Mentor In The Mirror

By Wayne Nalls

I wanted to write a book about how each of us can capitalize on our own experiences and those relationships that we have had to become our own mentors – what I call "Mentor in the Mirror". This Mentor is accessible to us 24/7, is a trusted agent, and knows us better than anyone else. The Mentor in the Mirror also knows our goals and personal desires for professional and personal success. This Mentor knows our unique skills, and, as we will find out, they are also capable of guiding us in the actions we take to achieve that success.
By developing ourselves as our own mentors, we crush the notion that success is limited to a select group or class of people who are fortunate enough to have someone mentor them.
Your Mentor's goal is to provide encouragement, information, guidelines, and wisdom that reflect your true values and to motivate and challenge you to focus on your strengths and talents to achieve your goals.
What's happening on the outside (behavior and actions) is a reflection of your inner self. And what's within is the stored material your Mentor uses to shape and develop you. For maximum use, this information should be continuously updated, changed, modified, and renewed leading to on-going transformation. As the caterpillar is transformed within its chrysalis to become a butterfly, a person is transformed within to become the "winged" hero he or she is destined to be.
In many lives, the Mentor in the Mirror lies dormant, below the level of awareness. Instead of wielding a strong positive influence on one's behavior, the dormancy of the sleeping giant results in counterproductive behavior and wasted talent. Now is the time to awaken the giant.
I challenge you to read and study the material in this book and put to use the knowledge and ideas to help to create the life you want and deserve. As you practice the things you learn, you will discover the key to personal success and being your own Mentor is not only within, it is within your reach.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Mar 4, 2013
• ISBN: 9781626752092

Book preview

Success

PART I: The Speech

Chapter 1

Five Barley Loaves And Two Small Fish

There is a lad here who has five barley loaves and two fish, but what are these for so many people? —John 6:9

It’s a late Sunday afternoon, a day of rest. Tomorrow is the first work day of the last four weeks of Ed Harris’ professional career. Ed will retire on Friday the 27th, after fifty years of working, the last 35 with ACME Industries. He is the Vice President of Marketing & Sales for ACME.

At the moment, Ed is deep in thought about an event and an idea that will impact his last four weeks at work (and, ultimately the lives of countless people, only he doesn’t know it).

This morning, his pastor had used the feeding of 5,000 people with a young boy’s five barley loaves and two small fish as his illustration. Ed’s musing is not about how the boy’s small lunch was leveraged to feed the 5,000, but that the boy was eager and willing to share his lunch.

In his small basket was all the food the young boy had. His mother had risen early and baked the bread and cooked the fish, wrapped them and placed the meal in his basket. It was his lunch, the only food he had for the day.

When asked to share, the boy, without hesitation, shared. He gave of what he had. He never asked if it would be enough, if anyone would like it, or if it was cooked or salted right. Because he shared, he witnessed—and became part of—a miracle.

Last week, Ed’s boss, and long-time friend, Jim Tatum had called and requested him to come to his office. They had worked together for the last 35 years. In fact, Jim had recruited Ed from a competitor and persuaded him to take the job as Vice President of Marketing & Sales at ACME Industries. It had been a good and rewarding relationship. Working together they had built an excellent team.

Over the years, like most businesses, ACME had experienced the economic fluctuations, challenges posed by competitors, and the oftentimes fickleness of their customers. But the strengths, values and determination of the two men and their team of dedicated associates had bested the negative influences and built an outstanding company—measured by any means.

There is no door on the entry to Jim’s office. The doorway is always open. With the exception of the HR department and one conference room, there are no doors to open or close in any of the office doorways in the ACME building. Communication flows up, down and sideways throughout the organization.

Offices are open all the time signaling the openness of the company. ACME thrives on information sharing and input from all of its associates. Ed has often been heard saying, Closed doors lead to closed minds.

As Ed entered the office, Jim motioned for him to sit at the small conference table in his office and quickly joined him. Well, Ed how does it feel to know that in four weeks you will retire?

