The Complete Guide to Understanding, Controlling, and Stopping Bullies & Bullying at Work: A Complete Guide for Managers, Supervisors, and Co-Workers

By Margaret Kohut

According to the Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA), more than two million workers in the United States alone are victims of workplace violence each year, leading to millions of dollars lost in employee productivity. Many people believe that bullying occurs only among school-age children and fail to acknowledge the presence and devastating effects of bullying in the workplace. It is time that this destructive issue be addressed and resolved; however, you may be asking yourself how to accomplish such a task. The Complete Guide to Understanding, Controlling, and Stopping Bullies & Bullying at Work will provide you with valuable information on the topic, as well as unique solutions to the problem.

In this new book, you will learn how to identify the problem of workplace bullying, how to define the workplace bully, how to identify characteristics of a targeted employee, how to identify pathological characteristic of workplace bullies, how to bust bullying, and how to bully-proof your employees. This book also discusses the indicators of a toxic workplace, the causes of workplace bullying, reasons why workplace bullying is perpetuated and unchallenged by other employees, the connection between bullying and lethal workplace violence, and the legal aspects of bullying. Furthermore, you will learn about mob bullying, the effects of bullying on the target, and the effects of bullying on the organization.

The author also covers such special topics as workplace bullying in federal, state, and local organizations; the United States armed forces; Fortune 500 companies; and medical organizations, as well as reverse bullying by employees who inappropriately assert harassment and bullying by their superiors even though they have been fairly disciplined for sub-standard job performance.

This book goes one step further and provides solutions to end workplace violence, anti-bullying pledges, and examples of zero-tolerance bullying policies. If you are a manager, a supervisor, or even just an employee and you suspect bullying is occurring, you need to read this book. Whether bullying is already happening or you want to be sure it never does, The Complete Guide to Understanding, Controlling, and Stopping Bullies & Bullying at Work will provide you with everything you need to know to create a better working environment.

Atlantic Publishing is a small, independent publishing company based in Ocala, Florida. Founded over twenty years ago in the company president’s garage, Atlantic Publishing has grown to become a renowned resource for non-fiction books. Today, over 450 titles are in print covering subjects such as small business, healthy living, management, finance, careers, and real estate. Atlantic Publishing prides itself on producing award winning, high-quality manuals that give readers up-to-date, pertinent information, real-world examples, and case studies with expert advice. Every book has resources, contact information, and web sites of the products or companies discussed.

This Atlantic Publishing eBook was professionally written, edited, fact checked, proofed and designed. The print version of this book is 288 pages and you receive exactly the same content. Over the years our books have won dozens of book awards for content, cover design and interior design including the prestigious Benjamin Franklin award for excellence in publishing. We are proud of the high quality of our books and hope you will enjoy this eBook version.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Atlantic Publishing Group Inc.
• Release date: Apr 3, 2008
• ISBN: 9781601381910

Book preview

The Complete Guide to Understanding, Controlling, and Stopping Bullies & Bullying at Work

A Guide for Managers, Supervisors, and Employees

By Margaret R. Kohut, MSW

Certified Criminal Justice Specialist, Certified Forensic Counselor, Certified Domestic Violence Counselor Level III, Master Addiction Counselor, Certified Life Coach

This Atlantic Publishing eBook was professionally written, edited, fact checked, proofed and designed. Over the years our books have won dozens of book awards for content, cover design and interior design including the prestigious Benjamin Franklin award for excellence in publishing. We are proud of the high quality of our books and hope you will enjoy this eBook version, which is the same content as the print version.

The Complete Guide to Understanding, Controlling, and Stopping Bullies and Bullying at Work: A Guide for Managers, Supervisors, and Employees

Copyright © 2007 Atlantic Publishing Group, Inc.

