Soul Journey Change your mind and light your fire

By Carol Reynolds

Have you ever wondered, why is this happening to me again? The answer is in ten steps, each a chapter, to heal your hurt, open your heart, design your future and break open an unlimited life. Filled with jaw dropping stories you will laugh, cry and sit on the edge of your chair as you enjoy personal growth. Author, Carol Reynolds M.S., shares her coaching experiences from the couch and from the seminar room. You read a concept then a coaching story of how it is applied so you can apply it to your life. Homework that makes you think. You discover new ideas for relationships, careers and happiness. “What you believe that you don’t know that you believe,” Carol says, "unknowingly designs your life." This book will open your awareness with life changing ideas. Real ideas you implement today to improve your life and overcome resistance to your real soul journey. “Does life happen to you or through you?" Carol asks. “Changing your mind is the answer.”

• Language: English
• Publisher: Carol Reynolds
• Release date: Sep 1, 2014
• ISBN: 9780991535002

Carol Reynolds

Bio for Carol ReynoldsAchievementsEducation• University of Nevada, Master’s in EducationPublications• Journey to Love (book)• Feature articles have appeared in: Video Software Dealers Assoc., “Nevada Woman,” “InLight Times,” “Review Journal,” “Fairs and Expositions”• Numerous audiotapes, videotapes and workbooksWork History• Professional Speaker, National Seminars• CEO, WeCoach Internet Institute• CEO, Vision Network• Professional Speaker, SkillPath Seminars• Marriage and Family Therapist, private practice• Outpatient Director, Las Vegas Mental Health• Program Director, Beverly Manor Psychiatric Hospital• Host, Local and Nationally Syndicated Radio Show• Host, over 80 Television ProgramsAwards & Affiliations• Member, 1996, International Coaching Federation• Member, National Speakers Association• Woman of Achievement Award, Chamber of Commerce•Carol Reynolds has been inspiring, motivating and challenging others to go for their dreams. Carol speaks from experience: She is founder and CEO of two successful companies; a published author; a radio and television host; a licensed therapist; and the author of numerous audiotapes, videotapes and workbooks.Carol has helpedHundreds of organizations increase productivity, implement lasting change, and develop a cohesive, team-based workforce. Carol has said, “When you go from ordinary to extraordinary, your life will be full of peak experiences ... why settle for less?” Carol is dedicated to making sure her audiences don’t “settle for less” but instead, achieve more than they ever thought possible. Empowering, life-enriching and action focused, Carol’s programs tap into the heart and soul of her audience and give them the courage, confidence and real-world skills to achieve extraordinary success.Favorite Training TopicsCareer ManagementLeadershipTeam-BuildingManagement and Supervisory SkillsCommunicationSolutions for StressAcclaim“Carol’s message was strong from start to finish. I wanted to write down every word to take down and read over and over.”— Marion McCoy, Biomedical Researchers Lab“She spoke from experience and from her values. Very interactive, enthusiastic and energetic.”— C. Pressler, Carousel Fence Company“A great combination of exciting presentation and current information. I would recommend Carol to anyorganization needing training.”— Pat Hutchens, Indian Creek Health Services

Book preview

Soul Journey

Change your mind and light your fire!

by Carol Reynolds

Copyright 2014 by Carol Reynolds

Cover Design by Melody Simmons, [e-mail]

Edited by Dawn Handschuh, [e-mail]

ISBN: 978-0-9915350-0-2

Smashwords Edition

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced without prior permission by author. The events are true but the names and descriptions of characters have been changed. The author greatly appreciates your taking the time to read this book. Please consider leaving a review wherever you bought the book, or telling your friends about it, to help spread the word.

Thank you for supporting my work.

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this ebook with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this ebook and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1 An invisible block wall is stopping you.

Chapter 2 Crack open and heal your heart.

Chapter 3 Heal your past.

Chapter 4 Let it go with compassion, forgiveness and gratitude.

Chapter 5 Clean up your life.

Chapter 6 Give up the victim mentality.

Chapter 7 Build a strong, personal foundation.

Chapter 8 Take huge risks; be brave.

Chapter 9 Think big

Chapter 10 Crash your limits

About the Author

Introduction

You've picked up this book for a reason–maybe you want something. I hope you've got a really big dream, because it's going to take that. Remember your dream as you read. When you plunge yourself in this book, not simply read it, there will be moments when you want to put it down for good. When I'm telling a story that resembles yours, or working with someone to achieve a breakthrough, you may want to run. This is not fiction, it all happened.

Don't quit—just keep breathing, feeling and reading.

I lead seminars and did so for many years. I have a master’s degree, and was a state-licensed marriage and family therapist. I was also a professional motivational speaker, radio counselor, TV coach and mother of three. I shared my ideas with international audiences in every major city in the United States, Canada and Mexico. I have been in the trenches with people who wanted a better life. I would be still, but I lost most of my hearing. Now I mentor others who want to do what I have built my career on.

