Being Happy: Part 3 Managing Your Expectations

By David Tuffley

Do you want to experience a greater sense of freedom in your everyday life? When you live your life with low or no expectations, you free yourself from being attached to preconceived ideas of how life should be. Having those expectations is a constant source of worry; what if it does not happen? When you have little or no expectations, you are free to simply live, to go with the flow and experience life as it comes.

Living with low or no expectations is a tremendously liberating way to live. Feeling free and unencumbered is one kind of being happiness, one that you can generate within yourself without needing to rely on any external source.

What’s wrong with expectations? The problem is they create an attachment to certain outcomes and fear that it won’t happen. Those outcomes have to occur for us to be happy or at least not sad. If things turn out some other way, we become upset and perhaps angry and these negative emotions then erode our happiness.

When you have little or no expectations, you are free to simply live, to go with the flow and experience life as it comes.
Negative emotions like fear, doubt, worry and anger are the last things you want when trying to manifest your purpose. For this you need a calm sense of detachment. You act with confidence that your purpose will be fulfilled – the details will sort themselves out.

From our limited perspective, it may sometimes seem that things are not working out, but we must not let fixed ideas get in the way of creative solutions. It is a sign that we are not seeing the larger picture. We need to trust that everything is happening as it should be happening in the larger scheme of events.

Think of how it is with young children; they take life as it comes, moment-by-moment, accepting what happens without judgment. They have no fixed ideas, trust they will be provided for and believe that anything is possible.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Altiora Publications
• Release date: Jun 21, 2014
• ISBN: 9781311567215

David Tuffley

David Tuffley (PhD) is a Senior Lecturer in Applied Ethics & Socio-Technical Studies at Griffith University in Australia.David writes on a broad range of interests; from Comparative Religion, Anthropology, Psychology, Ancient and Modern History, Linguistics, Rhetoric, Philosophy, Architectural History, Environments and Ecosystems.

Book preview

Being Happy

Part 3

Managing Your Expectations

David Tuffley

© Copyright 2014 David Tuffley

Smashwords Edition

Published in 2014 by Altiora Publications

My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectations.

License Notes

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the work of this author.

This eBook forms part of the Being Happy series:

Being Happy: Part 1 | Being Happy: Part 2

Other books by this Author

About the Author

David Tuffley PhD is a lecturer in Applied Ethics and Socio-Technical Studies at Griffith University in Australia. David is passionate about helping people to grow into their full potential. Become friends with David Tuffley on Facebook

Dedication

To my beloved Nation of Four: Concordia Domi – ForisPax

Disclaimer

This book has been written with all due care and attention, giving guidance on how to be successful at speed reading. If followed it has the potential to greatly increase your potential to be happy.

CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

A TAOIST PARABLE

MANAGING YOUR EXPECTATIONS

NOT EXPECTING PERFECTION

WE INFLICT UNHAPPINESS ON OURSELVES

AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE

WALK LIKE ME, TALK LIKE ME

STICKS & STONES

HEALTHY EXPRESSION OF EMOTION

SIGNS OF REPRESSED ANGER

RELEASING REPRESSED ANGER

UNHEALTHY EXPRESSION OF EMOTION

HEALTHY EXPRESSION OF EMOTION

APPENDIX: ANGER MANAGEMENT

THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS

ANGER IN PHYSIOLOGICAL TERMS

STRONG EMOTION CANCELS RATIONAL THOUGHT

THREE WAYS TO DEAL WITH ANGER

SUPPRESSING & SUBLIMATING ANGER

CALMING ANGER

DO NOT WORRY ABOUT WHAT YOU CANNOT CONTROL

ARE SOME PEOPLE BORN ANGRY?

STRATEGIES YOU CAN USE

DEEP BREATHING

BEING MINDFUL

REFRAME THE SITUATION

REDUCE EXPECTATIONS

SOLVE THE UNDERLYING PROBLEM

DO NOT JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS

IS THERE A HUMOROUS