Pop Tarts: Volume 1

By Brian Lovestar

Flamboyant, tri-sexual pop star Felix is about to turn half a century and his life is a glorified hot mess. He was lead singer of 80s pop band ‘Tequila Sun’ - regularly on Top of the Pops and sweeping the board at the Smash Hits Poll Winners Party - but since their unprecedented 1988 break-up, the sun set and his life has gone nowhere fast.

After starring in a reality TV show and winning another 15 minutes of fame, he faces an ultimatum: reform the band that made him a star or impersonate his own tribute act. There’s only one problem. The band hate each other and haven’t spoken in over 20 years following an affair, an attempted murder and a scandal involving a strap-on microphone and a blow up goat.

From the author of ‘Dream Myself Alive’ comes ‘Pop Tarts’, the first in a series of novellas, combining a twisted sense of humour with soap operatic cliff-hangers, and each with a free ‘Tequila Sun’ music download.

Everybody loves a flashback to the 80s and old certainly is gold. But can Felix pull off the impossible and get back to the Top of the Pop Tarts?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Brian Lovestar
• Release date: Feb 8, 2015
• ISBN: 9781311007186

Brian Lovestar

From an early age all Brian Lovestar wanted to do was write. On school break up Friday when all the other kids took toys into school to play with, he took a notepad and pen and wrote short stories.Then he got a real job, a social life, started travelling and put his passion on hold for a while. But eventually his creative juices could no longer be stifled.

Book preview

Pop Tarts

Part 1

By

Brian Lovestar

Copyright © 2015

www.brianlovestar.com

Introduction

Brian Lovestar has always loved a flashback to the 80s and by creating ‘Pop Tarts’ he has done exactly that. So join him as he reunites 80s pop favourites Tequila Sun in the first of a brand new series of retro pop satire and enjoy volume 1 in the series.

Legal Notes

First published in Great Britain in 2015.

Brian Lovestar has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.

This is a book of fiction and, except in the case of historical fact, any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

No part of this publication may be reproduced without the prior consent of the copyright holder.

Cover image by MILA Zed @ Shutterstock

Copyright © 2015 Brian Lovestar

All rights reserved.

Chapter 1. (The Waking Lion)

The man on TV smiles and his teeth sparkle. They are a lighter shade of white so brilliant, you feel the need to grab for your shades. His face is lobster red perma-tanned, his jaw chiselled to perfection. He looks plastic fantastic. And he introduces himself:

Hello and welcome to ‘I’m a Has Been, Please Don’t Feed Me to the Lions’. I am your host Dexter Anton and tonight we see former 80s heart throb Felix from pop band Tequila Sun face off against sex siren Jade Astley, the sultry one from Pink Champagne and one of the Ants from Adam And. But first, here are the highlights from yesterday’s live feed.

The VT plays and we see Felix and Jade sitting in a cage in the jungle. Felix is wearing a loin cloth, Jade is wearing a coconut bra and a Hawaiian hula skirt. Both are covered in war paint.

Where is the Ant? Felix asks.

He’s still upset over losing Harry from Spandex Belly in the crocodile swamp yesterday, Jade replies.

The camera cuts to the Ant sat huddled in a corner by himself, rocking backwards and forwards and humming, then mixes back to Dexter in front of a live studio audience. His look of put upon sorrow soon turns into a delighted smirk and he reads his next line right off of the tele-prompter:

"Who will be next to sashay his or her has been little tushie out of the limelight tonight? Find out now in a round we like to call ‘Pass the Bomb’.

Felix, Jade and the Ant are sat in a semi-circle on a giant inflatable banana. Felix is holding a parcel which looks to be a gift wrapped cartoon-style bomb, complete with a lit dynamite fuse sticking out of the top. He looks tentative but not half as freaky outy as the Ant, while cold-as-ice Jade is as cool as a cucumber.

When 80s pop classic ‘The Lion Sleeps Tonight’ starts playing, he passes the parcel of dynamite to Jade who then in turn passes it to the Ant and so on and so forth.

After a few rounds the music suddenly stops and the Ant is left holding the parcel, which then explodes into smithereens, the Ant along with it.

The feed cuts back to the studio, where a proportion of