Jim, Ed answered, you know I have mixed emotions about it. I am ready to move on, but I will miss this place. I will miss working with you and the team we have built at ACME. But, it is time for this Eskimo to get into his canoe and start paddling out to sea.

Ha, laughed Jim. You know you are not ready for that. We have talked about it before. You will soon be doing other things. Purposeful activity is in your DNA.

Ed, the reason I asked you to come to my office is I want to share an idea that I have been working on for several days.

"Last Friday night, my wife and I were at the mall and decided to eat at Chick-fil-A. You know it is one of my favorite restaurants. The chicken sandwich was excellent, as always. But several things occurred during our meal that leads to our meeting today."

How so? asked Ed.

"The first incident was something the order taker said when I asked her if I could have a couple of extra sauces. Her reply was, ‘My pleasure.’ Then as Natalie and I were about to finish our meal, one of the other Chick-fil-A employees came to our table and asked to refill our drinks. ‘Yes’, I said and thanked him. Quickly and with a genuine smile he answered, ‘My pleasure.’"

"Ed, when is the last time you heard that phrase—my pleasure— from someone and really felt they meant it?"

Frankly, Jim, I don’t remember hearing that comment recently. I wonder if our customer service people are using it with our customers. In fact, the team should be conveying that message each time they are in contact with a customer or prospect.

Yes, said Jim, our team must go beyond what is expected and show our customers that we do appreciate their business.

Jim continued, "Ed, I think communicating it’s a pleasure to serve the customer harmonizes well with the current tag line for the Publix Supermarkets TV ads. As I recall, the voice-over at the end of the commercial says: ‘While knowing what we serve is important, knowing who we serve matters even more.’"

Now that’s a one, two customer punch: demonstrating appreciation and intimately knowing that customer. Ed, I am reminded of an Og Mandino quote you often use when you are working with members of the team: ‘The only certain means of success is to render more and better service than is expected of you, no matter what your task may be.’

Jim paused and then said, Ed let me cut to the chase and explain my idea.

We both know when people retire or leave for some other legitimate reason, everything leaves with them; everything walks out the door. I am not talking about the person taking company property or trade secrets. I’m not speaking about the tangible things. It’s the important intangible contributions and resources: their priceless experiences, knowledge, skills, training, role modeling and values that walk out the door to never return.

Faced with an employee’s departure, a company’s attitude is often: ‘We’ll just slide another person into the slot and keep going.’ But, assuming the employee has been with the company for a number of years and been productive, there is more to job replacement than assigning someone else the position.

Jim paused for a moment before continuing his observation regarding the fallacy of easy employee replacement. Ed, we both know people are not interchangeable like parts of a machine. Seldom can you exchange one person for another person and continue at the same level of productivity.

Ed, I believe when we are competing for the future, we must get better at managing our internal knowledge including our historical knowledge. If we are to compete, we need the information of the past to help ensure future success. I agree with the person who said, ‘information is power.’ Today, more and more people realize that knowledge is power and that it is the only sustainable source of competitive advantage.

I hear you, said Ed.

Jim continued, As you know, the missing ingredient in employment replacement is often the key ingredient: information and knowledge. Employment situations change, but the need to capture productive employee knowledge is growing so we can continue to make productive use of that knowledge. When an impact player decides to leave, I sincerely believe every effort should be given to capturing as much of his or her job specific knowledge as possible.

A short one or two page questionnaire alone doesn’t accomplish this. Assuming the employee is either retiring or moving on to a better position with another company and not being let go, management should set aside appropriate time to conduct an open, give-and-take discussion with the employee.

The goal is to capture as much vital information on the employee’s thoughts about what made him/her a success and any ideas for improving that position. We want to capture their ideas on the means, methods and resources they feel are needed to take the position to the next level.

