Mother Knows Best

By Andrew E. Moczulski

Eric Margrave, monster hunter for hire, and his ghostly partner, Lydia, have faced some truly horrible things in their short partnership. Ghosts, mad werewolves, and berserk gods have fallen before them.

Then Eric's mother comes to visit, and it all falls apart.

Katya Margrave is not the world's best mother. But she may very well be the world's best sorceress. When someone with that kind of power asks for a favor, familial affection only earns you so much leeway. In short order, Eric finds himself dragged halfway across the planet on what may possibly be his least favorite case ever.

But on the bright side, whatever hideous monsters threaten his life? They will probably still be less scary than the one who used to change his diapers.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Andrew E. Moczulski
• Release date: Jun 29, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301497966

Andrew E. Moczulski

Long-time writer, short-time trying to sell it! See some of my above links for examples of non-professional fanwork; they aren't to the same standards of professional quality as what I will post for sale, but they give a decent idea of my style. I hope to be around for a long time, so please, I hope you enjoy my stories as much as I enjoyed writing them.

Book preview

Mother Knows Best

A Slayer of Evil (Prices Negotiable) Story

By

Andrew E. Moczulski

Copyright 2013, Andrew E. Moczulski

Smashwords Edition

*****

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This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locales is purely coincidental. The characters are productions of the author’s imagination and used fictitiously.

The world is a horrifying pit of despair and suffering that will inevitably pin you down and melt your soul like some kind of spiritual battery acid. At the times when you think you're truly safe and happy, that's when the darkness swoops in out of nowhere to destroy you. I should have known this, but I was a fool. I allowed myself to hope that there was something like goodness and decency in this universe.

I should have known better.

The phone rang, and I answered, and began the long, slow plunge into eternal horror.

Brown residence, Thomas sp— I began.

Eric, I don't have time for the the fake names, my brother's voice said. You have a problem, en route.

I blinked a few times. My older brother, James, was not the sort who tended toward phone calls. First, he lived just outside Paris, and transatlantic calls were just very pricey. More importantly, he was a professional wizard, and so had a deep-seated loathing for technology in general. Finally, he was just kind of anti-social and his loathing for technology went triple for technology that allowed other human beings to speak to him. I could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times that he had called me on the phone, ever. Typically, if we needed to communicate, he sent a letter and I ignored it because if he wanted to talk, he could damn well talk like a civilized human being.

And he was using my real name, Eric; he was not usually stupid enough to do that in a situation when someone might have even been conceivably listening in. Certain law enforcement agencies had me on certain watchlists, was all, and James knew better than to risk me getting sent to prison over a phone call unless he had no other choice. Something had him rattled, badly, and James was hard to rattle.

Jim, what's wr— I began again.

"No time to talk! I barely escaped, and you're the next target! Believe me, if I had any other choice, I would not be contacting you this way, but even the fastest magical communication I know couldn't be set up in time."

Well, that's because your profession is basically obsolete. I mean, wizardry. Come on, I said mildly.

"Eric! I love a good sibling-rivalry fueled put-down of each other's careers as much as the next guy, you useless psychotic amoral mercenary. But this is serious! For the love of God, you have to get out of there or you're doomed! She is on her way as we speak!"

Oh, shit. Suddenly, it all made sense.

I slammed the phone down, not bothering to say good-bye; I didn't have a lot of time. "Lydia! I screamed. Panic room!"

As I sprinted, a young woman in a formal gown appeared hovering in the air beside me. Eric, what is wrong? I have never seen you like this. Not even the time with the demon.

This is worse than a demon! This is worse than Satan himself! We need to get somewhere she can't possibly find us! I snarled, taking the steps down to the basement two at a time.

You see, like my brother, I had chosen a non-standard career path. He was a wizard; I was a professional monster-hunter. Lydia was my partner/roommate, and one of the better ones a guy could ask for despite her minor case of death. I'd gotten her house for a song because it was haunted; she wasn't the one haunting it, but she'd been dead in it when I'd arrived. We'd moved the bad ghost out together, and she'd stayed on as the place's (and by extension, my) guardian spirit.

This was new to me. I had not lived in one location since I was very young, and I honestly didn't care for it. I vastly prefer wandering, as a lifestyle, but Lydia couldn't permanently leave this house. She was a... well, a friend. I liked her. I didn't want to leave her alone.

So, in the interests of security, I had made some modifications to the house.

I ran through the basement, not bothering to turn on the lights. I didn't need them, since I had been very careful to memorize the floor plan. Ahead of me, the panic room's door was open. It was a small chamber that I had added to the far side of the basement, and the door in was a heavy iron thing, though it wasn't solid: the inside was filled with salt, silver dust, and several sealed vials of holy water. The same treatment was