Unwanted

By Jennifer Park

If only Young Hee, the beloved and much-spoiled teenage daughter, and Hyun Jae, the older married man who had always been a ne'er-do-well, had never met.
Su Jin, the unwanted child of their illicit union, has never been able to shake the feeling that her very existence set in motion a series of tragedies that left her family broken beyond repair.
As far as Su Jin can tell, there has only ever been one person who has wanted her, just the way she is, and that's Min Sang. What is she willing to do to protect him and his family from the kind of desperation that tore her own family apart?
This dramatic tale is set in the highly competitive business world of South Korea, where fortunes are made and lost as contracts are written and stocks are bought and sold. What place could an uneducated orphan like Su Jin have in this realm? Perhaps she'll come to discover that she is exactly where she ought to have been, all along.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jennifer Park
• Release date: May 28, 2015
• ISBN: 9781311314505

Jennifer Park

Ms. Park prefers to remain anonymous, hence the pen name, however she welcomes comments and reviews of her book! Her third novel is in the works and is expected to be released later this year. You can get in touch with her directly at her email address: jenniferparknovels {at} gmail.com

Book preview

Unwanted

By Jennifer Park

Edited by Rachel Guerrero

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2015 Jennifer Park

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

Thank you for downloading this ebook. This book remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be redistributed to others for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to download their own copy from their favorite authorized retailer. Thank you for your support.

Table of Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Dedication

About the Author

About the Editor

Chapter One

Su Jin was tired. Exhausted, actually. Today had seemed endless. As the 38-year-old fell into bed, her gaze fell on the framed photo on the night stand. Ji Hoon’s unsmiling face stared back at her. Tears of frustration came unbidden to her eyes. Some days, the pain of widowhood still seemed unbearable. She longed for Ji Hoon’s comforting arms, for his calm assurance that everything would be all right. She wanted to pour out all her frustrations and fears to him. But like so many nights before this one, she was alone. Su Jin knew well that exhaustion worked a magic far stronger than that of sleeping pills, and grateful for that, she quickly slipped into the blessed oblivion of sleep.

She woke early the next day. Shaking off the depression of the evening before, she steeled herself to face a day that would require her to be in complete control of her emotions. Today, Min Sang was returning from America. Today, her world would surely be turned inside out and upside down. Min Sang was her…her what? Sometimes she thought of him as her eldest child (he wasn’t). Sometimes she thought of him as her archenemy (do people really have archenemies?). Sometimes she thought of him as a younger brother, or as an uncle to her kids. Sometimes she thought of him as a charity project, a troubled youth any do-gooder might decide to mentor. Min Sang was not even a blood relative. But in a very real way, Min Sang was to Su Jin more than any of these things. And today he was coming home. Su Jin was not easily frightened or disturbed, but today she was both.

Attempting to shake off the feeling of impending dread, she went to make sure that her 12-year-old son, Min Soo, and 8-year-old daughter, Min Ji, were well on their way to getting ready for school. Su Jin found them in the kitchen eating their breakfast. Immediately, the sight of them came close to lifting the heavy fog that she had woken up under. Min Soo was a carbon copy of his fierce father. He was tall for his age, and his serious manner made him seem older than his years. Min Ji was not a bit like her father, instead, she was bright and warm and flighty. In spite of his youth, many people found themselves slightly intimidated by the quiet and stern Min Soo, but everyone loved the small and elfish Min Ji. Min Ji was everything her brother was not. She smiled easily and made friends effortlessly. Where Min Ji welcomed all into her heart, Min Soo seemed to have room in his heart for only three living people: his mother, his sister, and his childhood hero, Min Sang.

Min Sang comes home today? Min Soo asked, as if he were not sure of the date.

Yes, he arrives at 2:00 pm, so you will see him when you get home from school. Su Jin answered her son.

Min Sang likes japchae, can we have that for dinner? Min Soo asked with uncharacteristic care.

And hotteok for dessert? Please! Min Ji eagerly suggested.

