Leslie's Bus

By Clair Louise Coult

"You do a lot of daft stuff when you're sixteen, when you're full of hormones and angst and you're convinced the world is against you. You can let your guard drop and do things that you'd never dream of doing."

With her mother in a mental hospital and her father preoccupied with his pregnant girlfriend, Susan Blake is lost and lonely. She finds an unlikely friend in Paul, a New Age traveller, and he introduces her to the colourful and exciting British alternative scene of the 1990's. Susan discovers a world full of drugs and alcohol, raves, parties and festivals, but not everyone is as nice or as honest as Paul.

When Susan's world falls apart she finds comfort in the arms of Leslie, a charismatic and seasoned traveller. He shares his alternative philosophy as they travel on his bus, but will she heed the warnings that there is more to him than meets the eye?

Leslie's Bus is a touching and at times harrowing story of a young woman's self discovery.

Contains strong language, drug use, sexually explicit scenes, sexual abuse and violence.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Clair Louise Coult
• Release date: Dec 10, 2013
• ISBN: 9781311031945

Clair Louise Coult

Clair Louise Coult lives near Sheffield, UK with her husband and 3 children. She enjoys crafts, alternative music, video games and dyeing her hair silly colours.

Book preview

Leslie's Bus

By Clair Louise Coult

Leslie's Bus

Copyright: Clair Louise Coult 2013

Published: December 2013

Smashwords Edition

The right of Clair Louise Coult to be identified as author of this Work has been asserted by her in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, copied in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise transmitted without written permission from the publisher. You must not circulate this book in any format.

This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

This book is dedicated to all my weird and wonderful friends who taught me what life is really about.

Cheers!

Cover font: Wartorn By Andreas Johansson

A note from the author

There are many slang words in the dialogue and narrative of this novel that some readers may not be familiar with. Please feel free to utilise the British dictionary on your e-reader, or alternatively you can refer to the glossary at the end of this novel.

I hope you enjoy the story.

Clair Louise Coult

Chapter 1

December 1994

I woke up in a room so bright, white and clean that I thought it was heaven. I blinked my eyes and tried to focus but an overwhelming heaviness kept dragging them closed again. I had no strength of my own. It was all I could do to just keep blinking my eyes. My brain switched on as a noise startled my senses. Beep, beep, beep, monotonously keeping time to a silent drum beat. I wondered, do things go beep in heaven? I breathed in and my nostrils were assaulted with the stench of disinfectant. This wasn't heaven, this wasn't even close.

It didn't take me long to figure out I was in a hospital. The fluorescent lights, squeaky trolleys and that unmistakable smell was a dead giveaway. I forced my eyes open but every time I tried to focus on anything they seemed to close of their own accord, like my brain didn't want me to see anything.

I heard a sound, at first it was small and quiet but it got bigger and angrier and louder. My heart knew instantly what it was but my head was in denial. No, it couldn't be, it wasn't possible. There was no fucking way it could be, not after everything that happened. I closed my eyes and slipped back into the darkness.

Are you with us, love? a soft voice asked. I blinked my eyes. A dark haired woman was standing over me. She was dressed in white and smiling. She picked up my arm and I flinched as I felt a sting of pain. There was something stuck in the back of my hand. I reached over and tried to get it off but the woman stopped me.

You have to leave that there, my love. It's your antibiotics. You want to get better now, don't you?

Why? I whispered. I hardly recognised the raspy sound of my own voice. My throat was parched and my tongue as dry as the worst hangover ever. I listened for an answer but I slipped into darkness once again.

Are you with us, love? a soft voice asked. De ja vue. Didn't she just say that? Don't worry, everything went well and you'll be able to see her soon.

Wha...? I mumbled. My head was swimming. Whatever they'd given me was some serious shit. I wondered if they'd tell me what it was. Jono could get his hands on anything and this stuff made ket seem lightweight.

