The Illusion Of Order

By Jean Marie Stanberry

Jenna Bruce was a rising star. An accomplished figure skater, a diligent student and recently engaged to the love of her life. Life was perfect, full of promise, till she woke up in the hospital and realized life as she knew it, was now over.

Fearing that she will fall into an irreversible depression, her family sends her to Scotland to stay with distant relatives in the hope that a change of scenery will help her to get her life back on track.

Life in rural Scotland is comforting, except for the fact that her great aunt Maggie is hell bent on finding her a “suitable gentleman” to date. A trip to London and a day at the famed Ascot horse races promises to be quite an adventure, but when Jenna crosses paths with an old friend and his rival Arthur Sandringham, things quickly veer off track.

Jenna soon finds herself back in the public eye, but in a less flattering light and she soon finds herself forced to make some very hard choices. Will she go along with what everyone seems to expect of her? Or will she follow her heart and ignite the biggest scandal Great Britain has seen in some time?

• Language: English
• Publisher: KIngsmuir Press
• Release date: Sep 30, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301601998

Jean Marie Stanberry

Jean Stanberry has been addicted to literature her entire life. As a child she had stacks of books, which she would read over and over again. She also loved to write, a pastime her father, a published author himself, encouraged. Later in college, Jean had the opportunity to travel to Great Britain to study under some very brilliant literature professors, who cemented her desire to write.Jean has been retired from professional figure skating for many years, but she has recently enjoyed coaching and choreography and has worked with both competitive and professional figure skaters. She also enjoys writing articles for several sports magazines, but "Laying Low In Hollywood" is her first novel, and she is hoping to share many more.Jean lives in the Rocky Mountains of Northwest Montana with her husband of twenty three years, Gary and their two children, Ryan and Lauren. Jean also has a Golden Retriever named Molly. She works full time as a surgical nurse and she loves figure skating, cross country skiing, hiking and kayaking.

Book preview

The Illusion

of

Order

Jean Marie Stanberry

Published by Kingsmuir Press

Smashwords Edition

Copyright © 2013 Jean Marie Stanberry

All rights reserved

http://www.jeanstanberry.com

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

DEDICATION

Dedicated to the memory of my two dear grandmothers, Lydia and Fay.  Their guidance and unconditional love played a large part in making me the person I am today.

Also dedicated to the two very important people in my life that were taken away much too soon.  Marta Grimaldi, wife of my dear coach Heinz, who was my role model, my confidant and the guiding light in my life till her untimely death from pancreatic cancer.  She was one of the strongest and smartest woman I have ever met.

And finally to the person who inspired this story, Marcus Alastair Thompson, who’s life was cut short by a drunk driver.  Marc was my dear friend, my partner in crime for many years and my first real love.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

To my wonderful husband Gary, for putting up with me and all my projects for the past 23 years.  To my awesome kids, Ryan and Lauren who have made every day of my life worth living.  And to my agent Vaughn Thompson, who was apparently sent to me from the heavens, because her ties to me, are way too close to be a coincidence.  Vaughn has guided me through the world of book PR and has become a true friend

CHAPTER 1

Hopeless...if there was one word that could accurately describe my life, I guess hopeless, would be that word.  I was sitting there, on the weathered concrete bench in my grandmother’s garden, partially shaded by the graceful Japanese red maple that my grandmother had nurtured from a tiny, two foot sapling.  Her prized peonies were bursting into bloom on this beautiful spring morning.  The flowers were the size of dinner plates and they were blooming in a riot of reds and pinks as they cascaded over the edge of the terrace. A collection of finches, robins and sparrows were singing merrily as they flitted from branch to branch of the budding oaks and maples that surrounded my Grandmother’s well loved garden.

Unfortunately, I didn’t really notice any of it.  Not the flowers, not the birds, not the bright cloudless sky.  It had been four months since the accident, physically I was getting better every day, but mentally...that was a different story.

****

Fiona frowned as she gazed out her kitchen window.  She had been washing up the breakfast dishes when she caught a glance of her granddaughter Jenna, sitting there in the garden, expressionless and unmoving.