1210 SW 23rd Place • Ocala, Florida 34471 • Phone [phone] • Fax [phone]

Web site: www.atlantic-pub.com • E-mail: [e-mail]

SAN Number: 268-1250

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without the prior written permission of the Publisher. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be sent to Atlantic Publishing Group, Inc., 1210 SW 23rd Place, Ocala, Florida 34471.

ISBN 13: 978-1-60138-236-8 • ISBN 10: 1-60138-236-7

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Kohut, Margaret R.

The complete guide to understanding, controlling, and stopping bullies & bullying at work : a complete guide for managers, supervisors, and co-workers / Margaret R. Kohut ; forward by Tina Y. Bryant.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references and index.

ISBN-13: 978-1-60138-236-8 (alk. paper)

ISBN-10: 1-60138-236-7 (alk. paper)

1. Bullying in the workplace--Prevention. 2. Violence in the workplace--Prevention. I. Title.

HF5549.5.B84K64 2008

658.3’8--dc22

2008005870

LIMIT OF LIABILITY/DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTY: The publisher and the author make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this work and specifically disclaim all warranties, including without limitation warranties of fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales or promotional materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for every situation. This work is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional services. If professional assistance is required, the services of a competent professional should be sought. Neither the publisher nor the author shall be liable for damages arising here from. The fact that an organization or Web site is referred to in this work as a citation and/or a potential source of further information does not mean that the author or the publisher endorses the information the organization or Web site may provide or recommendations it may make. Further, readers should be aware that Internet Web sites listed in this work may have changed or disappeared between when this work was written and when it is read.

A few years back we lost our beloved pet dog Bear, who was not only our best and dearest friend but also the Vice President of Sunshine here at Atlantic Publishing. He did not receive a salary but worked tirelessly 24 hours a day to please his parents.

Bear was a rescue dog who turned around and showered myself, my wife, Sherri, his grandparents Jean, Bob, and Nancy, and every person and animal he met (well, maybe not rabbits) with friendship and love. He made a lot of people smile every day.

We wanted you to know a portion of the profits of this book will be donated in Bear’s memory to local animal shelters, parks, conservation organizations, and other individuals and nonprofit organizations in need of assistance.

– Douglas and Sherri Brown

PS: We have since adopted two more rescue dogs: first Scout, and the following year, Ginger. They were both mixed golden retrievers who needed a home.

Want to help animals and the world? Here are a dozen easy suggestions you and your family can implement today:

•  Adopt and rescue a pet from a local shelter.

•  Support local and no-kill animal shelters.

•  Plant a tree to honor someone you love.

•  Be a developer — put up some birdhouses.

•  Buy live, potted Christmas trees and replant them.

•  Make sure you spend time with your animals each day.

•  Save natural resources by recycling and buying recycled products.

•  Drink tap water, or filter your own water at home.

•  Whenever possible, limit your use of or do not use pesticides.

•  If you eat seafood, make sustainable choices.

•  Support your local farmers market.

•  Get outside. Visit a park, volunteer, walk your dog, or ride your bike.

Five years ago, Atlantic Publishing signed the Green Press Initiative. These guidelines promote environmentally friendly practices, such as using recycled stock and vegetable-based inks, avoiding waste, choosing energy-efficient resources, and promoting a no-pulping policy. We now use 100-percent recycled stock on all our books. The results: in one year, switching to post-consumer recycled stock saved 24 mature trees, 5,000 gallons of water, the equivalent of the total energy used for one home in a year, and the equivalent of the greenhouse gases from one car driven for a year.

Table of Contents

Dedication

Foreword

Preface

Introduction

Chapter 1: Defining the Problem

Chapter 2: Profiles of Workplace Bullies

Chapter 3: Profiles of Targets of Workplace Bullies

Chapter 4: The Price of Workplace Bullying

Chapter 5: Types of Workplace Bullying

Chapter 6: Surviving Workplace Bullying & Considering Your Options

Chapter 7: Bullying & the Law

Chapter 8: Workplace Violence

Conclusion

Appendix

Bibliography

Author Biography

More Books

Dedication

This book is respectfully dedicated to the millions of Americans from all walks of life that have been, or still are, subjected to workplace bullying who told me their stories of heartbreak and dignity,

And to the steadfast spouses, partners, children, attorneys, friends, and counselors who see them through the worst days of their lives.