Obviously, each departing employee will be different and his/her information will be different yet the input will have much in common. The organization’s task is to find out what is consistent and then train others in the organization to use it.

"The key question is: What would you redesign about your job, and why? Having been the VP of Marketing & Sales for 35 years, you know the job better than anyone else. If the truth be known, I should have asked you to revise and update your job description to reflect the actual operations of the position. There are marketing policies and procedures we no longer follow or adhere to. They have outlived their purpose, but we never eliminated them from our operations manual."

"In some cases, your reason why may be the most important contribution. Often, the why is only understood by the person who has found a better way to do the job. When you—or any other key teammate—leaves, the answer to that open-ended question: What would you redesign about your job, and why remains unanswered?"

The goal is not cloning, but enhancement. New employees bring new ideas, but as the old saying goes, ‘Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.’ The result should be a new and more productive employee.

Jim continued, "In this fast paced technology-driven world, I am afraid that we are losing the personal contact with each other that we once had. Don’t get me wrong, I love my iPhone, GPS, iPad, email, laptop computer, etc., but with all the wiz bang, I don’t hear, ‘My pleasure.’"

Ed, let me get to the point. When you retire, ACME loses a great employee and the team loses much more. You have always been a relationship builder—a people person! You are the emotional leader, the man that’s not afraid to express passion and act with enthusiasm. You clearly communicate that the company’s most important asset is our people. And the team knows that. You also symbolize success to the other employees and me.

The success legacy you leave is not wrapped up in technology, numbers or theory. It is based on your work ethic, life experiences, values and principles— the things I want you to share with the other employees via the retirement party we are holding for you in four weeks. Ed, I am requesting that you cap off the evening with a farewell speech— a retiree’s speech. I want you to share with the team your success secrets.

While flattered and moved by Jim’s words, Ed’s initial action was to decline, offering the excuse that he had so little to offer. No one, said Ed, "especially the younger employees want to hear anything about the good old days."

You’re right, no one wants to sit through a history lesson, said Jim. What everyone needs to hear is the secret to your success—what you did that made you so successful for so long. They will be interested in your business philosophy, principles, values, and decision-making techniques that made you a top performer year after year. Your fellow teammates need to know your secrets of success.

Certainly, Jim continued, things have changed over the last 35 years and you and I and the company have made many changes, some easily, some not so easily. But there are principles, guidelines, actions, values and ethics that stand the test of time. In fact, they are timeless.

You’re right, Ed agreed. Two time-tested maxims quickly come to mind. First, no matter the economic situation, great companies always have a place for people who can help them grow their top line and maximize the bottom line. In today’s market place, employers are focused on finding top performers. If an employee is to be a superior performer he or she must produce work that is first class. Employers expect to get more than they pay for, what they want is the proverbial baker’s dozen; thirteen doughnuts for the price of twelve. First-class performance is producing more than is expected.

My second thought, continuous self-improvement is the key to success. Successful people know that education is an ongoing, lifelong process that continues after formal schooling. People who do well are learning all the time and they hold themselves personally accountable for this priority project.

Right on, Ed, quipped Jim. That is exactly what I am talking about. Companies are always looking for people who can help them be more profitable. And in spite of the sophisticated training, coaching and mentoring programs we offer, each individual has to play a major role in his/her success. Self-improvement gives a person more of an incentive to succeed.

Jim looked straight at Ed and said, Ed, I want you to take the weekend and think about reconsidering my request. Furthermore, I want you to challenge our employees to think. Thinking seems to be a disappearing art. Today, many people are allowing, and even encouraging, others to think for them.

Ed, part of your legacy to the company is that you are a thinker. I recall the many times I’ve heard you quote Georgia State University professor David J. Schwartz on thinking and success: ‘Where success is concerned, people are not measured in inches or pounds or college degree or family background; they are measured by the size of their thinking.’

Think about it Ed. View your success journey as a guide or roadmap for others. You learned from personal experience but you also learned from the experiences of others. This is the opportunity and the time to pass on those experiences so others can learn from your labors.

