The Wit and Wisdom of a Nonagenarian

By Mario V. Farina

Mario V Farina is a prolific writer of short stories and slice-of-life anecdotes, puns, and life advice. This is a collection about classic cars, 9/11, career experimentation, heart surgery, Puns, playing jokes, and what it was like to live decades ago. He has seen the Information Age form, and has played a personal part in ushering computers into our lives! See what he has to say, and you won't be disappointed.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Mario V. Farina
• Release date: Dec 23, 2014
• ISBN: 9781311705921

Mario V. Farina

Mario V Farina has worked all his life, from age 18 to 90. He worked for the American Locomotive Company, served in the U. S. Army during WWII, was employed at General Electric. He taught computers at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute. After leaving his position with RPI, he became employed with the State Labor Department of New York. He’s a car buff, a pun creator, and a computer enthusiast. He wrote textbooks for the programming languages COBOL and FORTRAN and wrote a book of puns and short stories called, “A Little Light Reading,” as well as over 20 other books. Several of his books were translated into other languages. This is his first foray into the world of digital publishing, with the help of his computer tutor ([e-mail]).

Book preview

The Wit and Wisdom of a

Nonagenarian

Collected Short Stories

Mario V. Farina

Copyright 2014 by Mario V. Farina

Smashwords Edition

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior written permission of the author.

Correspondence may be directed to:

Mario V Farina

Email: [e-mail]

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Farina, Mario V.

One Small Step in Time / Mario V. Farina

ISBN: 9781311705921

First Published in Yahoo Voices

To Ann who has made and is making my story so interesting.

Table of Contents

Troy, the Home of Uncle Sam

An Acceptance of the Unknown

Ten Good Reasons for Staying on the Job

The Infamous Auto Defects Lists of Bygone Days

Sept. 11 Greif Never Died

Purchasing Gold to Help Protect Personal Wealth

Time a Non-Renewable Commodity

Miracles Only 15 Minutes a Day

10 Rules for Effective Teaching

The Use of Foul Language

A Conversation with St. Patrick’s Church in Watervliet, New York

What’s with the Incredible Shrinking Rigatoni

The Secret Life of Vowels

A Proposed New Measurement of Intelligence

Never Admit to Having Had a Senior Moment When You’re 90

Ann’s Secrets to Thrifty Shopping

Life Beyond a Diagnosis of Congestive Heart Failure (CHF)

The REACH Approach to Being of Service

Ann’s Ordeal with Open Heart Surgery

Don’t Ignore the Random Comment or Event

Extreme Couponing, how Ethical is This?

What about Restrictions on Guns?

Everyone Should Write a Book

I Know I Can

Why not Horseshoes?

The Value of Surprise in TV Stories

How to Determine what is Real and what is not

A New Way to Multiply

Free Up Your Mind, Think for Yourself

A New National Holiday

Making Your Objective Priority One

What is a Pun?

No Such Thing as a High IQ

A Nationwide Creativity Contest

How to Be a Poet and Invent Your Own Rhyme Form

Making Your Goal Job One

The Death of Andy Rooney

Remaining Contemporary

The Rule of 72

A Good Vocabulary

Troy, the Home of Uncle Sam

The residents of Troy, New York are proud of the fact that the United States incurred the nickname Uncle Sam because of Samuel Wilson who lived in Troy and is buried on the grounds of the huge Oakwood Cemetery located in Troy.

My wife, Ann, and I decided to locate the burial site and take some pictures of it. We had never been to the Oakwood Cemetery and this was our first adventure in it. It was an experience to remember. We thought we'd find the grave site of Uncle Sam easily, expecting to see all kinds of pointer to it. This was not the case, so after spending half an hour in the cemetery, we needed to declare defeat and resolved to try again at an early time.

Despite the fact that we had not found Uncle Sam, we had been awed by the beauty and size of the cemetery. We knew we'd visit it again many times after our objective had been met. One of the most impressive places in the cemetery is on high grounds where there is an overlook allowing splendid views of downtown Troy and surrounding locations all the way to Albany in one direction and Waterford in the other. This view, alone, makes a trip to this place a worthwhile experience.

On our second trip, we got a map from a very helpful worker there named Bernie. He had marked the map to show the exact location of the site we sought. We got lost once but eventually found the grave and took photos. We are showing five photos with this story. These show the grave site, a statute of Uncle Sam in downtown Troy, and others. The chapel located on the grounds presents an awesome sight.

There are many imposing monuments and mausoleums on these grounds. There is also a place where Civil War veterans are buried. Ann and I plan to go there again and again to visit these sites and to take pictures of them. If you visit Troy, make this cemetery one of your must see locations.

An Acceptance of the Unknown

I wish you'd stop saying that, she grumbled through gritted teeth. I'm sick of hearing it.

All I had said was that I believe in only what I can see, smell, and hear. This had been my philosophy and it had served me well. Yes, I had stated this conviction many times but had had no idea that it bothered my wife, Margaret, that much.

That night I had an unusual dream. I saw the diaphanous image of a figure I sensed represented Hamlet. There are more things in heaven and earth, Robert, than are dreamt of in your philosophy. I heard these words in my mind. It amused me that my name was being used instead of Horatio. Mark well ye the camera, the phantom stated. The dream ended abruptly and vaporized from my mind.

Look! Maggie, I said when I saw the red and yellow box on the dresser in the morning. How did this get here? She asserted that she did not know. It couldn't have gravitated here by itself, I grumbled acidly. I picked up the box and studied the writing on its surfaces. Indoor, outdoor camera, twenty-seven exposures, one-time use, I muttered as