All of My Soul

By Jenni Wilder

Things have never been better for Jillian. She’s working hard at her internship, her thesis is going to blow her professors out of the water, she’s excited to find a job after graduation, and she has Lincoln. She never feels happier than when she and Lincoln are together. He makes her feel happy and loved, something she’s never had before.
But slowly her life begins to unravel. Someone is stalking and harassing her, no one seems to want to hire her, and after a serious attempt on her life, she finds out Lincoln has been lying to her... again.
It’s hard to keep your life together when it seems there is someone out there desperate to tear everything apart. Why her? Why now? And most importantly, are Jillian and Lincoln strong enough to survive it together?

Although All of My Soul is the sequel to All of You both books are complete stories with satisfying endings. However, for optimal enjoyment I do recommend reading them in order. Both books contain mature content and may not be suitable for everyone, especially those under 18.

This is a 90,000 word-count full-length novel.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jenni Wilder
• Release date: Apr 24, 2015
• ISBN: 9781311430816

Jenni Wilder

I'm so grateful you decided to view my page! Thank you for your interest! I currently only have one book, All of You. It's the steamy love story between Jillian and Lincoln. Hopefully it tugs at your heart stings and makes your fall in love with them, just as I have! All of You is my first attempt at writing! I have cried, laughed, and shook my head at some of the things Jillian and Lincoln did, but in the end, it was such an amazing experience to write their story.

Book preview

Happy Valentine’s Day, Princess. Lincoln’s soft breath tickled at my ear as I woke in a giant, fluffy hotel bed. Something soft and silky brushed down the bridge of my nose, and I smiled as the smell of roses invaded my senses.

This was my first Valentine’s Day ever as part of a couple, and I was excited to celebrate the day with the love of my life. I had always pretended not to be bothered by this day dedicated to celebrating love and romance, but secretly I was always jealous of couples that were able to properly enjoy it. Anyone who says you don’t need a specific day to tell you when and how to celebrate love is wrong. Yes, it might be a made-up day invented to bilk love-struck couples out of their hard-earned money by telling them they need flowers, chocolates, and jewelry in order to be happy but I didn't care. I had waited a long time to properly celebrate this day with someone who loved me, and I wanted to bask in it.

I opened my eyes and found Lincoln propped up on his elbow, smiling down at me and holding up a single red rose.

A wide smile erupted on my face. I took the rose from him and held it to my nose, inhaling deeply. Mm… thank you, baby. Happy Valentine’s Day to you too.

He grinned and leaned down to kiss me.

Where’d you get the flower?

I have my ways, he answered with a teasing smile.

When he leaned back, I was able to see the remainder of our hotel room behind him. I quickly put on my glasses and saw a large bouquet of roses in a glass vase sitting on the bench at the foot of our bed. A light coat of silver glitter shimmered on the rose petals in the sunlight that filtered in through the french doors that led to the balcony of our penthouse hotel room.

Ooh, they’re beautiful, I said as I sat up, clutching the bedsheet to my chest. No one has ever given me flowers before. Thank you so much.

Lincoln sat up with me, and I hugged him around his shoulders before kissing him hard on the mouth.

Lincoln had a game against the Boston Bruins later that day, but he’d refused to spend Valentine's Day away from me, so I’d shifted my work schedule around so we could be together while not losing any more research time at my internship.

We had flown into Boston late yesterday afternoon, and Lincoln had spoiled me all evening. We checked in to our hotel, and he surprised me with a ginormous penthouse suite with a king-sized bed and Jacuzzi tub in the bathroom.

Lincoln hired a town car and driver to take us to several tourist spots, including the Cheers bar (the inspiration for the television show) and the Old State House where the Declaration of Independence was first read. It gave me chills to be this close to history. I had never been here before, and I quickly fell in love with this city. I was so glad to be exploring it with Lincoln, although I wished it wasn’t winter. I had wanted to walk through Boston Common, the huge park in the middle of the city, but even after Lincoln bought me a giant cup of hot chocolate from a quaint little coffee shop, the weather and cold temps made it impossible to stay and enjoy the quiet peacefulness of the park. We eventually were forced to retreat from the cold back to our hotel room where we spent the evening warming each other up.

Lincoln pulled me out of my reminiscing about the previous night by breaking our kiss and telling me, I have something for you.

