Coping with Seperation and Divorce

By Frederick Nurse

The fangs of terror have struck. Perhaps you were the one thrown out of the house. Your ex took all of your money, drained your resources, burned your clothing, slashed your tires, called your relatives and friends telling them you are a dog, sent letters of complaint to your boss, stood up in church proclaiming you as wicked and even had the audacity to poison your cat.
The first and most lasting advice is to do everything you can to avoid this train wreck. Try to reconcile, reconcile, and—again, I say—reconcile.
Separation is a prelude for a right or wrong decision. Use this time wisely, examining yourself with a keen interest on preserving your investment.
You must encourage yourself whenever possible. Mentally and spiritually, you are under attack. Expect to be bombarded with reminders affirming your failure. Your ex calls and says you are lousy in bed. Your boss reminds you how your work is falling off. Your child innocently conveys a subtle message they heard that undermines your character. A close friend refuses to return your call. A parent nags you about how you are not handling your responsibilities.
Your ex-spouse quietly believes you are going to be down on your knees in despair. They may never admit it, but deep down they would like to see pay back for the anguish they believe you caused them. To the contrary, stand tall and let them see how you are affirming your faith and holding tightly to your belief system
Do not allow your personal feelings to direct you to do anything that you may regret later. Yes, it hurts; yes, you are mad as hell—but maintain your composure. The other side may just be waiting to prove that you are the low-down, dirty S.O.B. they are telling others you are.
Look back and try to recognize what must have unsettled you or your partner. Most always, the accumulation of things leads to the final destruction of the partnership. Nonetheless, it usually boils down to one or two issues. What were they, and how did you handle them? Whatever the final straw may have been, can you see it in your heart to forgive?
Why did it have to come to this? Have you ever asked yourself, if only I could somehow roll back the clock and as if nothing had changed? The kids will have a tendency of voicing how much they missed the old times. Then there is the bitter reminder that another person is violating a part of your being that was sacred. Your former is now in the arms of someone else, and you are pretending to be enjoying the warmth of a surrogate, but it is different.
Encourage yourself; always reaffirming that you are a great and wonderful person deserving of love, respect and admiration. Do not try to be macho—cry and shout out all of the deeply buried pain. The longer you let this stay inside of you, the more it will simmer and grow. You will know when you walk the path of harm, taking up new habits that you know are bad for you that you have reached your max..
If following careful thought and meditative supplication your spirit directs you to dissolve the marriage, then do so. However, make certain that you have done this with vigilance and not at the direction of your ego or the influence of a new lover-in-waiting. If you must separate, exit the union respectfully.
This eBook is a working tool that will help you to cope with your emotions, thus preparing you for a rich and fulfilling tomorrow.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Frederick Nurse
• Release date: Sep 3, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310674259

Frederick Nurse

Fred Nurse Character and service: Married for 47 years and have six adult children and 11 grandchildren, He worships in Brooklyn, NY, A graduate of Hofstra University, School of Business Retired from medical sales Current Board Member of the Brooklyn Council of Churches, Lecturer on World History Former Sunday School, Served as an Elder in Presbyterian Faith Serves the poor in Brooklyn in numerous Community Programs Awards and Credits: Honored as Father of the year by the County Executive of Nassau County, NY Honored by the Jamaican Business Resource Center for Business Acumen.

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Coping With Separation And Divorce

By

Frederick G.Nurse

PUBLISHED BY:Frederick G. Nurse on Smashwords

Copyright © 2014 by Frederick G. Nurse

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Table Of Contents

Introduction

1. Picking up the Pieces

2. Be at Peace with Thy Self

3. The Horror Show

4. Reflecting on Yesterday

5. Post-Mortem

6. Looking Over the Shoulder

7. Final Thoughts

About the Author

Introduction

Coping with separation or divorce is a bitter and heartbreaking experience. Separated from the one to whom you once swore unending love, is not a cakewalk. Make no mistake about it, this hurts. Those many dreams and hopes are now shattered. Every sane thought seems to settle around this painful bruise in your core. Are you receiving calls from friends and relatives, all asking the same question: why? As a defensive maneuver, you concoct a rehearsed script that mollifies the unending painful inquiries. However, it seems not to work. The calls and questions are incessant, each an annoying reminder of what you are struggling to put behind you.

One of the kids gets sick so you make an appointment to see the doctor. Pulling out the familiar medical card, only to be told it is no longer valid. You learn the credit card has been cancelled also. The rent is due and the amount your spouse would normally pay was not deposited in the checking account. They took the car, and you must find alternative transportation. Darn it, you will not get paid for another week. What now? You are too embarrassed to ask for help from your parents and friends. You need medication, the kids need new shoes, your tooth hurts, the clothing you need for work is at the cleaners, and you are dead broke. And there you stand in the middle of the kitchen screaming in torment.

Is this awful saga familiar? Put this tale of woe behind you, nothing can possibly undo yesterday. Just let it go and stop persecuting yourself. If you are not predisposed to prayer, now is a great time to start. You will need all the energy, guidance and assistance possible to overcome the bitter pill of divorce.

The material you will discover in this eBook is meant to be used as a working document. There will be exercises for you to complete that are intended to help you during this travail. More importantly, you will learn the reasons why your partnership has come under attack and ways to prevent or correct similar concerns either with the present partner or with a future companion.

Disclaimer

Please note the author is not a clinical professional. The information contained in this eBook is strictly empirical, collected over some forty-four years of marriage and the raising of six adult children. Moreover, the principles that will be presented have served as guiding benchmarks for the author and others.

1. Picking up the Pieces

The fangs of terror have struck. Perhaps you were the one thrown out of the house. Your ex took all of your money, drained your resources, burned your clothing, slashed your tires, called your relatives and friends telling them you are a dog, sent letters of complaint to your boss, stood up in church proclaiming you as wicked and even had the audacity to poison your cat. Your very first thought is