New New Testament Acts of the Apostles

By Steve Howard

This will be an entertaining book for the non-believers. It is a grand farce. Saul goes on a rampage and becomes Paul the Super Jew. Instead of crucifixion being the subject, circumcision is the subject. Are holy Jews permitted to commune with dirty Gentiles.

Peter has a vision of a sheet filled with unclean animals coming down from the sky so he stops killing people and gets on a new campaign. Paul undergoes his first stoning. He gets arrested a few times and the Romans put together many armed soldiers to take him to a Roman ruler. He is ship wrecked on the way and everyone lands on Malta.

The Acts of the Apostles start out pretty brutal and end up absurd. The only way for believers to keep believing is if they do not read the bible. And this is crazy. In an age when books are easily printed and almost anyone can learn to read, there should be an end to the tyranny of religion.

For the way of the man referred to as the Lord is not the way of our religions.

So embrace knowledge and give up your mental slavery. We are in a new age and our stone age ways must come to an end.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Steve Howard
• Release date: May 2, 2011
• ISBN: 9781458186775

Steve Howard

Born in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada 1960. Moved to London, Ontario, Canada in 1967. Started playing hockey and piano. Went to Sir Wilfred Laurier High School and played the trumpet.Studied Architectural Technology at Fanshawe College of Applied Arts and Sciences. Started playing guitar and writing a little. On a trip to the mountains in 1982 with a friend I decided, or was awakened to the knowledge that I was going to pursue writing. Graduated 1984 and moved to Toronto.Moved to Saarbrücken, Germany in 1993.Have traveled many places in North, Middle and South America and Europe.Besides reading and writing also work on photography and music.

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New New Testament

Acts of the Apostles

King Namor Version

Steve Howard

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PUBLISHED BY:

Steve Howard on Smashwords

New New Testament

Acts of the Apostles

Copyright © 2010 by Steve Howard 773U5

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission by the copyright owner and the publisher of this book, except in the case of quotations embodied in critical articles, essays and reviews.

This is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or business establishments, events or locales are the author’s imagination and are used fictitiously. The use or misuse of theses trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

This work is based on and holds true to one of the most talked about characters of all time. Jesus Christ. The story remains the same as the original. It is brought to a more modern language to make the ideas clearer. There is always room for interpretation in all writing. The Bible is not an exception. It is a fairy tale that borrows from older fairy tales. All rights are reserved.

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Table of Content

acts chapter 01

acts chapter 02

acts chapter 03

acts chapter 04

acts chapter 05

acts chapter 06

acts chapter 07

acts chapter 08

acts chapter 09

acts chapter 10

acts chapter 11

acts chapter 12

acts chapter 13

acts chapter 14

acts chapter 15

acts chapter 16

acts chapter 17

acts chapter 18

acts chapter 19

acts chapter 20

acts chapter 21

acts chapter 22

acts chapter 23

acts chapter 24

acts chapter 25

acts chapter 26

acts chapter 27

acts chapter 28

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ACTS of the Apostles

acts chapter 01

Trust your instinct. Not the written word.

Our instinct is very similar to the workings of a quantum computer. When we learn to commune with our instinct and let it have control of our active mind it shows us vast possibilities and gives us the talent to sort out likely probabilities. This is a process that should never sleep. It is what Jesus was hinting at when he said not to worry about what you will say before those who question you. Be equipped with as much knowledge and understanding as possible and switch to the on position and sort out your responses as the questions come. This is how animals decide how to react to an action.

Vs. 3: For forty days after his death he appeared to them many times in ways that proved beyond doubt that he was alive. They saw him, and he talked with them about the Kingdom of God. EQ.

Now if you have been paying attention as you read you will figure out that if he was alive and people saw and talked to him that he was not dead. That the cross event was staged. Never mind if it happened or not. We will stick to the story. The only way he was alive after hanging on the cross is, this is probability calculation, very simple, he did not die on the cross. It is the nature of life. And that is a physical law that in real reality cannot be broken. If someone is dead for a few minutes they can be brought back to life with today’s technology. Not 2,000 years ago. This much you must understand to understand anything.

The only way dead people come back to life is through the birth cannel of a woman. Unless the child is cut out of the belly like Macbeth. But still. From an egg and a sperm.

We get it already.

Billions don’t.

Vs. 9: After saying this, he was taken up to heaven as they watched him, and a cloud hid him from their sight. EQ.

No he didn’t. Only one of the four gospels includes this science fiction story. There were no flying machines back then. Maybe a hot air balloon but if we are realistic, we have to chalk this bit up to fiction. It is simply not true to physical reality. And what it is, is manipulation by any of the many writers over the years to make Jesus a super freak. Something impossible. And that is a crime. For he is simply a character that opposes the rule of warlords, priests and lawyers. They made him into an impossible icon and laid the fear into us so that we would accept that only Jesus might do such a thing. When in truth, we must all take a part in fighting against the tyrants.

Vs. 17: Judas was a member of our group, for he had been chosen to have a part in our work. EQ.

Chosen by Jesus. This is plain and simple. As we have already explained. And what comes next is then the doings of a tyrant. It is a lie to throw in confusion. It was very clear that Judas was the brother of Jesus and loved by Jesus. The priests do not want the readers to know this.

So instead of telling us that he went to live in the Toscana with his brother after the show was over, they propagate more fear. And it also contradicts his throwing the money back at the priests.

Vs. 18: (With the money that Judas got for his evil act he bought a field, where he fell to his death; he burst open and all his bowels spilt out.) EQ.

It was not an evil act, he was asked to do it. For it had to be done by someone Jesus could trust to do it. If this is to be understood as real, what it means is, he was brutally murdered. Someone hacked him open with a sword. So that he would not tell his story.

What is more likely is it is simply a lie. Written to make