OK, replied Ed. I will think it over this weekend and let you know Monday.

Chapter 2

Ed Reconsiders

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were really the big things.—Benjamin Franklin

So now it’s Sunday afternoon and Ed is thinking about his promise to Jim to reconsider his request to share his insights on success at the up-coming company retirement dinner.

He had set aside Sunday afternoon for meaningful time to think about his long business career and the lessons he had learned over those fifty years. His wife, Susan, was visiting her mother and he had the house to himself.

Sitting at the wooden desk in his home office (his wife referred to it as the Harris library because of the many books that filled the shelves) Ed started organizing his thoughts. He readily admitted to himself that he had had a successful career—far exceeding any dreams he had when he began his first job. But for Ed, success was more than just money or position. Ed had earned a good living and he also had not forgotten to live a good life.

Success was personal for Ed. He had not let someone else define success for him. Even as a youngster, Ed was ambitious. His first paying job was cutting the grass in his neighbor’s yard. (He did the family yard for free because that was part of his responsibility as a family member.) As Ed recalled, he earned fifty cents per hour while mowing lawns. And the money was all his. His dad provided the mower and gas. Ed chuckled as he recalled that the price of gas was 22.9 cents per gallon.

Ed soon added a paper route to his budding entrepreneurial endeavor. He sold a weekly paper door-to-door for ten cents and got a nickel for each paper. He quickly became the number one sales boy and he received from the publisher a silver dollar each week for his achievement.

I wasn’t afraid of hard work mused Ed to himself. I willingly went door-to-door asking people if I could mow their yards or if they wanted to buy a newspaper. At this stage in my life, I knew nothing about business planning or action steps. I only knew if I wanted to earn some money, I had to take action. Therefore, I asked for an opportunity. Surprisingly, I learned not everyone had to say, ‘yes’, only enough people to keep me busy.

Then when Ed was fourteen, he got a job delivering the local daily newspaper for an established route of subscribers. After school, he would ride his bicycle to the newspaper printing plant and get the number of papers he needed, roll and tie them with a string. Then he placed them in his newspaper bag and worked his route.

There was no paper printed on Saturdays so Ed covered his route, stopping at each door to collect payment for the past week’s delivery. Ed kept careful records of the payments as sometimes a subscriber wasn’t home on Saturday when Ed came to collect. Then he would have to stop by during the next week to collect.

Ed had to pay for the number of papers he delivered, even when he failed to collect from a customer. Therefore, he learned to keep tabs on who paid and who had not and to be persistent in collecting his money.

Before Ed graduated from high school he had earned money in several different ways: mowing yards, selling newspapers door-to-door, delivering a daily newspaper route, raking the leaves for his neighbors and his church.

During his junior and senior high school years, Ed worked weekends bagging groceries at a local supermarket, and during the summer did odd jobs for a local plumbing company.

As Ed reminisced about this childhood work history, he realized he was becoming excited about sharing these stories and telling what he learned from the experiences. He often lamented that this—learning responsibility and acquiring knowledge of reward for effort— was a part of his life that many young people failed to relate to today.

Over the years, Ed had interviewed many young people who had applied for a job at ACME when he clearly knew what they were looking for was employment and a paycheck, not a job and work. He had witnessed too many people who once they found a job, quit looking for work.

Quickly picking up his pen, Ed made a notation on a legal pad to comment on personal responsibility and perseverance in his speech. He would also talk about personal success. Ed wanted to drive home the idea that each person is responsible for his or her success. To do this, he decided to use a quote from one of his personal heroes, Winston Churchill: The price of greatness is responsibility.

Ed’s heart began to beat faster, his adrenaline flowing and his mind creative. Yes, he said to himself. I think I have a story to share and it begins with my own five loaves of bread and two fish— mowing yards and delivering newspapers.

Ed continued to write his thoughts on his legal