Fiona sighed miserably, she didn’t know what to do, she was so worried.  What could she do to help her granddaughter, who was completely overcome with grief?

When the breakfast dishes had been cleared, she had shooed Jenna out of the house, hoping the cloudless spring day would cheer her a little, but obviously, Jenna didn’t even notice.

Jenna’s recovery had been slow and painful.  Over the past few months, Jenna had been growing stronger physically.  Every milestone had been a challenge she had worked tirelessly to accomplish.  Since the accident, just being able to walk to the garden unassisted, was a major accomplishment.  Unfortunately, Jenna’s mind was not recovering as quickly as her body was.

Fiona had hoped that perhaps the beautiful day and the fresh air would do Jenna some good. Usually, she spent her days mindlessly occupied with chores, choosing not to think about how miserable her own life had become.  Fiona had pried Jenna away from the breakfast dishes and sent her out to the garden right after breakfast, but it seemed that she could be a zombie there in the garden, just as well as she could in the house.

Fiona sighed and hung up her dish towel.  She walked out to the garden, her heart aching for her granddaughter who was so lost and broken.  Fiona could barely even stand her own horrible memories of  the accident, deep in her heart, she knew her granddaughter would never be the same.

Fiona approached Jenna cautiously and sat down on the little concrete bench next to her. Jenna just sat there unmoving, her eyes were vacant, she seemed to be far away, lost in her own little world...

Fiona sighed in despair, she doubted Jenna could even sense her presence as she sat there, right next to her.  Fiona’s heart was aching painfully, it was torture watching someone you loved so much, slip away from you.

It’s a lovely day, is it not? asked Fiona, forcing her voice to sound cheerful, as she watched her granddaughter carefully.

Yes.

Fiona shivered when she heard Jenna’s voice, it was flat and emotionless.  It hurt her to her very soul, that her own granddaughter was in so much emotional pain.

Jenna...are you alright? asked Fiona, in her soft, Scottish brogue.

Yes, Jenna told her, in her flat, emotionless, voice.  It was what she always said.

It was not the truth, of course, no one really wanted the truth, it was much too depressing. Still, she couldn’t fool her grandmother, she knew better.  She knew Jenna hid her feelings from everyone, that she had pretty much given up on life, but she didn’t want anyone to worry about her.

It was too late, Fiona was worried.  Everyday, her beloved granddaughter seemed to be slipping further and further away from her.  Fiona couldn’t bare to witness it anymore.  Jenna was retreating deep inside herself, a victim of the overwhelming sadness she could not shake.

Have you spoke with Adam lately? asked Fiona, desperately trying to lighten the mood. Adam was Jenna’s best friend, surely, he could cheer her up.

No, not in weeks. I don’t know what’s happened Grandma. I imagine he’s given up, he just doesn’t like what I’ve become.  He hasn’t called in more than two weeks.  When I try to call there, he’s never home, Jenna told her, with a sigh of despair.

Fiona frowned, she wasn’t sure what had happened.  Until recently, Adam had been at Jenna’s side every day since the accident.  The two had been best friends and skating partners since Jenna had been just twelve years old, and Adam was sixteen.  Fiona couldn’t imagine why he had suddenly made himself scarce the past two weeks.  Jenna needed him now more than ever, what little progress she had made emotionally, seemed to be slipping away, without him there by her side.

I was thinking...perhaps you just need to get away for a while, said Fiona, forcing her voice to be soothing, even though she just wanted to break down crying.

Away? snapped Jenna, her face looked dazed.   Fiona frowned, it was the most emotion Jenna had showed in weeks.

Yes, you know, someplace where you will not have all these awful memories haunting you constantly, said Fiona, sighing miserably.  She wanted her granddaughter to have some sort of hope for the future, she couldn’t bare to see her like this.

Memories...I barely have any memories left... Jenna told her, in the same flat, monotone, voice.

