His Spirit's Whisperings: An Epistle of Encouragement for the Seeking Heart

By Lei Loni M. Rodrigues-Bush

His Spirit's Whisperings was birthed, formed and fashioned over one woman's 30-year journey through a tumultuous and emotionally damaged life. You'll find His Spirit's Whisperings open, transparent and truthful. You'll discover that through all of life's trials and afflictions, supernatural peace can surely be found.

His Spirit's Whisperings is offered as an encouragement to quiet your spirit and focus your mind on God. You will find yourself inspired to greater devotion to God as you open your spirit, pondering the whisperings, songs of praise, devotionals and poetry included in this work.

His Spirit's Whisperings will lead you to a place of comfort and encouragement as you come face to face with the truth of your own life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lei Loni M. Rodrigues-Bush
• Release date: Dec 19, 2014
• ISBN: 9780982501023

Lei Loni M. Rodrigues-Bush

I embrace and enjoy a deeply personal and all-consuming faith in God. I accepted Christ as my personal Savior at the age of nine, and continue my lifelong journey with Him. My joy is writing in my journals recording each event in my life - big and small! I especially love writing to my Lord, be it in songs of praise, prayer, poetry, or simply telling Him what is on my heart. He is always there listening, and many times He whispers directly to my heart, His tender words of love, wisdom.

Book preview

His Spirit’s Whisperings

An Epistle of Encouragement to the Seeking Heart

From the journal writings of

Lei Loni M. Rodrigues-Bush

Copyright © 2009 by Lei Loni M. Rodrigues-Bush

All Rights Reserved

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without

written permission from the author

Scripture quotations unless otherwise noted are taken from

The Holy Bible, New American Standard Version, Study Bible Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968

ISBN 978-0-9825010-2-3

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Dedication

I dedicate this book to the Holy Spirit of God, without whose whispers and faithfulness I would never have survived the arduous, early years of my young adult life.

To my children, Monica Michelle and Michael Anthony – with you two in my life I learned to cling closely and tightly to God - at ALL times. Thank you both for your unconditional love.

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Introduction:

His Spirit’s Whisperings -

An Epistle of Encouragement to the Seeking Heart

It has been more than a quarter of a century now, yet I can recall it as vividly as yesterday. As if hurled against the wall by a vicious, invisible hand, there I sat in a breathless, dazed lump. Crashing down and shattering all around me were shards of hopes and dreams– not even one surviving the crash.

What happened? How did I get here? More importantly, when did these two young children enter the scene? The last time I checked, it was just me!

The year, 1983 – I am 35 years old. I am divorced and have been for about seven years now. I know I have one child from that miserable marriage – a beautiful nine-year-old daughter.

Oh, yes! Now I remember! She is the treasure I rescued from that physically abusive, drug-addicted relationship I entertained with her father for four years. Her father? Sperm donor, yes! Father? NEVER!

This explains my daughter, but I also have a one-year old son sitting on my lap clinging to me like a little spider monkey! What the …?

Peering into the new but strangely familiar face of this precious child, I see the reflection of a brief but life-long relationship staring back at me.

In an instant, I am transported back two years into the past. I watch the reruns of another tragic train wreck causing massive casualties – another gory death of a relationship.

Lifting my gaze from my son’s helplessly trusting eyes, I began to weep. My God! What happened to me? How did I get here? More importantly, where do I go from here?

Pondering those heart-wrenching questions, I felt as if someone entered the room and flipped on the switch to project my life. There I sat – held captive – forced to watch my life play out before my eyes. It did no good to close my eyes because the picture only became sharper and more detailed!

Reckless – out of control – rebellion – drugs – alcohol – three suicide attempts – a failed marriage – a second failed relationship leaving me pregnant and abandoned by my baby’s father … Nothing but dust and debris furiously circling – much like the scene from the Wizard of Oz where Dorothy’s house gets caught up in the whirlwind and gets blown to some unknown place outside Kansas – My life!

Now it is just these two defenseless little kids and me! What do I do? Oh, I could make a fourth attempt at ridding myself of more failure – but what about these two babies who have no one but me to care for them? What will happen to them if I end my own life?

Tears began to flow – gently at first, but the more I thought about my kids, the heavier the flow, until I was in full-blown, inconsolable sobs. Through the sobbing wails, I could hear my own voice apologizing and begging forgiveness of my children for carelessly bringing them into this life.

I was more broken than I could ever remember -- not for myself, but for my babies. My heart ached for them.

I knew immediately that I had reached a turning point in my life. I had only two choices - continue in the deadly and destructive path leading my own children directly into the hellish life I lived, or just STOP! Stop the craziness! Stop the self-destruction! Stop it all!

Sitting there looking upon the innocent and beautiful faces of my children; the decision was really a no-brainer. I could not bear the thought of sentencing both my daughter and my son to a life that resembled mine in any fashion, especially not the life I lived over the previous 20+ years.

Again, I heard myself weeping softly while begging God to intervene. I bowed my head. I closed my eyes. Help me, please!

With eyes still closed, I envisioned a massive steel door. It was wide open. Then suddenly, with a thundering snap, it slammed shut! I instantly knew that huge steel door was sealed forever! Even more evident was the knowledge that the life I had lived up to that moment was eternally locked behind it – never more to return.

If only for the sake of my children, I made the decision to carry on with my life knowing I could only succeed if the Lord God would be my Master.

After coming to that decision, I opened my eyes and discovered an amazing thing – Peace. All those harassing voices that had tormented me throughout the past 20+ years had suddenly silenced. I knew they remained securely locked behind the eternally sealed steel door. Oh, they banged and clamored for my attention on a daily basis, but they no longer intimidated, tempted or lured me into their deadly clutches.

That night I made a lasting commitment to the Lord to serve Him the remainder of my days. In turn, He promised to be a Father to my children and a Husband to me for eternity.

Within the pages of His Spirit’s Whisperings, are excerpts from my personal journals spanning the past 25+ years. I will share the trials and the triumphs through agonizingly painful times of loneliness, fear and difficulty living this life of faith. You will also share in my times of victory and joy when the Holy Spirit whispered healing words of comfort and encouragement to my heart. You will even join me in my songs of praise to the Master, as well as inspired poetry, praising and lifting His Holy name.

It is my prayer that as you ponder the writings contained within this book, you will find comfort, healing and inspiration to praise the Lord for His absolute faithfulness in walking with