Most of all, to my husband, Tristan, whose wise counsel, courage, and unfaltering devotion always make our home a soft place to fall. My love and thanks for letting me lay my world on you.

Foreword

Bullies are always cowards at heart and may be credited with a pretty safe instinct in scenting their prey.

— Anna Julia Cooper

By Tina Y. Bryant, LMSW

If you have been, or know someone who has been, bullied in their workplace, it may help you to know that millions of Americans have also suffered from workplace bullying. There are many who will be able to identify with the contents of this book. The Complete Guide to Understanding, Controlling, and Stopping Bullies & Bullying at Work: A Guide for Managers, Supervisors, and Employees is especially relevant in this time of constant battles being played out in office settings every day. This guide provides poignant examples, answers, knowledge, and empowerment to those who have been bullied or are currently experiencing this abuse in their workplace. No one should be subjected to such harsh, devastating, and often illegal treatment by bosses, coworkers and subordinates that perpetuates a lifetime of emotional and physical distress upon the individual target of bullying. Workplace bullying is underreported since workers fear losing their jobs if they become whistleblowers. Thus, it is difficult for legislators and human rights activists to develop laws and workplace policies that can eliminate this vicious behavior that is so prevalent in today’s workforce.

This subject matter is noteworthy because abusive bullying of workers crosses all socioeconomic, racial, gender, and ethnic boundaries. It is based solely upon an individual’s or group of individuals’ attempts to hide their own inadequacies by persuading others, including upper management, to target an undeserving and usually unsuspecting individual. Their objective is to divert attention from their own shortcomings or mistakes and project it onto a seemingly innocent but vulnerable victim. Their goal is to blame, discredit, and humiliate the individual until he or she ultimately resigns or is unjustly fired, thereby resolving or covering the initial problem that led to the victimization of the target.

Bullying is exceptionally demeaning and destructive to a person’s well-being. Look closely at the story of Siobhan in this book. She was an unexpected victim that had fallen prey to a gang of office bullies, destroying her career and nearly destroying her life. Fortunately, she had a level of resilience that kept her from utter destruction. Being mob bullied was traumatizing and humiliating to her and she continues to struggle in recovering from the abuse. Her family suffered as well, creating unimaginable emotional turmoil. Workplace bullying creates a domino effect that invades the lives of everyone in the victim’s personal circle of friends, supportive coworkers, and family. The wounds of workplace bullying run deep and can have devastating consequences on an individual’s feelings of self-worth. It deteriorates the physical and psychological being, opening the door to depression, gastric problems, headaches, insomnia, substance abuse, and a host of medical ailments. Bullying in the workplace severely damages the self-esteem and confidence of the victim, causing them to second-guess their own competence and skills. Bullying is a draining force that consumes the total person on a holistic level.

Through books like this one, the bullied individual may ultimately recognize that they are not at fault for being targeted; their vulnerabilities need not have been exploited by workplace predators. The victim is usually hand-selected to be the fall guy by the supervisor or group. He or she is carefully chosen to bear the burden of someone else’s failures, insecurities, and pathological need to control others. The bullied individual will inevitably consider several options: to remain in the present work environment and attempt to restore a damaged reputation, to expose the bullying and seek legal action against the organization, or seek employment elsewhere and start anew. The response is clearly dependent upon the victim’s perception of bullying events, and his or her capacity to advocate because of their injustice and insist upon legislation that protects bullied workers nationwide.