Fiona swallowed convulsively.  She reached out and gently took Jenna’s hand.  She knew there was nothing she could do or say that would make things better.  Jenna’s entire life, had been tragically ripped away from her, it was heartbreaking.

It had been months now, Jenna’s fiancee Matthew had come to visit her from Boston.  In just two weeks, Jenna and Adam would be competing in the 1984 Winter Olympics in Sarajevo. Since the top ranked team from the Soviet Union had been plagued with injuries in the weeks leading up to the competition, Jenna and Adam had become the favorites to take the gold. Matthew had taken a short break from his studies at Boston University to spend a few days with Jenna before she had to leave for Sarajevo.  He’d wanted desperately to go along with them, but the timing was all wrong, he couldn’t possibly miss classes during mid terms.

That evening, Matthew and Jenna had driven into the city with Jenna’s best friend Tina, and her boyfriend Patrick to catch Jenna’s mother’s newest theater production, at the Chicago Broadway Review.  As they were coming home in the late hours of the evening, a drunk driver ran a red light, smashing into Patrick’s car at a high rate of speed.

Jenna had been critically injured, with her life hanging in a fragile balance for weeks.  Jenna’s best friend Tina had died instantly in the accident, Patrick would eventually recover from his injuries, but Matthew died the day following the accident from his extensive injuries.

Unfortunately, it was weeks before Jenna realized what had happened. In addition to all her other injuries, Jenna had suffered a head injury, which had caused her to hover on the edge of consciousness for weeks following the accident.   It had also caused her to loose most of her memory of her life before the accident.

When Jenna was finally awakened from her drug induced coma, she had no idea who she was, or what had happened, so when she was finally told what had happened to her, it was incredibly hard for her to process what had happened emotionally.  Picking up the pieces of her life and going on, was not going to be easy.

****

I just think that if you could go somewhere else...and start over.  Maybe it would be easier than staying here, where it happened...Fiona cringed, there was no easy way to say it.

I lifted my sad eyes to meet my grandmother’s.  I didn’t know where I would go or what I would do.  Since I had left the hospital, the neurologist had estimated I had only recovered about ten percent of my memory.  How could I possibly get a job or go to college when I was just a fraction of the person I had been previously?

My sister Margaret still lives in Kirriemuir, in Scotland.  You could go there and stay with her and Ivan for a while.  She would be delighted to have you stay there at the manor.  It would get you away from here, and all of these memories for a while, said my grandmother, giving me a wry smile, she looked so hopeful, it almost brought tears to my eyes.

I frowned, I didn’t want to go anywhere.  What could that possibly accomplish?  My entire life, as I had known it, was over.  Everything I had before the accident was gone.  My fiancee, my career, my memories of my life.  It seemed like an insurmountable task to overcome it all!

I had lost the will to go on, I had become nothing but a shell of a person. I was merely taking up space and consuming oxygen.   I didn’t know if I could ever shake this overwhelming sorrow that had engulfed my heart, but knew I had to, at the very least, try.

My grandparents had been caring for me since I’d been released from the hospital, they stepped in when my own parents had claimed to be much too busy to care for me.

I knew what a burden I had become to my grandparents.  They had spent the last several months running me between doctors appointments and physical therapy.  My grandmother had spent hours going through photo albums and newspaper clippings with me, in the hope that it would help my memory to return.  I sighed miserably, I knew I could never repay them for all they had done for me, they deserved a little break.

What will I do? I whimpered, brokenly.  I was feeling completely overwhelmed, I was acutely aware that my life had no direction.

What do you want to do with you life?  Do you want to stay here with your Grandparents forever and feel sorry for yourself? Fiona asked me, smiling gently.

I jumped up abruptly and glared at her, I was suddenly completely incensed!  I want my life back!  This isn’t fair!  I’m tired of not knowing who I am...who I was!  I want to skate again! I want Matt back.  I know I can’t stay here forever.  What can I do with my life now?  I’m completely useless! I shouted at her angrily, as I fought back tears.  I was standing there shaking, completely unaware that I still had that kind of emotion left in my body.

