while out gathering herbs in the swamp for Potions class, Angrat spied a frog on a lily pad. And promptly hatched one of her better schemes.

Ben, said Angrat. Ever heard of the Frog Prince?

Beneficent hadn’t.

It’s an old tale. A cursed prince lives somewhere near here, a handsome and rich one. Supposedly, he offended the Swamp Crone herself. So he’s cursed to remain a frog forever, until a princess whose heart is pure breaks the curse with a kiss.

Angrat enjoyed the rest of their day in the swamp, as Beneficent grabbed one frog after another and eagerly osculated each amphibian on its little froggy nose.

As always, Angrat marveled at her sister’s eagerness to embrace any tall tale.

Nothing came of the smooches.

***

Toward the end of term, Beneficent strolled by the well when she heard a faint cry from below:

Help, I’ve fallen in the well, lift the bucket please?

She turned the crank and pulled up the bucket, and beheld the greenest, wartiest frog ever.

Thank you miss, for rescuing me. I am Très Charmant.

Beneficent’s eyes widened.

Are you an enchanted prince, Très? she asked.

Why, yes. How did you know?

My sister told me of your curse. Let me help you.

Beneficent lifted the frog to her lips and bestowed her finest kiss.

***

Within the year, Queen Elishka announced the wedding of Princess Beneficent to Prince Très.

Angrat attended, but in foul humor. She’d never suspected the truth of the story.

At the reception, Princess Beneficent listened while Très pronounced his eternal love and everlasting devotion to the most beautiful witch in all the land.

Beneficent always believed whatever she was told.

Adversary

The Adversary hefted a pitchfork over his shoulder and said, Follow me.

He led me to the banks of a river, shrouded in dreary fog.

Along the shores of the river Acheron reside those who lived and died without either infamy or praise. Denied entry, forever, into both Heaven and the Inferno. Their eternity is as empty and meaningless as their lives were. His gaze rested on me for a few moments, while I remembered.

All of those opportunities missed, a lifetime of risks not taken. I was suddenly and chillingly certain he intended to leave me here, alone. The shores of