My hope is that this book provides understanding of the magnitude of workplace bullying, education and empowerment for all who read it, and a platform for moving in a direction to address what has affected over 23 million Americans. My goal is that readers will develop a sense of hope, endurance, and awareness as they read this book. Advocacy will prevail and laws must be developed to properly compensate those who have suffered so needlessly. If we develop our strength and tenacity over bullies, holding them accountable for their behavior along with those who condone it, our national workplace will be free from workplace bullying.

Tina Y. Bryant, LMSW

Licensed Master Social Worker

Table of Contents

Preface

I have been thinking about this book for more than two years. Throughout a previous book on school bullying, the issues of workplace bullying were never far from my thoughts because, like the case studies of true accounts by others found within this book, I too was the target of the cruelest and most relentless workplace bullying imaginable. Before my medical separation, I was an officer in a branch of the U.S. Armed Forces. Until my last assignment, I had an exemplary work record with the expected bumps and rough spots along the way; yet my overall job performance was something with which I could be pleased. I served my country with honor, dedication and dignity, ever attempting to polish my leadership and clinical skills.

From the day I reported to my new squadron commander at my final assignment, until the last day of my service, I was mob bullied by my group commander, squadron commander, the chief of medical staff, my immediate supervisor, and three of my subordinates. My unforgiveable sins were that I was less than perfect, I had (and still have) an informal and slightly eccentric leadership and personality style, I had never in my long career had a patient complaint unlike others, and I do not take myself too seriously; life without humor is no life at all. Three years previous to this, I suffered an episode of major depression after the suicide of my terminally ill father. This, by all later events, was unacceptable to my new superiors. Worse, I suffered from serious back pain after a duty-related incident in 2004 that required quite a bit of medical intervention.

Looking back, I believe I became a target of workplace bullying because at least one of my military superiors had a well-known history of bullying subordinates. Immediately upon my arrival at my last assignment, I witnessed him treating another member of the squadron, my subordinate, in a similar manner. Once I caught on to what was happening and tried to intervene on the target’s behalf, it was too late; too late for her, and only the beginning of eighteen months of being mob bullied myself. The ending was not a happy one; I fought back for a long time, but my superior had a knack of recruiting others to pursue me as well. My long years of service ended, according to the official version, for medical reasons. The real reason is because I could no longer find the strength to fight back. To this day, I do not know if I was mob bullied because these other individuals truly had a poor opinion of me or if they were involved due to fear of not going along with the main bully.

With no axe to grind, I include this forward to inform readers of this book that not only did a very great deal of research form the basis of the book, but also that I have personally experienced workplace bullying of the worst sort. However, let this not blind readers to the heroic dedication of those who serve and proudly wear the uniforms of their country, putting their lives at risk every day for America’s interests and way of life. What happened to me was not indicative of the character of the overwhelming majority of military personnel.

If I am passionate about ending workplace bullying, it is not for me alone, but for the millions of Americans who experience similar, if not worse, treatment by bosses, coworkers, and subordinates. Let it end now.

Margaret R. Kohut

Table of Contents

Introduction

"Don’t cry out loud,

Just keep it inside, learn how to hide your feelings,

Fly high and proud, and if you should fall,

Remember you almost had it all."

—Performed by Melissa Manchester

In America alone, an estimated 23 million Americans will encounter bullying in the workplace. Most bullying is never documented or reported because until early in the new millennium, it was not fully recognized as a pervasive problem. If it was reported, it was most often dismissed as the complaints of a disgruntled employee. Today, the tide is rapidly turning; bullied employees are weary of that label and are taking action to make themselves heard on every level from grassroots organizations to local and federal courthouses. No longer the silent epidemic, workplace bullying is being recognized as the insidious national disgrace that it is. Employees from all parts of America’s workforce and from all walks of life are, like the eccentric newsman in the movie Network, screaming I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore! No longer keeping it all inside and hiding their daily excruciating emotional pain, America’s bullied workers are proudly and confidently pushing the delete key on harassing bosses, coworkers, and subordinates through their courageous and outspoken campaign to tell the nation what has happened to them and helping to make sure that bullying in our workplaces ends with the greatest alacrity.