I felt a rush, like a tidal wave rising up from my stomach to meet my tonsils. I summoned up all my strength to turn my head so I didn't choke, but just as it started to burn my throat it subsided. When I moved a sharp pain seared through my abdomen leaving me too scared to move again. Maybe I wouldn't ask what this stuff was. It wasn't so fun after all.

After a minute, an hour or a day, I have no idea which, I started to come back to life. My eyes stayed open when I told them to and my ears started picking up conversations. I was in a hospital but I had no idea where or how I'd got there. My view was blocked by a curtain with a green paisley pattern on it. It was so messed up my kid brother could have drawn it better when he was three.

My eyes traced the pattern and I wondered why do hospitals always have such shit decor? My train of thought was derailed by the sight of a girl walking past in pink slippers and a Hello Kitty dressing gown. She doubled up in pain as she shuffled past the end of my bed. I wondered what they'd done to the poor cow.

There were lots of sounds, squeaky footsteps on the lino floor, the beep, beep, beeping of buzzers and then there were the other sounds. I didn't want to hear the other sounds. They scared me, proper scared me to death because I knew I'd have to do something hard and I knew I wouldn't be able to do it.

It was the kind of sound that gets right inside your skull and you keep on hearing it even after it's gone, like a house alarm that wakes you up in the middle of the night and never shuts up. It was in my head and as the drugs wore off and I started to come down. I knew I had to get away. I didn't want to be here, I wanted to be back where I belonged. I wanted it to be like the old days, hugging a two litre bottle of Aldi cider and puffing on a roll up while Leslie played New Model Army songs on his guitar.

I moved my legs but it hurt, I rolled onto my side and it hurt even more. I clenched my teeth and tried to sit up but my body wasn't working right. My muscles had gone all soft, like they weren't attached to anything and it hurt! Why did it hurt so fucking much?

The sound was getting unbearable. I rolled onto my side again and pushed myself up on my arms but they shook and buckled as my strength vanished and I crashed down onto the mattress in the worst pain ever.

Fuck! I screamed as I collapsed. It was all too much. I felt the tears dripping on my arm as my whole body shook in fear, exhaustion and pain.

Mind your language! a voice boomed. The green paisley curtain was swept aside by a fat woman dressed in dark blue. I scowled at her for telling me off. I was about to give her a piece of my mind but as I opened my mouth to speak my spirit seemed to vanish and I felt like a lost little girl. I hadn't felt that way in a long time. Not since, well not since I left home.

I looked up at the woman and I felt like she could see right inside my head. Her expression softened and she gave me a caring smile.

Susan, isn't it? she said picking up a blue clipboard from the end of the bed. I know you're in a lot of pain but if you need help you just have to press your buzzer, she said in a softer voice. I must have still been drugged up because I let her tuck me back up in bed and I didn't try to stop her. She slipped a grey plastic button into my right hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. I felt a calmness, like that first hit of a spliff when you haven't had a smoke in ages. I was warm and safe for the first time in a very long time, but the feeling didn't last for very long.

That sound invaded my brain again. It was getting harder to block it out. It pulled at me, like it was trying to drag my heart out through my ribs. I hated it, I resented it and I was starting to lose my patience. Then something happened.

Now then, little one, have you had a cuddle with your mum yet? the woman in blue asked. What the fuck was she talking about? For a minute I thought she'd gone crazy. I watched as she walked around to the left hand side of my bed and reached into a clear plastic box. She picked up a loud, wriggly bundle of blankets, holding it close to her body as she made soothing noises. Ignoring the pain I tried to shuffle back up the bed. I knew what was coming next and there was nothing I could do about it.

There you go, little lady, say hello to your mummy, she said. I looked at her blankly like she was some crazy lady or something.

No, you've got it wrong, missus. I've not got a kid, I said, but I wasn't entirely convinced. My curiosity drew my eyes to the little face peeping out of the blanket. I saw Leslie's grey eyes staring back at me.

You have now, Susan. Your friend brought you in last night. You were bleeding heavily and they had to do an emergency c-section. You were both very lucky to make it.

