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    The Sexiest Elbows I'd Ever Seen
    The Sexiest Elbows I'd Ever Seen
    The Sexiest Elbows I'd Ever Seen
    Ebook55 pages44 minutes

    The Sexiest Elbows I'd Ever Seen

    By David Hadley

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    About this ebook

    When we first met she was Emeritus Professor of Post-Colonial Marmalade at the University of Ffestiniog, and she had the sexiest elbows I had ever seen. We met at the Annual Ffestiniog Tapioca-Ignoring Convention, back in the late summer of ’83. At the time neither of us had a Tapioca-Ignoring partner, so naturally – once we found our handicaps were compatible – we teamed up for that autumn’s preliminary Tapioca-Ignoring Cup rounds. Of course, with both of us being amateurs we never expected to get to the finals.
    Her name was Plenitude Cleavage and she came from the Welsh valleys, in fact she had quite a Welsh valley herself, never in my experience had I ever seen such a splendid example of nominative determinism in a woman’s body before
    [....]

    So, begins one of the greatest love stories of our age told here for the first time.

    This collection also contains several other stories of equal import, such as:

    'Shropshire Smith and the Temple of Vegetables'. A tale of adventure and excitement within a forgotten temple of one of the world's oldest forgotten civilisations.

    'The Famed Vegetable Killer of Grimsby'. Murder most foul.

    'The Dancing Sex Nuns of the Tenth Quadrant'. A story of one of the great mysteries of the far future.

    'The man with the Golden Cheese Baguette'. The tale of Britain's greatest spy and his attempt to thwart an evil genius with plans for world domination.

    'The Thing Falling Out of the Sky Incident'. Some claim there are aliens out there, waiting to invade Earth. Some say this has already happened.

    Plus other stories, such as: 'Feeling Betrayed', 'The Aftermath', 'The Perfect Woman' and others the like of which you will never have read before.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherDavid Hadley
    Release dateJun 18, 2014
    ISBN9781310534997
    The Sexiest Elbows I'd Ever Seen
    Author

    David Hadley

    A bloke who writes stuff. Fiction across and between genres. David Hadley was born in 1959. He is married with three children and lives in the Black Country, UK. He worked in the building trade and the electric supply industry. He has been a rock musician, mature student, househusband and stay-at-home dad. His writing has been published in several magazines in the UK and US. Many of his pieces have been Cherry-picked by the editors at abctales.com, including some selected as Story of the Week. (http://www.abctales.com/user/38640). Some reader comments: “Mysterious and lovely, who is she, god or woman, or both?” “I think I just broke all my vital organs laughing” “Exciting story, mysterious woman, like the sunshine ending!” “Some really great images here....” “The hamsters of doom. Dammit, that’s poetry. Well done” “What a gift you have” “I just sprayed barely masticated tomato all over my keyboard from laughing too hard” “there are lots of superlatives, but I'm sure you've heard them all before. Great story.” “Great story - fine twists.” “This is stunning, I've read it over and over again and will do many times today.” “This made me laugh so much, tears came into my eyes....” “Wow, that's beautiful, and beautifully written.” “oh my god....I just about died laughing reading this...it’s genius! Pure genius! Especially the bit about the fluffy particle...too funny.” “this really made me laugh. I shall never look at a cup of tea in the same way again.” “This is simply gorgeous, poignant and bittersweet. Thank you for this” “fantastic! Love this line: 'where all the rules are torn / to scatter like coloured confetti '” “highly creative and hilarious as always”

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      Book preview

      The Sexiest Elbows I'd Ever Seen - David Hadley

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