Something more? I asked. This trip, the hotel room, the flowers? They're more than enough. I’m just happy spending time with you. I cupped his face with my hands and kissed him lightly.

Mm… God, I love you, but this trip and the hotel room aren’t part of your present, and you deserve more than just flowers.

I told you I’ve never gotten flowers before. They mean the world to me. 

I’m glad, baby, he said with a smile and pulled me into his lap. He reached behind him and pulled out a small rectangular box wrapped in red paper with a shiny red ribbon. But you deserve more than just flowers.

I bit my lip and took the box from his hand. What’s this?

Open it, he instructed.

I hesitated. He had probably spent a lot of money on this. My present to him wasn’t anything grand. Lincoln never blinked twice when it came to paying for something, especially when he was spoiling me. I didn’t want to seem like a gold digger, even though I knew Lincoln would never think that, but I still usually argued with him when it came time to pay for something.

So it was with trepidation that I slowly ripped off the paper and revealed what looked like a jewelry box covered in black velvet.

Oh, Lincoln.

Open it, he said again.

I cracked the box open and found a delicate watch nestled on a white satin pillow. The face was white with tiny slivers of what I guessed to be diamonds surrounding it. The band was wide and made up of several strands of pearls. It was gorgeous and expensive-looking, and it wouldn’t match a thing in my closet. Not that I cared, though. I would wear it with yoga pants and an old T-shirt simply because it was a gift from Lincoln.

Did you pick this out?

Lincoln nodded. Kennedy went with me to make sure I didn’t choose anything horrible, but yeah, I picked it out. 

I smiled up at him. I will cherish it forever, Lincoln.

He let out the long breath he had been holding in and looked at me with amusement.

I was preparing for a fight.

Because of the money?

Yeah, he admitted.

Lincoln, this is my first Valentine’s Day present from you. It’s priceless to me.

His face erupted in a huge smile. So you like it?

It’s gorgeous. I love it. Will you help me put it on? I held my arm out to him, and he delicately attached the ends around my wrist. 

I turned it over so the face of the watch was up, and we admired it. Thank you, baby. I turned my lips up to kiss him, and he willingly complied, but when he attempted to deepen the kiss, I pulled back. You get a present too.

Lincoln wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. I have all I need right here.

I smiled and kissed him quickly but then wiggled out of his grasp. I crawled to the edge of the bed and grabbed my silky white robe from where I had left it at the foot of the bed. I quickly wrapped it around myself to hide my nakedness. It was one thing to be naked around Lincoln when we were in the throes of passion, but it was another to be walking around the hotel room naked in front of him. I know it didn’t make sense, but it was ingrained in me to hide my scars, and sometimes they still made me self-conscious no matter how many times Lincoln told me how beautiful he thought I was.

Hey, Lincoln said, and I looked back at him. He scooted out of bed and stood in front of me, tugging on my robe. What are you doing?

I’m getting your present, I answered, confused. 

Why did you cover up?

I looked down at my robe. Oh. I… don’t know. I said shyly. It really was ridiculous that I would be uncomfortable around him, considering all we’d done together.

He grasped my chin and gently pulled my face up so I had to look at him. You’re beautiful. I would have you naked all the time if it were up to me, so don’t ever think you need to cover up around me, okay?

I pinched my lips together but nodded despite my embarrassment. It was still hard to believe him when he said those things.

He pulled at the sash around my waist that was holding my robe shut and ran his fingers along my collarbone, pushing the robe off my shoulders.

I heard his breath catch as my robe silently fell to the floor. If I ever doubted he wanted me, that doubt was gone when he pulled me close to him and I felt him grow hard against my pelvis.

God, how I wanted him. I slid my hands up his chest, over his shoulders, and linked my fingers around his neck. His face turned serious as I rose up on my toes to kiss him. He leaned down to me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

Wait, I said, pulling back from him. He arched his eyebrows, wondering why I’d stopped. I want to give you your present.

Later, he demanded and pulled me back to him. I need you. His voice was deep and husky, and it made me clench in anticipation.