I shook my head as the tears began to fall. I didn't want to believe it but just looking at those eyes I knew every word she said was true. It was like Leslie had come back. He always said I was his forever and he was right.

My body betrayed me as my arms reached out of their own accord and the woman in blue placed the bundle of blankets on my chest. I held my baby girl and I cried and cried.

In that moment everything changed.

It wasn't the beginning of my story but it was the start of everything being good. Before that, well let's just say my life was the pretty much the opposite of good.

Chapter 2

November 1993

I'm not going back to that fucking place! I screamed.

Give it a chance, Brenda slurred. It was only half past five in the afternoon and my evil step mother was already pouring her second glass of gin. You've only been there four weeks, you've hardly had chance to settle in.

My tutor's a fucking prick! The bastard tried to take the piss out of my hair in front of everyone! I said waving a fuzzy orange dreadlock under her nose.

Well you will insist on doing silly things with it.

Fucking bitch... I muttered under my breath, just loud enough for Brenda to hear. She shook her platinum curls and rolled her big blue eyes at me.

Susan, you've got to learn if you're going to dress like some down and out then you're going to draw attention to yourself in a negative way.

I'll dress however I please. Just because I don't want to be a fucking clone like you, you thinks it's wrong, do you?

No, you know that's not what I mean. But when you graduate, how are you going to get a job looking like that? Brenda said, waving her hand in my general direction.

I looked down at my attire and shrugged. I knew she had a point but I wasn't going to admit it. I guess I was a bit more extreme than most of the other kids who lived around here. Grunge was in, Nirvana were so fucking mainstream they had even been on Top of the Pops.

I liked the way I looked. My black army surplus boots were scuffed and half tied with multi coloured laces. I wore ripped fishnets over laddered yellow and black stripy tights, with denim shorts, frayed at the leg where I'd hacked them from a pair of old blue jeans. On my top I wore a white SubPop t-shirt, stained pink with the dregs of last night's snakebite and black, and a brown cardigan with holes in the cuffs that I stuck my thumbs through.

My shoulder length hair was dreadlocked and dyed a bright shade of tangerine. The dreads were uneven and ragged but I liked them. I'd woven ribbon around a couple of them and put rainbow beads on others. I had ten silver sleepers in my left ear, eight in my right and a star shaped stud in my nose. There was a flower drawn in blue biro on my right hand. I'd scribbled it during that prick of a tutor's sociology lecture. I kept going over the lines pressing harder and harder in the hope that it would break the skin and stay there forever.

That tutor bored me out of my mind as his monotone voice droned on and on and on. He hadn't got a clue. I mean he really hadn't got a fucking clue! I'd learned more about life from Leslie than that prick would ever know. Leslie had shown me the wonders of the universe as we lay under the stars with our heads full of mushrooms. The experience was epic in every sense of the word. Hearing colours and tasting sounds. For a moment I knew what everything meant and it was mind blowing.

We'd spent hours drinking and talking with people who had travelled the world and seen sights I could only dream about. This was real life and not just stuff in books that my tutor regurgitated to us first year students. Most of the others were still wet behind the ears, but not me. I thought I knew it all, well, maybe not all but I knew a damn sight more than they did.

If I had to choose between Leslie and going to that prick's lectures, I would choose Leslie every time. I didn't want to read about life, I wanted to live it. I'd made my decision and no-one was going to talk me out of it.

I'm not going back and you can't make me! I said, crossing my arms and glaring at Brenda. She put her empty glass down on the sideboard and poured another drink, heavy on the gin and easy on the tonic.

Well you'll have to get a job then, and somewhere to live. I've already picked out the decor for the guest room.

You're not touching my room! I screamed.

Your dad already told you, we need the space for guests to stay over.

You never wanted me here in the first place! I yelled.

Damn, I'm missing Neighbours, Brenda said as noticed the time. She reached for the remote control and completely ignored me.

Yeah, that's right, 'cause Aussie soaps are more important than me! I grumbled.

Oh don't be difficult, Susan!