The seminars I gave grew by word-of-mouth, so when people walked in the door, they already had an idea what was going to happen during the next few hours. My style is quirky, funny and like a laser beam of healing. Participants sometimes loved me and sometimes hated me. But as a good coach, I didn't need to be liked. My desire was to help people achieve warp speed growth in a way that mimicked my own personal development when I wanted to get my life on track.

Reaching for dreams is like climbing a mountain; in the beginning, it's an easy and beautiful climb, but then there’s a moment when you just want to quit. Nearly everyone has setbacks and disappointment at some point, but the winners of dreams just keep climbing; they don't focus on failures or obstacles.

You may question many things in this book. That’s good; it’s part of my plan.

Climb on. Light your fire!

Chapter 1

An invisible block wall is stopping you.

Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.

~Arnold H. Glasow

You have an invisible block wall that is stopping you from moving forward. You built it with every repressed feeling that turned into a frozen block in this wall. Every time you wanted to strike out, shout or cry but buried those feelings inside you instead, it became a little piece of your wall. Then bigger things happened and you consciously built your wall thicker and higher. Each time you numbed your emotions because you never wanted to feel something again, you solidified your wall. You know it is there; it has held you back many times in your life, although you may not admit that.

The time you went on a diet and quit, declined a big promotion, introduced drama into a relationship, overspent money and got yourself in debt, drank too much, popped pills, snorted coke, played with drugs or stopped when you wanted to succeed—these are all examples of hitting your wall. We’ll tackle how to tear that wall down in the first half of this book. In the second half, I’ll show you how to build a life filled with meaning, commitment, dreams and laughter. Read on and design your life.

She stood in front of the seminar group smoothing down her jacket with her eyes downcast. I can't seem to have a great relationship with a man, she stammered biting her lip. I either pick the wrong men or do something crazy to drive them away.

As I stood quietly in front of her, I thought about the shattered dreams so many of us experience, the pain from our past, accumulated rejections, abandonment and distress that shock us to wake us up!

Unfortunately, there is no rule book to show us how to live. Too often we bounce around our lives without a real game plan, randomly hitting upon successes or mistakes until we begin to get it right.

Clearly, this tall, striking woman yearned for love almost as much as she needed air to breathe. She was willing to take an enormous risk by standing in front of a group of strangers and exposing her innermost secrets, because she wanted something more.

Everything's okay for a while, she continued with a heavy sigh, but then all hell breaks loose! I'm smart enough to know that this has something to do with me, but I am so clueless in figuring out what it is.

Tears ran down her cheeks, making black mascara rivers as she continued, I get so angry, sometimes for a reason, and sometimes it's just unreasonable.

Having led hundreds of seminars coast to coast, I knew that when she started to pry the lid off her anger, she would eventually bring the real issue to the surface. Some things get repressed in childhood because they're just too much for us to cope with at such a tender age. I suspected that was the case here. Something happened to her, something so unsettling that she submerged it inside herself, keeping this potential powder keg separate from her conscious awareness and hidden from even herself.

I wanted to create a safe place for her to experience her anger. I asked two large women to stand at either side of her, facing her with one leg propped up against hers. Each woman had an arm around her waist. This positioning was meant to help her feel secure and cared for, and it also ensured she would not fall should she be overwhelmed by the emotional toll of unleashing long repressed feelings.

I knew from experience that others witnessing this event might also begin to feel intensely, so I instructed everyone to remain in the room as an additional precaution. I typically had people stationed at the doors should they be needed. Just to talk to people if they want to leave to make sure they are safe.

Watching an experience like this could trigger powerful emotions among audience members—it might even elicit something in you as you read this.

Okay, Kate, I coaxed her, just start by reaching within yourself for that anger and making sounds.

I find it easy to direct such self-discoveries partly thanks to the training I received when I earned my master’s degree, but mostly as a result of my own work in my younger years of personal growth.

Kate was making sounds now. At first they sounded contrived, but then something submerged begins to burst forward, revealing pain, grief and even outrage. She cracked open hidden wounds she didn’t even know about.

Suddenly, her terror gave voice to screams of fear and rage. Reading about this now may make it seem brutal, but it wasn’t—it actually leads to healing. The repressed feelings, once liberated, form a bridge that leads to a new reality. After doing the emotional work, many individuals watch as the puzzle pieces begin to fall in place. As for Kate, she will begin to understand and then change what has been so difficult in her approach to men.

After a few minutes, Kate began to scream the word No. Then it became Oh no, over and over again. Gut-wrenching sobs began as she collapsed (with the women carefully holding her) on the floor screaming, Oh no, Daddy, oh no!

The group was mesmerized by her experience, even as they experienced their own profound feelings. It was obvious to everyone in the room that she had succeeded in bringing forth a memory so dark she had never managed to face it before, and I knew Kate didn’t want to face it, even now.

Kate was on the floor in tears as she sobbed into the shoulder of one of the two women supporting her. Oh my God, I can't face this, no! I was 10! He hurt me, he touched me, he was on top of me, and he rubbed his penis on me. No, no, no!

The startling silence that came from shock filled the room. Everyone was completely engaged and feeling genuine compassion for this truly courageous woman.