After my outburst, I looked over at my Grandma sheepishly.  I had been hiding my emotions from everyone for so long, I was completely unaware that I could just suddenly loose control like that.  I drew in a slow, deep breath, I was afraid that my selfish outburst would cause my Grandmother to start crying, but she seemed to be strangely relieved by my little meltdown.

You are right, it is not fair...what life has done to you.  You have been cheated, it seems like you’ve lost everything right now.  But you have to get back up, dust yourself off and start over again.  It’s hard Jenna, but it’s not impossible.  You must believe in yourself, the good Lord will never give you more than you can handle.  Lots of people have to start over again.

I glared at her and shook my head miserably, how could I possibly start over again?  My faith in everything good was gone.  I felt I was damaged irreparably.

It is true Jenna, you have had a wonderful life.  The kind of life most people can only dream about.  You’ve traveled the world with your skating, fallen in love with the perfect gentleman...it was like a fairy tale.  In fact, I am quite certain that you and Adam would have won the gold medal in the Olympics, then you and Matt would have gotten married.  Then who knows where your life would have went from there.  Obviously that wasn’t meant to happen, said Fiona.

How do you know what was meant to happen? I snapped.  I shook my head miserably.  I could no longer force myself to believe in faith, or God’s will, or anything of the sort.  If there was a God, how could he possibly allow such a tragedy to happen?  Matt and Tina were both wonderful people, barely on their way in life, when their lives were taken away from them.  It just didn’t seem right that an all knowing deity, would allow such a travesty to happen.

If you had only seen the car you had been in, you too would believe that your life had been spared.  No one who saw the car, believed that anyone could actually live through that accident.  But you lived!  It was a miracle!  I am certain that God spared your life for a reason.  You must find out what that reason is, Fiona purred, in her soft Scottish brogue.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head miserably.  It wasn’t a miracle that I had lived through the accident, I was convinced it was a curse.  To me, this was all a cruel punishment I’d been forced to endure.

You have always been a strong person.  Maybe you died in the accident too, but your life was spared, so you could go on being an angel on earth.  You’ve always touched people’s lives Jenna...there is so much more in life you need to accomplish. Don’t give up now... my grandmother wailed, her voice breaking with emotion.

I sighed miserably.  I was convinced that I had been meant to die in that accident.  I certainly didn’t feel like my life had been spared.  I felt as if I’d been singled out.  Singled out to fumble uselessly through life.  I had decided that if there was a God...I was no longer sure about that possibility...there was no way he meant for me to live this awful, meaningless existence.

I bit my lower lip anxiously.  I knew I had to try and make some sort of life for myself.  I couldn’t live with my grandparents forever, living my life like a zombie.  I was nineteen, I had already graduated from high school, but now college seemed completely daunting.  What could I do now?

Since the accident, the outside world seemed so overwhelming.  My entire life before had revolved around figure skating.  When I was in the hospital, the doctors had told me that I would never skate again.  That alone, was enough to overwhelm me...skating was all I had ever known...all I was good at.

I looked down at the stone patio beneath my feet, a lone ant struggled to carry a beetle carcass across a large crack.  I watched the ant for a few moments as it struggled with it’s treasure.  I sighed in resignation, I had to be the ant.  I wasn’t a quitter, I had never been a quitter!  I knew I had to do something.

I had spent many weeks in skeletal traction while I was in the hospital and I was almost walking normally now.  I was limping less.  I had memory enough to read and learn, it was faces and people who seemed to evade by damaged brain the most. I knew I needed to move forward and take charge of my life, I had no job, no hobbies and no school.

I was finally realizing that I would never fully get my memory back.  I would probably never remember people I had known, places I had been, who I had been...it was very overwhelming.

I felt like I was at the end of a lonely road with nothing in sight, except an endless landscape. There was no hope of shelter anywhere on the horizon.  I felt completely intimidated and alone.  I knew that my grandparents loved me, but my soulmate, the man that I had planned to marry and spend the rest of my life with, was gone forever.