In America, if you say it doesn’t exist, you can keep your head in the sand. We’re in total denial while bullying is ripping people’s lives and health to shreds (Namie, 2007). Workplace bullies are very skilled at what they do. They can create such internal chaos and turmoil in an employee’s soul that the employee loses all perspective and sense of self; he or she begins to believe that what the bully says about them is true. Day after endless day, if employees are constantly barraged with public and/or private unwarranted criticism, poor performance reports, lack of promotions, sarcasm, accusations of incompetence, threats, and isolation, they will eventually wonder if perhaps these allegations of their lack of productive work are true. What happens next is self-doubt, depression, irrational means of attempting to cope such as alcohol or drug abuse, fury, and in far too many cases, incidents of attempted or completed suicide or fatal workplace violence.

Then comes the attempts to shift blame solely upon the stricken employee. He’s always been depressed and unstable. Well she’s an alcoholic, what do you expect? Yet, a closer forensic behavioral analysis of a critical incident in the workplace very often reveals that the employee had no previous mental health history or substance abuse history; the critical incident occurred after prolonged and relentless workplace bullying.

Human nature has idiosyncrasies that are not easily explained. For some reason, we secretly admire bullies for their boldness, ruthlessness in getting what they want, seeming lack of conscience, and intelligent tactics. Historical bullies like Alexander the Great, the Mongol Khans, and a Roman Emperor or two fascinate and repel us at the same time. We forget George Santayana’s truism that those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it, and we do. Modern-day bullies like Adolf Hitler and Saddam Hussein cease to fascinate us when reality closes in and the atrocities build. On a much smaller scale, we still seem to have this unspeakable admiration for petty tyrants while at the same time recognizing their actions as wrong, cruel, and in some cases, actionable in civil lawsuits or even criminal prosecution.

What about Hollywood’s portrayal of bullies? It is safe for us to laugh at their moronic antics because we know that by the end of the movie or TV show, the bully is going to get what is coming to him or her and the good guy always wins in the end. Even children love fantasy bullies like Lex Luthor and the Joker because Superman and Batman always show up to save the world. Perhaps, this is one reason why workplace bullies are so overlooked; we think they can never keep up their actions for very long because, sooner or later, the hero is going to come and put an end to the whole mess.

This does not happen, according to 23 million American workers. No heroes, rescue, nor vanquishing of their bullying tormentors. To cope, they dare not cry out loud or show weakness. Tears of despair and tears of rage are saved for the long and lonely nights. Workplace bullies are like jackals; when they sense that their prey is weakening, they mercilessly stalk their victims until they prevail. Plus, it is the employee who is vanquished, often damaged beyond healing. When we ask ourselves why workplace bullying continues in today’s small businesses and large corporations, the answer is clear: It continues because we allow it.

Today, as workplace bullying becomes increasingly documented and reported, there are several things that we know about this practice:

•  Workplace bullying has many similarities to school bullying and domestic violence.

•  Bullied employees have no protected status unless they are minorities or disabled.

•  Bullying creates a pressure cooker environment that has resulted in workplace violence and other incidents.

•  The label of being a disgruntled employee prevents targets of bullying from being taken seriously.

•  Up to 80 percent of workplace bullying is done by bosses.

This book explores the aspects of workplace bullying, from the definition and scope of the problem up to and including ways to end this no-longer-silent epidemic. The case studies that are contained herein are true accounts in all respects, except that, for the purpose of confidentiality, all identifying information has been altered. In Inferno, Dante Alighieri wrote that the inscription over the gates to the deepest circle of hell reads, Abandon all hope, ye who enter here. When 23 million Americans feel this way about going to their jobs each day and simply trying to earn a living, something is greatly amiss in our society that, for our betterment, and the future leaders and employees of our workplaces, must be corrected. Until, together, we too can say, "I’m as mad as hell, and