Oh well, I thought. It was Valentine’s Day, after all. We had all day for presents.

~~~~~~~~

We lay in bed for a while after our morning lovemaking before Lincoln got up to use the bathroom. As soon as he was out of sight, I jumped up out of bed and rooted through my duffel bag until I found my purchase.

Feeling giddy, I pranced back to bed and flopped down on it before Lincoln was done in the bathroom. I returned to the same position I had been in when Lincoln left—on my back in the middle of the bed—and placed Lincoln’s present on my stomach. The sheet pooled around my waist as I threw one arm over my head, leaving my breasts exposed. I closed my eyes and tried to hide the smile on my face as I waited for Lincoln to return.

After a short moment, I felt the bed dip next to me, and it suddenly became harder to hide my smile. I peeked out from under one eyelid, and I saw a naked Lincoln crawling up the bed with a giant grin on his face. I couldn’t keep my composure any longer, and I let a small giggle escape.

His strong hands gripped my hips, and he dug his fingertips into my skin, applying pressure at just the right place.

I squealed loudly and attempted to twist out of his grasp, but he moved a hand higher to my waist and lightly fluttered his fingers against my unscarred skin.

No. No. No. No, I begged between giggles. Baby, don’t. Please don’t. I pushed at his wrist, trying to get him to stop tickling me.

He laughed loudly but gave in to my begging and stretched out next to me on the bed.

I love tickling you, he said as he snuggled up next to me.

I let out a small laugh. Why?

He thought for a moment. I think it’s because it makes your tits jiggle, he answered without any shame.

Oh my God. You pervert. I smacked him lightly on the chest.

Ow! Lincoln dramatically clutched at his chest where I hit him. Why do you have to be so violent? Geez!

He was joking. I’d barely touched him and honestly, even if I had hit him with all my strength, he got hit with much worse every time he stepped on the ice.

I held Lincoln’s present in my hand and rolled so I was mostly lying on top of him. You wimp, I teased. My big strong hockey man can’t take it?

With a mischievous glint in his eyes, he grabbed my wrists and twisted his hips, causing me to roll off him. I laughed and let out a playful squeal as he pinned my arms next to my head and settled his hard body on top of mine. His carefree, flirtatious mood suddenly disappeared as he peered down at me, replaced with a serious, anxious look on his face.

Every time you laugh, the sound gets me right here. He touched the center of his chest. I feel like my heart is about to explode with joy, and the look on your face when I tickle you? I want you to always look that happy. And that, my princess, is why I love tickling you.

I twisted my wrist free from his hand and ran my fingers over his cheek. Lincoln… It’s only because of you. You make me happier than I’ve ever thought I could be.

Good. I’ll do anything to make you happy. You know that, right?

I smiled and wove my fingers through his hair, tugging on it slightly. "You don’t have to do anything. Except open your present." I turned the small box over in my hand calling his attention to it.

He made a face and moved his free hand to my waist. How about I just tickle you again?

No! No, Lincoln. Come on. Open your present. I pushed against his chest although I wasn’t strong enough to move him.

He let out a large sigh.

What? What’s wrong?

I don’t like it that you spent your money on me. I know money is tight for you.

Are you kidding me? I pushed against his chest again, and this time he rolled off me. You just got done telling me you were preparing to fight over you spending money on me, and now we’re going to fight about me spending money on you?

It’s different, and you know it, he said in a stern voice.

How could this possibly be different? It’s the same thing only in reverse.

And that makes all the difference. I don’t care about my money. They throw truckloads of it at me because they are grateful I wanted to stay in Chicago.

I made a frustrated noise. Why was he going on about this?

The money doesn’t mean anything to me because I have you, he said as he rubbed my side. You are all I need. All I want. Do you get that? So if being rich means I get to spoil you, then great. But you, on the other hand, work your butt off for every penny you have. That’s worth more to me than a million fancy watches.

Ugh. Lincoln. Please don’t ruin this for me. I got you this because I thought you’d like it. I’m excited to give it to you. End of story. I wouldn’t have bought it if I couldn’t afford it.

He sighed loudly and looked down at the box in my hand. Fine. But I’m only accepting this because I know someday my money will be your money as well.

I furrowed my eyebrows as Lincoln shifted up farther in the bed and leaned back against the headboard. Did he mean what I think he meant? On rare occasions we talked about being together in the future, but it was another thing when he said it that way.

He took the box from my hand and kissed my forehead as I sat up and snuggled against him. I watched as he slowly pulled on the end of the red ribbon that was tied in a bow around a white box. It unraveled and fell to the bed. He flipped opened the top of the flimsy cardboard box to reveal a bronzed metal rectangle nestled inside a ball of tissue paper. It was slightly bigger than the size of a book of matches. Lincoln reached into the box, and when he pulled out his hand, the rectangle was dangling from his index finger by the keychain attached to it.

He held it up at eye level. Um… thanks?

I smiled and took it from his hand, holding it up properly in front of him. With the push of a button, the screen flashed to life and the words I love you scrolled across in fancy script. I moved my finger to another button and pressed down. A picture of Lincoln and me holding each other and smiling came up on the screen. I pushed the button again, and it changed to a picture of the two of us holding hands and ice-skating with Tabitha at the pond near my house.

I looked up at Lincoln and found he was looking down at me with a wide smile on his face. He took the digital-picture-frame keychain from my hand and pushed the button. A selfie I had taken and sent him after the Hawks lost a game showed up on the screen. My eyes were crossed and my nostrils were flared wide, giving my face the weirdest look. Lincoln chuckled and pushed the button again, and the picture dissolved into another selfie of me. This time I was blowing a kiss to the camera.

Lincoln shifted against the headboard and moved his arm over my shoulders. We snuggled closer together as he continued to flip through the pictures until he got to the last three. They were my favorites. The third-to-last picture was a close-up of the two of us smiling for the camera. The next picture was the same shot, only Lincoln and I were gazing at each other with an earnest look of love on both our faces. The final picture was the same shot again, but this time Lincoln and I were kissing deeply like we couldn’t control ourselves, which was basically how I felt around him the majority of the time.

Lincoln pushed the button to flip to the next picture, but the screen faded to black, signaling the end of the slide show. I looked up at him to ask if he liked it, but before I could say anything, Lincoln’s mouth was on mine, kissing me with an intense passion.

I smiled against his lips. I guess he liked it.