Yes, Ajumma will make it. I have already asked her. Su Jin felt a slight relief at the thought of Ajumma, her helper who had worked for her family since Min Soo had been born. She was in her sixties now. But she could out-work most ladies half her age. She was well-known for her cooking and she loved this family as if it were her own. When Ji Hoon passed away and Su Jin gave birth to Min Ji just weeks after, it was Ajumma who held everything together. She thought of herself as the real grandmother of this grandmother-less family and she loyally cared for each one.

Su Jin went to her home office to work on email until she needed to leave for the airport. She tried to concentrate, but she could not focus on her inbox. Her mind kept wandering to distant memories of Min Sang. It had been four years since he had left to study in the United States. She had not seen him or heard directly from him during that time. As each year passed, she wondered if Min Sang would grow out of his great hatred toward her. And each year, his continued silence proved he hadn't. Su Jin had spent countless hours wondering Why? Why does he hate me so much? Why does it get worse instead of better? When will he tell me what I can do to fix things?

No matter how many times she thought about it, she could never understand. When he was younger, she thought his attitude was because of the terrible way in which he lost his mother and the fact that he'd seemed to think that Su Jin and his father were both partially to blame. But surely by now, he knew that the accident had nothing to do with Su Jin. Surely, after all these years, he had grown out of his youthful rage against an unfair world in which mothers die.

Su Jin stopped fighting the memories that bubbled to the surface of her mind. She gave herself the freedom to turn from her computer, gaze out the window, and remember. She needed to remember. She'd pushed away all thoughts of Min Sang for years now, but it was time for her to recall everything about him—right now, before his plane landed. After he arrived, there would be no more quiet moments for reflection, so she eased herself fully into her chair, stared out at the cold morning, and remembered.

It all started…

When? When did the story of her and Min Sang begin? At his birth? No, it was before that. With his parent’s marriage? No, it was before that. When did it start? With Grandpa? Yes, it was indeed with her grandfather that the story of her and Min Sang began. So Su Jin set herself to remember it all, just as it happened, hoping to give herself the courage that she needed to face what was coming today.

Harabaji was a short man and rather average in every way. He had an average personality, average intelligence, and average looks. He had been born into a somewhat wealthy and educated family and he had married into a much wealthier and more educated family. His life should have turned out differently. He should have lived long and happily. But tragic events that were far beyond this average man’s ability to handle would cause his average life to end sooner than anyone would have expected. His misfortune began when his only daughter, Young Hee, became pregnant with a married man’s child. Grandpa sent his daughter away to friends who lived in the countryside until the baby was born. A little while after Young Hee returned home, he officially adopted his new granddaughter, whom he named Su Jin, as his own. He thought his Young Hee would now be able to have a normal life without the burden of an unwanted child, but he had underestimated the emotional damage she'd endured. When Su Jin was 4 months old, Young Hee took her own life. That was the beginning of the end for Harabaji. His wife blamed him for their daughter’s death and would not accept the baby girl that had killed her precious Young Hee in the prime of life.

Harabaji, left to care for Su Jin alone, tried to make a life for his little granddaughter. But no one understood why he insisted on keeping the infant. Both his family and his wife’s family were against it. So, at 60 years old he found himself bereaved of his only child and the sole parent of an illegitimate baby girl. If he had been above average, maybe he could have found a way to handle the situation better. But he wasn’t. He wasn’t overly wise or clever or hardworking, or really anything of any special mention. But he cherished an unwanted infant and because of that, he lost his family, his friends, and his home.

Su Jin got up and began to pace the room. She did not want to remember Harabaji or the terrible situation that led to her birth. She felt strangely guilty to all involved. To the mother that she never knew, to the unknown relatives that drove her grandfather away, to the grandfather that gave up everything to care for her. None of it was her fault. But for most of her life, she had felt like she needed to apologize for existing, because her very existence meant that she'd hurt a world of people that she had never known.