Fuck you, Brenda! Fuck you! I said and I slammed the door behind me.

I don't know why I even bothered telling her. It wasn't like she was my real mum or anything. She didn't give a shit about me and the feeling was mutual. I still blamed her for everything, for stealing my dad and breaking my mum so bad she lost the will to live.

I stomped off to the kitchen. Toby was sat at the table nibbling at a ham sandwich. There was a pile of lettuce shoved under his plate where he'd tried to hide it.

Suzie! he beamed. He was three years old and always happy to see me. I don't know why.

All right, kid, I said, ruffling his hair. Apart from being the bastard child of Brenda and my father, Toby was all right. He looked up to me like I was magic. I told him all these stories and he believed every word even though none of it was really true. I kind of felt bad for that sometimes but I never did it to hurt him, it was just funny to see his eyes like saucers as he hung on every word.

Have you come back? he asked, hopefully.

I don't know, Tobe, maybe. Uni sucks.

Wanna bit? he said offering me his half eaten ham sandwich.

Dead pig? No way! I said screwing up my nose. I'd been vegetarian since I was fifteen and the thought of eating meat made me feel sick, but it didn't bother Toby as he took another bite. He sat there chewing with his mouth open. Where's Alexa? I asked. Toby pointed to the back door. It was open a crack and I could smell the faintest whiff of tobacco smoke. The au pair had gone out for a fag so I jumped up to see if I could cadge one.

Susan! You make me jump Alexa said as my hand fell on her shoulder. Her accent was heavy, I didn't know what country she came from, somewhere in eastern Europe I think but I couldn't be sure.

Does Brenda know you're out here smoking? I said half teasing her.

Oh no, Mrs Blake not like me smoking, she said looking nervous.

I won't tell if you give me one, I whispered in her ear. Alexa smiled and nodded as she understood what I was getting at. She opened the packet of Benson and Hedges and offered me one. I lit it with a green clipper lighter and blew smoke high up in the air. I'd not had a fag all day and it made my head feel a bit dizzy, but in a good way.

Do you know when dad will be home? I asked her. Alexa shook her head.

It's Thursday today, yes? I think he have golfing with his work people, she replied with a smile. I tried not to giggle. My dad was seriously bad at golf. He made out like he wasn't, he spent a shit load of money on clubs and daft clothes but he couldn't hit a ball straight if he tried. Golf was just a cover. The last time he took it up he got caught screwing his secretary. When I say caught I mean he got her pregnant, and when I say secretary I mean Brenda.

I used to look up to my dad when I was little. He was the bestest dad in the world, he couldn't do a thing wrong if he tried. It's amazing how totally wrong you can be about a person. Now I knew what a sorry sack of shit he was and the only reason I tolerated him was because I needed money and a place to live.

Alexa ducked back inside to go look after Toby. I wasn't sure what to do with myself. I didn't want to go back in the living room and watch telly with Brenda so I grabbed my German army coat from the stand in the hall and headed off to the pub.

The wind had picked up and it was getting cold outside so I pulled my hood up over my crop of orange dreads shoved my hands deep down into my pockets. I cut through the alley that went behind the shops and up onto the high street. Brenda always told me not to go that way because there were 'strange' people around there. I always laughed at her. The worst I'd ever seen was a kid chucking up after trying to sniff glue for the first time. Daft beggar. Didn't he know there were better ways to get off your face than mucking about with solvents?

The Dog and Duck was a dive, a proper grotty dive. The place reeked of stale beer and cigarettes. The colour of the carpet was long forgotten under decades of fag ash and spilled pints. It must have looked quite nice once, with its huge mahogany bar and velour upholstered seats. Now the seat cushions were patched up, none of the stools matched and the varnish was peeling off all the tables.

This place felt like home. I didn't have to mind my language, I could put my feet up without getting told off and I felt like I could really be me. I breathed in the smell of the place and rummaged through my pockets in desperate search of some money. I had less than a quid in small change. Bollocks, not enough for a pint. I dragged my feet up to the bar. Joe was serving and he gave me a big smile.

