Shield: A Framework of Self-Care for Foster & Adoptive Families

By Sharla Kostelyk

Foster care and adoption are very rewarding, but carry with them additional stresses that many people are not prepared for or familiar with. This book offers practical, encouraging advice for those in all stages of the foster care or adoption journeys. It covers everything from important preparation ideas beforehand, to surviving the first weeks home, to PADS (Post Adoption Depression Syndrome), to tips and suggestions for ongoing self-care for years to come.

Written by a former foster parent and adoptive mom of many, "Shield" offers hope and support from someone who has been there. It is an essential guide for all foster and adoptive parents.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sharla Kostelyk
• Release date: Nov 15, 2011
• ISBN: 9781497771918

Book preview

Table of Contents

Title Page

Shield: A Framework of Self-Care for Foster & Adoptive Families

Table of Contents

Introduction

Why Practice Self-Care?

Preparation

Support Network

Triage

Perfectionism and PADS

Loss

Ongoing Self-Care

Acknowledgements

About the Author

Copyright © 2013 by Sharla Kostelyk

All Rights Reserved. This book may not be reproduced, transmitted or stored in whole or in part by any means, including graphic, electronic, or mechanical without the express written consent of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Table of Contents

Introduction    3

Why Self-Care?    6

Preparation      8

Education

Relationships

Financial

Practical

Support Network    18

Triage    23

What Is the Triage Stage?

12 Steps to Get Through Triage

Perfectionism and PADS    32

Loss    36

Ongoing Self-Care    38

Acknowledgements  53

About the Author    54

Introduction

We have all heard the parenting analogy of having to put on our own oxygen mask before putting the masks on our children.  We must put our mask on first to make sure we are conscious to put the masks on them. The principle behind this procedure is to be applied to all areas of our lives.  As caregivers, we must take care of ourselves so that we are able to give full and proper care to our children.  However, actually putting this into practice in our everyday lives is difficult for most parents and it can seem nearly impossible for foster and adoptive parents. 

Self-care is even more important for foster and adoptive parents than it is for other parents because foster and adopted children require more from their caregivers and the stakes are much higher.

Foster parents are in very high demand.  There are not enough foster homes in this country to meet the growing number of children entering into foster care.  There are even fewer foster parents who are qualified to meet the needs of the growing number of children entering the child welfare system requiring specialized care.  This results in greater demands being put on existing foster families, which often results in foster parent burnout.  With such overwhelming demands being put onto foster parents, how do they make time for self-care?

Adoption disruption rates are also on the rise.  Adoption disruption occurs when an adoptive family is unable to continue to care for their adopted child and that child is placed into foster care or another adoptive home.  Though a failed adoption is obviously a worst case scenario for a child who has already lost his or her birth family, it is also devastating for the adoptive family.  It is not something that any family resorts to lightly and the judgment