Teenagers of the 21st Century. Stories of Parents
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About this ebook
This is a book for parents of teenagers.
I will put forward some issues in order to help parents think and set strategies that will make parenthood easier. The strategies I would like to share with the reader stem from over twenty years of experience as a teacher. My insight is that of a teacher who is permanently in touch with students and parents. I am not a psychologist. I am a teacher who has learned a lot from the people he becomes involved with due to his job. Thanks to these people I have a positive outlook on life and it is my purpose to transmit it to you.
This book is packed with real anecdotes and examples. Names and circumstances have been modified out of respect for those involved. In a fast-moving, complex world there is almost no time to think. We are “moving on” the best way possible, by “winging it” on a daily basis. The real problem arises when we do not know where we are moving on to. And this is the main reason why so many parents and teenagers are bewildered.
Fernando Otero
Nací en la ciudad de Montevideo, Uruguay.En mi casa teníamos distintos animales y me gustaba cuidarlos. Pienso que por eso estudié veterinaria. En cierta oportunidad me invitaron a dar clases de biología y me gustó tanto la docencia que nunca la abandoné. Espero que no se rían, pero actualmente llevo más de veinticinco años siendo profesor.He trabajado como directivo de centros educativos y he desarrollado una intensa actividad como asesor académico en Colombia, Paraguay y Uruguay.Tanto en los talleres de ciencias naturales que realicé con alumnos pequeños, como al dar clases de biología en bachillerato, me fui dando cuenta que el conocimiento y el amor por la naturaleza que nos rodea ayudan a mis alumnos a ser más comprensivos entre ellos facilitando la empatía y a valorar sus diferencias.El trato y la amistad con cientos de estudiantes adolescentes me ayudó a conocer sus inquietudes, sus dudas y sus éxitos.
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Teenagers of the 21st Century. Stories of Parents - Fernando Otero
Teenagers of the 21st. Century
Stories of Parents
Copyright 2014 Fernando Otero
Translated into English by Stefan Fernández
Smashwords Edition
Smashwords Edition Licence Notes
Thank you for downloading this free ebook. Although this is a free book, it remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be reproduced, copied and distributed for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to download their own copy at Smashwords.com, where they can also discover other works by this author. Thank you for your support.
Some Preliminary Thoughts
You Know How to Do it
Fear of Setting Boundaries
Knowing your Children
Discovering their Talents
Please, No Adlibbing!
Understanding Authority
Silence Gives Consent
Between a Rock and a Hard Place
Let’s Call a Spade a Spade
When Teenagers Screw Up
Acting on their Behalf is Demeaning to them
Daddy-boy; Mommy-girl
Facing the Outside World
Parents Taking Initiative
Learning to Be Patient
An Old Story
Some Final Thoughts
Some Preliminary Thoughts
This is a book for parents of teenagers.
I will put forward some issues in order to help parents think and set strategies that will make parenthood easier. The strategies I would like to share with the reader stem from over twenty years of experience as a teacher. My insight is that of a teacher who is permanently in touch with students and parents. I am not a psychologist. I am a teacher who has learned a lot from the people he becomes involved with due to his job. Thanks to these people I have a positive outlook on life and it is my purpose to transmit it to you.
This book is packed with real anecdotes and examples. Names and circumstances have been modified out of respect for those involved. In a fast-moving, complex world there is almost no time to think. We are moving on
the best way possible, by winging it
on a daily basis. The real problem arises when we do not know where we are moving on to. And this is the main reason why so many parents and teenagers are bewildered.
During many years of work, I have seen stories of sacrifice and tears, stories of strength and decision, of success and failure. I have seen silent, heroic acts. In those that ended well, I have seen determination, willingness to solve problems and to find new ways forward when necessary. As many things in life, countless stories will remain a secret to many but have marked the souls of those involved.
The media tells us the world is upside down, in some ways. Instead of thinking about what kind of a world we will leave our children, we should better think about what children we will leave in the world.
I am not writing about social problems, for they are obvious. I just want parents to know that by the right means they can find solutions to human problems. It is never too late; but it is necessary to take action instead of standing still. My purpose with this book is to get parents to act. Optimists act with hope, while pessimists stay quiet and disheartened.
Sometimes teachers work in tough environments, sailing against the wind, trying to do the best we can to achieve goals with faith, even if we do not accomplish everything we expect. We know that, over the years, students and parents remember us lovingly.
It is not my wish to make a small contribution, for small contributions are so light, the wind blows them away. I wish to plant a seed in the reader’s soul. This seed, as the living thing that it is, will hopefully grow on its own to become a leafy tree that will embellish the landscape.
On a side note, I have written some pages for youngsters, published under the title Adolescence: A Bridge to Go Over. Stories of Students. That book includes real stories of students. It may even help parents, if they read it, to understand their teenagers a little better. These two books could be understood as the faces of the same coin. It starts with the parents. If they wish to impart wisdom, the first thing they need to do is make it a fact.
You Know How to Do it
As news programs show us, we dwell in a complicated social environment. We are bombarded by all kinds of crime: raping, robbery, murder, mugging… Everybody could tell a real story about something that happened to them or to a relative or neighbor regarding these issues, and this proves society’s downfall and people’s bewilderment.
I think a general confusion reigns in our society. Maybe all throughout the history of our country and even until a few years back, it was easier to tell the difference between right and wrong, but not anymore. In the environment students and parents dwell in today, parents’ attempt to educate becomes hard.
Being a parent was easier when your kid was little. But now, with a teenager in the house, you have bigger problems. There is the environment, on one side, and your kid on the other. Those are two scenarios you have to enter; two scenarios where we, as educators, want to play a good part.
We the teachers want to teach the classes peacefully and give good grades. We would like students to pay attention, study and learn what we teach. But this is not the case. It is so not the case that, on occasion, teachers must hold meetings with the police in order to solve problems involving students.
As a matter of fact, I recently participated in a teacher-police meeting with those in charge of drug-trafficking investigation to tackle the issue of drug addict students at a high school I work at. We, the teachers, have become social firefighters,
we must dampen down flameless fires with devastating consequences for us all.
It would be too naïve to dream about ideal situations (which may never take place.) We must deal with what lies in front of us and improve it.
During some talks I have had with parents I have realized that they do possess common sense, strong, valuable beliefs and enviable, natural wisdom. However, they seem to be stuck in an inferiority complex. Generally, this complex becomes evident through their fear of being regarded as set in their ways.
They come to the talk fearing that their ideas would not be up to snuff, when in reality they truly are valuable, smart people.
What happens is our environment confuses us. Today, if a parent tells their teenager to do something, they may be regarded as bossy. If they comment on their outfit, they are fuddy-duddies. If they do not buy their teenager something they want, they assume their parents do not love them. The environment puts great pressure on parents, who become insecure and pass that insecurity on to their children.
Even if you cannot have everything under control, you are, as a mother or a