Happily Ever After . . . or Not!: Fractured Fairy Tales, #1

By B.D. Knight

Your favorite fairy tales as you've never read them before. Fractured fairy tales will give you a chuckle. Read the free preview to see what these stories are like. While written for the middle grade reader and young adults, kids of all ages will enjoy them.

The Princess & the Pea
What kind of woman complains about sleeping on a dozen mattresses and feeling a pea at the bottom? For that matter, what kind of man puts a woman through this to see if she is "worthy" of him.

Hansel & Gretel
This story has been spun a hundred different ways but Knight fractures it in a way you'll never figure out.

Little Red Riding Hood
Think you know the end of this story?

Jack and the Beanstalk
Jack meets a girl and together they take on the giant.

The Gingerbread Man
The author calls this one his favorite. It's not long but has some twists you've never seen in the original fairy tale story.

• Language: English
• Publisher: B.D. Knight
• Release date: Dec 1, 2013
• ISBN: 9781497759237

B.D. Knight

I write scary stories as well as rewriting and fracturing popular fairy tales. I warn you that when you read my stories you need to let loose your imagination. Anything can happen.

Book preview

Happily Ever After . . . Or Not

5 Fractured Fairy Tales

B.D. Knight

StoryBookLand.net

Copyright © 2013 by B.D. Knight

All rights reserved worldwide.

No part of this publication may be replicated, redistributed, or given away in any form without the prior written consent of the author/publisher or the terms relayed to you herein.

These are fairy tales and any resemblance to persons living or dead are coincidental. Really.

I’m known for my horror fiction both for adults and for young adults. I started fracturing fairy tales because I use to love watching Fractured Fairy Tales on the Rocky & Bullwinkle Show.

I needed an occasional break from writing horror so I don’t spend all my evenings checking inside closets and looking under the bed.

In my notes at the end I discuss each story so don’t sneak over there first and read the notes or you’ll spoil the stories.

While you read each story try to figure out if it will end happily ever after . . . or not.

Table of Contents

Knight’s Fairy Tales

The Princess and the Pea

Hansel and Gretel

Little Red Riding Hood

Jack and the Beanstalk

The Gingerbread Man

Notes from Knight

Knight’s Fairy Tales

Welcome to Knight’s Fairy Tales. Let me guess. You are about to read this book because you want to read some fairy tales. Am I psychic or what?

Well my fairy tales vary some from what you’ve read before. You’ll recognize many of the characters and the stories but the tales take on a life of their own. Fairy tale characters tend to show up in other stories and can throw the story for a loop.

There are also some references you may or may not catch the first time you read the stories.

The stories are meant for anyone ten and older but can be enjoyed by any one willing to suspend their concepts of reality. They will bring you more chuckles if you’re familiar with the original tales but even if you’re not, I’ll bet you’ll find yourself cracking up. But beware the endings.

If you’ve read some of the original Grimm’s Fairy Tales you know fairy tales don’t always have a happy ending. When they originally wrote them (really retold them) they were intended for adult readers. They later changed many of the endings to make them end happy and they became favorites of kids.

Still there are older tales by others that skip the happy ever after ending altogether.

Mine? Well some stories end happy, some end so-so, and some . . . some don’t come anywhere near having a happy ending.

I like to keep you guessing. Two of the questions I’m asked most are:

1. Where do you come up with this stuff?

2. Will you be writing more and how soon?

There will be more. There will be a whole lot more.

The Princess and the Pea

Prince Arrogant needed a wife. He was having a hard time finding a woman who met his standards. After all, he was a prince and would someday be king.

He visited numerous lands and met with many a fair lady but he felt none was good enough for him. He needed to come up with a plan. Traveling was wearing him down and cooking his own meals pretty much sucked. He would have to come up with a plan and he had to come up with it quickly.

King, he said to his father, who didn’t want to be called father or dad because he was, after all, a king, I need a wife.

So you do Prince.

The king was hung up on titles.

Actually I’m glad to hear you say that. I was beginning to wonder about you. So, have you found any girls who are worthy enough to be your wife?

No I haven’t. I’ve been looking though. There’s a lot of beautiful women out there but so far none is worthy of me. I need someone more like the queen.

He was allowed to call the queen Mom to her face but only when the king wasn’t around. A look of shock appeared on the king’s face. He put his hands up in a stop motion.

No Prince, the queen should not be your role model. She tries to be too independent. You don’t want that. You want a woman who will bow down to you and attend to your every need. Trust me on this prince.

So how do I go about finding a woman like that pops, I mean King,

Slip of the tongue. The king’s eyebrows rose.

I shall have your tongue removed if you call me pops again. Do you understand me?

The prince grimaced. He nodded. It wasn’t an idle threat. That’s how the prince lost one of his sisters. She had made the mistake of calling the king Dad. She mysteriously disappeared but he knew the rumors. He did not want to upset the king.

I’m sorry King. I meant no disrespect.

He needed to change the subject.

Do you think maybe we could throw a ball and invite all the women in the land to attend? I could dance with each one and choose the one that is most worthy of me?

The king had a twinkle in his eye but shook his head.

I had that idea for your older brother. We had quite a turnout. He danced with all the women no matter whether they were pretty or ugly or thin or fat. I joined in on that as well.

That explained the twinkle in his eye.

I pissed off, I mean I angered the queen. Anyway, that’s beside the point. The ball was a disaster.

The prince couldn’t remember the ball so he must have been too young. His brother was ten years older than him.

What happened? he asked.

"There was this one family that attended. The woman was ugly and so were her two daughters.