What could I possibly do with my life now?  I felt like part of me was missing.  My heart had been nearly destroyed by this tragedy, how could I possibly go on?  How could I possibly ever fall in love again?

I sighed and gave my Grandma a weak smile.  I had decided that I would try to find my way. I would do it for my Grandma. I knew I had to try.  I would take my Grandmother’s advice and go to Scotland.  I would try my best to start over.

CHAPTER 2

My grandmother took care of all the arrangements for me to travel to Scotland.  I was torn, I wasn’t sure if this was the right decision, but I knew I had to, at least, give this a try.  Giving up was never an option.  I would stay with my Grandmother’s sister Margaret and her husband Ivan.  They had a lovely estate just east of Kirriemuir and they had been very willing to take me in and attempt to ease my suffering.

When I arrived in Scotland I was entranced by the gorgeous scenery as my Great-Aunt and her daughter Ilene drove me from the airport.  Margaret, or Maggie, as everyone called her, lived in the rolling hills east of Kirriemuir, with her husband Ivan. I had never met him, but my grandmother had told me that Ivan was basically a crotchety old man with a heart of gold.  His Scottish brogue was so thick, even most Scots couldn’t understand a word he was saying.

We bounced along the winding country lane and I breathed in the sweet country air through the car’s open window.  The green hills were dotted with cattle and sheep, and I had pretty much tuned out Maggie and Ilene’s conversation as they both tittered away in the front seat.  I was having a hard time understanding them, their brogues were so pronounced.  I was used to my Grandmother’s soft Scottish brogue, I decided it must have mellowed over the many years she had lived in the states.

I was finding myself bewildered as the car bounced down the narrow country lane.  What if I didn’t fit in with Maggie and Ivan?  What if they didn’t like me?  What if I didn’t make any friends?  I was suddenly worried that my life in Scotland would be worse than my life in Chicago had been since I had come home from the hospital.  My anxiety about the unknowns that were facing me was all consuming!

It turned out that all my fears were for nothing, I loved Maggie immediately.  Maggie was very much like her sister Fiona, she was older, in her late sixties, and cute as can be.  She was tiny, just over five feet tall and a little bit plump.  She reminded me of the Queen mother a little bit.  Her Scottish brogue was so thick, I had to concentrate hard to understand her, then sometimes I still had no idea what she was talking about.

Maggie’s daughter Ilene was in her mid forties and just a plain Jane kind of woman.  She reminded me a bit, of a librarian.  She was thin as a rail, with straight brown hair that she twisted into a tight bun.  She wore tiny little dark rimmed glasses on her thin, makeup-free face, and her choices in clothing were most unflattering.  She dressed about twenty years older than she truly was.

Don’t get me wrong, Ilene was very sweet, I liked her immediately.  She didn’t live at the manor, she lived just down the lane with her husband Conner.  Conner was a different sort, who rarely left their house or socialized with anyone.  The couple had never been blessed with children, which I had decided was probably a blessing for the prospective children.

When we finally arrived at the manor that afternoon, Ivan was sitting on the sofa, drinking an ale and watching a polo match on the small TV in the corner of the sitting room.  Ivan stood up and smiled at me as we walked into the room.  He walked right over to me and extended his hand to me.

Ello, em’ yeer greet oont Muggie’s hoosbeen Ivan, he said, as he shook my hand warmly.  I just stared at him for a moment or two, as it took me a few moments to absorb what he’d said, in his thick brogue.

Hello, I’m Jennalise, I said, giving him a shy smile and shaking his hand timidly.  I was a bit thrown off, Maggie was so tiny.  Ivan was a huge, burley looking man, despite his age.  His skin was tan and weathered, and his hair was thick and gray, but his coloring suggested that he had been a redhead in his earlier days.

Aye, ye can talk? he cried, staring at me, apparently completely astonished!

Yes, I said, my voice fading away shyly.  I was giving him an odd look.  I was suddenly slightly taken aback, not quite sure what he’d meant by his comment.