Snakebite, Suzie? he asked.

Nah, bit skint today. You can't sub me, can you? I said giving him my sweetest smile.

Suzie, you know I can't do that! Joe said, getting a bit cross at me.

All right. Can I have blackcurrant squash then, please? I said as I counted out the small change onto the bar.

Get the lass a pint, Joe, said a deep voice behind me. My eyes lit up like Christmas as I realised who it was. I spun around and looked up into Leslie's grey eyes. I'd not seen him in two months, rumour was he'd been to Europe but it looked like he was back home now.

I couldn't have been happier to see him. He looked as gorgeous as ever. His long brown hair was tied back in a ponytail, his face was tanned beneath the greying stubble on his chin. His shirt was open showing his dark hairy chest and he was wearing his impossibly tight skinny jeans that hugged the contours of his arse. So what if he was about forty? He still looked well fit for his age.

Hello stranger! I said. I tried to play it cool but I couldn't stop grinning. He always had this effect on me, my legs went to jelly and my heart started to bang like I was running for my life.

I pocketed my change from the bar and Joe handed me my pint. I took a long drink and wiped my mouth on the back of my hand. The bitter sweet liquid tasted so good.

It's been a while, Suzie Sue. What you been up to? Leslie asked. His voice was smooth as silk.

Oh, this and that, I said. He smiled and I noticed he had that glint in his eye. He put his pint of bitter down on the bar.

Come here! he said and he threw his arms tight around me. I swooned at the smell of him, his musky sweat mixed with heady scent of patchouli oil. When he slid his fingers down my body and cupped my arse in his strong hands I knew I wouldn't be going back home that night.

I sat drinking with Leslie until closing time. He told me a hundred stories and I sat there all wide eyed, hanging on every word he said. We talked until nearly midnight and Joe had to practically kick us out the door. I was rat arsed on six pints of snakebite, I could barely stand and I had no intention of going back to Brenda's.

I'm crashing at Raven's tonight, Leslie said as he pulled me tight against him. He lifted my chin so I was looking right into his eyes. You're coming with me, right?

Yeah, why not? I said, biting my lip and trying to look all alluring.

Good girl, Leslie said. He planted his lips on my forehead and we headed up the hill towards Raven's house.

Raven was infamous. She was old, like well into her sixties or something. She dyed her hair jet black, wore way too much makeup and she was absolutely huge. She had this big rambling house on the outskirts of town. It had loads of bedrooms and her doors were always open to visitors. It was kind of like a hotel but you never had to pay as long as you brought beer, or dope, or food.

Raven was sat on the porch smoking a cigarette when we arrived. My nose perked up as I caught a whiff of the smoke. It was sweet, heady and more than just tobacco, if you know what I mean.

Ah, Leslie my dear, I've been wanting a word with you, she said in a forced posh accent. Leslie waved me on into the house while he talked to Raven. I don't know what she wanted him for but my nose was drawn into the living room where I smelled more of the same sweet smoke. Someone had spliffed up and it was good stuff.

Susan? said a familiar voice as I stuck my head around the living room door. My eyes blinked at the smoke in the room and came to focus on Paul. What are you doing here? I thought you'd gone to uni?

I gave Paul a nervous smile. Yeah, well, I came back...

For the weekend?

I dunno yet... my smile fell from my face. I didn't want to think about that. I was pissed and tired, and I just wanted to cuddle up with Leslie. He made me feel safe and I didn't want to be alone.

Paul patted the cushion on the floor next to him. I reluctantly sat down and he passed me the spliff. I took a long drag, holding the smoke for as long as I could before exhaling. I felt myself sink into the floor. It felt good. I took another drag and handed it back to Paul. He smiled at me. He made me feel a bit nervous. He was really cute with his floppy brown hair and big brown eyes. We kind of had a history but I was here with Leslie tonight and I didn't want to give Paul the wrong idea.

You're looking good, Paul said. I like what you've done with your hair.