This was just the start of a new beginning and the greatest adventure ever—inner work. It’s the kind of work that necessarily leads one into the blind zone. I knew this journey traveled would eventually lead Kate to acceptance and forgiveness, probably not in this seminar, but somewhere down the path she had just opened up to herself. Now she knew she could get through this. There really was a light at the end of the tunnel. If she followed this path, she could achieve her dream.

The shocking nature of Kate’s discovery as her cries reverberated in waves through the room was almost too much for everyone to bear. Some were reliving their own private traumas and bringing forth powerful repressed emotions. Many were crying or screaming as they remembered their own abusive experiences. All would be cleansed of noxious infections that needed to be flushed clean and healed.

Kate would be okay, because I knew she would do the work needed to restore her relationship with her father to love. I would help her understand that overcoming this resentment was a gift to her. It would never be okay that he sexually abused her, but we would restore this relationship to love.

Why do this, you may wonder. Because she loved her father before this event, and if Kate ever hoped to love another man, she would need to restore this relationship to one of love, to break her pattern of interacting with other men.

After the seminar, I asked Kate to call her father and talk to him about what happened. Kate did so, and her father admitted the abuse with honest regret and sorrow. Kate’s father requested a session with his daughter and we actually had several. He talked to her about how, during his own childhood, he was sexually abused. He talked about his distorted feelings and the behavior they led to. Kate’s father was genuinely remorseful and regretted his past treatment of her. Of course, none of that makes abuse okay. It just makes it easier to deal with. But when he admitted the truth, he gave his daughter a priceless gift.

Sexual abuse conjures up so many confused feelings among its victims. Am I crazy for feeling this way? Did it really happen like that? Am I imagining all of this?

Kate and her father continued to attend my seminars together, and they began working things out. Don’t get me wrong. It wasn't easy; in fact, it was an extraordinarily difficult and challenging process. But truth prevails. It may not always seem that way, but it does.

Throughout this book, you will learn the process of healing your past, just like Kate did.

Today, Kate and her father have a distant, but meaningful, relationship. Of course Kate is careful to never leave her children with him unattended, at my suggestion.

This kind of work is truly restorative. It restores the innocence we’re all born with. So many people feel bad, broken, betrayed, dirty, not good enough or like damaged goods. Kate sure did, after she realized why she was so angry at men. Taking what one man did to her, she generalized that all men were bad. After all, if you can't trust your father, who can you trust?

Later, Kate also had to work through her feelings about her mother. Where was her mother when all of this was happening?

Removing her emotional blocks cleared the way for Kate to begin appreciating men. I’m pleased to report she is happily married today. But even more important, she is healthy and contented.

Light your fire.

Learning, living and laughing are the best parts of life.

Feeling good about yourself and those around you is a vital piece of that formula. It’s easy to uplift your spirit temporarily when you listen to a motivational speaker, read a great book or accomplish something you thought was impossible. But how do you stay inspired every day?

That is what I’m sharing with you.

The real premise of this book is that if you are willing to do the inner work I am encouraging you to do; you will come alive with the awe and wonder of a young child and the wisdom of a healthy adult.

Each remarkable story I share here is really about you and me. We are all on the same soul journey of growing and becoming. Everything I suggest on these pages works. I have successfully applied these techniques for more than 30 years, changing forever the lives of thousands of individuals just like you.

Without a doubt, the greatest joy in healing your heart and opening your mind is finding your true life’s purpose. When you embark on this journey, you open a treasure map to your soul. Because the only thing any of us has ever really wanted is to be loved and accepted for who we are. Everything we have done was done to achieve that goal.

Every time we spend money to look good, we forget that we have to feel good on the inside to look good on the outside. Every time we assumed a happy face when we were really dying on the inside, we just wanted to be loved and accepted.

This book is a journey through your inner dimensions; it’s a place you may not even know you have. Your soul journey starts a fire that burns hotter over time. Your fire will always feed you because it is real, and so are you.

Join me to discover how to unleash who you really are. I promise you, it will make life worth living.

What’s in the way is the way.

All you have ever wanted is to feel good about yourself and those around you. You know if you start caring fully that it will fill the empty places inside. Happiness is all about fully participating in your life. Yet for all of us, keeping our promises to ourselves is a difficult task. Why is that? you may ask.

Perhaps you’ve noticed that when things start going well, you sabotage! How can that be? It’s perplexing, isn’t it? This book is about living, loving and laughing. This is a handbook to help you resolve the barriers you may not even be fully aware of. Yet to realize your full life potential, you must crush those invisible blocks you keep hitting over and over again.

On these pages you’ll find the personal life stories of individuals from all walks of life. They’ll put you on the edge of your chair, but these stories are not intended as entertainment.

Instead, ask yourself this question as you read the book: How does this person’s story of self-discovery and pursuit of the truth apply to me? Remind yourself that there’s something here for you to learn, especially when you feel reluctant to continue reading.

Allow yourself to feel and experience the stories; identify with them. Identifying with the stories means you have buried emotional wounds that are ready to heal.

You were born