Ivan suddenly let out a hoot of pleased laughter.  Bloody el!  We erd ye had a bop on de ed, aye?  And we tink day send us a bloody imbecile or what, aye? he cried, hooting with laughter again.  I was staring at him, slightly disconcerted.  I was trying to decide if I should be insulted or not.

What in bloody el kind of name is Jinnaliss? he asked, smiling broadly at me.  Taint bloody French, aye?  he dissolved into hysterical laughter again, while I stared at him numbly.

Well...in a way, I said, still slightly uncomfortable. I was still not sure what to make of Ivan. Actually,  it’s Jennalise.

Tis no matter lass.  Awed by your beauty, I am.  Though tis a pity your bloody name isFrench, laughed Ivan.

I was still staring at him dumbfoundedly. I had just traveled for many hours and I was suddenly feeling completely overwhelmed.  I took and deep breath and fought the urge to burst out in spontaneous tears.

Eh blast!  Yeer prettier than the day is long. exclaimed Ivan, putting his arm around me and steering me into the sitting room to sit beside him on the couch.  Maggie and Ilene were both giggling as they peered into the sitting room.  I was eyeing Ivan cautiously.

He really is quite harmless, said Ilene, giggling.  He will always say exactly what he is thinking, you can count on that!

I sighed contentedly.  Ivan’s brutal honesty was going to be my saving grace, it was what I needed.  I still wasn’t sure what to expect of Maggie and Ilene.

So I settled in with Maggie and Ivan.  Life there on the quiet estate suited me.  I had my own large, private room and bath.  I could go for walks, or out horseback riding whenever I wanted to.  Ivan had a stable full of fine horses.  I felt like I had died and went to heaven. After all these months, I was finally coming back to life.  I was even able to enroll in a few classes at the nearby University.

My classes at the University were the best part of my new life.  I had felt so useless after the accident.  Now, at least, I was learning. I was like a sponge, absorbing every single detail.  In addition, I had made lots of friends at the University.  I attended my classes during the week and on weekends I went horseback riding, or occasionally out to pubs with my friends.

The slow pace of Scottish rural life suited me.  I was comfortable here, not happy, but comfortable...at least.  It was a welcome change, I had been slightly overwhelmed by the frenetic pace of Chicago after the accident.  I felt like the world had moved on around me, while I had been frozen in time for months.  I was still introverted and sad, but I put on a good enough front to convince Maggie and Ivan that my emotional well being was recovering splendidly.

Maggie had apparently been quite a socialite in her younger days.  She knew everyone of importance in Great Britain and was quite proud of her extensive social network.  She was often invited to Royal functions and she had even met the Queen.

Not long after I arrived in Scotland, Maggie had made it her mission in life to introduce me into London society and have me introduced to some proper British gentlemen, in the hopes that one might someday propose to me, and become my husband.

I was completely horrified by this plan!  I tried to tell Maggie many times, that I wasn’t ready to date yet.  That I wasn’t over the overwhelming heartbreak of loosing my fiancee.  Maggie never listened though.  She was apparently so scared that I was going to parish from loneliness, finding me a proper English suitor had become quite an obsession for her.

I was able to resist her attempts for a while.  My heart was still aching over Matt’s death and I didn’t know if I would ever be ready to begin dating again.  I had met a lot of guys at the University, but I wasn’t really interested in any of them.  No one caught my attention, no one seemed to interest me.

Ilene, like her mother, always had her eyes open for a proper suitor for me.  Even though I had told them both repeatedly that I was not ready to date.  I could never be sure when some dreadfully boring gentleman would be invited to dinner at the manor, for the express purpose of introducing the man to me.

Before long, I had begun to realize that I would have to endure at least one night a week, where I would be forced to dine with some awkwardly dull gentleman that Maggie or Ilene seemed to think would be perfectly suitable for me.

After several weeks of this nonsense I had begun to fear that all British gentlemen were under the impression that all women were complete idiots and not good for anything besides bearing them a few good children.  I silently wondered if maybe they had been warned ahead of time that I had suffered from a head injury, and possibly they feared as a result, I had the intelligence of a riding crop.

