Life Is Easy. We Make It Hard.: The World Wants You to Win. Get Out of Your Own Way!

By Cory Collins

We all have a desire to live "the good life" - health, wealth, growth, purpose, self-fulfillment, achievement, prosperity - whatever it means to you. Whether it's in our personal life, relationships, or career, we want to thrive. But why does everyone want it, yet only a few actually attain it? What's stopping the ones who don't attain it? Is it external or uncontrollable factors? Could it be misfortune? Is it that they just aren't "the chosen ones"? Is it even attainable for us all? The answer may surprise you, and it's well within your reach!

Through not only years of his own personal experiences, but also through the lens and perspective of some of the greatest thinkers, doers, and achievers that this world has ever seen, inspirational speaker and success coach, Cory Collins, reveals just how EASY life was designed to be, and how HARD we make it!

Unlock your full potential.
Find your true calling.
Push through the obstacles along your journey.
Build meaningful relationships.
Connect through communication.
Get out of the rat race.
Stop sabotaging your success.

There's only one thing powerful enough to stop you. YOU!

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: May 15, 2019
• ISBN: 9781543965599

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

Seven years before this book was published, my wife, daughter, and I were visiting my family for the holidays back in my hometown of Hazlehurst, Mississippi. We were all at my parents’ home convened in the kitchen. My younger brother was there as well.

My wife and I got into a huge argument. Of course, all couples have disagreements, so this wasn’t necessarily anything unusual. We’d had minor arguments in front of my parents before, too, but this one escalated. I remember exactly what it was about, but I’m too embarrassed to mention the reason in this book. That’s not because it was so bad, but because, looking back, it was totally avoidable. At the very least, it didn’t have to reach the level that it did.

My brother hadn’t seen us go at it like this before. He didn’t say a word. I have no idea what was going on in our young daughter’s head. She was our only child at the time. My mom tried to intervene several times, but to no avail. My dad was noticeably quiet. I wondered what he was thinking. Soon he quietly, yet abruptly, walked away, adding even more awkwardness to an already tense atmosphere. He headed outside, and told me to come, too. I was flustered, and said that I would be out in a minute. I needed a little time.

After somewhat gathering my composure, I went outside feeling like a kid walking to the principal’s office. He was out back in his storage shed waiting. I couldn’t remember the last time my dad had lectured me. It had to have been in early high school. But when I walked in, he was as calm as could be. The vibe was the opposite of what I was expecting. He began talking. I listened. He didn’t choose a side. It wasn’t about who he felt was right or wrong. Instead, he told me about times he’d been in similar situations, and how simple it is to defuse them. When I first walked in, I wasn’t even able to look him in the eye in anticipation of what I thought was to come. But soon, I’d raised my head and we were having a good-old conversation about life. At one point, we were even laughing. Not about the situation, but about life.

While some of what he said is a blur now, there’s one thing that he told me that night inside the storage shed that resonated profoundly. He said, Life is easy. We make it hard! It was one of those aha! moments. Though it was something that I’d always subconsciously believed myself, I’d never interpreted, visualized, or articulated this concept in such a clear, concise, and distinct manner. I haven’t told my father how significant that moment was for me, nor have I thanked him. So I’ll do that now. Thank you, dad. You may not even remember it. But I will never forget it!

What really helps me buy into such a bold belief is understanding the difference between something being hard and it being a challenge. We are often too quick to label things as hard. Yes, life can be challenging. Actually, I think life would be pretty boring if it wasn’t. But we truly have more control than we think over whether or not it’s hard. I don’t claim to be a life coach, but I do consider myself a life observer and life learner, if there are such terms. I don’t pretend to have all the answers about life, either. In fact, much of this book is comprised of quotes from people who are much smarter than me. I also don’t claim to be perfect in any way. To be totally transparent, as I sit back and evaluate my own life, I find myself speaking directly to myself in this book. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say that I wrote much of this to myself as a reminder, and in some cases, as a lesson, and then decided to share it with the world.

My intention isn’t necessarily to enlighten you on these things, but also to reinforce them. As you read, you’ll find that you already know a lot of what’s written. But just knowing it is not enough. I don’t believe that mere knowledge is power. I believe applied knowledge is power. One of the biggest gaps in life is that gap between what we know, and what we actually do. For example, we know that we should eat healthy and exercise, but we don’t. We know that we shouldn’t use our cell phones while driving, but we do it anyway. Individually, the nuggets contained in this book may not make much of a difference in your life. However, a series of small things eventually adds up, much like healthy eating or exercising over time.