~~~~~~~~

Lincoln had to be at the rink early for practice before the game, so we ordered room service for brunch before he left. I didn’t want him to go. Our alone time last night and this morning had been so wonderful, but obviously it couldn’t last forever. At least he looked as disappointed as I felt that our time together was over.

I was putting on my silky white robe when a knock on our hotel door surprised me. Lincoln had left about fifteen minutes earlier, and he had a key, so I figured it couldn’t be him. Maybe it was room service wanting our dirty plates and flatware.

I clutched my robe tightly to my neck and peeked out the peephole. It was two female hotel employees, both dressed in cream-colored smocks with the hotel’s golden insignia on the upper left chest.

I cracked the door open. Yes?

One of the women spoke. Mrs. Monaghan? Your husband ordered an in-room spa session for you. Is now a good time?

I chuckled in disbelief. My husband?

Both the women smiled widely. He said to tell you happy Valentine’s Day.

I hid my face in one hand to hide my chagrin as I opened the door wider to allow the women to enter. One of the women carried a large folded, padded table, and the other woman wheeled in a portable stand of nail polishes and manicure tools. I tried to assist the woman who was carrying the table. It looked heavy, but she just ushered me aside with a friendly smile. So while they set up, I texted Lincoln.

"Two random women knocked on our hotel door and tried to give me a massage and manicure. They insisted my husband ordered it for me, but I assured them there was no one married in this hotel room. How weird is that?? ;)"

I waited for Lincoln’s reply while one of the women filled a small bowl with hot water from the bathroom. The other woman carefully arranged some bedsheets on the padded table. She held up what appeared to be a towel with a band of elastic around the top.

We’ll step into the hallway while you change. She unbuttoned the towel. These snaps go on the side so I can unbutton them as needed during the massage.

Her voice was soft and tranquil as she gave me the instructions, but unease began to bubble up inside me. Images of my scarred skin flashed to the front of my mind.

Um. Is it possible to not be naked during this?

Absolutely. We can do whatever you are comfortable with. Mr. Monaghan mentioned you might not want a full-body massage, so if you want just a shoulder and arm massage or a foot massage, I can do that.

Oh, Lincoln, Lincoln. My sweet, thoughtful, caring man.

Okay, I told the women and took the robe. I’ll just be a second.