Harabaji had loved Su Jin, but did not really know how to handle the situation he found himself in. He nursed his grief with soju. When Su Jin was 10 years old, and her grandfather was 70, he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He knew he did not have long to live, and at that point, he didn't have much reason to cling to the life he had. Harabaji took Su Jin to meet his childhood friend, Moon Ho.

That was how Su Jin came to live in Moon Ho’s family. Moon Ho was many things, the least of which was average. He was tall, he was clever, and he was still handsome even though he exceeded 70 years in age. Shortly after Su Jin arrived at his home, her grandfather passed away. Su Jin never knew just what kind of relationship her average grandfather had with his childhood friend, who was himself in poor health when she joined the family. But Moon Ho firmly declared that Su Jin was to be taken in and cared for even after his death, and at no time and for no reason was she ever to be cut off from the family. Moon Ho lived seven years after Su Jin came, and when he passed, she became the responsibility of Bong Soo, his son. He and his wife, Ji Young, took in Su Jin. At that time, they had a 4-year-old son named Min Sang. That was the beginning.

Moon Ho, when on his deathbed, called Bong Soo to his side and used some of his last moments of life to divulge the secret that had weighed on him for years—the truth behind why he'd taken Su Jin in when his old friend Harabaji had asked him to. In the very end, Moon Ho carefully told Bong Soo not to treat this girl, this Su Jin, as a daughter.

Rather, make this unloved and unwanted nobody into a warrior’s horse or a hunter’s dog; highly skilled, and unwaveringly dedicated to her master. Treat her well, train her well, make her loyal, and never let her leave. Make her wholly and completely yours, the dying Moon Ho commanded.

Bong Soo did not completely understand the magnitude of his father’s command, but he knew him well enough to trust that it was what was best for all involved. After the funeral, Bong Soo took Su Jin home as his dying father had commanded.

Su Jin smiled as her mind recalled many different firsts. The first time she saw Bong Soo, the first time she met Ji Young and Min Sang. She had been silent in the face of their stares. For the first time in her life she sensed that someone in that room wanted her. This wasn't the guilt that led her grandfather to take care of her, or the sinister self-interest that led Moon Ho to accept her. This was the pure, unadulterated want of another who knew what it was to be unwanted. She looked first to Bong Soo and knew that it was not him that wanted her, at least not that way. She gazed at Ji Young and felt only hate. Certainly, it did not come from the stern-faced woman who looked like she would like to strike her. Finally, she looked into the eyes of little Min Sang and felt the call to want him, to like him, to love him. She made a decision then and there, a decision that she could not at that point in her life articulate into words, but one that was real nonetheless. She gazed back at Min Sang and tried to tell him with her eyes, I will want you. Always.

Chapter 2

Su Jin stood up to stretch and brew herself a cup of tea, then let her mind return once more to the early days. Su Jin had always wondered at the family dynamics of her new home. She did not judge them. She had never had a real family and certainly had no right to judge anyone's family. But she wondered deeply about the people she now lived with. As Su Jin watched Ji Young from a safe distance, she observed how Ji Young never seemed to notice her only son. It was as if Ji Young were obsessed with Bong Soo. She was always talking about Bong Soo or getting ready to go visit him at work or preparing for him to come home.

What kind of mother does not love her own son? Su Jin wondered.

What kind of mother kills herself simply because she has a baby? Her own history rebuked her.

Both Su Jin and Min Sang had mothers that seemed to find it difficult to love them, perhaps that's why they found themselves irretrievably connected from their first meeting onwards.

Min Sang was a cute and lively youngster. Full of mischief and wonder for life. In those early years, those precious early years, the years before the accident, Min Sang had loved Su Jin as only a 4-year-old can love. The 17-year-old Sun Jin relished the affection and attention. Su Jin tried to sooth the heart of the ignored and forgotten youngster. Slowly, Su Jin and Min Sang became for each other what was missing in their lives: the key person willing to mark the value of their existence.

Soon after Su Jin came to live in Min Sang’s family, Bong Soo was contemplating how to