All the gentlemen seemed quite taken aback by the fact that I had an opinion about anything, and they seemed to be intimidated by the fact that I was a skilled horsewoman and had a recently obtained, vast knowledge of English Literature.  It was all I could do to simply tolerate these evenings!

I was stunned when Maggie came home to the estate one afternoon in a complete dither.  I was sitting in one of the wrought iron chairs, there on the manor’s vast stone terrace.  Ivan and I were having afternoon tea, as we gazed out over the estate’s rolling green hills.

I could sit there for hours with Ivan.  We both appreciated silence.  We could sit there for hours watching the clouds drift by, or the bees flitting from flower to flower, neither of us felt the need to fill the silence with unnecessary talking.  We enjoyed each other’s company without ever needing to speak.

It was a beautiful, sunny day and a light breeze was causing the apple trees in the orchard to wave their branches in an elaborate dance.  Their blossoms flitted about in the breeze, filling the air with their fragrance.  The only sound was the wind, the birds, and the calls of the herd of sheep that was gathered on the hillside to the south.

Ivan and I were both startled as Maggie bounced merrily out through the terrace doors.  She was dancing around excitedly and I was staring at her blankly.  I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.   Maggie usually only got excited like this when she found a new gentleman for me to meet.  I couldn’t help but be a bit worried about who she may have invited to dinner tonight.

Jenna, we must go shopping! Maggie cried, excitedly.

I eyed her calmly.  I had plenty of clothes, my Grandmother had personally seen to that before I left the states.  Besides, couldn’t imagine the need to dress up for any of the clueless morons we had previously entertained at the manor.  These gentlemen as Maggie called them, were all fellows of impeccable upbringing, with paunchy midsections and receding hairlines.  I found them to be dreadfully boring toads in moth eaten sweaters. I wondered how Maggie could ever imagine that I would be attracted to any of them.

I was suddenly panicking, hoping she hadn’t invited a member of the Royal family there for dinner.  Maggie always had such high hopes for me, I wasn’t prepared to deal with that sort of embarrassment.

Oh Aunt Maggie, what have you done? I asked her cautiously, I was biting my lower lip anxiously, almost afraid to hear her answer.

We have been invited to the Royal Ascot! Maggie cried excitedly, waving the invitation in the air jubilantly, as if it were a winning lottery ticket.

I stared at her blankly and gave Ivan a quizzical glance.  I had never seen Maggie so excited before.  I had no idea what a Royal Ascot was, or why I should be excited to be going.  Ivan was frowning and rolling his eyes in boredom as Maggie danced around the terrace in a clumsy sort of jig.

Sounds like a blast, I said, grimacing.  I truly had no idea what she was talking about.  I was sure it was some dreadful, high society party, where I could never possibly fit in.

Are you not excited? cried Maggie.  She was staring at me with a combination of shock and exasperation.  Ivan let out of bored guffaw.

I guess I’m not really sure what a Royal Ascot is, I said, frowning slightly and looking over at Ivan with a shrug.  Ivan snorted derisively.

The Royal Ascot is only the single most important social event of the summer in London. Everyone who is anyone will be there, Maggie announced proudly with a majestic nod of her head.  I sighed miserably.  As far as I was concerned, it was nothing but another elaborate attempt to fix me up with whatever Maggie considered, a proper English gentleman.

I rolled my eyes and frowned.  Maggie...really...I don’t think... I began disconcertedly. How do you even begin to tell a dear old woman you have no desire to go the boring English party she is so excited for you to attend?

Poppycock!  I will not have you moping around this manor every weekend.  You are a lovely young lass and  I know there is a gentleman out there for you, somewhere.  Perhaps he will be at the Ascot.

I sighed miserably and fought the urge to roll my eyes.  I didn’t want to meet any gentlemen, I was already quite sure I was not ready to date anyone.  I was not sure how I could possibly make it any more clear to her.