Waiting, Hoping, Wishing

By Nic Starr

This is the story of best friends Dean and Matt.

Friends since childhood, they are close but not as close as Dean would like them to be. When Matt moved to Melbourne with his partner, Dean finally let go of his dream for them to one day be together.

But when Matt calls to say his relationship has failed, Dean dares to feel a glimmer of hope. But he needs to overcome his own fears if he is to fight for their happily ever after.

61 pages (approx.)

• Language: English
• Publisher: Nic Starr
• Release date: Jul 18, 2014
• ISBN: 9781502239716

Book preview

Chapter One

Dean came out of the bathroom and made a flying leap onto the bed, landing on his stomach. At the same time, he reached out to the bedside table and snatched up the phone, hitting the send button.

Hello? he greeted as he flipped over onto his back.

Hey, Dean, it’s me. He smiled at the voice and the familiarity that meant Matt didn’t need to introduce himself.

Hey, Matt. How are things? He fully expected small talk and the usual fine, so he was surprised by the response.

Fucked. Matt cut straight to the point.

Dean had absolutely no idea how to respond, so he stayed silent. After a moment or two, Matt filled the silence with his quiet voice.

Stuart and I are splitting up.

Dean continued to stare at the ceiling, unable to voice a response, heart singing just a little inside, but at the same time, immediately recognising that Matt would be hurting.

It’s been coming. I mean, you know things haven’t been the best lately.

Yeah, but I thought you guys were working it out?

So did I. Well, at least I thought things were on the improve. It seems Stuart didn’t have the same idea. Dean waited for Matt to go on, but he didn’t continue.

Dean had played sounding board to his friend over the last couple of months, listening as Matt confided the problems that he and Stuart were having. They’d met in Sydney, being introduced through a friend of a friend, and been together for a couple of years now. About a year ago, Stuart had a job offer in Melbourne, and Matt had successfully arranged a transfer within the company he worked for and had followed his boyfriend to the new city. The first six months had gone really well, at least according to the stories Matt had shared— a great terrace house, good jobs, new friends, new restaurants and hot clubs to visit. The last six months were not so rosy.

As far as Dean was aware, it came down to a clash of what they wanted out of life. Matt had tired of the party scene. He’d not been a huge club goer while in Sydney, enjoying the occasional big night out, but being just as happy getting together with friends for a quiet dinner, getting out of town for the weekend, catching a movie or doing something a bit more active. Dean and Matt had spent many a great time together indulging in their shared passions for all these things.

During the new flush of his relationship with Stuart, Matt had seemingly embraced the excitement of a new group of people and being on the arm of his handsome new admirer, but Dean knew he’d been ready to settle down around the time of the move to Melbourne. Rather than wanting to move to Melbourne to set up a home, it seemed that Stuart had gotten itchy feet and just wanted a fresh party scene. And it was clear from the conversations he’d had with Matt, that Matt had been happy to enjoy the new experience, at least for the first few months, until he realised it was pretty much the same shit, different city.

It turns out he doesn’t want to settle down, isn’t ready for a commitment. What does he think relocating to another city is, if not a commitment? Matt sounded more angry than hurt. I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t think he was making a commitment. It may not have been half the way around the world, but I had to negotiate with work, find a new home, leave my family and friends. Leave you.

Dean remembered the night Matt told him he was moving as if it were yesterday, and not a year ago. That was the night he realised he’d left it too late to finally tell his best friend how he felt. Not that he would have, but the possibility had been there— he could have. Acknowledging that admitting the truth was no longer an option was like permanently closing a door, turning the lock and throwing away the key— final, absolute… heartbreaking. So Dean had just continued doing what he’d always done, locked away his feelings and continued to love and support his friend from afar.

Dean finally found his voice.

Is there anything I can do? Do you want to talk about it? Please say no, please say no. He didn’t think he was up to offering advice, not without being able to psych himself up to it. He needed preparation and time to get himself into a calmer state.

No, at least not yet. But I do need to get away. I need some time to clear my head. I was thinking of coming to Sydney the weekend after next. Is it okay if I bunk down at your place?

You know it is. There’s always a place for you here. Just let me know your flight details and I’ll pick you up from the airport.

Thanks, Dean. I knew I could count on you. I’ll catch a cab, though, and see you back at your place if that’s all right.

Sure, no worries. See you then.

Dean hit end and dropped the phone on the bed beside him, then fell back onto the pillows and exhaled with a big sigh. Hope flared briefly as he realised that Matt would now be single and available, but he stamped it out quick smart. He knew there was no way Matt could fit into his life, not in the way he wanted anyway. He stared at the ceiling, watching the fan slowly circulating, and contemplated the coming weeks with a sense of foreboding and anticipation.

****

Dean worked tirelessly to make something of himself, to gain the skills and experience he needed to eventually establish his own business. It was hard work, but he was proud of what he’d managed to accomplish in a relatively short time. Dean’s apprenticeship had taught him the skills of a plumber. It wasn’t the sort of job that suited everyone. He’d been the butt of a few jokes amongst his friends, and quite a few comments had been made about the downside of clearing out people’s pipes, but hey, someone