Parenting Pandora

By Essie Johnson

Parenting an adopted child with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) can be an immense struggle. The child's behavior is often incomprehensible. This booklet explores the child's motivation while providing hints and tips to smooth the path.

Children with RAD usually come across as highly controlling and manipulative. They despise change and will throw violent tantrums completely disproportionate to the situation. They never seem to learn from consequences, making it appear they have no sense of cause and effect. In addition, they have an incessant need for attention which can never be met.

Approaching the children using traditional parenting techniques backfires and their behavior gets worse. Things typical children respond immediately to, such as ignoring a negative behavior, escalates children with RAD.

Parents feel it is their fault. They are overwhelmed and exhausted. Friends may have fallen away, outside family members insist the parents need to either be more firm, or just let up on the child a little.

This booklet explores the motivation behind the behavior of a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder and explains why traditional parenting does not work, and alternative techniques are described. It is not the fault of the adoptive parent that their child has RAD, nor is it the fault of the child.

The story of Pandora comes from a Greek myth. Pandora received a box as a wedding gift. She innocently opened it, only to release all the evils of the world. In the end, all that remained in the box was hope.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Essie Johnson
• Release date: Jul 23, 2014
• ISBN: 9781311504296

Essie Johnson

I am the mother of 2 daughters, one each by birth and adoption. By necessity, I tried to learn everything I could about Reactive Attachment Disorder and I think I did more research than the FBI and CIA combined. What I found was a lot of general information and outdated studies but no answers to my desperate questions. I had to figure out "why", what thinking process was going into my daughters unimaginable behavior, in order to help her change.As far as my personal interests, they are a full-blown stereotype! I love cats, reading, Fiesta ware, knitting, and reality tv.

Book preview

PARENTING PANDORA

Understanding Your Child With Reactive Attachment Disorder

By Essie Johnson

Copyright 2014 Essie Johnson

Amazon Edition, License Notes

This book remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be redistributed to others for commercial or non-commercial purposes. Thank you for your support.

Table of Contents

Introduction 1

Chapter 1 Reactive Attachment Disorder 5

Chapter 2 Predictability 7

Chapter 3 Connection- Attention 13

Chapter 4 Change 19

Chapter 5 Why Typical Parenting Doesn’t Work 23

Chapter 6 Lying 29

Chapter 7 Voluntary Incontinence 35

Chapter 8 It is Not Your Fault 43

Chapter 9 Recommendations 47

Chapter 10 Suggestions for School 51

Final Words 53

Disclaimers 55

Introduction

The story of Pandora’s Box comes from Greek mythology. Pandora was created by the gods to have the best of everything, to be all gifted. When she married, she received a beautiful box. She innocently opened it, only to release the evils of the world. In the end, all that remained in the box was hope.

In 2007, my husband and I adopted a little girl who was just 4 years old. She would join our biological daughter, who was 2.

Genea was born in Ukraine and lived in an orphanage until she was adopted and brought to the United States by a couple for whom she would be their first child. She lived with them for the next two and a half years as they tried, without success, to help her.

The biggest issue as they saw it, was that she was miserable. Severely withdrawn- except for screaming fits- she even disassociated at times. They sought help, but felt therapists and doctors blamed them. Their marriage fell apart and they began to search for another family to adopt her.

My husband and I met Genea and immediately adored her. She was happy and always excited to see us. A beautiful child, the type to elicit compliments from even the most cantankerous elder. She and our biological daughter became life -long sisters the day they met, and we proceeded with the adoption.

Following several months of visits, both families met at a fast food restaurant one last time. Genea was her usual self; bouncy, charming, happy. She was indifferent to the mother, which was normal, and their final goodbye was swift and easy.

Taking my new set of daughters home, I put them both down for a nap. I did not see that happy, delightful child again for four years.

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