When I say life is easy, I am in no way making light of things like tragedy, disaster, disease, or terminal illness. For the most part, these are uncontrollable. I’m only considering situations that are controllable, although we often don’t realize that they are. It’s extremely important to distinguish between the two. Many of life’s frustrations are brought about simply because we don’t differentiate.

By the end of this book, it is my hope that you can recognize the areas of your life that you’re making hard, so that you can start making them easy!

CHAPTER 1

YOUR JOURNEY

When I made the decision to pursue entrepreneurship, I gave two weeks’ notice at my job. It was a good, stable job with benefits. I was leaving to go do sales, which I needed to learn before opening my own business. Not only was this something that I hadn’t done before, it was completely commission-based pay without any benefits, which is probably the opposite of what most would consider stability. My manager was shocked. After reading the resignation letter, he asked me if I would make one change to it. Based on the date that I turned it in and the date that would be my last day working there, it technically was one day short of a full two weeks. He asked me to work one additional day. His exact words were, I want you to give us a full two weeks’ notice, because after you go try that little sales thing and it doesn’t work out, I want to be able to ask my boss if we can hire you back.

WOW! I thought. I didn’t know whether to take that as a compliment of my value to the company, or the belittlement of my future endeavors. I took it as the latter. What a disrespectful thing to say to someone! So I took it personally, and wanted to make sure that I didn’t give him the satisfaction of being right. Not only did I not want to ever have to go back to him for reemployment, I didn’t ever want him to see that the move didn’t work out. In hindsight, what he said was actually a blessing in disguise. It gave me even more of a drive to push forward on my new journey. Whenever I second-guessed myself, I could just see his face and hear his voice. I closed a back door that would’ve otherwise always been open for me to return to my old job.

Ultimately, things worked out and I accomplished my goal of starting a business. This showed me one reason why so many people don’t get ahead in life. They simply never go for it. They don’t even attempt to go after the prosperity that’s available to us all, yet unique to them. But you must realize that the longer you wait for your future, the shorter it will be! Fred Smith, who mentored the legendary author and motivational speaker Zig Ziglar, said this:

When God lays something on your heart, your only responsibility is to start. When you negotiate with God, you always lose. It’s okay to start before you feel comfortable or before you’re completely ready, especially if what you’re doing is God-size. That means that you can count on his strength and his answers while you’re in the middle of it, but he’s not going to provide them until you start the journey. He gives you the strength while you’re overcoming.

To be clear, this is not about becoming an entrepreneur. That’s just the route that I took, and the example that I gave. It’s not limited to your career, either. This applies to any aspect of your life where you have aspirations that are greater than the situation you’re in. Some people settle. They hate their job, but say at least it pays the bills. They hate their relationship, but say at least they have one. Other people dream. They say that they’ll have a new job or be at that ideal weight in the following year. It’s great to dream, but don’t let your dreams be dreams. Then there are those who take action. These people are usually the ones who flourish.

Most people would rather be certain they’re miserable, than risk being happy. – Robert Anthony

The irony is that the person not taking the risks feels the same amount of fear as the person who regularly takes risks. – Peter McWilliams

Why not go out on a limb? That’s where the fruit is. – Unknown

Motivation

Although I had already taken action, when that manager at my old job said that to me, it fueled me with even more motivation. Another reason why people don’t excel is because they lack motivation, or don’t know what gets them motivated. This is something that’s very important to identify. It can be the difference between winning and losing. For example, consider a person who’s single, doesn’t have kids, and has little desire to maintain full-time employment. It could be because they’re content with meager accommodations for themselves, or because they’re just lazy. Generally, their drive would be different if they were married and had kids to take care of.

I’ve found that there are six distinct ways that you can be motivated:

Internally—You’re self-motivated and a self-starter. This is the kid who always takes the initiative to do their homework or clean their room without having to be told by their parents, or the employee who gets things done without always being instructed or asked by the boss.

Externally—You need a push. You’re motivated by outside factors or the success of others. This is the person who’s out of shape, and runs into an old classmate or colleague who’s really fit, and then gets motivated to start going to the gym.

Toward—You’re goal-oriented, and motivated toward