They nodded and stepped into the hall. I quickly exchanged my proper robe for the special massage towel and secured it under my arms before checking myself out in the bathroom mirror, making sure there wasn’t too much revealed.

I looked at my phone to see if Lincoln had replied. I now felt a small twinge of guilt that I hadn’t said thank you.

"Turns out they were looking for me! How about that? :) I freaking love you, Mr. Monaghan. So much. Thank you."

I was about to set my phone down when Lincoln texted me back.

"I freaking love you so much too. Someday you will have my last name, but for now, enjoy your pampering. Happy V Day. See you later."

I felt giddy as I replied to him, telling him to have a great game and to stay safe. Every time I thought I couldn’t love him more, he showed me there was a greater depth to our love, and I felt even more beguiled by him every day. I still had my doubts, of course. A part of me thought I was overreacting because he was my first boyfriend. Another part tried to convince me that eventually Lincoln would grow tired of me. But I was getting better at ignoring those voices and putting my faith in Lincoln. He told me he loved me every day, and that was enough to block out the negative voices for now, at least.

Chapter Two

He gave you a personal spa session in your hotel room?

Yeah. And this watch. I held out my arm to show my sister-in-law. I had been telling her about our time in Boston while we waited for a table at an Italian restaurant after the game. Even with the reservation Lincoln had made for us, we still had to wait a little while since it was Valentine’s Day and they were swamped.

My brother and Lincoln had gone to the bar to get drinks, and I couldn’t contain my smile as Molly admired my gift from Lincoln.

What? What’s wrong? I asked as she smiled at me. Her eyes seemed to tear up a bit.

Absolutely nothing. I’ve just never seen you like this. I know we don’t know each other real well considering we live so far apart, but I’m just so happy to see that you’re so happy.

I looked over at Lincoln, who was waiting for our drinks and talking with my brother at the bar. With a wide smile, I nodded in reply to my sister-in-law. I am. He makes me very happy.

Isn’t it weird to be dating a celebrity though? Like, that has to be crazy! His family even makes the news here sometimes.

I cringed thinking about the time the paparazzi had been waiting for us as we exited the restaurant where we had been celebrating our one-month anniversary. Those pictures floated around social media and celebrity gossip websites for a few days before it became old news.

Yeah, it’s weird. But it’s not all the time, and he and his brother and sister are so down-to-earth it’s easy to forget they are famous. None of them want anything to do with the publicity.

Our guys made their way over to us with our drinks at that point. Lincoln handed me my peach sunrise and kissed me chastely on the cheek. I wondered if he would have kissed me properly if my brother hadn’t been standing next to us.

Are you hungry? Our table is ready, he informed us.

We snaked through the crowd toward our table until I felt Lincoln tug on my hand from behind me, causing me to stop abruptly. I turned to look at what made him pause and saw a middle-aged guy pushing a napkin and pen at Lincoln with a look of awe in his eyes. Next to him a woman about the same age stood with her arms over her chest and an annoyed look on her face.

Wow! It’s an honor to meet you, the man gushed. I’m originally from Chicago and I remember the day you got drafted. I think everyone was glad we got you, and you haven’t disappointed us!

Thanks, man. Lincoln handed back the pen and napkin that now had his autograph on it. That really means a lot to hear. Have a great night.

I looked back as we walked away from the fan and the woman he was with, and I had to suppress a giggle. The man was waving the napkin in his date’s face, and she was rolling her eyes. Clearly she was not impressed.

Lincoln draped his arm over my shoulders and pulled me close against his side as the hostess led us to our table. It was in the back corner of the restaurant and was slightly sheltered from the rest of the room. I wondered if Lincoln tipped the staff in order to get some privacy.

We ordered our food and talked about the game while sipping on our drinks. My brother grilled Lincoln about his life. He asked how he spent his free time, what he did for fun, and how he behaved on the road.

I interrupted my brother when he asked that last question. What do you mean by that?

Frankie gave me a look. You know. Sleeping around, partying, drugs…

Oh my God, Francis. He’s a hockey player, not a rock star, I said in defense of my boyfriend.

There’s little difference, Jillian. Both professions mean a lot of time on the road and plenty of temptation. Am I right, Lincoln?

Lincoln cleared his throat before speaking. "You aren’t wrong. All that exists when you’re on the road and at home to